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Author Topic: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends  (Read 7170 times)

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Offline 27years

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Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« on: November 08, 2008, 09:04:23 AM »
Could someone just tell me things will be alright.  I am so so upset at the moment.  I have issues with confidentiality at work.  Hope I will have the strength to write the whole story when i log on next time.  I feel so fed up and am just loosing the power and will to fight the system.  Yesterday i got the last straw of my life.  I am health and fit but mentally challenged.  Has anyone here dealt with a breach of their confidentiality at work.  Mine has been compromised by the so called BOSS I don't even know where to start because i am so hurt.  A hug would do me great today.
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline vivyt

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2008, 09:33:06 AM »
27, I have never dealt with this but I can send a hug your way............Consider yourself hugged!  :)

Offline Sweet_C

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2008, 09:50:18 AM »
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.  I hope things get better.
Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2008, 10:48:02 AM »
27-
I am sorry you are going through this right now.  I laughed when I read the title of your thread, so at least you still have your sense of humor.  Try to stay strong, you can get through this.

Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline BT65

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2008, 09:55:35 PM »
27, if your confidentiality has been violated, especially by your boss, I would talk to a lawyer.  That's against the law.  Anyway, here's a {{HUG}}
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2008, 06:54:40 PM »
Agrees with Betty...and here's a hug too....(((((27)))))))
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline 27years

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2008, 01:42:06 PM »
Thanks ladies for the messages and hugs.  I have calmed down a bit or maybe its because i have other important things to think about at the moment.  Its a complex issue and one thing is leading to another. I will speak to one of the equal opportunities adviser at work and see if I can get the work policy on HIV.  I will let you know the whole story once i get my bits and pieces together.  I try to carry on smiling but hey I end up sighing.

Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline Ann

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2008, 07:11:43 AM »
Hi 27,

I'm glad to hear you're pursuing this - breaching a person's health confidentiality at work is just so wrong. I hope you get a good result and yes, please do keep us posted.

Hugs,
Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

tendai

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2008, 03:03:31 AM »
good luck with that 27, i hope it works out.

Offline 27years

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2008, 05:42:52 PM »
Spoke to an equal opportunities advisor at work, what a nightmare she is, she is not fully updated with HIV so she wasn't of much help, bollocks she was a waste of my time.  I contacted a lawyer who told me that my confidentiality was breached and advised me toe write a formal complain to the medical officer in charge of my Dr. 

This is how the whole thing started I told my Mr Nice (boyfriend) who works with my Dr about my status, he went and asked my Dr and my Dr was happy to discuss my status with him without my consent,  That did not upset me but I only said to Mr Nice is the Dr aware that he wasn't supposed to say anything. Nothing really bothered me at that time.  I had kept my relationship with this guy private and we really got on very well, he just told the Dr that we were close friends. 

The part that made me blew up - My Dr left one of my documents which where supposed to be filed at the reception desk which he wasn't supposed to.  One of Mr Nice work colleague read the document, instead of giving it to back to my Dr she took it to the officer in charge that officer happens to be Mr Nice boss and my boss as well though i am not directly under her command.  The girl wasn't aware that Mr Nice knew my status already so she told the officer that Mr Nice is a good friend with me and might be having a sexual affair with me and the officer should make him aware of my status.  Instead of her talking to me about it or confirming if i was in a relationship with Mr Nice, she just declared that Mr Nice should get tested as he works in a clinic enviroment or he will loose his job if he refused.  I was upset with this move , although Mr nice didn't refuse to get tested I think that was a invading my privacy and his privacy, surely being positive does not mean i am not intitled to having a relationship and disclosing my status to people on assumption that they are my partner or they have to be forewarned before they think of having an affair with me is really ridiculous. This whole thing has put a strain on my relationship with Mr Nice.  He is a very nice person but we have both been stretched to far.  He is the one who told me about the documents which were left on the desk and i feel as if i have put a complain against him for telling me the information.  I also put a complain on him being told without my consent.  When I asked the Dr why he told my Mr Nice he said "I just confirmed what he already knew because you had told him already"  Even though i had told him the Dr did not have the right to speak to him about it without my consent.

I am still waiting for the medical officer to write back that is if she bothers, if she doesn't i have a week to wait for a week more then i will take it further.  It doesnt get any better but i will keep my chin up and get things right.










Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2008, 07:40:57 PM »
This is how the whole thing started I told my Mr Nice (boyfriend) who works with my Dr about my status, he went and asked my Dr and my Dr was happy to discuss my status with him without my consent,  That did not upset me but I only said to Mr Nice is the Dr aware that he wasn't supposed to say anything. Nothing really bothered me at that time.  I had kept my relationship with this guy private and we really got on very well, he just told the Dr that we were close friends.
  ---------- I can see that, my doc spoke to my mother for me after I finally told her
The part that made me blew up - My Dr left one of my documents which where supposed to be filed at the reception desk which he wasn't supposed to.  One of Mr Nice work colleague read the document, instead of giving it to back to my Dr she took it to the officer in charge that officer happens to be Mr Nice boss and my boss as well though i am not directly under her command.  The girl wasn't aware that Mr Nice knew my status already so she told the officer that Mr Nice is a good friend with me and might be having a sexual affair with me and the officer should make him aware of my status.
  WOW----Way out of line.  I totally agree, this violated your privacy, she and the officer needs to get fired in my opinion.  Where are you again?  Don't they have confidentiality agreements there?


Geezo! I can see why you would be so freaked out.  I hope everything gets worked out for you and that you have some level of comfort.  Hopefully, things work out with Mr. Nice, too.
Thanks for letting us know what happened, I was wondering how you were doing.  I still love the title of the thread but hate that this had to happen!










Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline BT65

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2008, 08:26:12 PM »
I smell a lawsuit.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Ann

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2008, 09:24:40 PM »
Wow 27, this is just all so wrong an I also smell a lawsut.

My current bf and I are close as can be. He is the person from whom I acquired my infection from years ago. We have the same doctor. Yet, when I tell our doctor things about my partner that he, as his doctor, needs to know, he plays dumb because that is what is required from him as a part of patient/doctor confidentiality. To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. Our doctor listens to me, but it goes no further. And our doctor tells me NOTHING about my partner. That's the way it should be.

Your doctor should NEVER talk to ANYONE about anyone elses health.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

tendai

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2008, 04:04:37 AM »
total breach of confidentiality.  give them hell 27..

Offline 27years

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2008, 09:51:10 PM »
Its getting complex and complicated for them but I can see the funny side of it. I finally managed to speak to my own higher boss who was really supportive and strongly thinks I should take legal action.  On a sad note My Mr Nice has been suspended from work, other people are involved as well.  They have realised they did a blunder.  I am happy that at least someone from work has noted that things were handled badly.  I am now waiting for a written reply.  Will keep you posted.

Mr Nice is not talking to me, he is not answering my calls or texts.  i am thinking of giving him the time deal with this but then I feel so bad that things ended up this way.  All my ends keep moving further, hopefully one day they will meet.
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline BT65

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2008, 08:15:42 AM »
Mr Nice is not talking to me, he is not answering my calls or texts.  i am thinking of giving him the time deal with this but then I feel so bad that things ended up this way. 

Don't feel bad in the least.  None of this is your fault.  "Mr. Nice" is acting like his actions getting him into hot water are your fault.  Don't fall for that.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline mahalia

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2008, 08:27:07 AM »
HI 27, sorry bout the whole saga, pple should learn to take responsibility of their actions, sue them. hope it Mr Nice comes around tho...

Offline 27years

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2008, 07:16:19 PM »
Got the written response, just those damn blah blah blah we apologise type thing.  At least they didnt dispute any of the issues i raised.  Further investigtions are underway.  I know its going to take a while to resolve but I am not giving up on them yet.  The stress I have been through is worthy the fight i have to do.  I dont think i want to stay at the place in the same job anymore but i will get this addressed separately. I have given up on Mr Nice, sad it ended that way so thats me heading for poz personals. Thank you ladies for being there for me will keep you posted, wish you all happy holidays   
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline bluebird

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #18 on: December 19, 2008, 12:51:09 AM »
27

I know exactly what you are going through.  My confidentiality was breached by my employer - in a big way.  It ended up being nationwide news.  Basically I received my provisional diagnosis one day, and the next it was made public.  I ended up having to leave my home town permanently.

My advice to you is, if you feel strong enough (and only if) consider taking legal action.  There are reasons we have laws regarding HIV and confidentiality.  Often times people are pressured not to pursue the issue - as it can stir up a hornets nest.  I received a great deal of help from a local HIV support service, too, who put me in touch with a lawyer who understood this particular issue.  If you have a good one, consider getting advice from them....

Nothing will change unless this issue of confidentiality is taken more seriously.  Too many people I feel get away with it - perhaps if a few more got a firm slap on the wrist things might change for the better.....

Offline BT65

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #19 on: December 19, 2008, 10:09:56 AM »
I believe if anything like that happened to me, I would take the employer to court unless they were willing to compensate with a huge amount of dough.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline bluebird

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Re: Whenever I am about to make ends meet someone moves the ends
« Reply #20 on: December 20, 2008, 05:10:38 AM »
Well - at the time I didn't go through with it - I mean the full legal route.  Instead I got them to pay for all my course fees to go back to Uni, and my salary on top of that for the next three years  ;D  At least I will be able to take care of myself - maybe get a nice little place someday, grow a few vegetables, and if I'm really lucky share my life with a good man.  Still searching....... :)

 


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