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Author Topic: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her  (Read 12626 times)

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Offline akr

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Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« on: October 01, 2008, 12:06:18 AM »
Hi
I went to a dirty strip club where people do everything. My concern is that can I get HIV or STD when the CSW gives handjob. She had just given one to previous customer and say after 3-4 mins after brief visit to the restroom(hope so she washed her hands) she gave me handjob. Can I be infected by previous customers semen on her hand. I also dont know she had sores or wounds on her hand. I have headache and loss of apetite and sleep and not able to conentrate on work. Am I infected.
I am not circumcised and have long foreskin.No sores or visible cuts though.Please assess my risk. Do I need testing.

Offline anniebc

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2008, 12:21:03 AM »
This is not an HIV situation,  you need to take time and read the Welcome thread and follow the Lessons on how HIV is and is not transmtted.

You certainly do not need to test over this.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2008, 07:18:52 AM »
Thanks
But how much time does the virus  in semen  lives outside the body. Can I get infected if her hand touches my urethtra/foreskin directly.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2008, 08:21:25 AM »
HIV is a very fragile virus. It requires the kind of very receptive setting which is provided by a vagina or an anus during unprotected intercourse.

You are worrying needlessly. Mutual masturbation, touching, vaginal fluids on the hand and any variation on those activities you can come up with are absolutely NOT in anyway a risk for transmission. No one has ever become infected through those very common sexual activites. It's safe to say you won't make history by becoming the first.

Let it go and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2008, 06:15:37 PM »
Thanks for your reply.
I had hiv test today that is 2 days after exposure which is negative.Last 1 year I did not have any sexual relationship other than my wife. Can I continue to have sex with my wife. Actually I am not able to sleep because of this and wife is upset as she doesn't no why. I dont have any risk right.
Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2008, 06:23:58 PM »
No, you did not have a risk. No, you don't need to worry and yes you can have sex with your wife.

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2008, 09:53:23 PM »
Thanks a lot Guys.
Still I think a lot about this and I feel that her hand was sticky with semen of another person.I understand that its low risk as HIV will die outside. How to stop this anxiety.

Offline Ann

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2008, 10:03:51 PM »
akr,

It doesn't matter what her hand was sticky with, it wasn't a risk for hiv infection. No way, no how. It wasn't LOW risk, it was NO RISK.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2008, 05:58:53 PM »
Hi
Someone told me that  herpes sores on her hand are risk for HIV in my situation.
I dont know whether she had them or not or whether bleeding or not.
Please also let me know what is solution for my anxiety. How to overcome it.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2008, 06:13:11 PM »
Seek professional mental help to deal with your fears.

Offline Ann

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2008, 09:39:38 AM »
akr,

People don't get herpes on their hands. They get herpes on mucus membranes like the lips or genitals. Not the hands.

It wouldn't matter what sort of sores she had on her hands. Being masturbated is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2008, 10:30:21 AM »
Thanks Guys.
So blood on her hand would not make any difference in my case. Hope so she did not have any.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2008, 08:59:23 PM »
Even IF she did have blood on her hands, that is not a means of HIV transmission. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2008, 09:55:11 AM »
Thanks Guys. I will try to control my anxiety and will wait for my 4 weeks results just to keep my wife safe till that time..

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2008, 09:55:37 AM »
Hi Andy
Why you think blood would not make any difference. I am not able to control my anxiety.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2008, 10:28:33 AM »
Hey, it's not about what I "think." No one has ever become infected through being masturbated. HIV is fragile virus which needs a receptive setting in order to remain viable and transmittable. That's the kind of setting provided for perfectly by unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse.

So even IF the person who masturbates you is HIV+ and has blood or whatever body fluid dripping from their hands, transmission simply doesn't happen in that way. And all of your anxiety notwithstanding, you aren't going to be the one to make history by becoming the first to be infected in that manner.

Give it up, buddy. You were not at risk. Period. And if you can't control your anxiety then maybe you need to see a therapist or other professional to talk about it. Because in terms of HIV that anxiety is totally unwarranted. I suspect that you have guilt or shame about the circumstances you were in, which is something that we run into very commonly here. Let it go and get on with your life is what I say. Believe me, if there was any doubt about your situation we would tell you. But there isn't.
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2008, 08:07:31 PM »
I am put on anxiety medicine by my doctor. I am also seeing a therapist.Thanks a lot for helping me.

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #17 on: October 09, 2008, 11:40:38 AM »
Hi Guys,
I have taken the DNA PCR Test after 6.5 days of exposure which was negative. Is it reliable test.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #18 on: October 09, 2008, 11:41:58 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2008, 10:34:16 PM »
Sorry Rod please dont give me time out.
I am just worried infecting my wife. Its been 4 weeks now. I always read Andy's post that I am not going to make history by being the first one(hope so he is right). I get some inspiration and satisfaction after I read that. But anyways I will wait for full 3 months and get tested. I dont want to put her to any risks. I know even if its no risk according to you. Nothing is impossible in this world anything can happen.

Offline Ann

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2008, 06:41:29 AM »
akr,

You can't give your wife something you don't have. You don't have hiv from getting a handjob. Post again over this no risk situation and you WILL be given a time out. This is your last warning.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline akr

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2008, 02:28:55 PM »
Thanks a lot again.
I am sorry for being dumb and I fully understand that there is no risk here.
I am going to share this today with my wife and explain her that experts from aids meds have repeatedly confirmed that we have no risk at all and we can resume normal happy lives again. I dont know how she we will react but I am going to be honest and explain everything to her what happened last 4 weeks.

This will be my last post and good luck everyone.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: handjob with CSW in strip club. worried
« Reply #22 on: October 21, 2008, 03:10:41 PM »
Just a thought -- if you haven't already spoken with your wife, you might give think again about whether you are just giving her more information than she needs to know simply because of your own anxiety and guilt that you want to get rid of.

You absolutely weren't at risk for HIV, so if that's your concern it has absolutely no basis in HIV science.

Once you disclose information to her about your incident you can't take it back. So make sure you are prepared to accept whatever her reaction maybe.l 
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #23 on: February 04, 2011, 10:37:28 AM »
Hi
I am in greate pain and suffering with guilt as I am married. I was alone and went to massage parlour in london where there are european and south american girls working. The girl was blonde and spainish she told me. When I entered the room I was little drunk. She removed a condom form her purse and some lube and kept on the side table.I told the girl I dont want to have sex but when she removed her clothes and I removed mine keeping my underpants . Then  I was really in the mood and then I started grinding on her. I started kissing her whole body and she asked to proceed for sex but I said no and continued grinding her again for couple of minutes.She turned around on her knees dog stylle and I started touching her ass and felt horny and this point I dont remember I penetrated her or not lowering my underwear as I was gettin hard. At the end after a lot of grinding I went top on her also and dont know penetration happened. May be my mind does not want to believe the truth that I penetrated. After this I removed my pants and told her to put condom and she did by giving me a hand job and I came. Later she washed her hands and went.
The next day I got really freaked out and went to the A and E and told them that I penetrated a sex worker without condom, they said no pep is given as risk is low. I begged for PEP and finally theygave me a starter pack. I missed some pills due to side effects, like instead of 4 pills a day I toold two pills on day 4 and day 5 but continued regular dose later. Last 9 days of pep are remianing now. I also tried to contact the girl and asked whether we had sex that night but she said no we did not and that she is clean and she does do some std testing and always use condom which are given by some clinic. i also requested her medical records and she said get lost i am clean i told you. 2 weeks post pep afterwards all other std came back negative the gum clinic said.
I have lost 2 kgs already but I think because of pep and not eating because of anxiety about hiv results outcome. Also I have not told my wife yet as she is gone away from the country for a month.

1. If I had penetrated her risk is high I know right as sex workers usally are more likely to have hiv.
2. I have to wait for 3 months post pep conclusive result?
3. GUM Clinic told me to come 6 weeks post exposure from hiv testing just to check that there is no hiv infection but again after 3 months.
4 After 2 weeks post pep can I do RNA pcr test I guess to make sure pep worked or not?
 

Offline akr

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #24 on: February 04, 2011, 10:53:16 AM »
I want to confess...
This is my second time on the forum. Exactly 2 years back I did went to a strip club and I was freaked when I got a handjob and u guys said there is no risk and it was true but still i did not learn from my mistake which is shameful. If I tell my wife she is going to leave me. What a fool I am to do this agian and put myself and my family at risk again and this time penetrating the woman without condom which I am not sure but my mind is saying that I did and I dont want to believe the truth.I should be really punished for this with hiv and my wife does not deserve guy like me.

Offline Ann

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2011, 11:14:39 AM »
akr,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





You need to know that using the term "clean" to describe someone's sexual health status is very insulting to those of us who are living with hiv. I'm clean, thank you very much.

1. When you penetrate ANYONE without a condom you're putting yourself at risk. Sex workers are not necessarily more likely than anyone else to have hiv. They normally make the customer use a condom because they are protecting their own lives and livelihoods. If you tried to penetrate her without a condom, she would have stopped you.

2. Technically, yes. However, it sounds like it is only your own irrational panic insisting (once again) that you were at risk when you were not. I agree with the GUM clinic - you did not need PEP.

3. That is the standard procedure.

4. You do not need RNA testing. Don't waste our dwindling NHS resources on an unnecessary and EXPENSIVE test.

One more thing - hiv is NOT a punishment and it is insulting for you to suggest otherwise. It's a damn virus that ANYONE can get, so get a grip.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline akr

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2011, 11:29:07 AM »
Hi Ann
Sorry I hurted your feelings. She said she is clean (she said these words) these are not my personal words. But that is also not good.Sorry again
I am also very sorry that I said I should be given hiv punishment. I really appologise for the same. Its shameful what I have done and also what I have said now.
Also rna test I have to pay for the same nhs will not.
Please let me know rna test after 2 weeks is really good or not.

Offline Ann

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #27 on: February 04, 2011, 12:03:36 PM »
akr,

When there has been an actual risk (I do not believe you have had a risk) and PEP was taken, I'd recommend at least four weeks after the last dose of PEP before an RNA PCR test was used.

If you want to waste your own money on this unnecessary test, knock yourself out. I'm glad to hear your NHS trust is refusing to pay for it - you DO NOT need it. I'm surprised they're paying for your PEP - you don't need that either.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #28 on: February 04, 2011, 12:04:17 PM »
From what I can sort out from your confusion and panic, you acutually did not have intercourse.

If I am correct then testing is strictly for your peace of mind. An initial test can be done at 6 weeks after an incident. After a genuine risk, which I don't think you had, a negative at 6 weeks is likely to continue to be negative at 13 weeks for a conclusive result.

But having said all of that I don't think you need to test because I don't think you actually had unprotected intercourse.

What I do think you need is some professional help with your thoughts and feelings about your sexual activities. We can't provide that service in this setting.  
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #29 on: February 04, 2011, 01:21:27 PM »
Ann/Andy
Also the point Ann made that sex worker would have stopped me from penetrating and requested me for wearing a condom is not completely justified. Its not her responsibility its my responsibility to wear a condom which I did not. And because I dont remember about the penetration I have taken PEP. Really believe me if I would have remembered I would never take PEP as there is no point. Secondly she may not even care about clients health if she has some std as she is just interested about the money. There are lot of people who had expereinces of unprotected sex with sex worker.
Therfore PEP was jutified and I have to test to put my fears to rest.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #30 on: February 04, 2011, 02:07:28 PM »
OK.

Follow your plan. There's really nothing more for us to say about your situation.

Good luck with your test which I expect will be a negative result.
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #31 on: February 21, 2011, 12:15:46 PM »
I have done a HIV Duo test 1 week post pep which has come back negative. I have paid for the same. NHS will do one next week and hey told me that if that is negative you are highly unlikely to get HIV. But I have loss of apetite and cannot sleep. May be my anxiety.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #32 on: February 21, 2011, 01:39:23 PM »
Neither a loss of appetite nor sleeplesness are in anyway HIV-associated symptoms.

You're just driving yourself wacky and totally unnecessarily because like Ann I don't believe you actually had a risk for HIV. So I don't expect anything other than a negative result no matter when you are tested.

I do suggest you see a therapist or other professional to discuss your situation which is really about guilt and anxiety and not a genuine risk for HIV as well as apparently impulsive behavior sexually which seems to make problems for you.

This is not an HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline akr

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #33 on: February 27, 2011, 07:11:32 AM »
Hi
My 6 weeks HIV Duo Test is Negative, but now I have different problem. I had a this test at NHS and 2 test before at Private clinics. I never bothered about needle before.
At NHS the nurse was using a butterfly needle which was unwrapped and kept in the tray it had a small tubing cover on the needle which I saw. I also saw a wrapped needle in a plastic cover. She used the unwrapped one. Can it be she accidentaly reused a needle as there were 2 needles in the tray.Why she needed 2 needles in the tray in the first place. I am going to report this to NHS Clinic tommorow.
 I am going tommorow to the clinic to report this.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Married man On PEP as I dont remember much I penetrated her
« Reply #34 on: February 27, 2011, 07:44:36 AM »
Hi
My 6 weeks HIV Duo Test is Negative, but now I have different problem. I had a this test at NHS and 2 test before at Private clinics. I never bothered about needle before.
At NHS the nurse was using a butterfly needle which was unwrapped and kept in the tray it had a small tubing cover on the needle which I saw. I also saw a wrapped needle in a plastic cover. She used the unwrapped one. Can it be she accidentaly reused a needle as there were 2 needles in the tray.Why she needed 2 needles in the tray in the first place. I am going to report this to NHS Clinic tommorow.
 I am going tommorow to the clinic to report this.

Yes, you do have a different problem but it has nothing to do with a real risk for HIV. Get yourself some professional help to deal with your fears about HIV. We can't do that for you in this setting. If you come back again about this same non-risk situation you are going to get a Time Out from the site. HIV is not your problem.

Andy Velez

 


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