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Author Topic: What Queer Will Be  (Read 1514 times)

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Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
What Queer Will Be
« on: October 15, 2008, 01:17:37 PM »
Just something I wrote last night, sort of a belated response to Coming Out Day and my online talk with a young man coming out who had contemplated suicide mingled with thoughts yet again on the passing last year of my friend, Michael.

---------------------------------------

I spent an evening tonight on the back porch in the crisp Autumn air, gazing up at the array of stars and thinking about time.  I thought about the time it takes for starlight to reach the earth and meet our eyes, the time it takes for changes to occur, for things to progress and evolve.  The time it takes to heal.  The time it takes to forget, and when it is proper to remember.  Remember nooses, maybe....nooses discarded, nooses used.  One, tied and then abandoned only recently.  Another, tied and used successfully just barely more than a year ago now...an anniversary that I let pass without comment at the time.  Tied and used successfully to put an end to the pain of an emotional wound that had never properly healed.  And here now again, a similar  stain on the spirit of another young man has quietly coaxed the working of another knot, though this time thankfully surrendered.  I leaned back on the post and turned my watery eyes up to this kaleidescope brightness in the sky and thought again of change, healng, progression.  And somewhere along that rail of thought as my eyes fixed firm on a particular rail of light, it brought my mind to a singular point of space and time.  And for a few moments, I'd swear that I could almost see into this place.

There will be a day, and not too very far off I believe (though perhaps still after I'm done & gone) when "coming out" as we know it will no longer exist.  People will be accepted at the outset as having a range of sexual and romantic interests, and these will just be other characteristics that people will discover of them incidentally as they develop into adulthood...like handedness, artistic talent, temperment, athletic ability...just one more facet of what makes a person a person.  Just as it should be.

And kids will learn about the old "coming out process" and gay stigma from studies in school, and they will puzzle over it and maybe even giggle about it a little uncomfortably as they scratch their heads and wonder about how weird it was when society was really like that and how could people have ever thought that way....kinda like some of us raise eyebrows and puzzle over old textbook pictures of "separate but equal" facilities and history lessons about slavery...about people actually owning  people, thinking it was OK to do so.  And try as a few of them might to get a mental handle on what it must have felt like back then, it will in the end remain foreign and curious to them.  Just as it should be.

On that day, that  stigmatization descibed on the pages will be what is "queer".  That  will be the embarassment, the shame, the uncomfortable subject to talk about.  It won't be us, but how we were once regarded by society...and what so-called reasons were offered up to jusify it.  That is when "queer" will find its rightful place in this human dialogue.  It isn't today, and it isn't even tomorrow - but it is a day that's coming.  And not too far off, I believe.  And the light from the stars that will shine down on that night, already well on its way here.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,037
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2008, 04:10:48 PM »
I hope your vision comes true one day. Thanks for sharing it.

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,260
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2008, 05:59:22 PM »
Thank you, Tim.  That was beautiful.

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,646
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2008, 12:54:14 AM »
tim....

I just read a post by BriGuyNY,NY . Then I read your most excellent essay and thought of what I had just read:

"Dripping water hollows out a stone...Ovid"

Briguy has this written at the bottom of his profile.

When I think of what has come before and where we are now, things seems to be just about where they ought to be.

robt
..........

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,353
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2008, 07:11:09 AM »
I hope we're alive to see this manifest.

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2008, 08:15:17 AM »
Tears on my eyes. Many tears...

ALex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,773
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2008, 11:40:58 AM »
Tim,

Absolutely stunning prose.  Thank you from all the people who will benefit from your dreams.

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2008, 11:49:23 AM »
Tim, it'll be a happy day when it happens (and I honestly think it will). I just hope to be around when it does.  Somehow, I get the feeling that I might!

David

(edited to add this is my 2000th post!  What a good thread to reach that number.   ;D  )
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2008, 02:11:26 PM »

 

And kids will learn about the old "coming out process" and gay stigma from studies in school, and they will puzzle over it and maybe even giggle about it a little uncomfortably as they scratch their heads and wonder about how weird it was when society was really like that and how could people have ever thought that way....kinda like some of us raise eyebrows and puzzle over old textbook pictures of "separate but equal" facilities and history lessons about slavery...about people actually owning  people, thinking it was OK to do so.  

 


there are definite parallels here and  i never saw them until your post, so yeah. thank you. quite beautiful...

Online BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,972
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2008, 08:32:16 PM »
Timmy, that was very well and thoughtfully written.  Thanks.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 12,100
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2008, 09:00:51 PM »
Thanks Tim , that made my day a little brighter and that's something I could use today .

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: What Queer Will Be
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2008, 11:49:57 PM »
Well keep your dream alive, Thunter Bunny....Never say never and all that.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

 


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