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Author Topic: just venting  (Read 3844 times)

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Offline Paulette

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  • Posts: 112
just venting
« on: September 29, 2008, 05:46:59 PM »
well it has been a while. and just when i thought it couldn't get any worse it did. i lost my health insurance, because they said i made too much money and so now what. I'm kind of relieved that i no longer  have to take the meds, because I'm just so sick and tired of taking them, maybe I'm giving up. i don't really know and i don't really care. 

After losing my husband to cancer back in Feb. i finally tried to move on and was rejected. man that hurts. maybe i shouldn't look for a neg. guy. but i don't don't trust positive guys. damnit that's how i got this little bug.

and the only ones that are interested is losers anyways.

just venting i hope all understand
I have HIV; it doesn't me;)

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,416
Re: just venting
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2008, 06:58:48 PM »
Sorry to hear you have been dealt another blow.  Please try and contact your local ASO and see if they can help you with your meds.  Think about how much your girls need you.  You can and will get past this.
We are here for you.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: just venting
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2008, 07:06:20 PM »
Hi Paulette~

Sorry to hear that things are weighing in on you.  You say you no longer have to take the meds, I'm assuming that's because you can't afford them bec of the loss of insurance?  Are you well off and making too much money, or are you making too much money to qualify for state-assisted insurance?  I would advise you to contact your local health dept to get meds and continued treatment, or if you have the means to, buy your own insurance.  You HAVE to have health care with this bug.  Check on ADAP in your state.  If you make too much to qualify for that, then perhaps you can afford insurance?  I'm not sure.  I didn't know about ADAP until last year and to think I had been widowed and paying for meds all this time!

As for moving on....oh boy oh boy.  My hubby died in '96 and since then I have kissed tons of toads and am in my 4th LTR.  Don't kick yourself.  I agree, meeting a poz guy IS difficult, as I have only met four.  Three were one date only guys and the fourth was last summer, for a few weeks, and it didn't work out either.  I have been with a neggie for 11 months now.  Anyway, I would suggest dating socially just so you can get out and mingle.  Sure, date neggies.  That's all I did, and over the years I got stronger about disclosing.  If a guy rejected me after a few dates and my disclosure, I would just be excited with anticipation about who I would meet next.  It got to be entertainment in its purest form for me. :D  Its going to take time to get over the loss of your husband and to deal with all of the emotions that go with it.  Just be social, meet people and don't expect much more.  Oh, and be PICKY about who you meet.  No need to be with any weirdos!  Learn to weed them out!  ;)

Most importantly, make sure you don't go off any HIV meds you're supposed to be on.  There are plenty of resources in our communities, a bunch I didn't even know about until I was unemployed and on my last leg in 2007.  Hang in there and join us in the Ladies' Thread, we all miss you!   :-*

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Sweet_C

  • Member
  • Posts: 200
Re: just venting
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2008, 08:46:57 PM »
(((((Paulette))))))  So sorry that you're going through a rough patch.  I hope things start looking up.
Tested positive on September 11, 2008

Offline BT65

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  • Posts: 10,764
Re: just venting
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2008, 10:10:40 AM »
Paulette, please contact your ASO about getting coverage for your meds.  Your kids really do need you and it would be unfair to them to stop trying.

About a man, where is it written in stone that a woman has to have a man to be complete?  We really don't have to be in relationships to have satisfying lives.  There are other things.

Good luck.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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  • Guest
Re: just venting
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2008, 10:26:31 AM »
i hope your ASO can help you out.
u'll meet the right man when the time is right


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