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Author Topic: Asked to share my sexuality  (Read 1694 times)

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Offline Texan38

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  • Posts: 686
Asked to share my sexuality
« on: November 08, 2008, 12:20:00 AM »
There's a coworker who's working on getting her license in counseling and she had been talking about a 'sexuality class' she has been taking. From what she has told me, it sounds very interesting and she explained that one of their credits is to take someone they know to class and have a discussion about their life style or sexuality. She mentioned a classmate of hers is planning to take a female who makes a living as a stripper and how people are so quick to judge and criticise her.  Another had mentioned he has a male friend who used to be in a gang, had gone to jail, married when he got out, had children and just came out of the closet one year ago and is so much happier.  He's going to talk about how difficult it was to be gay and in a gang, being in jail, having a wife and children yet knowing he was always gay.
Then my coworker asked me if I would go to discuss me being gay. It stunned me. Then she asked me if my family knew about me, I told her yes since I was 19 but this has only been my second job where I have actually "come out" at a job because I wasn't comfortable for so many years. I had always 'played it straight' at work.  She said that was it!  She wanted me to tell me experience's as to why I wasn't comfortable being out at work; how difficult was it to 'be straight' at work and not be myself; when did I know I was gay; how was it for me during my school years; how did my family react when they found out.
I just smiled and told her since this is my second job where I'm barely starting to feel comfortable talking about my sexuality...the thought of talking in front of a class does not make me comfortable. She asked if it was the thought of talking in front of a class or talking about my sexuality. I said both. Talking about my sexuality in front of strangers just...no. She said she understood but would like for me to reconsider.
I don't think I can do it....I know I can't do it but it was nice of her to ask though.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,038
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2008, 12:50:07 AM »
I've spoken to classes, fraternities, etc. about being gay. My advice is to not do it unless you feel comfortable talking about your feelings, sex life and HIV status with strangers, not all of whom may be sympathetic. You may also be surprised at how little some people know about being gay even in this day and age. It can be rewarding. I've had people come up afterwards and thank me, others ask me out and others say that I need to get right with God.

Offline carousel

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Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2008, 05:45:51 AM »
I agree that if it is not the right time for you do this, you're probably right to decline.

On the other hand, it might be a starting point for you to be more open.  You might surprise yourself and find that it could be a worthwhile experience.  Sometimes, the worry of doing something is much worse than the actual event.

If they say something stupid, does it really matter to how you feel about yourself?  And you have a chance to put them straight, in a manner of speaking.  It may also benefit you, as it may give you a chance to articulate how you actually feel about being gay.

I hate public speaking, but after a time and you've done it a few times, it does get more easy. 

And you've get your co-worker there for support.

Maybe it is time for you to be more open?  You might actually enjoy it.

Offline Texan38

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Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2008, 08:05:06 AM »
It has crossed my mind that I could actually find this rewarding and bring some sort of self satisfactory to myself and I also understand that there are people out there who do not condone nor accept homosexuality and it was because of that unacceptance, I wouldn't allow myself to be who I am.  Maybe if I do discuss my feelings and discuss the difficulties one puts himself by going through life feeling that being gay is wrong, not only would I benefit from it but also - maybe - help others to understand the hurt, the fear, the loneliness, the burden that I put on myself for so many years just because I couldn't bring myself to just be me.  Hmmm....
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline Moffie65

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  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2008, 10:09:15 AM »
It has crossed my mind that I could actually find this rewarding and bring some sort of self satisfactory to myself and I also understand that there are people out there who do not condone nor accept homosexuality and it was because of that unacceptance, I wouldn't allow myself to be who I am.  Maybe if I do discuss my feelings and discuss the difficulties one puts himself by going through life feeling that being gay is wrong, not only would I benefit from it but also - maybe - help others to understand the hurt, the fear, the loneliness, the burden that I put on myself for so many years just because I couldn't bring myself to just be me.  Hmmm....

I was going to ask you to reconsider, and it is obvious you are.  For all the right reasons, I think you should do this.  If you need some help, just remember an old man in Arizona is roooooootin for you when you are speaking.  Take that encouragement and any other you can muster up and do this thing.  I tell you from experience that the "power" you will generate in your own spirit and the things you will learn from it will be priceless, and just remember; the man of your dreams might be in the audience and if you don't do it you will never meet him. 

One of the other things to remember is to take your power and present a subject that you are going to be the most informed and experienced person in the room about.  Nobody else in the room will have nearly the knowledge you are sharing and the amount of knowledge about both Homosexuality and HIV/AIDS may save a few lives out of the audience also. 

Please re-consider, because in Texas, this is certainly a rare opportunity. 

Just my feelings and experience.  :)
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Texan38

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  • Posts: 686
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2008, 08:25:58 PM »
Thanks guys!
I'm nervously, excitedly and anxiously thinking about reconsidering my decision.  Wow, thinking about it now, it's just like thinking about my first time I had sex - I was nervous, excited and anxious then when it happend I thought....that was it? It didn't make me scream in pain...I felt more uncomfortable but not in pain and that was because the guys I would see in porn made it seem like it hurt BAD and they looked like they were hurting, squeezing their eyes tightly and grunting loudly....it looked like it hurt!
I think that's how I should approach this....The experience is never as bad as it really is!  :D
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,038
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2008, 08:49:39 PM »
I'm excited for you! I hope it goes well.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2008, 10:40:11 PM »
Go for it lad!

Big encouraging hugs from someone who lets it all hang out,
Ann
xxx
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Texan38

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  • Posts: 686
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2008, 12:37:45 AM »
 ::)   :o    ;D    ;)   ;D 

 :-*   :-*
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2008, 05:37:05 AM »
You go girl......
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline bear60

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  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2008, 10:40:20 AM »
 about my first time I had sex - I was nervous, excited and anxious then when it happend I thought....that was it? It didn't make me scream in pain...I felt more uncomfortable but not in pain and that was because the guys I would see in porn made it seem like it hurt BAD and they looked like they were hurting, squeezing their eyes tightly and grunting loudly....it looked like it hurt!  ....quote you
..............................
Oh honey, talk about naive....when I was a new little queer there WAS NO PORN except some really bad 8 mm and I never even had seen porn when I had my first.  Porn came later for me....well bookstores to be exact. Ah the delicious odor of poppers and bodies and cum.
Well, whatever your decision .....GOOD LUCK.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 24,890
Re: Asked to share my sexuality
« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2008, 05:06:44 PM »
If you decide to do it, my suggestion is to keep it simple. Don't feel you have to tell everything about everything.

If you're ok with this, leave a bit of time for questions.

And HAVE FUN  fun with this. Enjoy yourself.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Salutations!
« Last Edit: November 09, 2008, 05:08:52 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

 


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