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Author Topic: Need advice please  (Read 7396 times)

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Offline chris08

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Need advice please
« on: September 06, 2008, 04:15:20 PM »
Hi all,
       can i start in saying what a wonderful website this is with some very very special and caring people ,Im now going to tell my story that has been heard many times so sorry at this point.
Im married and recently had sex with a women at work in her 40s and now feel guiltly and worried as my wife is not to blame so i hope i hav'nt brought anything home.
The encounter was oral sex her on me and protected (condom)sex but did seem to ride up my penis a little at the end.

My concerns are at the time i had a water infection,and her fluids on my fingers when applying the condom i now have several concerns ,i have developed a rash on my face after about 4 weeks it is a red heat bumps type rash and i gave blood recently as it was my time to go and i love giving blood i'm now woried i may have early signs of hiv and it was only 4-5 weeks on from the encounter so i worried about my blood donation i know they test for this and they have not wrote to me now as it was a week or so ago ,that is'nt why i gave blood !!(blood donations are only tested for antibodies i beleive not for the viruis (in the uk)

So i have tried to look at the facts ,being did i put myself at risk and i think its no but still am worried may be thats the guilt can any one give advice   

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2008, 04:22:43 PM »
Hi again,
           i do have other symtoms but dont feel its right to print them infear it will only make other people worse ,all views welcome many thanks p.s im in the uk

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2008, 04:22:50 PM »
There was no risk insofar as HIV is concerned.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2008, 05:01:01 PM »
Many thanks for the reply,is your answer based on the fact that a condom was used and transmission of hiv is very low risk from receiving oral and the fluids outside the body if it had hiv in would die very quickly i'm just concerned as i read somewhere that if you have an infection i.e water infection this would make hiv easyier to trasnmit and get in your system ,but i guess i wore a condom and this reduced my risks maybe i should listen more and stop typing!!!

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2008, 07:49:02 PM »
Hi all i really need more advice as i have other symtoms which are worring me my big problem is at the time of the sexual  encounter i had a ulrether and water infections making myself easyier to contract hiv ,I dont know what to do cant test for hiv as its only been about 5 weeks worried my blood that i donated my be infected as they will never know as went to the donnors only 4-5 weeks after the encounter feel so so bad please advise HELP!!!

Offline atlq

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2008, 09:18:23 PM »
As jk said, there is no risk of transmission in the scenario you described. You cannot get HIV from receiving a blowjob and condoms prevent HIV transmission.

If you need more info on transmission, please go to our Welcome Thread
“Keep up the good work....   And God bless you.”
  --  Sarah Palin, to members of the Alaskan Independence Party, 2008

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2008, 10:05:56 PM »
I am trying to listen to the facts but all the symtoms i'm having is making me so so scared 1.i have a small rash on my face like heat bumps 2.i have pain when i wee water infection 3.pains in my kidneys 4. constant pain in my left side of stomach ,before and after going to toilet 5. cant sleep 6.sharpe pains in base of foot i know this all could be something else but seems had to beleive it has nothing to do with my encounter, what tests can i take at 5weeks to help me get to 13 many thanks sorry to sound silly but just frigtened

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2008, 02:01:36 AM »
Sorry you are afraid. If you have troubling symptoms, you should seek medical help.

You have had no risk for HIV. I cannot imagine what else this forum can offer you.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2008, 03:36:46 AM »
hi all thanks again for reply,why cant these symtoms be hiv related i have even lost weight ,i so dont know what do can i do a pcr test i think its called where they test for the viruis as im going crazy about things and do they use these tests when testing blood donors blood need advice on early test please so scared i have wife and kids so dont want to cause them any more problems

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2008, 11:53:38 AM »
We at AIDSMEDS.COM do not address symptoms, as they are largely irrelevant.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2008, 04:58:06 PM »
So sorry to keep on many thanks to you all for your replys guess i have to set this one out to get a real answer maybe i should of thought a little longer before putting my self in this sitaution in the first place !! just got to much information now God so so scared tho p.s keep up the good work !!!

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #11 on: September 08, 2008, 06:10:31 PM »
Please can you reply im very scared and married with two little girls i really think i have hiv i know you all said my risk was low -nil but my symtoms so fit i have a skin rash on my face small bumps and today now have a  small rash like bubbles or my arm not had fever or swollen glands but stomach cramps and weekness in legs CAN I TEST AT APPROX 5 1/2 so need to get some help just want to end it all at the mo cant live with myself please please help !!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #12 on: September 08, 2008, 06:14:33 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #13 on: September 08, 2008, 06:35:28 PM »
 :-[Im SO SO SORRY i didnt mean to undermine all the brillant work you all do i hear will try and calm down and seek help ,just so scared sorry once  again  :-[

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #14 on: September 08, 2008, 06:54:32 PM »
Fortunately your feelings aren't facts. And there is no basis in HIV science for you to be concerned about HIV. Your symptoms? Discuss them with your doctor? Your feelings? Talk to a counselor or other like professional.

You're a dawg like a lot of us and you went straying. You can't undo that. You have to accept it as a part of your personal history, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. And if you can't do that then that's where seeing a counselor might be of help. We can't do anymore about that or about your situation. This is not an HIV situation. Period.

Andy Velez

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2008, 07:11:39 PM »
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THOSE WORDSThis is truely a very special web sit with lots of very special people who have troubles of there own yet find the time to help others through there troubles thanks again

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #16 on: September 11, 2008, 01:45:56 PM »
Hi all ,tried to keep away for a while so i could get my head together went for a 6week test just so i did'nt go mad ,dont get the results untill couple of days time had a big chat with the people there and i hope i'm right in saying that they mention that if you do get ars symtoms you tend to get them all at once not a fever one week ,then a rash ,then a more problems the next week and so but i guess this is all our worries thinking we have hiv by our symtoms not the FACTS          

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #17 on: September 11, 2008, 01:47:52 PM »
I'll bet you my left swinger that your test result is negative.

MtD

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #18 on: September 11, 2008, 01:54:10 PM »
Thanks chris i really hope so for my sake and your left swinger but its so so hard not to relate all my symtoms to the incident and hiv madness i know  but thanks again

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #19 on: September 11, 2008, 01:55:12 PM »
 :-\sorry Matt i mean see iys all about me me me sorry again

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #20 on: September 11, 2008, 01:59:44 PM »
Yeah, I smell a rat.

Reported.

MtD

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #21 on: September 11, 2008, 03:35:02 PM »
sorry i dont understand what you mean i was saying sorry for calling you chris instead of matt as all im thinking about is myself and my problems at the mo

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2008, 05:36:39 PM »
Hi all ,
         just tested at 6weeks stage as needed some help to get me to the 13weeks and tested NEGATIVE im hoping this is a good sign as i beleive most people will show antibodies by this time so so weird still having all sorts of symtoms tho oh well thanks to you all for being hear

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #23 on: September 18, 2008, 05:45:41 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation , will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2008, 04:28:32 PM »
Well !! sorry again but i thought i was just keeping people posted on my progress ,the site is full of people worried about there situation and no doubt read alot of other posts and seek comfort from them.I know many of us may well be well worryers if there is such a word but you seem to jump on people very quickly and i have not been on the site for a while as im trying to deal with my situation ,but i guess this is this best way to deal with people who go over the top with there posts but i feel i am not one of those . Many thanks

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Need advice please
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2008, 06:21:49 AM »
Chris,

When someone has had NO RISK, such as yourself, we usually only allow them about a dozen posts before they get timed out. There's only so many ways we can say "no risk".

Keep posting about your no risk situation and you will be timed out. This is absolutely your last warning.

Your six week negative is not going to change as you has no risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #26 on: September 21, 2008, 04:43:13 PM »
OK! Thank you all for listerning,in no way did i mean to offend anyone or abuse this fantastic web site and i do not use the word fantastic lightly as this site has brought me great comfort and surpport during my uncomfortable situation ,you have all made me look at the FACTS not symtoms even tho i have had plenty of those in the last 6/7 weeks .

My only advice to all people who read this is please please listern to the Facts and nothing else ,yes hiv is out there and yes we can all get it who ever we are but only in the ways that are listed (FACTS),HIV is not a punishment for the acts we have done, it is a blood born virus that is transmited in several different ways ,if you are unsure of these ways then go to the lessons section and read very very slowly,then think again does this virus still apply to me and my situation or could it be partly to do with GUILT.

THANK YOU AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

***Then meaning of FACT:something that actually happened ,existed,or exists:provable statement

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2008, 03:14:30 PM »
Hello Everyone ,
                      just thought i would pop back on im still scared about things and cant understand my symptoms are nothing ,so not long now untill a final test and hopefully this will be the end of this nightmare SYMPTOMS 1. heavy cold 2. water infection and kidneys problems 3. rash on face 4.stomach and back pains and weight loss and always tired

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2008, 03:48:18 PM »
To Everyone!!!!
                     if you are like me and cant seem to move on from your episode and cant explain your symptoms,my health adviser said those people that do show ars symptoms (early signs)of infection then always tend to test postive after symptoms if they are related to hiv transmision as this is your body producing antibodies and fighting the infection or reacting to it.So in brief if like me you have had symptoms in the first 2/6 weeks and then have a test at 6weeks and its negative normally the test will be the same at 13weeks .13weeks is still the only way for a 99.9% answer

Offline anniebc

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2008, 04:16:32 PM »
Your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV..Colds, UTI's etc are not symptoms of HIV..it really is time for you to move on and go and see your doctor, we can't help you anymore than we have done already.

It's time to practice what you preach

Quote
My only advice to all people who read this is please please listern to the Facts

And another reminder:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation , will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Jan




-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #30 on: October 19, 2008, 04:14:29 AM »
My symptoms,can be related to ars symptoms ,face rash ,weight loss ,tiredness,cold flu type and the water infection kidneys problems ,on this web site it mention that this is something to check for when you first convert to hiv+ (kidney problems)1 in 3 have these problems .
This is why im finding it really hard that my symptoms mean nothing they do seem to point to hiv and they all happen in an early time frame ,as for the transmission yes it was protected sex and she peform oral on me but it seems lots of people who become infected are not quite sure how.  my big question is why did all these symptoms happen after my encounter with the lady ,i know i cant get an answer untill i test neg at 13weeks and yes i had a neg at 6weeks but it also seems alot of people test neg in the early weeks.
I have and wife and two small children i just hope that i have not wrecked to many lifes i know maybe of should of thought of these when i did what i did please do not time me out as this is my last post untill nexk week when i get my final test and a true answer i when then only post one more time with the result many thanks for listerning and putting up with another poss well worrier

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #31 on: October 19, 2008, 07:22:11 AM »
chris,

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. I do not expect your negative result to change - you didn't have a risk in the first place.

The symptoms you describe can be attributed to many, MANY different illnesses. Hiv isn't the only bug out there, you know. Keep working with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is going on with you. Whatever it is, it isn't hiv.

I don't expect to hear from you again unless it's to report your conclusive negative result at three months. If you come back again before that, you'll be timed out. You had NO RISK!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #32 on: October 23, 2008, 03:03:50 PM »
Well i'm back again,been a bit silly got my maths wrong when having my last test on monday

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #33 on: October 23, 2008, 03:08:32 PM »
SORRY ABOUT THAT!! What i meant to say was had a test on monday and got my maths wrong it was only 11weeks and 3 days but the test was NEG i'm happy with does a few days matter i.e 4days i hope not ,i'm still having kidney problems but my doc things this may be due to kidney stones i hope so any way thanks all who listen i hope this result is right surely it has to be a real great sign even if it is not quite 12weeks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #34 on: October 23, 2008, 03:22:44 PM »
Your negative test result is more than a "great sign." In your case the few days definitely do not matter because you weren't at risk to begin with. So you are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Andy Velez

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #35 on: November 03, 2008, 03:43:29 PM »
Hi all back again with a few problems as you all know i tested neg at 11weeks and 3 days but im still having problems cant seem to put back on any of the waight i loss in the begining ,i also seem to be getting oral thrush not normal for a heathly adult and still have my kidney problems and pains in my stomach at the side my face feels thin and and i always feel weak at the end of the day and slept a good 12 hours the other day ,also my skin is itchy

My problem is im relating all this to my first worry of hiv ,im worried that when i gave blood it delayed all the  conversion time and thats why i didnt show any antibodies at 11 weeks i'm now too scared to get re tested as i was so happy to get a neg result ,im still under the doctor trying to find out what the cause of the kidney pains as he gave me antibolics for an infection again but this has not help ,can all this be really related to hiv or is my test fairly conclusive and all my problems something else like poss kidney stones .I have read that hiv can cause kidney problems is this to early in my case or is this something that happens further down the line when your imunne systom become weaker,sorry to be a pain but so so confused now

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #36 on: November 03, 2008, 03:48:45 PM »
Did you understand the warning you were given?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #37 on: November 03, 2008, 03:53:29 PM »
None of your latest litany of symptoms are in anyway HIV-specific or related, including thrush and kidney problems. Donating blood would not affect seroconversion.

Frankly this is all nonsense. If you can't let go of these fears then you need to 1) discuss your symptoms with your doctor to determine the real cause and 2) see a therapist or other professional to discuss the emotional aspects of what's going on with you.

This is not and HIV situation. We've warned you several times. Now I am giving you a time out. And I will warn you to not try to come back in before you time out by creating another account. Doing that would get you permanently banned from this site.

Once again, this is not an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline chris08

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SOME GOOD ADVICE!!!!!
« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2008, 04:48:55 PM »
Hi all,
        PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND SLOWLY OR EVEN 3TIMES

My name is chris and i'm from england and posted lots of messages on this wonderful web site worried that i may of contracted h.i.v,the reason i am writing this message is i have had a lease 4/5 tests at many different stages 4weeks,6weeks,11weeks and now about 15 weeks all negative,this web site is full of well worriers asking advice from some very special people but not listening as i never did too.

MY POINT  IS-please look at the FACTS at all times not your situation EG;your married you have been unfaithful ,you think you should be punished for what you have done and so on.

FACTS:  look at the facts on which h.i.v can be transmitted if you do not fit into this criteria then you are NOT going to be a special case and contract hiv in some NEW weird and wonderful way

SYMPTOMS  -mmm symptoms i had bloody loads of them from Glands up under armpit,bodyrashes,weight loss,tiredness,you name i had it

TESTS  -as for the tests themselfs here in england if you go to a gu clinic the test,tests for hiv 1 and 2 and are very accurate after6- 8weeks but they double the time to 13weeks to catch any people that may convert later
 
PLEASE ,PLEASE,PLEASE beleive what people say to you on this web site and read and listen very carefully to the facts and not what you want to hear we can all read something and just pick all the bad stuff out to fuel our cause

REMEMBER-respect people on this site and dont forget some people do actually have hiv so be careful in what you say FACT hiv is a blood born virus that can be transmitted in several ways not a punishment you get  because you have done something wrong

AS you will see from all my posts i did not listen i kept on asking questions that had already been answered clearly,i also was convinced i already had hiv,diagnosed my self by all my symptoms untill they had to ban me from the web site for 4 weeks just for my own good

SO LISTEN TO THE FACTS AND NOT YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2008, 04:51:27 PM »
TESTED AGAIN AT 15WEEKS ALL NEGATIVE

THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH AND SORRY AGAIN FOR NO LISTENING TO THE FACTS!!!!!!!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #40 on: December 02, 2008, 08:16:43 PM »
Chris.

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

You tested negative. Big deal. You never had a risk in the first place.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2008, 03:03:53 PM »
Many thanks
p.s was just trying to help as many people on this web have of will be in the same position as i was sooner on later  :-\

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2008, 03:41:15 PM »
The best way you can be helpful in the future is to make sure that you always use condoms everytime you have intercourse. No exceptions. Effective prevention is essential to getting the epidemic under control.

As for your intentions, why do you assume anyone is going to listen any better than you did when we assured you that you weren't at risk? 

Enjoy your negative status and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline chris08

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2008, 04:09:33 PM »
VERY TRUE ANDY ::)

keep up the good work as everyone on this site help me through some difficult times i had
many thanks again

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #44 on: December 03, 2008, 05:56:08 PM »
You're welcome, Chris.

Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

Offline chris08

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Having a panic attack
« Reply #45 on: November 03, 2009, 01:42:42 PM »
Hi all sorry to be posting on here again ,having bad time of it at the mo.Im in a bad way at the mo and need some strong blunt advice last year i had protectected sex with a woman outside my marriage and condom nearly slip up my penis, this happen on 1st august 2008 and had my hiv test on nov 14th 2008 it was neg since this time i have been on and off very unwell lots of colds and no longer can last the day out without having arches and pains and feeling very tired.

I am constantly getting problems now i have a cold with one gland up under my armpit and a red rash behind my knees im just so conviced its all to do with hiv but how can this be as i tested neg after 15weeks but have read all over the place that people can convert after this time any advice welcome as getting more and more depressed many thanks
   

Offline chris08

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Re: Having a panic attack
« Reply #46 on: November 03, 2009, 02:03:24 PM »
Just to note test was in the uk so surely 15weeks was enough time

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need advice please
« Reply #47 on: November 03, 2009, 02:45:59 PM »
Whatever is causing your off and on unwellness has nothing to do with HIV. A negative HIV result at 13 weeks (or 15 weeks) is relaible. Period.

You are worrying needlessly about HIV. If your symptoms are troubling you, discuss them with your doctor to find out the real cause.    

I've merged your threads. Keep all of your entries in this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2009, 02:48:28 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

 


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