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Author Topic: My Dad Died Tuesday  (Read 7206 times)

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Offline Jeff G

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My Dad Died Tuesday
« on: October 02, 2008, 09:11:49 PM »
I'm getting through it I guess , I have my moments but it just seems unreal.

My dad and I talked on the phone every month or so for most of my life .
In April he invited me to his 70 birthday party and made a public declaration that he was sorry for being an absentee father and vowed to make up for all the lost time .

Since then we have been together often and talked most everyday on the phone when we couldn't . He was excited about buying a retirement home on a lake in Alabama that we used to live on when I was a kid . Tuesday he was to close on it , then we were to celebrate at a fancy restaurant that he loved and wanted to treat me to .

He woke on Tuesday morning with a slight head ache and asked if he could just sit for a moment with his eyes closed . He closed his eyes and went to sleep and never woke up again . I love my daddy and will miss him , I'm just glad we had this time together however brief . 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2008, 09:31:39 PM »
I'm sorry for your loss. Please except my condolences.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2008, 10:03:40 PM »
Sorry. I lost my dad at age ten (I'll soon be 46) and I still miss him. I feel for you.

(((((((jg))))))

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2008, 10:04:26 PM »
I'm so sorry about your dad.

Ford

Offline Snowangel

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2008, 10:06:43 PM »
My deepest sympathy, jg.  May your Dad rest in peace.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Basquo

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #5 on: October 02, 2008, 10:18:19 PM »
I'm so glad you were able to be closer to him these last few months. It doesn't make it easier, but it's better than not being closer. It shows your daddy loved you, as you've told us you loved him.

best, and hugs,
Creighton

Offline bocker3

  • Member
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  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2008, 10:25:36 PM »
jg -- I am so sorry for the loss of your dad.

Hugs,
Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2008, 10:40:51 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father, you got to spend a lot of quality time with him and those memories will last you a life time...my thoughts are with you today.

{{{hugs}}}
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Jerry71

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  • {Lexiva, Norvir, Complera} Still Breathing!!!
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #8 on: October 02, 2008, 11:57:56 PM »
Sorry to hear that. :'(  I lost my dad back last December and it has been hard at times the worse thing is going to my home and finding him laying face down in the floor. It was a shock to us all but you learn how to move on but you can never forget. Just be strong and remember the good times.

Offline rondrond

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2008, 12:03:42 AM »
jeff,

I am so sorry for your loss.

From some of our discussions I know that he was keeping his promise to you to make up for lost time and I know that he loved you.

Take care of yourself, I know you will come through this as you are strong in spirit, mind and body.

((Hugs))
ronnie
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline weasel

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2008, 12:22:06 AM »
sorry for your loss

i was glad to hear you were close at the end

                                          He will be watching over  you now ,

                                                     karl             
" Live and let Live "

Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,893
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2008, 12:58:13 AM »
So sorry to hear your loss my friend.
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline Robert

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2008, 01:34:29 AM »

Sorry to hear of your loss.  It's never easy. 

The influence of his love will stay with you for a long, long  time.

robert
..........

Offline guynphx

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2008, 03:00:22 AM »
sorry to hear of your Dad's passing......my thoughts are with you during this time.

Offline lucas clay

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2008, 03:59:14 AM »
Sorry to hear of your dads passing,my condolences to you and your family.

                                                                   Lucas

Offline emeraldize

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2008, 07:06:30 AM »
Very sorry to learn of your sudden loss, Jeff.  He must have been a very interesting man to have taken time at his 70th birthday to share his realization about time lost with family and to have made such a declaration. What a perfect thing for him and for you to have had time together during which he showed he was serious about recommitting himself as your father.

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2008, 07:44:05 AM »
Jg,

My condolences to you and your family, on the loss of your father.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2008, 08:17:08 AM »
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and energy , Jeff

Offline auspoz

  • Member
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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2008, 08:50:38 AM »
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad's passing.

My thoughts are with you.

Auspoz.

Offline jennynyc7

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2008, 08:56:22 AM »
I am sooo very sorry for your loss. I hope that you are hanging in there the best that you can!

j
12/24/07-infected
1/3/08-ARS began
2/12/08-diagnosed
Initial Vl=99000
CD4=585
2/14/08-began Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir
3/01/08=Swapped Reyataz for Viramune
5/1/08:     vl= undetectable
                cd4=1250
10/24/08:  vl=undetectable
                cd4=1172 (55%)

12/4/08:    vl=254 (hopefully just a small blip)
                cd4=1234

Offline heartforyou

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  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2008, 09:10:59 AM »
First  of all I offer you my condolences for the loss of your father.
Loosing a parent shakes your roots.

I think your father, for a reason, started this reconciliation with you.
Blessed will be the conversations you had with him after that.
always too little and always to soon to go.

May he find pace and may you feel his love forever.

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline dixieman

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2008, 09:20:34 AM »
Jeff, I've known you for over 25 years... and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. Let me know if there's anytghing I can do for you. sincerely, John

Offline Alain

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  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #22 on: October 03, 2008, 09:20:53 AM »
Jeff,

I am sorry for your loss.

With fondest thoughts, Alain.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #23 on: October 03, 2008, 10:21:35 AM »
My condolences

Hugs,
Sharkie

Offline bear60

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #24 on: October 03, 2008, 10:24:59 AM »
Offering you condolences.
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Texan38

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #25 on: October 03, 2008, 10:44:12 AM »
My sincerest condolences.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mark
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline Florida69

  • Member
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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2008, 10:52:42 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss, it is a horrible thing loosing a parent.  HUGSS..  D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #27 on: October 03, 2008, 11:31:34 AM »
My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your Dad.

May he rest in peace.


hugs,

Alan   :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #28 on: October 03, 2008, 01:45:12 PM »
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  Its very sad whenever we lose someone, but to not know its coming seems to make it very surreal, in my opinion.  I lost my husband years ago, but knowing he was terminal somehow prepared me for it, if only a little bit.

I can't imagine how you must feel, J.  You have friends in this Forum, please stay in touch and let us know how you're doing.  I know it must be very, very difficult right now.

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #29 on: October 03, 2008, 02:12:05 PM »
My condolences, Jeff. I hope it will be of some comfort to you that you and your Dad had what sounds like some really fine times.

With best regards.
   
Andy Velez

Offline BT65

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #30 on: October 03, 2008, 04:30:34 PM »
Jeff, I am so, so sorry for your loss.  Keep in mind the times you two had together.  And pm me whenever you want.  I'm here for ya. :-*
   Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Assurbanipal

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  • Taking a forums break, still see PM's
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #31 on: October 03, 2008, 04:42:33 PM »
My deepest sympathy on your loss. Losing one's father is so hard.  I hope you can take comfort in the time you were able to spend with him over the past year.
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline Jody

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #32 on: October 03, 2008, 09:29:16 PM »
Dear Jeff...Sorry for the loss of your dad.  The time you had together at the end of his life were indeed a blessing.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline David_CA

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  • Joined: March 2006
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #33 on: October 04, 2008, 12:33:57 PM »
I'm sorry for your loss.  I am glad that you two 'reconnected', even if it was towards the end.  You're in our thoughts.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #34 on: October 05, 2008, 09:39:47 PM »
Thanks again everyone for writing , it means more to me than I can express at this time .

I am at his house now dealing with his estate , who knew it would be this way .
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by this but making progress .

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #35 on: October 06, 2008, 02:42:10 PM »
Hey Jeff,

My deepest condolences on the loss of your father.

I know how sudden deaths can just throw you for a loop. My dad died in 1983 of a sudden heart attack.

Just take it a day at a time.


HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline joemutt

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #36 on: October 07, 2008, 01:47:49 AM »
I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #37 on: October 07, 2008, 08:06:22 AM »
Jeff,

My belated condolences on the loss of your father. 

My best wishes and thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Offline rocky48

  • Member
  • Posts: 37
Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #38 on: October 07, 2008, 09:38:52 AM »
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad's passing.

I lost my father and mother 20 years ago. I feel strongly that they are looking down on me as your father is on you. Just keep good thoughts.

My thoughts are with you.
Started Atripla on 4/23/11
5/27/11   CD4 - 572 VL - 130
9/30/11   CD4 - 566 VL - UD
3/23/12   CD4 - 640 VL - UD
9/21/12   CD4 - 699 VL - UD

Offline HopeandCope

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Re: My Dad Died Tuesday
« Reply #39 on: October 07, 2008, 01:07:51 PM »
Very sorry to hear your Dad died.  Peace be with you at this time.

Hugs,

Jude
Jude
Hope and Cope Support Site
A Safe Place for Families & Friends of HIV+ People
http://hopeandcope.blogspot.com/

 


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