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Author Topic: How very selfish of me?!  (Read 3767 times)

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Offline nick2046

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  • Posts: 35
How very selfish of me?!
« on: November 06, 2008, 11:04:06 AM »
I'm HIV+ for >6 years & I've been to the dentist just once for routine check up a few years ago.  I never told the dentist i was +ve because it was just a routine checkup.

Reason i'm unwilling to go to a special clinic for ppl with 'special needs' is that i don't want to be treated differently.  It feels like having 'Caution: HIV +' tattooed on my forehead; besides, they wear gloves anyway.

I further reason with myself that since i'm on medication & my virus load is undetectable, i'm relatively safer.  It's the same with my physiotherapists, etc.  I told them i had a stroke, i just don't like if they look @ me 'funny'; & they do. Actually, that's what i told my siblings too...  Yes, i'm beginning to believe that myself; it's easier to swallow.  The truth is oo hard & cold; it's my self protection mechanism.

Can anyone here give me an opinion pls?  TIA.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2008, 11:57:29 AM by nick2046 »
And so it has been, and so it is written
    On the doorway to paradise
    That those who falter and those who fall
    Must pay the price

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2008, 11:36:11 AM »
Nick,

The reason you should disclose to your dentist is for YOUR benefit, not the doctor's. S/he needs to know so s/he can be on the look out for oral health problems associated with hiv. S/he should be using universal precautions with EVERY patient, so that's not the issue here.

So no, you're not being selfish, a little foolhardy perhaps, but not selfish.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline BT65

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2008, 12:08:24 PM »
Nick,

Ann's right about the dentist.  And the same holds true for all your other doctors/therapists.  They need to watch for certain things that go along with HIV/advanced HIV.

As far as not being honest about the HIV, I'm wondering what the real reason is.  Fear of rejection?  Not being able to be honest with yourself?  I think maybe you should get with a good therapist to discuss all your feelings around being HIV+.  Really, it will be a weight lifted off your shoulders when you can finally get honest and be accepting with yourself and your body.

Good luck and keep us posted.
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline leatherman

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2008, 12:16:21 PM »
the only people that I believe you should be completely honest with are your doctors. ;)

Without knowing enough about your health issues (including things like illegal drug usage, cigarette smoking, liquor, and a thousand other less controversial issues) you risk getting improper care. That could lead to, at best, un-improved health, and at worse, death from the wrong treatment being prescibed. There are already lots of medical privacy laws in place; but even if a doctor was to break those, isn't your health more important?
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline mewithu

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2008, 05:33:27 PM »
All of your Doctor's and health care providers should know your status. It is really your duty to tell them for your 's and their sakes.
Not trying to be a butt here but it is for your and their safety. Not only from catching your HIV but they can be more careful with what they prescribe you.

Much Care dude, Jerry
1997 is when I found out, being deathly ill. I had to go to the hospital due to extreme headache and fever. I fell coma like,  two months later weighing 95 pounds and in extreme pain and awoke to knowledge of Pancreatis, Cryptococcal Meningitis, Thrush,Severe Diarea,  Wasting, PCP pneumonia. No eating, only through tpn. Very sick, I was lucky I had good insurance with the company I worked for. I was in the hospital for three months that time. 
(2010 Now doing OK cd4=210  VL= < 75)
I have become resistant to many nukes and non nukes, Now on Reyataz, , Combivir. Working well for me not too many side effects.  I have the wasting syndrome, Fatigue  . Hard to deal with but believe it or not I have been through worse. Three Pulmonary Embolism's in my life. 2012 520 t's <20 V load

Offline ARMANDO

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2008, 06:50:34 PM »
i know exactly what you are talking about.the last time i went to a dentist ,i did tell them that i was hiv+.when they began the procedure ,the entire staff were wearing bascially welders' mask!!! i felt horrible and i nevr went back!!

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2008, 07:07:33 PM »
i know exactly what you are talking about.the last time i went to a dentist ,i did tell them that i was hiv+.when they began the procedure ,the entire staff were wearing bascially welders' mask!!! i felt horrible and i nevr went back!!

That'l show em.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline sharkdiver

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2008, 09:25:13 PM »
i know exactly what you are talking about.the last time i went to a dentist ,i did tell them that i was hiv+.when they began the procedure ,the entire staff were wearing bascially welders' mask!!! i felt horrible and i nevr went back!!

uh... they should be wearing shields as well as gloves. That is recommended for everyone, not just "special needs" patients.

Offline AndyArrow

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #8 on: November 07, 2008, 06:45:05 AM »
I recently had to have two teeth pulled and yes the dentist and his tech did look like they were ready for a welding job at a shipyard but they were very friendly and professional.  A lot of the precautions health care workers take are to prevent them from spreading their germs to you.

Also, since the dentist was aware of my status he prescribed a course of amoxicillin (along with some lovely vicodin) to avoid an possible infection.

It is in your own self interest to divulge your status to all your medical professionals.

AA
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline Moffie65

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2008, 10:06:25 AM »
I agree with all above statements of disclosure to your doctor.

My dentist doesn't wear a mask, but then he has been dealing with PLWHA for about 20 years, and is also the head of the Dental Board for Tucson.  He won't let any dentists be members of the board unless they are willing to treat those with HIV.  How different the world is depending on your outlook.

You just might find that your dentist that you feel so hesitant to disclose to, just might be your best friend in health care, and if not, there are plenty more to go to.

Please think about your hesitation to not disclose to those that are there to help you survive this disease, and dental is number one.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2008, 09:25:18 AM »
I told them i had a stroke, i just don't like if they look @ me 'funny'; & they do. Actually, that's what i told my siblings too...  Yes, i'm beginning to believe that myself; it's easier to swallow.  The truth is oo hard & cold; it's my self protection mechanism.

Can anyone here give me an opinion pls?  TIA.

Your discomfort with your own status appears to be the larger issue here. You may have been HIV+ for 6 years but it sounds like you really have not accepted it yet. Fantasizing that you are not HIV+ is not going to make living with HIV any easier. It is already compromising your healthcare- going years without a dental visit is not good.

Offline weasel

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Re: How very selfish of me?!
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2008, 03:59:53 PM »
I personally like to shock people , usually does NOT work  :(

My dentist in Saint Louis , seems NOT to take any  measures

I would ASSUME  they would , very odd  :o :o

I always  tell them I am HIV POS  cause It seems they forgot ?

 I would never NOT tell any doctor , I want the best care they can

give , and holding back that info is like  posing as another person .

Nothing can be gained from anyone if you are not yourself to them  :)
" Live and let Live "

 


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