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Author Topic: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by  (Read 3471 times)

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Offline pozhealthy

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  • Posts: 116
so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« on: October 12, 2008, 09:37:42 PM »
the US Dept Of Justice (ha ha) and threatened to hang my self that they might offer me some relief from the 100,000 +student loan i owe from being forced to leave temple dental school back in 1991-92.May be it will bring some much need light to my plight

Offline Moffie65

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  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2008, 11:55:53 AM »
I'm curious if you are still working?  Also, this post demonstrates you are carrying a load of stress about something that won't takecare of itself.  More info would help.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 11,902
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2008, 04:33:31 PM »
I read with concern about your stressful situation in your other threads on the same topic - student loan burdens and trying to live and stay healthy with HIV on your low income.

Your recent post is very worrisome - it seems like a suicide threat.  If you are being dramatic for a point, we feel for your plight.

If you are really at your ends - please please contact a therapist or social worker in any human service or health service office which knows you. Or call your doctor.

You cannot go on with such stress.  In these threads people have made practical suggestions about your loans, but it seems like you are so stressed you cannot fight to find a solution. 

Please get some help -- it can be better, and you deserve a breather.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online Andy Velez

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Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2008, 12:13:19 PM »
Poz, how are things going today? Keep talking, if you will. You don't have to be alone with your concerns.

Cheers, buddy.
Andy Velez

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,902
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2008, 07:51:28 PM »
No news from Pozhealthy, makes me worried....

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline pozhealthy

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  • Posts: 116
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2008, 10:14:33 PM »
I am at my wits ends as to what to do. Bankruptcy is not an option since student loans cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy. I really do not know what to do and cannot find a lawyer that has had any experience in this area. I just want some sort of hope. I have contacted all my lenders and they say pay. Period. Does not matter that I can no longer afford my meds. Yes I still work and pleny of overtime but I am becoming exhausted. I already pay $700 per month which does not even cover the interest so my balance goes up each month. If i don't pay they put sanctions on my professional license and then I cannot work. And then what? If i work overtime it actually hurts me because they look at my gross income. If I do not work overtime I cannot pay all my bills ---which are all student loans. Its a catch 22 situation. I looked at all the advice people have posted and I truly thank everyone who has responded.
I was interviewed at length by POZ magazine and they were very interested in my story until i would not let my picture be published in the magazine. We have an HIV clinic at the hospital I work at and they have poz magazine. I really do need to remain anonymous about this. My long interview was condensed to one paragraph that said i owe over 100,000 and had to move back in with my parents, which was very traumatic to everyone. Now my parent are moving to a retirement village in florida and I cannot go with them, Now I need to find a place to live. Everything is so expensive. Kind of reaching the end of my rope. I am not sick enough to get disability and even if I could they can garnish 25% of the little money I would get each month.
I am trying to figure a way to work off the grid and may start cleaning houses under the table for extra income.
I am very depressed and suffer from panic attacks. I have contacted my local ASO but because I "make too much money" there is nothing they can do for me. I had to leave dental school in 1991 because of my HIV status. They see that I still owe money and the federal government wants the money. There is no barganing with them at all. My one set of loans was turned over to the US Dept of Justice. And they do not care, In fact hey want me to pay more.So what do I do? I am literallly working as much OT as I possibly can. I called the AIDS Law project and the do not have the time or resources to help me.
I think about suicide a lot. And I could get admitted for this but then it goes on my record and I still owe the money.
I am thinking about contacting my state senator, I mean, how can we get  bankruptcy protection reinstated as an option for people in my situation??? any suggestions on how to do that? Its very frustrating and I have spent litereallyYEARS trying to come up with a solution but have gotten no where. I cannot defer or forbear the loans. I cannot afford to go back to school to find a career that pays enough to get me out of this mess. I have said this before and i will say it again, If iwas offered the cure for HIV or to have my loans paid off , I would take the pay off.
any other advice anyone can offer me? thanks for all the advice and i apologize if I upset if I got anyone concered about my suicide ideas. I really don't see any other option. I live an incredibly frugal life. My only debt in life is those student loans. I have had to save and save and save just to buy tires for my car and car repairs. It took me two years to save to by my new mattress as the other one was 30 years old. My only luxury in life is my cell phone and i have a very cheap plan, only $36 per month. I cannot remember my last vacation. This summer my vacation was to have surgery which I had to save for. So I spent a few weeks in bed recovering. Some vacation.LOL
Does anyone fault me for not wanting my picture published in POZ? i was very disappointed that they did not run my story anyway. And for the record I was in the top ten of a class of over 200 students. But things were MUCH different in 1991 andI was essentially forced out of school. I really did not think I would be alive today. Most of my friend who had AIDs have passed away.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this and I look forward to your replies.

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2008, 09:04:24 AM »
After all the details you have laid out; it seems to me that you are trying to do this without coming out about your status.  I feel that you are going to have great difficulty doing anything about this debt without coming out about your status.  It is after all your status that keeps blocking any progress with dealing with debt.

Honestly, I cannot figure out what you should do, because I have never been in your shoes.  I would sincerely suggest that skipping a payment, and using that money to hire a debt counselor would more than likely help you emensely.  I know you are probalby  a really anal person about your finances, but try to get a counselor to help you out.  Also, make sure you come out about your status and force them to acknowledge HIPPA laws and keep the information confidential. 

I hope this helps, because you have gotten yourself into a bit of a corner here. 
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline pozhealthy

  • Member
  • Posts: 116
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2008, 11:32:34 PM »
I told the student loan people and i met with the US Department of Justice in Philadelphia and they focused on was how much could I pay them. I disclosed my HIV status and offered them carte blanche on my medical records. Did not do anything. i showed them the copayment amount for each of my meds and they saw my budget and still did not matter. Apparently they want whatever they can get even if it kills me.  I cannot pay for my meds right now and have been off of them for 2 years now but need to go back on. Still trying to figure out how to pay for them

Offline BT65

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Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2008, 01:58:34 PM »
Poz, have you ever applied for ADAP in your state to pay for your meds?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2008, 03:01:39 PM »
Actually there is a poster on this board that detailed how you can get your student loans discharged when you go on disability.  I realize you're "too well" to do this, but maybe you could get creative and allow yourself to deteriorate enough to qualify -- I know people will shudder at the this suggestions but how else can you get rid of this financial situation.  But yeah, this lawyer guy did get all of his discharged, and nothing was garnished from his SSDI payments.  Medical treatment is good enough now that once you go downhill they should, most likely, get you back on your feet again and you can start building your life over.

I can't remember this lawyer's name, but he posted about this recently and perhaps someone can find his user name and get you in contact with him -- it's kind of his specialty from what he wrote.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #10 on: October 27, 2008, 03:39:32 PM »
the US Dept Of Justice (ha ha) and threatened to hang my self that they might offer me some relief from the 100,000 +student loan i owe from being forced to leave temple dental school back in 1991-92.May be it will bring some much need light to my plight


Why don't you just file a chapter 7 bankruptcy ( total liquidation) you still can keep your job, and you won't have good  credit for 10 yrs. but, you could always use cash or a debit card (to buy whatever you need), I had to do this back in 1998 (when i went on disability) but, I was lucky tho, I didn't own any land or real property, so I had NO ASSETS, all I had was Medical bills, and credit card debt, so, the chapter 7 went thur without a hitch, now 10 yrs. later, I have good credit again, but the sad note in all of this is, (I'm still on disability after 10 yrs.) and I only make 1/3 of what I use to make, so, good credit really means NOTHING, at all, if you cannot afford to use it........just sayin  ???
« Last Edit: October 27, 2008, 03:44:12 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline BT65

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Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2008, 08:29:19 PM »

Why don't you just file a chapter 7 bankruptcy ( total liquidation)

One can't file bankrupcy on student loans. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: so do you think if i put my head in a noose and stood by
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2008, 09:09:54 PM »
One can't file bankrupcy on student loans. 


Oh WOW  ???  thats very unfortunate , for Poz Healthy..... (he should have filed bankruptcy WAY BEFORE this law was changed, like way back in 91 or 92, I NEVER would have waited that long, when it was still possible to do this)........Well I guess we can thank the G. W. Bush Admin. for that, his Admin. changed the Bankruptcy laws, and dumb-ass Congress signed off on this in 2003  ???

Pozhealty.......you can get your meds (in most cases for FREE) w/ State ADAP, you should apply for this, and in most states the cut-off is 31, up to 50K a yr. I don't know what State you live in, but, I would go to my local ASO, and apply for THIS NOW  ??? you really need your meds NOW, they are keeping you ALIVE, and going without them, is really not recommended  ??? if you are reading this post...PLEASE DO THIS as soon as you can arrange it, don't delay.........Please post back and let us know how the ASO gos, and what they said about all of this............my Heart gos out to ya Buddy  :(  we all await your replay to this post soon  :-\
« Last Edit: October 27, 2008, 09:53:52 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


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