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Author Topic: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure  (Read 3550 times)

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Offline madbrain

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Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« on: September 19, 2008, 10:31:16 PM »
Not having gotten much lately, I tried to meet an escort last night. I mentioned over the phone that I had STDs . The girl said she was still OK with it. So I went to meet her. She was no longer OK after I showed up and told her what it was more specifically. I guess HIV isn't technically an STD only, but still. I thought someone in that line of work would be aware of safe sex practices, and I did tell her that I couldn't be the first one with HIV that she had ever met. It was quite obvious that I was the first one to ever tell her, however.

In the end, no fun was had by anybody, just a very uncomfortable conversation. At least my conscience is clear. I ended up going to the gym for healthier activities afterwards.


Offline atlq

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2008, 10:33:52 PM »
I'm sorry??....
“Keep up the good work....   And God bless you.”
  --  Sarah Palin, to members of the Alaskan Independence Party, 2008

Offline BT65

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2008, 10:58:00 PM »
Oh wow, did that knock the wind outa your sails?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2008, 11:02:06 PM »
You could solve all of this by just becoming an openly HIV+ escort yourself.  Or at least that's my take on it.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2008, 11:59:29 PM »
The rejection doesn't sound all that strange.  The situation does.

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Bucko

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2008, 12:36:03 AM »
Since when did hookers get so picky?
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline atlq

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2008, 12:41:11 AM »

Since when did hookers get so picky?

Yeah, the nerve of her....having a choice and all....
“Keep up the good work....   And God bless you.”
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Offline Bucko

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2008, 01:00:58 AM »
Yeah, the nerve of her....having a choice and all....

If the whores in Silicone Valley are turning away work, it's a sure sign that the recent economic difficulties here in SoFla aren't entirely universal.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2008, 01:06:16 AM »
Renews my faith in the working girl.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2008, 01:13:36 AM »
what the hell...

maybe it has nothing to do with HIV
maybe she didn't get a good feeling about you

Good for her for expressing her limits.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2008, 01:15:37 AM »
Too bad there's no DMV-like entity involved so that he can report this stigma to the newspapers, though.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline David_CA

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #11 on: September 20, 2008, 02:04:09 AM »
The rejection doesn't sound all that strange. The situation does.


That's what I'm saying.  I thought you were gay!  ???
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline next2u

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2008, 02:30:51 AM »
dude, why didn't you set something up with another worker? and, for the record, you don't have to disclose. they should be like healthcare workers and use universal precautions. i know this is the real world, so not smart ass remarks peanut gallery.

also, ill third that it wasnt the rejection that was strange but the situation. she could of at least given you a handjob as consultation gift. fucking people man...

with that said, don't give up. oh, and if you do become a sex worker, please give us your number and have discounted rates for other poz folks!!!
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3

Offline jabez

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2008, 02:41:24 AM »
I don't blame her for backing out of the transaction -- that's certainly her perogative -- but whoever heard of such?!   Seriously, with the economy so sour, you'd think that sex workers would be feeling the pinch as well.

With your new license plate, I reckon it's always better to go ahead and disclose.   If you decide not to mention your status, you car tag is gonna be mentioning it for you as you exit the parking lot.     
Sept 2007 -- CD4 = 68; VL = 469,000
Started Atripla Sept 21, 2007
Nov 2007-CD4=217;VL=332
Feb 2008-CD4=237;VL=<50
Apr 2008-CD4=271;VL=66
Aug 2008-CD4=440;VL=52
Jan 2009-CD4=403;VL=61
May 2009-CD4=480;VL=129
Sep 2009-CD4=376;VL<40
Jan 2010-CD4=476;VL<40
Jul 2010-CD4=539;VL<40
Jan 2011-CD4=461;VL=53
Jul 2011-CD4=515;VL<20
Jan 2012-CD4=506;VL=54
Aug 2012-CD4=440;VL=21
Jan 2013-CD4=447;VL=<20
Jul 2013-CD4=406; VL=<20

Offline next2u

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2008, 03:04:26 AM »
it still irks me that she backed out. in her field it's like a known work hazard. some people have stds, use protection. people lie, use protection. with that said, fuck, use protection, and get paid.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3

Offline joemutt

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2008, 03:45:22 AM »
No, I dont agree with that. I think sexworkers have the right to make a choice. I f he had been more specific on the phone OP could have saved himself a cab ride.

Offline edfu

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #16 on: September 20, 2008, 06:04:29 AM »
That's what I'm saying.  I thought you were gay!  ???

He certainly was in his posts in early 2007, where there are a great deal of references to his bf and an ex-bf, etc.  ???
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline atlq

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2008, 08:11:04 AM »
 and I'm sure the encounter also included a lengthy info session on the differences between hypothetical and documented modes of HIV transmission....just sayin'   
“Keep up the good work....   And God bless you.”
  --  Sarah Palin, to members of the Alaskan Independence Party, 2008

Offline tash08

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2008, 11:07:27 AM »
Why just not use a condom, disclosing to an escort hmm ???. In her profession I'm sure she slept with at least few people that had it. Or to make it easier for yourself you can find other poz pople that are wiiling to have sex with you.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2008, 11:18:46 AM by tash08 »
01/04/06-HIV-
03/09/06-HIV+
05/07-Atripla
04/01/10 CD4-681, VL-UD
07/10/10 CD4-450, VL-UD
10/10/10 CD4-473, VL-UD
01/21/11 cd4-522, VL-UD
05/02/11 CD4-638, VL-UD <20 copies Hell yeah!
08/3/12 CD4-806, VL-UD

Offline newt

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2008, 11:14:46 AM »
Methinks (mainly as note to self) this thread is more about (a) dynamics of disclosure & complex difference between public bravery compared to 1-on-1 disclosure, or (b) proof California is truly the Muesli State, esp bearing in mind recent car plate episode, than about commerical protocols of engaging a call girl (or boy).

And perhaps about self-acceptance, of which outcome here may be one small step forward.

jus' sayin'

- matt

Now playing: Mr Bojangles, Nina Simone
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #20 on: September 20, 2008, 12:16:39 PM »
Soliciting a prostitute? The next time you're chatting with officer friendly he might be cuffing your hand instead of shaking it. However, since this was a business transaction, I'm sure you would agree, she has every right, no matter the reason, to refuse service. Caveat emptor and all that.

You did tell us the gory details of the "exploding condom" incidence in another thread. Rushing your bi-curious friend to the emergency room to receive PEP. Say it happens again. You going to foot the girl's bill? Maybe she decided she didn't want to risk spending fifteen hundred dollars for a two dollar John.

No where is it written in the hooker bylaws that they must perform a sex act if they choose not to. Even if you are positive.

typo
« Last Edit: September 20, 2008, 01:33:59 PM by Dachshund »

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #21 on: September 20, 2008, 04:26:14 PM »
Hi,

I'm sure you would agree, she has every right, no matter the reason, to refuse service. Caveat emptor and all that.

Of course I completely agree with that. I never said that it wasn't her prerogative. What I find strange is that she is willing to go ahead with other people who don't disclose, but not when somebody tells them the truth.

Quote
You did tell us the gory details of the "exploding condom" incidence in another thread. Rushing your bi-curious friend to the emergency room to receive PEP. Say it happens again. You going to foot the girl's bill? Maybe she decided she didn't want to risk spending fifteen hundred dollars for a two dollar John.

I probably would have, just the same as I would any guy if the same thing happened and he didn't have insurance. But I didn't really anticipate that happening again given how rarely it does. However based on the conversation I'm quite sure she had no idea PEP existed, she thought even kissing was a risk.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2008, 04:35:21 PM by madbrain »

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #22 on: September 20, 2008, 04:26:38 PM »
You could solve all of this by just becoming an openly HIV+ escort yourself.  Or at least that's my take on it.

lol

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #23 on: September 20, 2008, 04:34:22 PM »
That's what I'm saying.  I thought you were gay!  ???

I'm gay, and a little bi-curious. I only had experience with one girl before. I guess the count is still 1.

« Last Edit: September 20, 2008, 04:40:41 PM by madbrain »

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2008, 04:40:03 PM »
Why just not use a condom, disclosing to an escort hmm ???.

Using a condom was certainly my intent. But I thought the escort deserved the disclosure as much as anyone else, I am not selective that way.

Quote
In her profession I'm sure she slept with at least few people that had it.

That's true, and I tried to make that point to her, but it's not one she was prepared to hear.

Quote
Or to make it easier for yourself you can find other poz pople that are wiiling to have sex with you.

I would love to, but unfortunately, that's a lot easier said than done.

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2008, 04:50:37 PM »
maybe it has nothing to do with HIV

No, it was very clearly the HIV part she didn't like.

Offline BT65

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2008, 09:44:57 PM »
Just because someone is a sex worker, does that mean they are obligated to sleep with every trick that approaches?  Even with the economic hard-times, people still have their pride (and freedom of choice).
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline lonewolf

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #27 on: September 24, 2008, 03:34:36 PM »
Right Betty!!
Hookers, or prostitutes or sex workers or what ever term you want to call them are HUMAN BEINGS, just as everyone else.   They certainly  have the right to make decisions.  It might seem the author of this thread feels they are obligated to oblige him.   I mean,  divulge or not,  he was not honest with her from the start.  That obviously sent flags up with her right away.    His comment that she wasn't very HIV educated, doesn't really matter,  after his first lie to her,  why should she believe anything else he had to say. 
 
Seems to be abit of ego problems here (along with the license plate).  And it was deflated abit cause he didn't get laid... 
"To all within the sound of my voice, I appeal: Learn with me the lessons of history and of grace, so my children will not be afraid to say the word “AIDS” when I am gone. Then, their children and yours may not need to whisper it at all."  Mary Fisher

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #28 on: September 29, 2008, 03:54:02 AM »
Just because someone is a sex worker, does that mean they are obligated to sleep with every trick that approaches?  Even with the economic hard-times, people still have their pride (and freedom of choice).

I agree with all of the above.

I merely found the rejection odd because the escort is taking the same sort of risk on a regular basis and cannot expect everybody to disclose their status to them, if their partner even knows it. She is willing to practice safe sex when the risk is not explicitly stated (as with someone else who doesn't know their status or doesn't disclose), but not when it is, as it was with my disclosure.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2008, 03:57:46 AM by madbrain »

Offline madbrain

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #29 on: September 29, 2008, 04:25:03 AM »
Right Betty!!
Hookers, or prostitutes or sex workers or what ever term you want to call them are HUMAN BEINGS, just as everyone else.   They certainly  have the right to make decisions.  It might seem the author of this thread feels they are obligated to oblige him. 

No, I didn't have the expectation that there was any obligation on her part. I never said anywhere that I had that expectation. I had already clarified that in my response #21 (September 20, 2008, 04:26:14 pm). Did you really need to bring this up again 4 days later ? If you want to accuse me of something at least read the whole thread first.

Quote
I mean,  divulge or not,  he was not honest with her from the start.  That obviously sent flags up with her right away.   

I don't see how I could have been any more honest with her. I told her that I had STDs and she didn't ask for more specifics on the phone. She still didn't ask specifics in person. I volunteered the information to her because I thought she had the right to know exactly what it was. You don't have any basis to say that I was dishonest.

Quote
His comment that she wasn't very HIV educated, doesn't really matter,  after his first lie to her,  why should she believe anything else he had to say. 
 
Seems to be abit of ego problems here (along with the license plate).  And it was deflated abit cause he didn't get laid... 

Well, it's pretty clear from the above that you have something personal against me, but really that doesn't have anything to do with facts.

Offline dixieman

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Re: Strangest rejection yet after disclosure
« Reply #30 on: September 29, 2008, 10:48:31 AM »
Madbrain, maybe your lucky on the STD 's she may have had herself... even with a condom there are some wonderful bugs one can catch... you know... they keep giving the saying goes... she could have replied... Would you like some herpes with this bj sir or... please hump me nice and slow... my HPV is acting up again? so look at it this way she was willing to have sex with undisclosed STD's but, not hiv... so your probally better of taking care of your buisness yourself and let her conduct her own buisness with another client.

 


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