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Author Topic: Purina Diet...a funny  (Read 1312 times)

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Offline Teresa

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  • Posts: 1,753
Purina Diet...a funny
« on: August 01, 2006, 01:05:23 PM »
Got this in my email today..



I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no...I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
« Last Edit: August 01, 2006, 01:36:39 PM by Teresa »
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Online Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2006, 01:37:23 PM »
OOOOOOOHH!

You're terrible Teresa! I love it! ;D

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2006, 02:06:18 PM »
Funny as hell!!!   I was just on my way to pick some up!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline clarke

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  • Posts: 169
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2006, 02:10:13 PM »
That was so-o-o sick! But funny as 7734!

It might be something to attempt the next time I go there!!

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2006, 04:10:09 PM »
 :D :D :D....Bad Teresa...now go and sit in the time out chair.

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline joyluckclub

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  • Posts: 136
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2006, 12:51:12 AM »
that was soooooo good.......I don't know if I would have had the courage to do that!

Great!
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

Offline david25luvit

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  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2006, 12:55:57 AM »
OMG Teresa...........

                        You bad bad girl! :o 
                    You are so bad.....................and funny!!!!  ;D
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2006, 01:43:09 AM »
Teresa,

I love it! Seriously funny stuff babe. But more importantly:


MtD

Offline HollyStar

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  • Posts: 344
Re: Purina Diet...a funny
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2006, 01:49:02 AM »
LOL! That was funny! Thanks.
Diagnosed  July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

'If your ship doesn't come, swim out to it.' - Jonathan Winters

 


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