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Author Topic: Question on a relationship  (Read 2632 times)

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Offline alhn

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
  • Everything Happens For Me..Not to me
Question on a relationship
« on: October 02, 2008, 10:23:09 PM »
I have been seeing a guy for 8 months now. He too is positive. But personally, I have been struggling to understand how what he thinks or how he feels. He was diagnosed + about a year ago and just started medication about 2 months ago. I have been positive since 2006 and its been a year I am on my medication and life has tremendously changed for me - for the better that is.   :)

But going through this relationship - well, it has been a bit tough. Being a woman and perhaps being sensitive, I felt that he still is very reserved with his feelings and sometimes i felt the distance emotionally and physically. Yes it has been 8 months, but he has never initiated any physical hugs, or holding hands to even start with. I dont know, maybe I am expecting too much too fast?? or is it normal for a guy who is newly going through this to react this way>?

He holds a certain executive status in a multi national company and I can understand his confidentiality to a certain extent. He has frequently asked me out and most of the time only me and him and I have not been introduced to his friends..etc. Is he afraid or still in denial? We do have mutual friends from the support group that we meet though but there are hardly any straight guys who are positive to probably share and support him in that manner. But i know for him to move on, he has to take that step himself.

This is my first relationship after 2 years since I stopped dating after I got infected by my last boyfriend. And I like this current guy alot. I only want to be there to help.

Anyone (women or straight men) who may have gone through the same to advice me? Much appreciated. Thanks

tendai

  • Guest
Re: Question on a relationship
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2008, 05:45:31 AM »
welcome to the forum alhn
i havent eactly been in such a situation but there are people who are like that, who arent physically demonstrative. maybe try talking to him about it and tell him how u feel, could be he's just shy?
by the way, men arent allowed to post in the womens threads. u'd have to post again in the Living With forum so men can also respond to your question.

Offline alhn

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
  • Everything Happens For Me..Not to me
Re: Question on a relationship
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2008, 11:10:15 PM »
Thank you Tendai..for your reply. I did post my thread in Living with HIV and yes, i did get a few responses too.

Yes, you are right about the my guy. He is a bit shy sometimes not totally but I guess in some issues :)

thanks again

Offline 27years

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: Question on a relationship
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2008, 05:29:22 AM »
If you like the guy there is nothing wrong with initiating the things you enjoy, it could be that he might be wondering how you are going to react if he acts in a fast forward manner, and if he is still new to the virus it might take a while for him to get over the first simple steps to move on.  Talk to him about what you expect.  Its easier for man to forget simple things in a relationship.  From my own point of view give him all the support he needs and be open with him so that he feels comfortable with you and eventually opens up as well and enjoy the relationship.

Hope things will work out for you all the best 
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

 


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