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Author Topic: scared,worried,distracted  (Read 4386 times)

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Offline ansonsad

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scared,worried,distracted
« on: November 13, 2008, 11:45:34 AM »
hi im a guy from philippines i really made a mistake last week november 7, i had a vaginal sex(unprotected) for 5mins wow i'm so stupid to do that with a prostitute, i always practice safe sex but somehow she is a partner of my bestfriend 3 months ago they always had sex without protection soo i assumed that she is also clean. so i was tempted to do it unprotected even my bestfriend has already tested negative after 3 months of exposure.. but somehow in the back of my mind that i put myself in risk im so scared right now i know i should wait for 3 months but sometimes when you are waiting in a situation like this days seem to be longer and i can't concentrate with my life, sometimes i want to cry because of what i have done, im pretty much have done my research about hiv, i know that i have a risk 1:2000 its considered low but its always a risk, somehow i don't want to post my situation cause majority of you will say i should get tested this waiting sucks, also i had talked with the girl and she said she normally practices safe sex, she only did it with my bestfriend, and his current boyfriend. im still paranoid what if her boyfriend has hiv? sorry im just worried i hope you all are doing great i admire those of you especially people who are helping like rapidrod,anne,andy,jkinatl2, keep up the good work.. well this is my story wish me luck also i have now a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes i know this is not ars symptoms because its only my first week  ;D just want to share my story sorry for keeping in long i just need an outlet to tell all my story because here in our country, people here is quite conservative all sometimes people here doesn't know hiv that well, btw i have a girl friend right now.. i should practice safe sex for now.. but wow this guilt is also quite killing me ok i'm leaving now i'll keep you an update wish me luck!!!bye

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2008, 11:50:36 AM »
by the way i read an article just now i hope this with be a breakthrough http://www.thenewsvault.com/cgi/xtra.pl?go=12265810626

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2008, 12:32:37 PM »
We don't play the numbers game, that's better left to the horse track. Yes you will need to test. The use of a condom would have prevented your worries.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2008, 12:40:08 PM »
thanks rapidrod i will im so scared right now.. its pretty hard times but is that ratio consistent? i know hiv is quite hard to transmit, may i ask why is it hard to transmit?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2008, 12:45:02 PM »
Just as long as you understand that you can be infected on your first exposure, not saying you will.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2008, 12:48:53 PM »
ok im worried again right now does anybody here was infected with one exposure? just wondering... sorry i know i'm quite annoying just want to have some hope as im waiting,

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2008, 12:50:28 PM »
also what if she had a low viral load? what if she's newly infected? will that lower my chances?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2008, 12:56:05 PM »
It's some what harder for female to male transmission, but it does happen. As for the waiting period keep off the Internet and keep yourself busy. The time will move a lot more quickly on dwelling on something that you cannot fix.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2008, 12:59:35 PM »
ok thats a good advice cause somehow when i got home the first thing i do is to check hiv sites, and i will be again scared keep it up rapidrod thanks for helping

Online Andy Velez

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2008, 01:20:49 PM »
It is significantly harder to transmit HIV from female to male. So that's in your favor as well as the brevity of the single incident. So odds are good that you will test negative.

But you do need to learn from this experience. Low risk is not the same as no risk. As long as you consistently use a condom everytime you have intercourse, it doesn't matter if your matter is HIV+ or not. Condoms do the job and provide very effective protection.

Now, follow Rod's suggestion, get busy with other things and stop surfing the net for things to scare yourself with.

I expect you are going to come out of this ok.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2008, 08:46:15 PM »
hi im here again still having a cold and swollen lymph node at right armpit, im experiencing this funny itchiness all over my body, i don't know sometimes i'm worried sometimes i'm not what if i'm the 1 out of 2000 people, sight well i got to face it whatever happens, first of all i did this stupidity now i am having hard time.. by the way my friend who got tested after 3 months doesn't think she has hiv. they did unprotected sex many times, but i'm still paranoid :'(

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2008, 08:55:34 PM »
an,

Go see a doctor. Whatever (if anything) is going on with you has nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2008, 11:07:38 AM »
hi ann thanks for replying are you sure its nothing to do with hiv? its like under the skin itching im worried again, its in my back my face my head hands etc.. thanks for the reply i hope i'll be ok

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2008, 11:55:30 AM »
http://www.aids.org/- im worried really worried this skin itching is just new to me i can't scratch it because it feels inside im sorry im paranoid

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2008, 12:42:21 PM »
See your doctor if you have a concern. It has nothing to do with HIV.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2008, 08:21:15 PM »
ok i will see the doctor, i was afraid because some sites said that skin disease is part of hiv symptoms im so sorry

Online Andy Velez

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #16 on: November 16, 2008, 08:33:40 PM »
Stop searching sites to scare yourself with misinformation and comments which have no application to your situation. This is not an HIV problem.

Go see your doctor to find out what is causing your symptoms 'cause it ain't HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #17 on: November 16, 2008, 08:44:40 PM »
thanks andy i sure learned my lessons now after this i won't engage in an unprotected sex, this waiting is like hell i can't concentrate with my life right now, every symptom that i feel is making me more worried about hiv pray for me i hope i'll be ok thanks

Online Andy Velez

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #18 on: November 16, 2008, 08:59:02 PM »
As I have said previously, I expect you to come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #19 on: November 17, 2008, 02:16:12 AM »
hello there just want to have an outlet, just want to voice out my fear im dealing with my life right now.. my life is a mess can't concentrate with my work can't help about hiv, i followed the advice of andy and rapid not to research now about hiv, but now i can't help to think of it, i sometimes cry and just pray that i would not get it, im so lonely right now very lonely, but sometimes a forget my problem when i see my friend healthy and hiv free, but i still can't let go of it until i've done testing yet, is the figure really accurate? 1:2000 for unprotected vaginal sex? how come they had come up of ratio like this?well just to have an encouragement.. bye for now... i'm so sad thanks

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #20 on: November 17, 2008, 02:47:41 AM »
I am really sorry you are having such troubles during this difficult time. And though this is a terrific forum for scientific information and risk assessment, it's honestly not made for the type of support and help you seem to need. Are there any trained counselors or other professionals in your area? They would certainly be able to help better than we could.

It would seem logical to me, that if your goal is to refrain from obsessing with HIV, hanging out on an HIV specific site might not be the healthiest option.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #21 on: November 17, 2008, 10:05:54 AM »
i am sorry also jkinatl i just need an outlet especially this coming more weeks, sometimes i just need an encouragement when worriers here who has greater risks manage to have a negative test.. im sorry if sometimes i become too needy, well i thank you moderators for being there when i have to express my feelings, sorry here in our country hiv is not a big deal here, i think cause people here is not as open minded in like other countries, i think there is only 2 hospitals who can give me an answer for that and sometimes they are not just knowledgeable about hiv im so sorry... hope that you guys will understand thanks for the support GodBless

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #22 on: November 17, 2008, 10:33:48 PM »
hi its me again, i realize somethings. stress is becoming a big factor on what is i am experiencing right now, high stress level= colds, flu etc. also the itchiness im telling is a stress factor also well im still waiting for few weeks before i get tested thanks for the support guys wish me luck

Offline survive8

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #23 on: November 17, 2008, 11:21:21 PM »
buddy how are you? i am new here. i am from philippines as well. i dont know how can i pm you, maybe i can help you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #24 on: November 17, 2008, 11:35:21 PM »
survive8, please don't post in any forum other than your own. Take the time to read the posting guidelines that are located in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #25 on: November 19, 2008, 08:05:57 PM »
hi there somehow im still scared but there's nothing much to do but still wait my symptoms doesn't disappear still the(sore throat and itchiness of skin) but if you search about my symptoms it is also related to stress, my question is the earliest date can i test? my exposure was last nov 7 thanks all

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #26 on: November 19, 2008, 08:31:12 PM »
i hope i won't get sick this coming weeks  :'( just want to ask if ars symptoms is usually in 2-4 weeks would appear

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #27 on: November 20, 2008, 02:31:17 PM »
hi anyone could please answer this if the stats say that there is a ratio of 5:10000 of insertive penil-vaginal sex, so if you could calculate the risk is less than 1% am i right about that?just wondering thanks for the reply

Online Andy Velez

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #28 on: November 20, 2008, 02:38:33 PM »
The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number will seroconvert within 4-6 weeks.

There is nothing HIV specific about your symptoms.

We don't get into quantifying risk with ratios and numbers. That's all just guesswork and doesn't get you the answer you want. Nor does it address the anxiety which is really driving your questions. All it does is to fuel your obsession.

What you need to do is to work on directing your attention to other things until you can do your test. And don't bother telling me you're too worried to do that because that isn't going to fly here. Just do it and cut out the drama. 
Andy Velez

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #29 on: November 26, 2008, 12:27:32 AM »
hi sorry andy for the drama, im quite ok right now.. just adjusting and waiting first, i just want to ask if dry skin and i i have rashed/ pimple like in my chest and tingling muscles is an ars symtom, sometimes fatigue, when you say 22 days people seroconvert, so after 22days you will not experience symptoms anymore?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #30 on: November 26, 2008, 01:10:45 AM »
HIV has NO specific symptoms. HIV is not diagnosed by symptoms it's confirmed by testing. Take the time to reread Andy and Ann's replies to you.

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #31 on: November 26, 2008, 02:32:14 AM »
hi rapid thanks for the reply just i'm just curious about the 22 days seroconvetion period, does that mean almost all would have a detectable hiv in 22days?

Offline ansonsad

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Re: scared,worried,distracted
« Reply #32 on: November 26, 2008, 04:33:15 AM »
also does it mean when someone sereconvert, he will not have any symptoms afterwards?

 


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