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Author Topic: Oral again (receptive)  (Read 6803 times)

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Offline tatteo

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Oral again (receptive)
« on: October 22, 2008, 10:24:27 PM »
I am so sorry to bother you with a question which has been posted several time but I'd like to hear your thoughts on my personal situation. Beh your pardon if my English is not perfect but I hope you'll understand me anyway.

Here is my story:
At the beginning of June I did my first HIV test (I had some risky situations before that, but I made sure I did the test more than 6 months after the last one of those.) and it was negative.
I did it because at that time I was starting a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend (he also tested and he was also HIV negative). Notwithstanding the test we NEVER had unprotected anal sex, just unprotected oral.

A couple of months ago I met another guy and I had with him unprotected oral sex (twice or three times max). I was the receiver. He did not ejaculated in my mouth. It lasted everytime no more than 20/30 seconds. I did not notice the presence of pre-cum also (but actually I do not know if it is always noticable).

Following this, in the last 3 months I experienced a list of those which can be misanderstood as "symptoms" (and I read in several post that this does not mean a thing): lymph nodes, soar throat and so on...

Do you think I need to re-test after the situation I explained? I am usually anxious about everything ( I am when it comes to university exams, why shouldn't I be when it comes to situation like this one?) but I would really appreciate an opinion from you.

Hope I made my point clear, even if my English was not perfect.
Thank you very much and have a good day (I am in Italy, but I guess that there the day should almost be over.. :) )

Tatteo

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2008, 10:28:00 PM »
sorry but I forgot something:

In many threads i read that you say oral receptive sex is a theoretical risk, especially when no sperm is present, and you state that no case of infection through giving oral sex is supported by science.

What do you mean by "It is not supported by science"?

Thx again

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2008, 03:35:31 AM »
Studies and literature.

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2008, 03:37:59 AM »
So this mean I do not have to worry about the episode, also being it the only sexual activity after having tested?

Have a good day!

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2008, 06:17:59 AM »
tat,

No, you don't need to worry about this episode. You can test for peace of mind if you want to, but you certainly don't need to. And by the way, the window period for hiv is three months, not six.

You don't need to test over these super-brief blowjobs. Really, you don't.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2008, 06:26:56 AM »
Thank you very much Ann,

everybody has been telling me that my lymph nodes can be causedby so many things and that HIV should be (in this case) the last thing I have to be scared of...but hearing it from your own "Voice" (you well know the topic) means a lot to me...also because the nodes and the soar throat is going on from a couple of months...I am already dealing with them together with my doctor (he said I have sinusitis and pharyngitis) but I hd the doubt they could be the symptoms of something worse.

Thanks again for everything,
Tatteo

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2008, 06:36:06 AM »
Tat,

You're welcome. You've been doing the right thing - testing yourself and your partner and using condoms. Keep using them for anal (or vaginal) intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

And a brief word of caution about your lymph nodes - keep your hands off them! Touching them all the time to see if they're swollen can actually irritate them and cause them to swell. I know, I've done this to myself in the past. I keep my hands off them now and they don't give me any trouble.

Keep working with your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2008, 01:21:32 AM »
Re-reading what I wrote, I have noticed that, being my English not very good, my post could be misunderstood.

By saying that I was the receiver I meant that I received his penis in my mouth and sucked it.

Are There any changes to make to your answers?

Thank you so much.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2008, 04:34:05 AM »
Tat,

No change. I understood you the first time.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2008, 04:41:59 AM »
Oki doki,

Thank you very much again..just wanted to be sure!
Have a nice day..Hugs

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2008, 02:38:50 PM »
Hello everybody,
I am so sorry to bother you again with the "issue" I illustrated in my initial post, but I would really like to know your opinion.

It's been 3 month and nearly ten days since the episode.. but my "problems" have not gone away: I felt muscle pain in my chest (not now anyway), lymphnodes are still there (not all of them,though. One, the biggest, is in my throat, the others are in the neck and in the groin area - I can say if the term "swollen" is appropriate..in can touch them under the skin and not in the surface, they are like very little balls), sometimes I felt pain in the armpits (not now,too) and in the ears (just like some kind of otitis). I noticed this pains were stronger in the days I was more tired (after a night in which I did not sleep, for example).


Are you still of the opinion it is not HIV or should I strt worrying?

And may I ask also a problem-related question?
Why is there such a difference in the opinion about giving oral risk? Here some say it is theoretical (If I did not read wrong in an anser Rapid Rod also said it is zero risk), in Italy they say it is risky, while Swiss sanity sais it is no risk (if ejaculation does not happens in the mouth)...

Have there eer been also one single confirmed infection attributed tu giving oral without ejaculation?

Sorry if my posts are always wrong, but I am starting worrying a bit about it...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2008, 03:20:11 PM »
If your symptoms concern you see your doctor. You didn't have a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #12 on: November 14, 2008, 08:10:15 PM »
Thank you very much Rapid Rod, my doubts were concerning the risk assessment more than the symtoms for which I already went to the doctor. I'll go again, then.

Thanks for letting me know that I do not have to worry 'bout HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2008, 08:40:43 AM »
Hey! You've been back and forth several times now about this concern. The opinions here are not going to change regarding the incidents you reported of giving oral sex. There are some facts to keep in mind. One is that your own saliva contains over a dozen elements and enzymes which very effectively disable the viabillity of HIV if it is present.

Secondly, longterm studies of sero-dystonic couples, both gay and straight, who had lots of unprotected mutual oral sex and only protected intercourse resulted in not a single sero-negative partner becoming infected.

Occasional reports of someone insisting their infection occured through giving oral never seem to hold up under scientific scrutiny.

If you continue to search the web and elsewhere for fuel to feed your fears I can guarantee you'll find it. That doesn't mean it's reliable, but you'll find it. You have to decide what is an acceptable risk level for yourself. Anytime you sex other than with your own hand there maybe "theoretical risk." But in the real world of HIV we know it happens through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

As has already been suggested to you, you need to discuss your symptoms with your doctor. This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2009, 12:09:41 PM »
sorry again people,

I do not want to be timed out but I have some other questions I'd like to ask you about the exposure I mentioned.

I have seen a couple doctors but they seem to be clueless about what is going on with me.

Lymph nodes keep popping up in my neck/throat/groin area and I see some sort of rash on my hands/feet.

The question is pretty simple: if it was HIV showing..wouldn't all this thing have already disappeared (my exposure was more than 7 months ago)??

I am anyway waiting for a throat swab (hope I am writing it right) but my anxiety alternatively appears again,every now and then.

Maybe it is due to the fact that I had this exposure while cheating on my boyf, or maybe because this guy has disappeared after I told him about my nodes and so on.

I heard from him twice by text message ( once he said he was HIV- while the second he told that I should not bother him and to get my therapy in case I was hiv+)

I am also asking this because my boyf (the one I cheated) would like to have unprotected anal..what should I answer him?

Thank you so much

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2009, 12:58:16 PM »
There really isn't anything we can add to what has already been said to you repeatedly. Just because thus far your doctors haven't been able to come up with a diagnosis and treatment doesn't by default mean HIV is the culprit.

Maybe you need to try another doctor. But in any case we cannot diagnose anything in this setting.

As for giving up using condoms with your bf, you need to give serious thought to that decision. Are you two in a SECURELY monogamous relationship in which both have reliably tested negative together. It's a decision that can affect your lives profoundly so I would say don't rush into it impulsively.

As far as HIV is concerned we have done what we can do for you here.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2009, 01:40:58 PM »
Tat,

A rash on the hands and feet is a classic syphilis symptom. Have you been tested for syphilis? It's MUCH easier to become infected with than hiv could ever hope to be.

You should be tested for ALL STIs at least once a year anyway.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2010, 08:12:29 PM »
Hi everybody!

It's been a long while since I last posted here and you have been really helpful! :)

Now I am writing again for a simple question.

I will have to have an HIV test (for some jobs it is mandatory here where I live) and I could choose where to have it.

After I decided the place where to have it (a hospital near the town where I live) I phoned to ask some questions and they told me that ( I think as a result of the kind of test they make) the window period is 1 month.

As the only sexual activity I had was on the night of august 22nd (I gave oral to a man without ejaculation involved). I know that it is not risky as far as HIV is concerned but, as I already have to do the test I would like it to cover also that situation.

As today it is the 21st (30 days after that night) would my test be comprehensive also of the short oral I gave, or would it be better to have the test in a couple more days.

Sorry if the questions sounds silly, but I just wanted to make sure.

Regards,
Tat

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2010, 08:14:16 PM »
Hi everybody!

It's been a long while since I last posted here and you have been really helpful! :)

Now I am writing again for a simple question.

I will have to have an HIV test (for some jobs it is mandatory here where I live) and I could choose where to have it.

After I decided the place where to have it (a hospital near the town where I live) I phoned to ask some questions and they told me that ( I think as a result of the kind of test they make) the window period is 1 month.

As the only sexual activity I had was on the night of august 22nd (I gave oral to a man without ejaculation involved). I know that it is not risky as far as HIV is concerned but, as I already have to do the test I would like it to cover also that situation.

As today it is the 21st (30 days after that night) would my test be comprehensive also of the short oral I gave, or would it be better to have the test in a couple more days.

Sorry if the questions sounds silly, but I just wanted to make sure.

Regards,
Tat

Tat,

I am not aware of any reputable HIV antibody test having a window period of 1 month. Also, have you looked into that Syphilis situation as Ann advised?

MtD

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2010, 08:19:37 PM »
hi mat!

thanks for being so kind and fast with your reply!

Yes, I had a comprehensive test nearly 1 year ago and it include HIV and syphilis (both negative). The doctor also suggested I got vaccined for heps, and so I did.

Coming to the window period: the site of the hospital says 1 month and so confirmed the nurse I spoke to on the phone.

I do not know what kind of test they run and I am sorry for not being able to be more precise.

So you say that after 1 month the test could not be reliable?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #20 on: September 20, 2010, 08:23:34 PM »
As long as you haven't done anything risky, specifically like intercourse without a condom since you last tested negative, then you're good to go. That means whatever oddball rule they are saying about a month for a result or whatever is irrelevant because we/you already know that you are HIV negative.
Andy Velez

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #21 on: September 20, 2010, 08:26:25 PM »
Yes Andy,

I only engaged in that oral sex I told in my previous post that you already told (the first time I came here) is not a risk as long as HIV is concerned.

So I'll go for my test and I will remember to ask why they say that window period is only one month and, if you want, ask your opinion on that.

Thanks a lot again for the precious info you always give

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #22 on: September 20, 2010, 08:29:17 PM »
Whatever you are told elsewhere doesn't really matter here. If oral was your only activity then you have nothing to worry about and will certainly test negative. That "one month" may simply because of their scheduling turnaround time for a result. In any case, it doesn't matter.

Cheers.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2010, 10:57:13 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2010, 11:05:40 AM »
Everything was OK and as you all (and me) expected I was negative. They simply said it was a latest generation test and after one month it is definitive.

While I was discussing with the doctor there, a doubt arose in me, and I hope you'll help me find an answer.

I know that masturbation is not a risk as long as HIV is concerned, but what if during a session of masturbation with an HIV+ man he ejaculates on me and more precisely on my penis? Isn't my glans penis considered a mucous membrane? Should infection occour in case the quantity on the glans is high?

Thanks in advance for your answer


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #24 on: October 27, 2010, 11:08:15 AM »
HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions, therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #25 on: October 27, 2010, 11:10:04 AM »
Thanks Rod for your prompt answer! Very kind of you! So I understand that the one i presented is considered an indirect contact.

Thanks again, bye bye!

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #26 on: October 28, 2010, 05:26:30 PM »
so I should not get tested? was my risk very remote or zero at all?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #27 on: October 29, 2010, 08:35:48 AM »
No, there is no need for further testing. You are HIV negative.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #28 on: November 14, 2010, 07:15:13 AM »
probably I was not clear. The above mentioned episode (ejaculation received on my glans penis) happened AFTER I had my last test and the man who ejaclated the following day told me he is positive.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #29 on: November 14, 2010, 07:29:11 AM »
    Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #30 on: November 14, 2010, 09:17:41 AM »
Yes, AND a guy ejaculating on your glans is not a risk for transmission. HIV is a fragile virus and not transmitted in that manner. Your peehole is very small and sperm is not going to get into it in that way.

You are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #31 on: December 09, 2010, 12:36:09 PM »
even if after he came on my glans I went on masturbating 'till ejaculation?

Sorry, do not want to be obsessive

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #32 on: December 09, 2010, 12:38:47 PM »
even if after he came on my glans I went on masturbating 'till ejaculation?

Sorry, do not want to be obsessive
Well you are being obsessive for a non-risk issue. Reread the warnings you have already received.

Offline tatteo

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #33 on: December 09, 2010, 12:48:56 PM »
Sorry Rod, is that in my previous message I did not specify that after he came on my glans I continued masturbating. I added that to know if my masturbating could "help" his sperm getting on my urethra.

Only that. Pardon me again

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #34 on: December 09, 2010, 12:54:18 PM »
HIV is not transmitted by masturbation. HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions, therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral again (receptive)
« Reply #35 on: December 09, 2010, 12:55:55 PM »
tat,

We've told you all we can about this NO RISK situation. You were not at risk, even if you kept on masturbating. That does not change the facts of hiv transmission.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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