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Author Topic: Please, need advice!  (Read 3701 times)

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Offline MichaelLee

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Please, need advice!
« on: May 08, 2008, 01:05:37 AM »
Thanks for the kindhearted work you have done.

Excuse me for my poor English. My experience goes like this;

Nov,29th, 07 Protected oral sex with a sex worker and I put one finger into her vaginal for less than 30 sec. She was not that "wet". However I didn't wash my finger until I get to my hotel 20 min later. The skin of my hand is intact, at least no visible cut. Now, I am worrying about this incident as I experienced serious sore throat, swollen gland diarrhea etc, exactly in the following 2-4 weeks. I went to see doctor and he said "don't worry the risk is very low".

Actually, I have browsed the archives here and found fingering with intact skin poses no risk but I just cann't figure out how the sypmtoms happened which is rare to me such as sore throat and why it happened exactly in the 2-4 weeks.

Please help me with the following questions.

1) I didn't wash hand after fingering until 20 min later. Can this put me at risk? I mean "long time no washing" with vaginal fluid on. (I think the fluid becomes dry in about 5 min after fingering)

2) I have experienced about 5 times mouth ulcer during the past 2 months. I do have mouth ulcer since my childhood, about 5-6 times per year. But recently I found its frequency increased which makes me very nervous. I am not sure if mouth ulcer is related with tiredness or poor sleep quality. (I am woking quite hard during the past weeks.)

3) As to my experience, do you consider test necessary?

Any suggestions or thoughts is appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Ninja Please
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2008, 01:30:57 AM »

You were not at risk of HIV infection from this sexual experience. Protected oral sex and fingering a woman are quite safe practices in HIV terms.

If you are feeling ill, please see your doctor. You do not need to test because you don't have HIV.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.



Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 28,318
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2008, 08:11:11 AM »
Michael, the ONLY thing that is risky in what you have written is that it reveals you don't know the basics about HIV transmission. You are worrying needlessly. As Matty has pointed out, you were absolutely not at risk in any way during this recent incident.

But this epidemic is going to be around for a longtime to come so you must become better informed about the real risks, which essentially in relation to sex are unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse. As long as you always use a condom for those you will be effectively protected. Using a latex condom everytime makes the HIV status of your partner(s) irrelevant because condoms protect you very well.

As Matty suggested, read our lesson for more information.

Andy Velez

Offline MichaelLee

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2008, 09:10:23 AM »
Thank you Matty and Thank you Andy!
I really really appreciate your kind help!
I trust you and I have also take Andy's suggestion to read the basic knowledge. I think it will do good to me.
I still want to ask one more question.
"Once the fluid is dried, the virus losses its activity and destroied"
Is this right? Thanks!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2008, 09:19:52 AM »

Any fluid which contains hiv doesn't have to actually dry up before hiv become too damaged to be able to infect. Hiv is very fragile and once it is outside the body, it quickly becomes damaged and unable to infect. This is why hiv is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! Read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline MichaelLee

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2008, 04:06:16 AM »
Hello! Friends
I lapsed again~~
Uh... i have protected vaginal sex with an escort i met in a club several days ago. The condom was used correctly and consistently. The condom works well. But i feel puzzled by the following situation.
As i was taking off the condom, I found my "ball"(i am not sure if it is the proper word) and the root of my penis is wet. It's absolutely not my water.
My question;
I was always wondering that vaginal fluid may drop on the ball or the root of penis.
This situation does sometimes happen. However, research suggests that correctly using a condom is very safe. If the above mentioned situation carries risk, how can we say condom protects safely?
Many thanks!!!

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2008, 04:39:08 AM »
You where not at risk of contracting HIV for getting any secretions on any part of your body. As long as the head of your penis is covered during vaginal and/or anal sex there is NO RISK of contracting HIV.

Offline PierPier

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  • Posts: 22
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2008, 08:37:05 AM »
so you didt he same thing again after going through "Am i infected ?" phase. Man you are either a liar playing around the forum  or PLAIN stupid >:(

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2008, 09:18:02 AM »
PierPier, DO NOT post in any other forum other than your own. 

Offline PierPier

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2008, 09:29:41 AM »
OK sorry I was just pissed I really have hard time waiting for negative and how can you actually be so stupid to do same thing again at least i know I won't if I'll be fine evenamonthoffun isnotworth the hell i am going through now

I will probably have doubts fornext 5 years even if my result will be negative

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
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Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2008, 10:04:21 AM »
This is what you need to do:

1) Stop writing in someone else's thread because it's against the rules of the site unless you're authorized to do so. And you are not.

2) Cut out the rude behavior or you're going to get yourself banned real quick from this site.

3) If you have something to say or to discuss put it into your own thread.
Andy Velez

Offline MichaelLee

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2008, 11:48:24 AM »
Thank you RapidRod and thank you Pier for your criticism words. I feel regret and

ashamed... I failed to controll my mind. It all come out of the very nature of


I should remember your recommandation "NEVER EVER TAKE SUCH RISK AGAIN".

Offline MichaelLee

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2008, 09:39:52 PM »
hello everyone
I finally determined to take a test. Negative
it is over 2.5 months after my last encounter.
the method is particle agglutination test (PA)
I do not know much about the method and I see people here often talk about ELISA

how about the acuracy. I mean PA compared with ELISA
thanks very much!

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2008, 11:54:55 PM »
You didn't have a risk and you didn't need any testing.

Offline tigger2376

  • Member
  • Posts: 462
  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: Please, need advice!
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2008, 02:27:21 AM »
No risk. No chance of mistake.
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!


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