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Aftermath of Dan's What Have I Done thread and moving on

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Andy Velez:
Dear All,

This has a been a troubling few days for us here. It's now become apparent that Dan's announcement of his suicide attempt was in actuality, to put it as mildly as possible, a false alarm. We have received authoritative confirmation that it was all a ruse. And you know us well enough here to realize we would not say something like that unless we were certain about it. I don't want to name any sources. I will just say that Peter, Tim, Ann and I feel confident about what I am expressing here.

Of course, this action on Dan's part initially stirred a very worried and even panicky response as suicide threats will do. Even though I had my doubts about its veracity at the time, a suicide threat always has to be responded to with care and thought. And I say that even as I bear in mind what has been revealed since this all started.

Now that it turns out it wasn't for real, people understandably feel among other things, taken advantage of, lied to and abused. And all of the feelings that come along with that. 

Dealing with the aftermath of this happening is going to require some real restraint and understanding on the part of everyone here. Please keep in mind that anyone who starts this kind of false alarm is unquestionably in need professional help. However mistaken a method it was that Dan chose, he was still on some level asking for help.  I fervently hope he will do whatever is necessary to get that now.

The caring responses so many of you expressed when you were worried -- well, that kind of caring is what is needed again now in perhaps an even more challenging circumstance. After all, you've been "had." And that never feels very good. What I am asking for is restraint in your expressions about this experience. And that you not allow what has happened to erode our real strength here. 

That caring impulse on everyone's part was the right one. And I very much hope that you will not allow this event to change your willingness to support and to trust each other in the future. A basic part of what makes the Forums work is mutual trust. And we have a lot of evidence here everyday of that trust being respected. Please remember that. As upsetting as it maybe,this experience is the exception to what we're like here with each other. 

Dan needs to get help. Hopefully he will do that. He's done something very regrettable.  AND he is still a member here.

So I am asking for your forbearance and patience about what has happened.  Let's move on.

My best to all of you,   

kcmetroman:
Dan, Dan, Dan.....

ademas:

--- Quote ---That caring impulse on everyone's part was the right one.
--- End quote ---

amen to that.

HIVworker:
Thank you for letting us know. Maybe this thread should be locked and if people want to talk about it start a new thread? Just an idea.

R

Dachshund:
I agree with Andy...put this behind us and move on.

Peace,
Hal

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