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IS she really going to DIE?

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mrsjozy:
Eleven years ago I found out that my mom was HIV positive. She was 31 then and I was 11. At that time HIV had no meaning to me. Years later on my own I did the research and finally found out exactly what it was. Even still at 15 all I really understood was that my mom was sick and going to DIE My family didn't talk about it at all. My mom stayed away for a long time afraid that she would be treated differently. Still it wasn't until one year ago did the virus actually take a physical change in the appearence of my mom. Before the HIV my mom struggled with an addiction and up until four months ago she still was using. She would always say that she wanted to stop but that she would get sick and die if she did. I thought she was using that as an excuse but sure nuff, my mom was tired of the street life and wanted to live a "normal" life for once but soon as she would be a month or so clean she would get really sick and have to go to the hospital for days for her breathing or for her kidneys and the list goes on. It was as if her entire body would just shut down on her if she didn't do drugs. Now, my mom has been clean for four months. The first month she began to rapidly waste and the second month she was bed ridden and finally the thrid and fourth month she was in the hospital for 67 days and numerous Dr.'s told me that it was just a matter of days. Her everything was failing. My sister and I both offered a kidney but they refused basically saying that she was NOT worthy because she had abused drugs. I'm so tired of people telling me that there's nothing that can be done. I'm not in deniel, I can accept death and I'm not scared of it but I know that death is not the only answer at this point. There are millions of people living with HIV and at one point in time was told that they only had a few years-months-weeks-or even days but they are still alive. I just need to be pointed in the right direction to someone who can help me save my mom. She is really young and strong. No one in the hospital can believe that she walked out of the hospital. I know this is not the end. If I were rich would it be the end? Perhasp if my skin was not dark it would not be the end?  >:(

aztecan:
Hey MrsJosey,

I am no doctor, but I can say I have seen people make amazing turnarounds and come back almost literally from the grave.

There are several things that may be going on here. If her HIV were untreated all these years, it is quite possible she has zip immune system left. Also, her drug use may have masked other things going on with her body that may now have progressed.

Who is treating her? It is an internal medicine doc who specializes in HIV? If not, get her to one. I don't know here you live, but there should be an AIDS Service Orgainzation in your area that may be able to steer you in the right direction regarding this.

Second, you mention you mom used drugs for many years. If she used needles, she should be checked at once for Hep C. This is very important because the combination of HIV meds and Hep C on the liver can be lethal depending on the status of the Hep C.

Most of all though, let her know you are there for her and will be there for her. That is something that can cause a person to want to continue to fight.

I, for one, rarely give up on anyone, regardless of their current medical state. I have seen too many people turn around and make a comeback.

I have also seen the opposite.

I wish I could be more help. I'm sure there are others here who will offer advice, probably better than mine.

Hang in there and keep us posted on how things are going.

HUGS,

Mark

kcmetroman:
Dear Jozy,

Speaking as one that did come back from the grave....It can be done, but she needs authoritative medical care.  Mark is right on in his post...

Good luck, and I will be praying for the two of you....

Andy Velez:
Jozy, what comes across loud and clear in what you have written is your own strength and the depth of your caring for your Mom. It's powerful to get that message from you.

Whose care is she under now? Is it someone you feel you can work with to get her the care she needs? Is there a social worker or other professional you can turn to for help with her medical care?

Thinking of you and praying for all of you.

Christine:
Hi Jozy,
Is there an Aids Service Organization in your area? Can you get in touch with a social worker? Is she being seen by an hiv specialist? Is she getting support for her addiction? NA or AA. Has she been placed on meds? Does she understand how to take them properly?

It is not unheard of that someone who is very close to the end can turn around and become well again, but proper medical care is needed, and for your Mom, help so she can stay clean. And congratulations to her for taking that step.

Christine

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