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Author Topic: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)  (Read 3097 times)

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Offline Erikflounder

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Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« on: November 03, 2008, 10:33:09 AM »
I stepped out of my marriage 13 days ago and got a blow job from a street hooker (deff high risk).  The act was covered for the most part but she started to blow me without the condom to get me hard for about 5-10 seconds.  I am super scared.  Although I have read numerous times on this bored that being the insertive partive partner carries no risk I am still scared.  There have been anecdotal reports of such things happening and a women on an HIV hotline said it deff does happen.  I dont know if I can make through the window period, plus I have read these anecdotal reports.....really scared



Offline RapidRod

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2008, 11:11:24 AM »
You were never at risk of contracting HIV in the situation you've provided.  As for the Hotline, most of those people know about as much about HIV as you do. NO RISK.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2008, 11:29:57 AM »
The woman on the hotline is wrong. Period. It's awful that she's giving out such misinformation.

I can only tell you again that in the entire history of the epidemic there has never been a confirmed case of HIV transmission to a guy via his getting a blowjob. And you are not going to make history by becoming the first.

If you allow your fears to run  you and you continue to searching the net for fuel to feed those fears, I can quarantee you that you'll find misinformation to scare you aplenty. All with no basis in HIV science of course, but scary nevertheless.

There's no need for you to test unless you can't let go of worrying. In that case, test at 13 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result. In my experience what this is really about is fear and anxiety because you strayed from your marriage. If there was a test for guilt you'd be through the roof on that one. Like many of us you're a dawg and you strayed. You can't change that bit of your history. But as far as HIV is concerned nothing you have reported put you at risk. Test only for peace of mind, not because there was any real risk.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Erikflounder

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #3 on: November 03, 2008, 12:11:43 PM »
I agree I am super guilty and the act is what is killing me, but apart from that I also realize that it would illogical for me to not ask the "what if questions".  Such as, what if she was bleeding from her gums? and what if there was some blood in her mouth?  wouldn't these be modes of transmission?

My doc suggested that I take a PCR test ( it is covered by my insurance) to ease my fears, I know I have to go and get an AB test in 13 weeks but do you think this maybe a good idea

Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2008, 12:15:53 PM »
No, having blood in her mouth would not change the level of risk. How many ways can I say no guy has ever gotten infected in this manner?

As for doing a PCR, you need to be aware it was never intended to be used for diagnostic purposes and the CDC discourages it being used for same. It's highly sensitive and that's why it not infrequently results in false positives. So you need to be aware of that.

I don't see any need for testing altogether, but then I don't live in your shoes and I do understand you are experieincing a lot of anxiety.

 
Andy Velez

Offline Erikflounder

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #5 on: November 03, 2008, 12:49:10 PM »
Andy,
I am deff not trying to one up you but there have been reported cases of HIV being contrated by the insertive partner. 

Spitzer PG, Weiner NJ. Transmission of HIV infection from a woman to a man by oral sex. N Engl J Med. 1989;320(4):251.

I saw the abstract, a while ago, I am looking for it now I will post it if I find it

Offline RapidRod

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Offline Ann

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2008, 02:09:28 PM »
Erik,

Don't bother showing us some outdated abstract. And that's exactly what it is, outdated.

You can be as scared as you like, but the simple fact is that you were never at risk through getting your dick sucked. And a PCR? Totally unnecessary. I don't care if it's covered by your insurance. And people wonder why insurance rates are sky-rocketing? Don't get me started.

If you've ever had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with ANYONE, not just sex workers, then you need to test three months or more past that last unprotected incident. You do NOT need to test over a blowjob - and certainly not with ultra-expensive PCR testing. PCR testing isn't even approved for diagnostic purposes. Get a grip, man.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Erikflounder

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2008, 02:25:18 PM »
I'm really sorry if I seem paranoid, I am usually not the type to do this...but given that this is literally my first time having a sexual relationship outside of my marriage, I am just scared. Not only did I have relations outside of my marriage but it was with a drug using hooker.  It is so hard to believe that after all the things that I have read on the internet (the whole 1 out of 20,000 figure, that I'm sure you are all familiar with) that excepting that it never happens.  As for the PCR test...Ann you are right I am going to try to hold on cause I dont want to waste a resource.

btw
Rapid Ron-I have read the study you linked me to a couple of times and although it is deff a very good study it is just as flawed as studies that showed oral sex was a likely mode of transmission of HIV

http://www.thewellproject.org/en_US/HIV_The_Basics/Oral_Sex_Whats_the_Real_Risk.jsp

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2008, 02:27:49 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2008, 02:33:31 PM »
Your outdated misinformation has already been well responded to.

I say again this really all about guilt and shame because you had some sex outside of your marriage. And doing that with a sex worker/IV drug user sucking your johnson doesn't change the solid reality that no guy has ever been confirmed to have become infected that way. It's one of the most common of sexual acitivities and even a cheating spouse like yourself is not going to be the first. No, you're not.

Really.
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2008, 02:42:41 PM »
Quote
Rapid Ron-I have read the study you linked me to a couple of times and although it is deff a very good study it is just as flawed as studies that showed oral sex was a likely mode of transmission of HIV

Actually, no.

The study Rod pointed out was only one of three studies which followed persons long-term. The Spanish study was followed by two studies done in the USA.

While the initial tracking of transmission theory utilized newly infected persons and asked questions regarding their behavior, the later studies followed negative persons in relationships with positive persons (and in one SF study, gay men outside of relationships).

While human patient report remains the LEAST ACCURATE of all scientific data gathering methodology,  this flaw was mitigated by the fact that the couples (and singles) admitted BEFORE the study that they used condoms for anal and/or vaginal sex, yet DID NOT use them for oral sex.

With the number of cases of seroconversion using these practices determined to be zero, the researchers concluded that oral sex, both receiving and giving, was of negligible risk. Particularly insertive fellatio, to which you specifically refer.

Of course, it helps that in the almost twenty years of research done since your posted abstract, hard science has shown over a dozen elements in human saliva which inhibits/breaks down HIV, notwithstanding the fact that kissing and male-to-female cunnilingus has yet to produce a single documented HIV infection.

In short, if ignoring the last twenty years' worth of scientific evidence and epidemiology is the only way to fuel your fear, then I submit that it is your methodology which is flawed. This site prides itself on utilizing and incorporating the state of the scientific and epidemiological art in HIV related risk assessment.

There is no risk in getting fellatio, and scarce to theoretical risk in giving it. Cunnilingus has never even appeared on the HIV radar.

You had no risk, except that of a time out from the moderators from excessively questioning a no risk situation, as yours plainly was.

As you have gone far into the past to find documentation to support your rear, and have ignored twenty years' of subsequent scientific data. I strongly urge you to seek the face to face help in conquering yours unfounded fears. This online forum is not at all equipped for that sort of help. I daresay none are.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Erikflounder

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2008, 02:53:55 PM »
Wow....I guess I was put in my place

realize that I dont want to be "that guy" but I am fearful and I just ask that you guys be a little softer with me. I made a mistake and in order to make myself mentally healthy again I am looking for some answers that are different depending on who you ask.....I am not an advanced academic ( I am high school history teacher) and so some of the scientific and research stuff indicates different things. 

Thank you for your help and I'm sorry (especially to Ron) for being a pain

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2008, 03:09:16 PM »
Erik,

If it's mental health you're after, you'll have to go see a mental health care professional face to face. This forum provides risk assessments and testing advice. Our assessment is you had no risk and our testing advice is you don't need to test. Your guilt is not our problem nor is it within our remit to help you get over getting your dick sucked by someone other than your wife.

Keep posting over this no-risk blow job and you'll quickly be given a time out. I've already asked you once today to read our posting guidelines. Please heed them.

You got a no risk blow job. Get over it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #14 on: November 03, 2008, 03:11:52 PM »
Really it's not about being a pain. And we do understand and respect the fear and anxiety that can be associated with wondering about your HIV status.

AND we only tell you here what we really know based on scientific data and many years of experience.

Bottom line: you have no reason to be concerned about HIV regarding this recent incident.

Dump the guilt. It's no love tribute to your wife nor a sign of what a fine person you are. It's just destructive and does no one any good. Really. Take a breath and let it go.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Erikflounder

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HIV HOTLINE STUPIDY
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2008, 08:18:25 AM »
Alright so many of you know that I was freaking out about unprotected blowjob from a street hooker in my last post.  Since then I have calmed down a bit but then I called the Georgia State STD line yesterday and they told me I was at significant risk and then told me there have been documented cases of insertive oral sex leading to HIV.  Scared is an understatement......try it out call (404) 876-9944....Should I believe these people?

Offline Erikflounder

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HIV HOTLINE STUPIDY
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2008, 08:23:17 AM »
btw I dont think it opens till 9, it connects to the CDC hotline before that

Offline RapidRod

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HIV HOTLINE STUPIDY
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2008, 08:27:27 AM »
What you better believe are the POSTING GUIDELINES.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2008, 09:10:25 AM »
Erik, I have merged your threads. Please follow our firm rule and do not start any new threads. All entries should be in this same thread.

We're not going to tell you anything different than we already have. Anyone who tells you that getting a blowjob is a risk for HIV transmission doesn't know what they're talking about. Ours is an HIV science-based evaluation of that activity. And we are not responsible for the faulty misinformation given out elsewhere.

And I can promise you that if you continue to search other sites and sources you will absolutely find more fodder to feed your fears. All to no good purpose. Period. 
« Last Edit: November 05, 2008, 09:13:01 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Would I really be the first (I'm not sure)
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2008, 02:51:28 PM »
I find these concerted and persistent efforts to reclassify HIV as a communicable disease rather than an infectious one to be disconcerting.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

 


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