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Author Topic: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!  (Read 26320 times)

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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #50 on: November 18, 2008, 03:27:15 AM »
hey Queen,

Im sorry things are so crap and hope they work out for you soon. Maybe if you started school you could fix a ride with someone from your area, but you still need a car for everything else where you live. Can you borrow someone's car in the meantime? From what I have seen so far I think things will work out for you eventually. if the stimulous romour is correct, would that be enough to get a "new" car? i heard cars in the states are really cheap (the old ones). Fingers crossed for you to resolve this, hang in there...
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #51 on: November 18, 2008, 08:42:49 AM »
Good Morning Ladies  :)

Drag- I definitely know what it's like to be busy. How are the "newlyweds" doing?

Queen- I wish things could be different for you.

Well, the fires are pretty much under control. A couple of teachers had to be evacuated but their houses didn't burn. Yesterday the air quality was so bad the kids weren't allowed to go outside. They had to be inside all day which is terrible for everyone. Unfortunately BT, I did not completely finish my report cards but I only have a couple things left so I am not stressed about it. This week is a full one for sure. On Friday my class and another class put on a Thanksgiving feast. The kids do everything. I think I may have mentioned it last year. It's hard to believe that another year has gone by! It is always stressful leading up to it, but the end result is so worth it! That's all for now! Have a good day everyone  ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #52 on: November 18, 2008, 11:48:41 AM »
Hey ladies,

Queen, I'm so sorry things are going to shit right now.  If you're thinking about going to school, after you get the thing with the loans straightened out (like I said before, if you took out the loans before you went on disability, they should be able to be discharged), start with vocational rehabilitation.  There's offices in every area of the country.  They pay for people who are disabled to go to school.  Before I got a car, voc rehab also gave me  bus tokens to get back and forth to school.  Would that be an option?  As far as the vertigo, if it doesn't go away, I would be in contact with the doctor.  You might have something going on in your ears.  Your case manager at the ASO should give you a ride if you need to see the dotor.  I'm not trying to tell you what to do; just trying to think of some things that may help.  Do either one of your ears ache?  If one does, maybe you could try putting a very warm washrag on it and lay down.  I don't know if that would help or not, but it might.  Anyway, I'll definitely be praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts, gf.  Don't give up. 

Drag, we got 4 inches of snow here last night.  I couldn't believe it when I got up this morning.  So, that of course meant shoveling and more shoveling.  Good exercise though.  Just a comment on what you said about "used cars being cheap" here in the states.  Not really.  It used to be (when I was like 16) that one could get a good used car for like $500.  Now, a good used car costs at least a couple thousand.   I'm glad your husband got a new t.v. for you guys.  I've gotten t.v.'s at 2nd hand stores before (usually pawn shops).  You can get some good deals in pawn shops.  They have a t.v. show on here about addiction called "Intervention."  I watch it sometimes.  They also have a show called "Celebrity Rehab." (I think that's what it's called).  I watched it Sunday.  It's all Hollywood (or rock and roll) stars in drug/alcohol treatment in California.  They're just like regular people when it comes to addiction etc.  Anyway, I'm rambling.  I hope you're doing well and that your hand is feeling a bit better.  Do you wear a brace?

Andrea, the Thanksgiving dinner sounds like fun.  How do the kids usually do?  They prepare the food?  I'm glad to hear the fires are kind of controlled and that you didn't have to evacuate.  It's so sad that so many people lost their homes. 

Well, like I told Drag, we had about 4 inches of snow last night.  I was so surprised when I got up, but I had heard we were supposed to get some lake effect (this area is famous for that).  So I was out shoveling this morning. 

All I did today (besides the shoveling) was change my cat's litter and mail a couple cards.  My sister in Arizona is giving up care of her stepson to a licensed home because his father stalks her and she wants it to stop.  Her stepson is blind, severely retarded, and has cerebral palsy real bad.  There's also something wrong with his lungs.  I'm not sure exactly what, but I know when he was a newborn, he was cold blue.  He's in his 20's now, and my sister has been taking care of him since he was about 5.  She and his father got divorced years ago, but the father won't quit harrassing my sister and sending her strange e-mails.  It's like cyber-stalking.  He even moved into my sister's neighborhood, which really freaked her out.  Hopefully she'll be safe. 

Well ladies, I'm going to check out a few more threads.  You all have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #53 on: November 19, 2008, 05:17:49 AM »
hie ladies

queen - sorry things are so shitty right now, i hope something works out.  here's a big ((((((HUG))))))))

drag - sorry to slap u so much :)  theres some lawyer group who intends to sue the government and the water authority for the deaths of those people. good luck with that, if Mugabe controls the Justice ministry they wont get any justice.  i dont think theres a good reason for letting a high density suburb go withoout water for 3 months and not expect diseases. and yet u go into town and u see water flowing down the street from burst pipes or whatever.  now that its pouring with rain we're hoping the situation will get better. hopefully the rain wont just carry the cholera back into the rivers and into our homes.  i guess God felt it was time to intervene huh?
hows your husband? aint it great saying that? like when u introduce him "this is my husband".  cool.  good luck with work, dont burn yourself out

betty - the unity government is the government consisting of the ZANU PF (Mugabe) and the MDC working together "sharing power" they say ::).   about your sister, can she tell the police that that man is harassing her and could potentially mean them harm? last thing she needs is worrying about him i bet..

viv - im glad u're safe

its been raining since 5am today. so i didnt get up until around 8.30 coz there was no way i wouldve made it in that downpour.  anyway i got to work at 10! and my boss was pissed. no way was i getting myself soaked to the skin, what if i caught pneumonia with all our cheaper hospitals closed? the doctors and nurses did a march in protest of the collapse in health delivery. if those riot police had beaten them up... they wouldnt dare! who'd look after patients if all the health providers were injured?  i would've been tempted to call in sick if there was electricity but it went off as soon as it started to rain. could actually hear it buzzing buzzing then it was lights out. i hope this does not mean that every single time it rains we will be "powerless" :)
i wish obama would start work already, people are already saying all sorts of stuff before he's even done anything yet. still dont get why the elections go like that over there in the US, maybe voting should've been done in January then he'd just win and start work the next day..
« Last Edit: November 19, 2008, 05:27:50 AM by tendai »

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #54 on: November 19, 2008, 02:19:42 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Tendai, my sister's ex used to be on felony probation.  He never went to jail, but they gave him "felony" probation because of what he could potentially be capable of.  But, he is her stepson's father and has never presented a direct danger to his son.  It's complicated.  Anyway, about the election..... each new president has to pick a whole new cabinet.  And that takes awhile i.e. choosing someone, their backgrounds are investigated etc.  There also has to be a transition into the White House.  And there are other elections going on, like senate elections and congress elections.  I voted for Obama, but I don't expect miracles.  Our economy is so bad, it's going to take a long while to fix it up. 

Nothing much going on in my world at the moment.  Just school tonight.  I have to write two big papers, one for each class.  And a short one for Forensic Psych about one of the chapters in our text.  I, of course, picked the chapter about drugs.  It says in there that drugs don't directly cause criminal behavior, that people are predisposed to it (criminal behavior).  I totally disagree with that and if the teacher o.k.'s it, I will be writing about that to disprove the text.  When I was doing dope, I was a stone, hard criminal and before doing dope, I was a straight-A, law-abiding citizen.  Anyway, that's about all for today.  You all have a good one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #55 on: November 19, 2008, 09:47:02 PM »
Now there is something to think about. Drugs and criminal behavior.

The use of drugs is a criminal act most often. While using drugs people often resort to criminal acts to get the money to pay for the drugs. 
I think they mean the drugs themselves do not cause the criminal behavior. Its the persons desire or need to have the drug that makes many people resort to criminal activities in order to support or pay for the continued use of the drug.

Maybe that was too simplified. I'm sure there is a better way of saying it.

I've been around and reading post I just haven't felt like typing much lately.
Hope you ladies had a nice day. Mine was decent. I'm doing ok aside from pooping my butt off as usual. LOL


modified because I thought of an analogy

Think of drugs like a parked car. Like drugs the car is an inanimate object.
A car without a driver does not wreck. So its the actions of the person that causes the wreck not the inanimate object.

It is a flawed analogy but I think it works for the most part.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2008, 10:05:44 PM by Winiroo »

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #56 on: November 19, 2008, 10:56:36 PM »
Hey everyone. Just a quick stop. Finished all of my report cards so I am very happy! Here in my state we are also having problems in government. Apparently there is no money so Arnold is saying that there are going to be serious cuts in education. It irritates me how the first place they always want to take from are the schools. It's just ridiculous! They talk about increasing class size and cutting back on programs. I know there are problems in education but that is not the way to solve it. They need to get rid of the teachers who are just there because there is a summer vacation....Ok, that's all! Off my box... ;D

Nice to hear from you Wendy. I hope you are doing well.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #57 on: November 20, 2008, 09:37:04 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wendy, the textbook is saying that the drugs do not cause criminal behavior; I don't think they mean the drugs in and of themselves, because they go on to say that people who act criminally while using drugs were already predisposed to that.  That's what I intend to disprove.  The abuse of drugs turns a lot of people into criminals.  Believe me, I have a lot of personal experience with that.  Before using drugs, I wasn't a criminal and I'm not now.  And of course, I'll only be talking about the drugs I have experience with, not the ones I don't (like the "club" drugs, never did those).  Anyway, it's good to hear from you.  Sorry you've still got the shits.  Does nothing stop that for ya?

Andrea, congrats on getting the report cards done.  It is sad when the state government decides to cut education.  That's the future they're fucking with.  I didn't realize California was in such dire circumstances. 

I'm probably going to go to my doctor's today and get lab slips for my bloodwork.  The receptionist said she mailed them out last Friday, so they should have been here by now if they were going to get here.  I need to get them done, as I have a doctor's appointment Dec. 2nd.  I also have to take a bill to them to talk to whomever is in charge of that and ask what the hell they're sending me a bill for.  I have Medicare and Medicaid.  Of course, the Medicaid isn't always active when I can't pay the $130/month to activate it, but regardless, I have Medicare and that should be good enough where I go. 

Other than that, school tonight.  We're supposed to get 6-12 inches of lake effect snow between today and tomorrow, so maybe they'll cancel school.  The whole time I've been going there, they've only cancelled school once.  A couple years ago, it was unseasonably warm and we hardly got any snow.  Last year and this year we're making up for it big time.  You ladies have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #58 on: November 20, 2008, 10:47:49 AM »
Drug addiction leads to criminal behavior in many people but not all people. 
This is a complex subject to work over in my head. While I do not have nor have I ever had a drug problem, in the past I was highly involved in the lives of many people in recovery. I have seen the effects of use and abuse in friends and family.
I'm not sure if those who chose crime to support their habit where predisposed to crime or if they where pushed by their need for the drug into crime in able to support that addiction.
I think it would be hard to prove one way or the other. Good luck, it sounds like it will be a tough task.

I think my meds is the cause of the squirts but it could be a combo low immune system and hiv meds. The world will never know. LOL  I noticed it stopped when I took pain meds more than once a day. I dont want to do that. Lomodil or antidiarrhea meds work slightly but not very well.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #59 on: November 20, 2008, 02:24:55 PM »
Most people who choose crime to support their drug habit are not predisposed to crime.  Being that I've been around recovery since 1989, I've seen too many people who were stone hard criminals when they were abusing drugs, then all that behavior stops once they get into recovery.  That's an easy point to prove.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #60 on: November 21, 2008, 07:03:29 AM »
hey ladies,

guess what, I am home waiting for the guys to come fix the leak again, and after wasteing 4 days on it, and after them wreaking havoc on my upstairs neighbour's place last time, its even worse than before. what a nightmare.

well, not really a "nightmare". but sucks anyway.

hiya Wendy! sorry to hear you have the runs. I had a massage last night and in the middle of the session I had to tell my therapist he'd better stop. all that lying on my stomach, although he wasnt putting pressure on it, was just dangerous. How embarassing, but better than the alternative... I just blames it on the meds, I mean, it IS the meds, esp the PIs Im on. I dont get the runs often but do get a lot of "volcanic activity". It would help if I ate better though, which I totally dont.

Betty that guy [sister's ex] sounds so creepy. There is no end to the wierdness in this world is there.

I do agree with you about drugs. I mean, asides from the fact that doing drugs itself is criminal (I know you guys seperate crime and felony and all that, I am not sure the difference so to me just means against the law). depending on the person, wouldnt always lead to hard crime, but would lead to asocial behavior (regardless that people can be very outgoing and social when on drugs, but not giving a fuck really). I know I have been there... not in the very heavy addictive side but I have seen in myself (and continue to see in others) how even being partial to prescription drugs leads people to manipulation, lying, conniving, basically doing anything to get it. I mean, not everyone on drugs will become a robber or a prostitute, depends on the severity, but lots of people would use fake prescriptions for example, or steal meds from someone's house if they are a guest.

I think you can say, the stronger the addiction (and the poorer the person in relation to the money they need to fuel it), the more likely that they will do criminal things. Although criminal varies from place to place. Prostitution for example is not criminal here. But what's always wierd to me is seeing those hollywood types get caught DIU, when they have plenty of money for a taxi or even a chauffer. I guess some drug-related crime is to supply drugs, and the other kind is just the result of a lack of judgement.

I'm quite strict with my view of drugs these days. But I know that whatever horror stories I heard on drugs had absoltely no impact on me at the time, they are just too lucrative.

Andrea, congrats on the report cards. That Arnie is such a muppet, it always looks so strange for me to see him on the news, but I guess you're all fully used to it.

Tendai, I hope you didn't get caught up in the rain. If youre not online in the mornings I guess there is a powerbreak. Hope you have an OK weekend, am thinking of you. Hope you get with your family or something, just for things to ease up a bit.

Great weekend to all you ladies, take good care...  :-*

Oh BTW Snow, your dog is sooo cute



« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 07:06:30 AM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #61 on: November 21, 2008, 08:09:43 AM »
Good Morning!

I can relate to bathroom issues. I don't get the runs but my BM's have been loose since starting meds. I'm just used to it by now. One thing is for sure, when I have to go there is NO waiting! LOL

Interesting discussion about drugs. I don't know a whole lot about it but it all seems so difficult to figure out. Addiction is a very murky thing and people can do things they wouldn't normally do because of addiction, any addiction.

Well today is our feast day and I am already running through everything in my mind. I'll let you know how it goes.

Have a good day  ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #62 on: November 21, 2008, 09:56:23 AM »
Morning ladies,

Drag, I really hope they get that leak fixed.  That totally sucks.  Years ago I rented an apartment and I was in the bathroom one time, and all of a sudden, liquid came down from the ceiling.  It was coming from the apartment above mine.  It turned out, the people upstairs were putting orange peels and syringes down their toilet, causing the pipes to do whatever it was they did.  The landlord had to replace the toilet upstairs.  But it was a mess and I was extremely pissed off.  Good luck.  Is there anything you're going to have to do, like to the floors or anything to make them "clean" again?

Andrea, happy feast day!  You'll have to tell us all the details next time you're on.  I'd like to hear about it.

About the drugs, I've been strung out on a variety of things at different times.  When I was 15-16, it was cocaine.  After that and speed damaged a couple valves in my heart, it was heroin, until I was 18.  When I was on heroin, that's when I stripped, prostituted, fenced (stealing things and selling them), and doing sexual favors for cops so I wouldn't go to jail.  When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped the heroin.  After my daughter was born, I started drinking heavily. And I prostituted at various times.  The last struggle I had with drugs was prescription drugs.  I was seeing this psychiatrist that had me on (yes, he was prescribing all of this) large doses of: Valium, extra-strength Vicodin, Morphine, Dextroamphetamine, sometimes Xanax, Fentanyl and Methadone; pluse large doses of Estrogen, Progesterone and thyroid meds.  During that time, I tried to pass a bad script (I stole part of a prescription pad at a dr.'s office) once; the pharmacist told me never to come back.  I was very fortunate-he could had called the cops and I could have been on my way to prison.  I also stole, a lot, from people, stores, anything that had anything that could be lifted.  I was busted for shoplifting three times.  The judge could have waved me into felony court on the last time, as that time the 3rd time being busted could, at the judge's discretion, constitute a felony.  The judge gave me probation.  Now, the first time being caught shoplifting is a felony, at least in this part of Indiana.

Anyway, I ended up in a nursing home because of all the meds, in a wheelchair, incontinent, never making sense when I talked, and finally became extremely delusional.  I thought I could hear people talking through the walls about me.  I saw things that weren't there.  I was highly agitated all the time, verbally attacking people.  When I was delusional was when they court-ordered me into the county mental health center.  Two sherrifs took me there, handcuffed and shackled.  I was totally freaked out.  I spent three days in bed, going through the most horrible withdrawals I had ever been through.  I wouldn't take any meds they offered me, because I thought they were trying to kill me.  When I say I spent three days in bed, I mean I never got out of the bed.  And I'm diabetic, and not sure how I survived three days without eating, unless when I was out of it, they gave me something so my sugar wouldn't crash.  The first shower I had was given to me by two nurses, who wheeled me into the shower room, because I still was going through too severe a withdrawal to walk. 

When the "fog" cleared, I pushed for help, and for independence.  And that's the story about how I got to where I'm at today.  It was a little over three years ago that I was in the hospital, and I never, ever want to have an experience like that again.  There are many more stories to my addiction, but it would turn out to be a book if I wrote about them all.

OK, this is turning into an extremely long post, and I know whenever I see a long post, I always groan before reading it, so I won't go on much longer.  We really got hit with snow here.  So far, there's 7 inches outside.  We're still getting more (snow) and are expected to for the next two hours.  That means I'll be shoveling in a bit.  Hopefully I'll be able to get out today.  I don't have much to do, but I don't like to feel trapped at home.  Anyway, sorry for talking so much.  I hope you ladies all have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #63 on: November 21, 2008, 08:59:55 PM »
I admire intelligence. I usually skim over some of the long posts but I read yours Betty. You seem like one smart cookie.

Have a great evening ladies!

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #64 on: November 21, 2008, 09:40:08 PM »
I agree with you Wendy. You know Betty, the things we experience in life make us who we are. You are definitely someone who has learned and has turned it around. I wish more people would do something about their situation rather than blame everyone and wait for someone to do everything for them.

Well I am absolutely exhausted! Today's feast went very well. Of course it is always a mess after the fact. The kids really enjoyed themselves and the food. We make corn, real mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy, and pumpkin cookies. It's funny how some of the kids have no idea how some of the food is made. All of them had specific jobs: peeling potatoes, mixing and baking the cookies, stirring the corn in the crock pot, mashing the potatoes, mashing the cranberries, pouring cider, setting the tables (desks), etc. When the potatoes were boiling some the kids had no idea that was how you do it. They also got very excited about boiling the cranberries and when they would pop they would Oooh and Aahh. So cute! On the flip side, this group is also VERY immature and egocentric. Most of them cannot see beyond their own needs. We had to have a quick lesson on manners too. Overall it was a good day, but I am sure glad it's done! I am looking forward to resting this weekend.

Have a good night everyone!!! ;D ;D

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #65 on: November 21, 2008, 10:08:58 PM »
Hey Ladies,

Hope everyone is fine. Just stopping in to let you guys know I am still here. I have been working alot of over time and I am tired as Heck. My birthday is Monday, November 24, go me. I don't know what I will do as of now. Well I'm out for a minuter. Will check in later.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #66 on: November 22, 2008, 08:18:43 AM »
Morning ladies,

Thanks, Wendy.  I really feel fortunate my brain cells aren't completely depleted considering everything I put in my body in the past.

Andrea, that feast sounds really good.  I've never "made" cranberry sauce; could you tell me exactly how to do that?  I'd like to make it sometime.   I hope you have a restful weekend.

Keeping, well happy birthday!  I hope you do something nice for yourself. 

We got more snow on and off yesterday.  So, a total of like 7 or 8 inches.  Yuck.  And last night the temp was only 9F.  Monday we're supposed to get more snow, then by Thanksgiving it's supposed to be 47F (at least that's what they're predicting right now).  I can't believe we're getting this much snow so early in the season.  I hope this is no preview of what December's going to be like. 

I'm going to take my best friend out to eat today (when she gets off work) for her 20th year clean date.  I told her to pick the restaurant.  Other than that, I have no spectacular plans.  You ladies have a good, safe day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #67 on: November 22, 2008, 09:03:27 AM »
The cranberry sauce is really easy.

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
Boil
Add 1 12oz package of whole fresh cranberries and bring back to a boil

Basically you boil unitl they burst and then you mash them. When you let it set it will thinken up.

The recipie is on the back of the package. Most of the kids like it.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #68 on: November 22, 2008, 09:14:42 AM »
Andrea, do you drain the cranberries before you mash them, or do you mash them, the water and the sugar all together?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #69 on: November 22, 2008, 11:39:26 AM »
I've always done it without draining but I suppose you could drain off some of the liquid.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #70 on: November 22, 2008, 01:19:29 PM »
hi ladies,

its snowing here as well.

Happy Birthday Keeping
! hope this year brings you everything you want in all areas

Andrea is sounds so delicious! yum

Betty, you are amazing both as a person and as a testimony to the incredible rejovinating powers of the human mind and body. I dont think people realize how dangerous prescription drugs can be. They did a similar number on me, as I once wrote you, though not to that extreme (still it was pretty extreme and took a large chunk of a very important time of my life). I wasnt taking as many, not even close, but way too much. I also got (some) of them prescribed. I cant beleive that doctor prescribed all that for you. Good grief.

I hate these flashbacks from the past. It seems the happier I am the more they show up. If I am not anxious about the future, I lament the past - and I have an awful lot to lament. Like you I also feel that I got away with a lot and I am lucky to even be here. Yet the risks I took and the life I led look timid, in comparison, but they weren't at all, so I am even more aware that going down that route is like falling down a hole, you never know when it will end. I am just so thankful those days are over for me, you and everyone who got out of there. I wish I didnt have all those memories that make me cringe, but there you go.

--warning: if you are easily grossed out do not read the next paragraph---

speaking of, I think I mentioned here once that I opened the door to go to work one day and there was a woman shooting up on the landing. well often I come home and there is a smell of urine there too, but today we couldnt beleive it, someone actually left a shit on the stairs! to make it even worse, some poor sod had already stepped in it.
I dont live in a rough area at all but I do spot addicts and dealers around quite often.
nasty stuff. thankfully one of the neighbours cleaned it. I would have not been able to (I did use to clean hotel rooms a while back and toilets as part of that job, but this is different).

ugh, hope no one is having dinner while reading this.

and now that I wrote this I remember that once I did a similar thing, well not quite as bad but peed next to someone's door. From what you know of me already do I sound like someone who would do that? just goes to show I guess.

----end of gross bit---

as for the leak, it doesnt come from a toilet but from the external wall of the neighbours upstairs. my estate agency's sent people to fix it, and they did try, its just the whole thing is really bad and old, so the repairs have not solved it. I think the building has been neglacted for so long they would have to reinsulate the whole wall, but of course the owner (not the angency) will not do that. They can install central heating while they're at it, its bloody cold here.

Ladies I am rambiling. Have a nice evening and lots of love then

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #71 on: November 22, 2008, 04:51:31 PM »
Still here but I think my internet will be off on Monday. Also before I forget, Happy Bday, Keeping and Belated Bday to Cindy. Nothing really going on with me, I'm just in a kind of funk so that is why I really haven't been replying to anyone. Not gonna get into it here but if you want to know why, you can check out my blog.

I have been sleeping a lot and staying up late. Did I mention I haven't smoked a cig in about 3 days. Not that I am trying to quit, I just don't have the money to get any. Ain't that a trip. And I am noticing that I am eating more too, not crazy about that part.

Sexy came over the other day which was a nice surprise. He's allergic to my cat and doesn't have a car so the visit was really unexpected. Other than that, not much else to report.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #72 on: November 22, 2008, 05:19:49 PM »
Evening ladies,

Drag, I've peed in some strange places as well.  That is pretty gross that someone would take a shit on the stairs.  Yuck.  Maybe someone should buy a baby toilet and set it out there.    If I wouldn't have been clean when my mum died, I never would have gotten clean.  I would've just died in that shithole nursing home.

Michelle, I put a comment in your blog.  Please, get yourself some help, even if that means going into a hospital for awhile. 

I took my best friend out to lunch today, then we went to this place called Bargain Books.  They have some books there for a dime.  I got a really cool dream interpretation calender for $4.00. 

Other than that, nothing else going on.  I need to call my granddaughter.  I was supposed to call her last night.  Oops.  You ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #73 on: November 22, 2008, 07:02:07 PM »
Ewwwwww Drag! That is totally disgusting!!! What a wonderful greeting. I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go...LOL!

Didn't do much today. I went to see my friend which is turning into a regular occurance. We pretty much get together every Saturday. I just wish we could get together without her little 4 year old. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her and she is not bratty at all it's just that we don't get much time to talk. It has to be in code and when she is distracted. Is that selfish?

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #74 on: November 22, 2008, 07:34:20 PM »
Happy Birthday to the birthday girls!

Its not selfish at all Andrea. We all want adult time sometimes. You sound like a fun teacher. I always liked the teachers that took time to teach things other than what was in the books.

Drag I can not imagine a human crapping on my porch, an animal maybe but for goodness sakes not a human. Peeing either. Do you not have allys or public restrooms?

I bought a dream dictionary many years ago Betty. It was fun if you could remember your dreams.

Take care of yourself Michelle.


Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #75 on: November 23, 2008, 10:51:06 AM »
Wendy, whoever cleaned it didnt do such a good job so husband is there poring buckets of hot water and bleach down the stairs.

Its still wierd to call him that but i cant call him my BF anymore. Its totally cliche but he is definately the better half.

Michelle, Im sorry youre so low. Its a shit when winter comes around and you have no car and no money. I hope things work out one day or another, like you wrote on your blog you have gotten thru worse. but yeah its hard to stay positive sometimes. hope letting it out make you feel a little better at least. and like Betty wrote if you feel you need help, please get it because it is out there.

Betty to write dreams you need a notebook by the bed and record them immediatly. I have wierd dreams - but nothing like those sustiva dreams, those were more intense and tiring than life. i actually would wake up exahusted from all those dreams, and they ruined my teeth cos i was gritting them all the time.

Andrea if I ever have a kid I hope they have a teacher like you. My old schoolteachers didnt give a shit, and knowing how they had to work I cant blame them either. It took me a week or so to become disillusioned with school after I started it. Kids are so sensitive, even the ones that look tough, and its so hard to take care of all of them at once. I mean pay attention to them. You do it with so much motivation though which is the most important thing.

I actually think there should be two teachers, one for discipline and paying attention to individual kids the other for teaching the material. Maybe its like that in some countries, but I just know the reality of one teacher to 40 kids. With families getting so much less authoritarian teachers really have their work cut out for them.

Rambling again...
Wishing everyone a good week.

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #76 on: November 23, 2008, 12:17:21 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Andrea, it's not selfish to want some adult time.  Especially when you're around kids all the time doing your job.  I would maybe try to suggest going somewhere and seeing if she could get a babysitter. 

Drag, I'm not going to try to get someone to interpret my dreams; I just bought a dream interpretation calendar because it's got some interesting pictures.  I have very strange dreams from the Chantix.  They don't bother me like they used to though; not too much.  I hope your hubby can get that shit off the stairs. 

In about an hour, I'm going to pick up my granddaughter and take her to see that movie "Bolt."  I promised her last weekend I would take her to another movie, and I always try to make good on my promises to my grandkids.  Then, I'm going to take her out to eat somewhere.  I'm thinking about this Italian place, as long as they're open.  Then tonight, my brother is supposed to come over for more of "The Wire."

That's going to be my day in a nutshell.  I hope everyone has a good weekend.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #77 on: November 23, 2008, 01:13:41 PM »
Good morning.

Drag- YUCK! Hopefully all the smell is gone! It sounds like you're getting used to being the "wife". I think I would have a difficult time getting used to having someone around all the time. I love the idea of taking care of someone and being that "help mate" but I definitely like my alone time.

BT- I totally want to see that movie! That hamster in the ball is too funny. I'm going to see if my partner teacher wants to see it. They are making a movie based on a book I read to the kids every year, "The Tale of Desperuax" and I am looking forward to seeing that.

Wendy- How's it going?

Well, I think today I will finish my laundry and work on my lesson plans. Drag, I totally get what you are saying about having one teacher for discipline and another for teaching. People never think about the amount of time that is spent working on management and discipline. The general public likes to criticize teachers for "not teaching" but they are not realizing that there is more to it. In middle school and high school they have a principal and a vice principal. The VP is usually for discipline. Believe me, there are days when I think the kids must think I am a total bitch. I wish that everyone could have an opportunity to spend 1 week in a classroom with 30+ kids and see what happens. I totally LOVE it though!

Ok...enough...have a good day everyone!!! ;D ;D ;D

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #78 on: November 23, 2008, 04:37:58 PM »
I had a good day. Billy and I went to Half price books to sell a box of books we have already read and looked at some they had but we did not find any we wanted today.
We left there and went to get some take out italian food. We ate it at home while watching a rented DVD of Journey to the center of the earth. It was a cute movie.
I returned the movies and went to the store to order a turkey for Thanksgiving and just now returned.
So far that was my day in a nutshell.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #79 on: November 24, 2008, 02:06:52 AM »
Morning ladies,

I have a massage scheduled for 8:20 so am up early (for me that is), its freezing but we just bought one of these airblowers, what an improvement that is. It feels good to be ready before 8 oclock. I think Im going to do that more.

I had a good weekend, it wasnt all about leaks and dirty stairs.
We have a great library here with all the new english books, it costs 1/2 euro to rent a book for 2 weeks, so i stopped buying unless its a must-have. some books I read more than once but they are exceptions. has anyone here read TC Boyle? i love his style of writing. Most of my fave authors are American, but recently I read a really chilling thriller by an English lady, its called The point of rescue, buy Sophie Hannah. Its a real pageturner. Now Im reading some Irish chicklit book, its called Remind me again why I need a man. All these kind of books are the same, its like one person wrote them, but its an easy read.

Yesterday I jogged for over an hour, my shoes are old so my knees hurt now. I am lazy most of the time but once in a while, I feel like a dog being let out to play. It was cold, had to wear a scarf and gloves.

This week, I have eye check tomorrow b/c the GP is ahraid I have too much pressure in one of my eyes, hope its wrong. Ive been having pain for a few weeks and drops dont help. He did the impossible and got me scheduled within a few days - in the netherlands this is paralle to being driven to the hospital in an ambulance with a sirene and flashing lights, seriously, specialists take months to schedule.
I think I like this new doc (I left the old one).

Then Thus I have ultrasound. I have to go to the hospital every other day this month, even weekends, for fertility checks.

I think  my months devide roughly in 1/2 - the good 1/2 is starting now, after my period ends. After ovulation, begins the slow descent into madness. Of course I am only aware of how "mad" I was once its all over again. I dont do anything crazy but think irrationally. I sometimes think if men really knew how women think they would never hire us. Not that we need them to hire us - I mean we do but we can also hire us. I read an interview with a uni professor who in middle age turned from man to woman, and she said the state of mind pre- and post-hormones is completely different. As a man she could easily seperate emotion from thought, as a woman it was impossible.
Anyone else have that?
I think Im going into early menonpause. Of course I will know more at the end of the month.

We have lots of new users on the women's but not many visitors here, I wonder why. Perhaps they do not care for long random posts  ;D

Have a great week ladies, if I havent said that yet. Love ya

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #80 on: November 24, 2008, 08:50:40 AM »
Morning ladies,

Andrea, the movie was very cute.  My granddaughter wants to see that Desperuax movie you mentioned.  It'll be out Dec. 12th here.  There's another one she wants to see, I think it's called Bedtime Stories with Jim Carry, that'll be out around Christmas.       I couldn't do what you do and be a whole day in a classroom of children.  It would drive me insane.  I'm glad you like your job; we need good teachers.

Wendy, what do you mean you ordered a turkey?  A live one they're going to kill and you cook?  Or a turkey dinner?

Drag, in my Forensic Psych class, we looked at a couple charts concerning the difference between males' hormones and females'.  The males' hormonal lines were straight.  The females' were all over the place.  Even though I'm on Depo, so I really don't have periods anymore, I still get the crazy hormonal imbalance every month when my period would be due. 

I just read a book called "Whisper of Fear."  It only took me about a week to read.  It is written by Rhonda Saunders, who is the female prosecutor that wrote (and rewrote) the stalking laws in California.  She also has been to several foreign countries to help them write their stalking laws.  It's an extremely good book, full of interesting stories.   My best friend had a stalker that did some pretty crazy things.  He went to her job and put letters about her on peoples' doors, went to her house and poured ketchup in her daughter's car, things like that.  The closest thing I can come to a stalker is when I threw my first husband out for the last time (many years ago) and he called me all night long, making threats like "I'm going to burn the house down, kill you and take our daughter."  It frightened me, 'cause at the time he was drunk and I knew he was quite capable of carrying out his threats.  Luckily they never materialized. 

Today I'm not quite sure yet what I'm going to do.  I need to do some shopping, also address Christmas cards, also return books, and look for a car.  I'll probably start my search for a car, since I told the girl who has mine I would be over by the weekend to sign the title over to her, pick up my plate etc.  I called her and told her that Saturday and she was shocked.  I'm a strong advocate of "paying it foward."  I think if someone's shown you a great kindness, you should repay it to someone else that needs something.  And I've been shown tons of kindness these past few years. 

That's it for me.  I'll probably be back later.  You all have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #81 on: November 24, 2008, 12:00:03 PM »
LOL Betty
I ordered a precooked turkey. I cooked a small one this weekend and cut it up and froze it. I decided that it was not enough meat for the amount of people I am expecting at my home so instead of cooking another I just ordered one from the grocery store. Less work for me.

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #82 on: November 24, 2008, 10:55:11 PM »
Keeping- I hope you had a nice birthday!  How are things going with you?

BT- That books sound good.  You have to look for a car?  I thought you has your friends, no?

Queen- Do you think you might have the "winter blues" or whatever they call it?  I will have been a member for a year in January and you were MIA for awhile when I joined.  I hope you can keep your head up and get through it.  I think you have my snail mail if you ever want to write to each other off the puter.

Drag- Good googley moogley, you jogged for an hour?? I would be dead!  I would love to start running again.  Good luck with your fertility, maybe you can join me as a mulitple mama :)

Viv- I am glad you made it throught the fires ok.  You must be looking forward to vacation.  How have you been feeling?

Win- That is nice you can order a turkey already made.  Has Billy fully recovered?

Ten- I think we need to change Mugabe's name to Muga-been, maybe that would help to get him out the door faster.  I really can't fathom how you do it.  I hope things get better soon.

Someone asked about Mum- Minis mum- she is alive and well- and hopes to be back after the new year.

It's official. I am a complete idiot, an exhausted one at that.  My son's teachers b-day was last week and we were going to make her and the class cupcakes, well she asked if we could do them for tomorrow.  OK, fine.  So then, I decide that I can't just bring cupcakes for his class, I should ask the other 3 little ones classes if they want cupcakes too.  Of course, they do.  Tonight I baked, frosted, and sprinkled over 100 cupcakes. It only took a couple of hours but I thought I was going to pass out by the time I was done.  Viv- I really don't know how you deal with a class full of kids, 4 makes me crazy.
I had a cyst removed from my scalp last week, so my head has been killing me.  I have been having booming stress headaches thinking about my oldest sons father and his bullshit. I was beginning to think something was wrong with my head but I went through this when he brought me back to court the last time.  I was looking on line today to find out about hypnotism and this one sight I found was pretty funny, you can get hypnotised for all the things you hear about like losing weight,stopping smoking, etc along with learning how to play the piano, stinky feet, all kinds of wierd ones.  Like you guys were talking about earlier, women and their emotions, I need to be able to control mine especially when I get frustrated, I totally forget what I am thinking about or what my point was when I get that way.

Well I hope everyone is doing well and has a Happy Thanksgiving!
Snow


Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #83 on: November 25, 2008, 08:23:05 AM »
Snow- I am sorry that you are going through all that stress with the ex. What a pain! I know I tend to get all wrapped up in my head about issues and that definitely causes stress! I can't believe you made all those cupcakes! Parents aren't allowed to bring anything that is "homemade". If they bring something it has to be store bought. Sometimes I wonder how I handle it and think I must be a little crazy...LOL!

BT- Christmas cards! Every year I tell myself I should send them out and I never quite get around to it...so bad! Have fun looking for a car!

Drag- Wow! You are disciplined! I would have passed out after the first 5 minutes!

Wendy- How many people are coming over?

Well I am very happy today! It is like a Friday. We have off Wed-Fri. Today we have an assembly and for some CRAZY reason I volunteered to be part of the skit. I NEVER do that! I hate getting up in front of people. I don't mind being in front of the kids, but everyone???? I am shocked that I did it! I am sure I will be nervous this morning...so silly! Ahhhh the things I do for these kids!

Rain is supposed to come out way soon. We need it but they are worried about landslides in the recently burned areas. I feel so bad for those people who were just evacuated for the fires and may have to evacuate again because of rain.

Hope you have a good day ladies!  ;D ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #84 on: November 25, 2008, 09:05:13 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wendy, are you having a lot of people for Thanksgiving? 

Snow, it's good to hear from you.  You don't check in often enough.  Has SB been up to shannanigans lately?  I haven't heard you mention him for awhile.  I hope your head heals alright.  I do have my friend's car, but she's going to want it back at some point for her son.  And I'm giving my car to another friend.

Andrea, you'll do alright in that skit.  Why can't the kids bring in anything homemade?  Is the school afraid of poison and/or drugs?  So many things changed after 911. 

Still looking for a car.  The little ones really go fast.  I hope I can have one by next week, all legal etc.   We got more snow here last night.  About 2 inches, but it's freezing outside, and we're having more snow today (right now, in fact).  The wind is howling.  I do not like weather like this at all.  I guess I better get used to it; it's how the next four months will be (hopefully only four months). 

Today I have to go to the ASO here for a review and I have to go to my doc's office to pick up lab slips.  I'm not sure what other trouble I'll get into today.  Probably nothing, with the weather. 

Thursday I'm going to my oldest sister's house.  My brother and his girlfriend are going to St. Louis to see her mother.  My brother won't have anything to do with my two sisters anyway.  When my parents died, well, let's just say death brings out the best or the worst in people, and unfortunately, in my family, it brought out the worst.  I don't think it will ever be remedied either.     Anyway, that's a whole other story that I really don't want to get into.  I hope you ladies all have a nice day.  Send warm wishes this way and maybe my weather will change. ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #85 on: November 25, 2008, 12:41:24 PM »
hello all,

hope your well, I havent had a chance to read through everyones messages though sorry.

Im having a day where I need you girls, went for second lot of bloods its been 4 months since diagnosis.
The first lot of blood tests, I was so stressed and upset that my veins kept colapsing and they only managed to get VL and CD4.

well went today and although I felt like shite, I tried to stay calm and thought I was doing ok, however 4 needles later and still no blood due to vein colapse. I was in tears and in pain and now full of bruises and I have to go back next week for another try at it. I do have overly sensitive skin to pain and my doc thinks coupled with the panic is why she cant get any blood, she has given me some numbing cream to put on 2 hours before next weeks appointment to take the pain element away in the hopes this helps my panic side too.

I dont know what the hell is going to happen if they cant get any next time.

hope you dont mind my sporadic posting, I dont get on here as much as I possibly should.
Daisyx

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #86 on: November 25, 2008, 01:18:19 PM »
Hey Ladies,

How's it going. I had a wondeful birthday. Thank you all that wished me Happy birhday. I got quite a few gifts and some money. I am love. (LOL)

Snow- its good to hear from you. I just messenged you on facebook. I hope you feel better.

Stopping in to say hello to everyone. BT, Queen, Win, Viv, Ten, Drag and everyone I forgot.

Im at work so I will probably check back in Later.

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #87 on: November 25, 2008, 01:30:34 PM »
There will be 10 definately and possibly 2 more for Thanksgiving. A couple of them will be small frys and a several are heavy eaters.
There where several years in my life when I was a kid where I went for days at a time with nothing to eat so I have a tendancy to make a lot of food. I shop for food like some women shop for clothing. LOL

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #88 on: November 25, 2008, 09:12:46 PM »
Hello everyone!

The skit went well today. The kids thought it was funny that my character's name was "Mr. Rabbit" and I'm not a boy. Sometimes the things they focus on make me laugh.

Betty, homecooked food is not allowed simply because cleanliness cannot be accounted for. Not everybody pays attention to basic food rules. I suppose also it has something to do with poisin and stuff. The store bought rule was in place before 9/11.

Not much going on. Talk to you all later!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #89 on: November 25, 2008, 09:27:43 PM »
Well Snow, last year when I checked myself into the hospital, it was because of man issues. Now it's not about a man or relationship. It about trying to do the right thing, better myself and being told, "Sorry, we can't help you because_(put lame excuse here)__________________". My car is down because the catalytic converter was ripped totally out along with the muffler, money I don't have to try to fix it. The parts for it cost over 100 bucks and the labor another 150. That's from the guy who has been working on it. I called a few garages but they will not let me buy the parts and pay them for the labor. The cost for it from them, 530 bucks. And the icing on the cake, the freaking holidays which I usually spend with my Dad who is now gone. The one person who supported me and had my back no matter what. At this point I feel very alone and very frustrated. I have spoken to my case manager at my ASO about it all and she is scared for me. She wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused. She wanted me to talk to someone in crisis but I refused. I just feel like none of these people could possibly help me because more than likely none of them know what it is like to struggle the way I do.

 And on top of that my primary doctor dropped me because I came to an appointment smelling like weed. Now I have been seeing him for over 5 years and never came smelling like weed. And on this day, I was not smoking because I had the appointment but the people who gave me the ride was. So when I walked in his office, I guess the smell was overpowering. What pissed me off about the situation was that he would not even look me in the eye when talking or give me the chance to explain. He instead came to the conclusion that I had to be smoking because I was honest in the past and told him that I smoke. But I guess that's what I get for being honest. When my ride picked me up, which I had stood outside in the snow and sleet, I was froze to the bone. But I told them what happened. I hope he didn't charge me for the visit because he didn't do anything, just told me he would give me time to find another doctor.

At this point, I just feel like why the hell am I even living? What's the point? Just to struggle day to day? I'll just be glad when the holidays is over with and when something will finally go my way. I don't think I am asking much to try to better myself by trying to get into school. And I think what my primary doctor did was harsh to say the least. So, I am feeling disgusted and fed up.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #90 on: November 25, 2008, 10:17:23 PM »
Queen, I am sorry you are going through all of this. It sucks when you hit a rough patch. Can I ask why you don't want to see or talk to anyone that may be able to help?

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #91 on: November 26, 2008, 02:36:22 AM »
I don't want to see or talk to anyone because I don't feel it would do me any good. And last year when I did talk to a therapist, he said I didn't need to go on any medication that my problems were more financial than anything. And the doctor in the hospital told me that I am pretty much going to be lonely because people are terrified of people with HIV and it something I need to deal with. I think that ass got his degree out of a Cracker Jack box. So, I don't really see the point. Also unless they struggle like I do, I don't see how they could be any help. And it seems like I hit more rough patches than the average person and I don't understand why.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #92 on: November 26, 2008, 05:53:32 AM »
hie ladies. i meant to post this yesterday but stupid computer kept freezing, fortunately i'd copied and pasted. we got high-speed internet installed today yahoo! let the abuse begin...

Keeping - Happy Birthday! hope it was a great day

drag - eewww! i wonder what goes on in a persons mind as they are pooping on the stairs. can understand maybe if it was diarrhoea, but still.. eeeeewwww! and that is why i have utmost respect for nurses and caregivers. so how did the eye exam go?

michelle - hang in there. that doctor's an ass for sure. bedside manner needs work.  sending you a big ((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))

betty - pay it forward is such a noble idea. watched a movie about this boy (Haley osmet i think) who started that trend.  i have a friend who wanted to buy a new bed for their house and her husband was like,  "the bed we have is good enoough, we should use that money to help other people who dont even have blankets or a place to sleep on".

snow - Mugabeen! lol girl. too funny.  we're hoping (but not holding our breath) for a breakthru today as Mugabeen and tsvangirai etc meet yet again in south africa to talk and talk while people suffer.  if theres any justice in this world, that man is going to get his. but i kind of doubt that coz he's 85 and going strong, the devil looks after his own i guess. as for how we make it, i sometimes wonder myself. we just say as long as you get to eat that day and have a roof over your head, u can make it thru the day and tomorrow is another day. its actally amazing we've made it this far, by all rights we should be in a far deeper state of chaos than we actually are (or we are but dont realise). guess our survival instinct is really strong...
those couple of hours you spent baking is well worth it, seeing how pleased your kids are when they see the cupcakes and take them to school.  fortunately i suck at baking so i guess i'll never be in that position :)
i read a book that linked just about everything to satanism.  said hypnosis opens doorways for demons to operate in you. same for things like acupuncture, yoga, meditating, astrology, tarot cards,rock music,  nothing much was safe according to them.  good luck with it though, but sometimes i think we lack the gene or whatever that enables a person to control their emotions :)

i got my hair braided, took THREE DAYS and i will never do it again, never never ever. my boss's daughter gave me the hair extensions, wasnt that nice of her? the sitting almost had me in tears,  i was grounded the whole weekend couldnt do anything in the end. not that i could have anyway with transport so expensive now.  and the stupid braids are dropping off one by one, i'll be back to looking like a boy before the week is up if it continues :)
my shoulders and arms are aching now from carrying water on sunday. i totaly cant do the whole carry 20kg on your head thing, i'd drop the whole load for sure. they cut off water supply coz of the rain washing cholera into the water system or something, so we're using a neighbours borehole. or rainwater. thank God at least its raining.

i go now, before its another long post :)   later!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #93 on: November 26, 2008, 09:03:58 AM »
Morning ladies,

Daisy, you need to relax as much as possible before your blooddraw, or you may not know your numbers 'cause they won't be able to draw the blood.  Try deep breathing, visualization etc.

Keeping, I'm glad you had a good birthday.

Wendy, I didn't know you went without food when you were a kid.  Why was that, if you don't mind answering?  If you do (mind), I understand.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Andrea, the cleanliness thing makes sense.  I was just thinking back to when I was in grade school, everyone's mums made homemade things.  Store-bought stuff was not even thought about.  Of course, that was a much different time.  Glad the skit went well.

Queen, I am so sorry about your doctor.  Sounds like he jumped the gun and didn't give you the chance to explain.  Ask your case manager at the ASO about another doc.  And the doctor in the hospital sounds like a real jackass.  I've thought before about therapists not being able to help me because they couldn't understand what I went through (especially the sexual abuse stuff).  But, they're trained to help people in whatever circumstance they're in, and might be able to hook people up with local resources.  I'm not trying to tell you what to do, please don't think that.  I just don't want anything to happen to you.  I guess I'm trying to talk you into getting help so nothing does happen to you.  We couldn't do without our Queen around here.  If the one therapist you saw didn't help you, try another one.  I've been through many therapists before I found the one that fit.  And even if the hospital wasn't a huge help, it's a safeguard that can protect you while you're feeling so desperate.  Please don't do anything rash.  People do care.    Oh, and before when I mentioned the student loans possibly being forgiven, I've had some forgiven in the past.  The ones I had forgiven were acquired before I had the HIV diagnosis.  So, if you got yours before you went on disability, they can be forgiven.  However, if you got them after you went on disability, then they can't.  You might want to contact the student loan company and tell them you want a defferrment.  That's where you "put them off" for a few years.  You can get a defferrment due to hardship (financial hardship).  Try that.  Please hang in there.  I sent you my phone number quite awhile back.  I don't know if you still have it, but if you do and want to talk, give me a call.  I know you told me before you don't like to talk on the phone because of your hearing, but if you do, I'm here.  I understand about you missing your father.  This is the first holiday season for me without either of my parents, and I miss them terribly.  My mum used to have my back like you say your dad did.

Tendai, three days to put in braids?  Holy crap.  I wouldn't have been able to sit still that long.  I have to color my hair today (which takes a couple hours) and I'm not looking forward to that.  No wonder you were in tears.  And they're falling out?! 

Nothing much going on today.  I'm having lunch with my best gay friend.  He's going to look after my kitty for me when I go to Arizona next month, so I'm taking him out to lunch as a thank-you.   Other than that, I don't have a lot planned.  Like I told Tendai, I'm going to do my roots this morning, which I always dread.  It really isn't that bad, but I just hate spending extra time on my hair.  Saturday I'm actually going to get it cut by a professional (hee).  I usually trim it myself, but twice a year I treat myself.    You ladies have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #94 on: November 26, 2008, 10:28:43 AM »
Wendy, I didn't know you went without food when you were a kid.  Why was that, if you don't mind answering?  If you do (mind), I understand.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.

From about the age of 8 until I was 13 or 14 "cant remember which" my mother was either in a bottle, high, not home or all of the above. My parents had divorced and my father lived several hours away. He was in the military. I saw him a few times a year.

Billy asked me why I never called my Dad to tell him what was happening. I didn't really have an answer. I suppose he knew what my living conditions where. He certainly saw the mess I was living in when he came to see me and he made me and my brother clean house when he came.
I may have not even knew how to call him either than or I didn't think it would do any good.
I've blocked alot of my memory so I honestly don't know.  I do recall starting my period at 14 and having to dig for change and walk to the store and buy my own napkins because no one was there to help me or reassure me that I was ok.  Thank goodness I didn't start my period when I was younger at least at 14 I had an idea of what was happening.

I haven't told many people about that part of my life. But I do remember nights trying to go to sleep where my stomach felt as if it would eat itself or turn inside out from hunger.

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #95 on: November 26, 2008, 01:46:44 PM »

Preparations for tomorrows dinner has begun and now my kitchen is a mess. LOL

Just taking a small break from chopping, dicing, stirring, and mixing to say hey to you all.
 ;D

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #96 on: November 26, 2008, 02:34:55 PM »
Hey Tendai!

BT- Enjoy your lunch.  :)

Wendy- That must have been hard to deal with. I always say you never know what is going in people's private lives. There are many things that I too have gone through that just totally suck. I wish things could've been different but all of those experiences have made me who I am today and I really wouldn't change that. Sometimes life sucks but we're here and we have to make the most of it. On a different note...Are you making everything? I am making green bean casserole, stuffing, and pumpkin brownies. For the first time I am making completely homemade stuffing with cornbread. We shall see...

I am waiting for my clothes to finish in the dryer and then I have to pick up my prescription. My mom is in town at my Nana's and I am trying to decide if I want to drive over there to visit. It is raining here off and on.

Betty, are you doing anything for Thanksgiving? I know your parents are not around which must be hard for you.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #97 on: November 26, 2008, 05:42:46 PM »
Evening ladies,

Wendy, I get teary when I hear stories like that.  I'm glad you're doing alright.    Whatever it is you're making, it sounds good.  I see the turkey.  And what's that in the aluminum pan?

Andrea, I'm going to my oldest sister's tomorrow.  It'll be me, her, my brother-in-law and my nephew.  My niece and grandniece were supposed to be there also, but my grandniece has the flu. 

Yeah, we've all been through things in our lives.  Would I have it any different?  In some ways, yes, and in some ways no.  I think I can read people pretty good; on the other hand, I tend to be overly-suspicious of people, especially ones I don't know well.  I actually do things for my daughter today that matter; on the other hand, there were years of damage done to her.  I was there to take care of my parents; on the other hand, there were years I took advantage of them.  What I've been through makes me want to help people, instead of taking jobs based on the pay.  Which is o.k.  I'd rather help someone and get paid little than to not help anyone and get paid lots.  People (and animals, because I love my cat ;D) matter more than money.  I know that today; I didn't know it so much in the past. 

Today was alright.  My friend and I went out to eat.  Then we went to Target because he had to get an airbed and I had to get my brother-in-law a birthday card.  Then we came back here for a couple minutes.  I did get my roots done, thanks heavens.  Tomorrow, as mentioned, I'm going to my sister's and brother's-in-law.  I'm hungry now.  Anyway, you ladies have a good night. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #98 on: November 26, 2008, 10:20:29 PM »
I don't dwell on the past and rarely think about it but I know it shaped who I am and not to be patting myself on the back but I think I'm not half bad. LOL

The aluminum pan has cornbread dressing in it. I am making everything except some broccoli salad my sister in law says is absolutely delish. I likely wont eat it. (picky eater)

I am making turkey, ham, dressing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean casserole, broccoli rice casserole, giblet gravy, deviled eggs, mac n cheese, corn, cranberry relish, dinner rolls, pumpkin pie, peach cobbler and chocolate pie. 

I dont think I forgot anything.

I spent the day getting most of this either made or ready to pop in the oven. I ran out of room in my fridge so I still need to make the cobbler and green bean casserole. everything else just needs to be reheated or finished cooking in the oven. Its too bad I don't have another fridge in the garage. But I'm thankful for what I've got.  ;D


Offline netta

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Re: Ladies Thread Part 49- "YES WE CAN" Be happy, Be strong, Be Proud!!
« Reply #99 on: November 26, 2008, 11:00:15 PM »
just want to wish you  all a happy thanksgiving! we had another death in the familly, a close friend of mine and cuz to my sister, son got shot last monday. sitting in front of his home, in a friends car, they were after  the other guy. this young man was only 18 and just graduated high school., His dad called me crying,said his only son died in his arms. My sister is a basket case  and on prozac since the death of my nephew last month, now this.
I had to takea break, now I am back, love you all, take care. Oh my mom is here driving me crazy!!! lol, she is 77. I am cooking for 25!!!
"to thine own self be true"

 


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