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Author Topic: advise needed please  (Read 2690 times)

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Offline miket08

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advise needed please
« on: November 04, 2008, 10:32:17 PM »
hi guys

i recently posted this on another forum, but didnt quite get the advise i was requiring (re getting tested).

i recently visitied a gay massage parlour in thailand. im now paranoid that i have contracted HIV. whilst im aware that the stats say i will be absolutely fine (as there was NO anal sex and NO oral sex at all... either protected or unprotected) i still cant help worrying that perhaps there is a possibility and am struggling to cope with this.

the venue was very clean and both the worker and myself showered separtetly before the massage
the massage commenced, after about 5 minutes the worker rimmed me for a period of about 3 mins.. then fingered me for a minute... followed by some frottage. soon after the massage continued. then the worker had to go to the toilet, however i did hear him wash his hands. he came back and continued the massage.

soon after he commenced fingering me quite fast and we mutually masturbated. there was no anal sex or even oral however my concerns lie with;
-fingering. im aware the risk is extremely low (or non existant). but what if there was a bit of pre-*** on his fingers or even a bit of cum after we masturbated (pretty sure the fingering stopped as soon as he cummed anyway, but cant exactly remember) i did not see any wounds or marks on his fingers that i can recall
-when we mutually masturbated, he did come over my chest some landed on my genital area. however im positive none landed near the anus or urethra. if it did land on the urethra is there a risk?
-also as it was in thailand is my risk greater? i have heard 1 in 4 people in the massage/sex industry are HIV positive.

soon after climax we cleaned up, i showered and left.

ive never been with another partner and hence i believe my risk if very low, and never done this sort of thing before. should i get tested, or should i just stop worrying about this and move on (as others have advised me)? it was over 10 days ago now and i have not had any other signs of STDS (ie from the rimming)

My question is, besides putting my mind at rest, do i need to have a HIV test at all given there was no oral or anal intercourse?

regards

mike


Offline RapidRod

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Re: advise needed please
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2008, 07:24:51 AM »
You were never at risk and you do not need an HIV test. Take the time to read the lessons on transmission. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advise needed please
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2008, 08:12:28 AM »
Absolutely nothing you have described put you at risk for HIV transmission. The only real, proven risks for sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you use a condom everytime for those activities you will be well protected. For everything else sexual the risks are strictly theoretical.

There's no need for testing nor for further concern about this incident as far as HIV is concerned.

Cheers. 
Andy Velez

Offline miket08

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  • Posts: 6
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2008, 09:40:49 AM »
thanks guys. so i wont bother with a test.
ann, would you agree too?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advise needed please
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2008, 06:01:41 PM »
How many responses do you need to collect to let go of this unwarranted concern?

Ann is not going to tell you anything different than you have already heard.

Testing is NOT necessary. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline miket08

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  • Posts: 6
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2008, 10:32:07 PM »
ok andy. i understand what your saying.

it just plays on your mind constantly though.. the whole 'what if' scenario. your advise on this site is very clear and comes down to unprotective anal/vaginal sex as the main HIV transmission source, however other informaton on sites is not so lenient, telling people in my situation to get checked etc.

you have put my mind to rest though, as i cant find any cases of a similar scenario as mine where HIV has been contracted.

ill try hard to get over it and wont bother with a test.

Offline miket08

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  • Posts: 6
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2008, 05:25:31 PM »
hi,

i have two more questions
1) has anyone ever been infected with HIV by fingering anus if the recepiant was exposed to tiny amounts of precum from the finger of the person doing the fingering?
2) are there any known cases of contracting HIV from frottage where the penis was rubbed around the anal area but no penetration took place?

per my previous advise from a number of sources im not going to get tested, due to my zero risk activity, but was just interested in the above as these are the 'what if's' that still play on my mind

regards

mike

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advise needed please
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2008, 05:29:13 PM »
No, neither of those what ifs have ever produced confirmed cases of infection. If you keep surfing other sites and sources and indulging your what ifs, believe me you are going to exactly what will feed your fears. All to no good purpose of course.

We've given you the real deal here. What you do with that information is up to you.
Andy Velez

Offline miket08

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  • Posts: 6
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2008, 05:39:22 PM »
agree. paranoia took over there for a while. logging off now and getting on with my life.. learnt a valuable lesson from this though thats for sure.

Offline miket08

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  • Posts: 6
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2008, 04:11:49 AM »
Hi Andy, Ann or Rapidrod,

Sorry to write again. whilst i know all the stats say im at no risk and dont need testing at all, the mind can be very harsh in a situation like this. i cant get it off my mind except for when im asleep. all day i think about it.. im searching for symptoms or awaiting the inevitable all the time. its driving me nuts.

the 'what ifs' such as 'could some precum exposure to the anal area infect' or 'did the frottage get some precum in the anal area' etc etc play on my mind constantly. yes, in reality i know this is not the case (and even if it did would not transmit HIV) and its probably a one in a million chance of contracting HIV given the activites that took place. i think because it was in thailand in essence plays on my mind at all as i have heard so many stories.

my question therefore is do you know of any forum or avenue online to discuss these mind games and help me get over this?  A test would of course give a conclusive answer, but not sure if i can wait this long. the event was just over two weeks ago. wondering what you have advised people in similar situations previously... if anything (besides just getting tested!)?

thanks again, mike
p.s; promise last post! this forum has been very helpful. without it im not sure what i would have done! i have by far found it the most informative, and to the point, information on HIV on the net!


Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: advise needed please
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2008, 05:04:46 AM »
Seek professional help. You need one on one help, not the Internet.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advise needed please
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2008, 09:49:42 AM »
We can only make evaluations here of risk and suggest accordingly.

This is not a place for you to meaningfully address your unfounded fears. As Rod suggested, that's something to address in private with a counselor or other mental health professional.
Andy Velez

 


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