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Author Topic: Disappointed  (Read 2095 times)

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Offline Texan38

  • Member
  • Posts: 686
Disappointed
« on: August 31, 2008, 10:00:57 PM »
I'm not exactly sure where to post this....I guess I'm just needing let my feelings out.
I've been trying to get out and meet people but it's not working. I went out to a bar last night, by myself, and there were some people next to me having a conversation. I couldn't help but listen, and someone made a joke so I laughed. The guy closest to me turned around, looked at me, turned back around and said to everyone with him "Ugh, let's move" and they all left. I felt terrible. I sat around for a little bit longer, the bar started getting crowded - I'd smile at guys but they would just look away. So I left.
Today, Sunday, my curious-bi-sexual-lesbian friend and I were supposed to go to a foam party but called saying she had been trying to get a hold of me for the past two hours, which I told her I haven't been on the phone since I reminded her she's the only person who calls. She then said maybe it was a wrong number she was dialing...anyway she changed her mind and didn't want to go.
So now I'm here at home.....I hate to admit it but I have an urge to go out and "look for some company"...(aka sex).  I just need to have some human contact.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to try to meet people -some other day, but tonight... I need to experience what I'm familiar with - and that's a one night stand.
Well, thanks for reading...I'm heading out..

Take Care!
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,457
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2008, 11:03:09 PM »
Texan38 -

Sorry to hear your feeling so down and lonely.

Sending a hug your way.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline dingowarrior

  • Member
  • Posts: 191
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2008, 11:31:31 PM »
Keep your head up dude..That kind of stuff happens to everybody at one point or another..Better days/nights are coming..Trust me.  ;)

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2008, 02:00:47 AM »
Shit happens. That should't stop you from circulating as much as possible.
Social activity will lead to connections.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2008, 03:26:45 AM »
I'm sorry you had to miss the foam party. Going out by yourself is never easy, but sometimes it's got to be done. If you keep going, eventually you'll meet a few guys you could call acquaintences. Once you get to chatting around a bit, you'll meet people.

A good fag-hag ( pardon the expression) helps.

I don't know that it's a smart move or not, but I don't smile at guys.  I'll check them out, but not much smiling. ;)

When I was quite young I used to go to my favorite club all the time and just stand around. One guy starting talking to me just to tell me I looked like I was judging every guy that went by ( I suppose I was, but just whether they were doable or not!) . We became bar friends, and so on and so on. Don't stop going out. Just don't try too hard, you know how gay guys are. Smaller local bars are better for meeting bar friends tho.

You're online now-get signed up!!

Gay bowling league around? Starts in the fall.

Anyway, sorry your friend blew you off today.

Paul

infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2008, 11:26:33 AM »
Hey there....
Hopefully you were not wearing a T shirt that read: "Life is a bitch and then you die."  ::)
Seriously....life is full of dissapointments and we just go on. I sent you a PM.

Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2008, 04:44:22 PM »
I'm not exactly sure where to post this....I guess I'm just needing let my feelings out.
I've been trying to get out and meet people but it's not working. I went out to a bar last night, by myself, and there were some people next to me having a conversation. I couldn't help but listen, and someone made a joke so I laughed.

Mark Honey,

You have to work the room.  I'm good at this, it is what I do... walk into the bar, (if alone) try to sit at a corner stool, order your drink and start making the jokes.  If you are happy (even if you are alone), you are showing other folks a good time.  Fun people will join you.  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,092
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2008, 08:34:12 PM »
Mark Honey,

You have to work the room.  I'm good at this, it is what I do... walk into the bar, (if alone) try to sit at a corner stool, order your drink and start making the jokes. 
Michael

Yes, or one could go into a bar, turn on a song with a good beat on the jukebox and start a nice strip-tease. ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Texan38

  • Member
  • Posts: 686
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2008, 08:53:34 PM »
Thank you all for your comments, they mean a lot to me.

Um, Betty, I already do that! Maybe my polka dotted florescent pink thong was too much?

I usually never smile at people because I'm afraid I might meet someone, as weird as that sounds...but that night, I thought why not?  That's not going to stop me from continuing my journey to meet people. I'm not going to give up that easily. That was a bad night and I'm sure there will be others and I'm also sure there will be some good nights ahead but if I don't continue trying things, how can I expect to change my life for the better?
So I'll just dust it off, keep my chin up and keep smilin'!  ;D

Oh, and um, by the way...I did go out last night and let's just say I did hook up with someone who helped me 'relax', safely of course.  ;)
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline SoSadTooBad

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2008, 12:11:42 AM »
Texan - take it from a guy who loves to go out alone and talk to random strangers - 3 out of 5 people you encounter aren't worth your time and energy.  Don't let a few shallow jerks change how you feel about yourself and the world around you.  Find a bar that you are comfortable in, and get to know the bartenders and staff.  You will slowly meet a lot of interesting people that way.  Certainly bars are not the only place to meet people - and perhaps not the best - but even a casual relationship with your favorite bartender will open doors and you will soon know dozens of interesting people.  (In the interest of full disclosure, I just came back from getting a few drinks at my local watering hole.)

Best of luck to you. 

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: Disappointed
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2008, 02:07:37 AM »
hey texan,

i like sadbuttrue's advice. a lot of people of the people at bars are jerks. thats why i get really drunk when i go out, it makes them all more tolerable (and its a great cover for my immoderate drinking : )).

dude, 85% or more of the people i smile at at bars turn away. you are not alone man. also, most of the people i smile at at work/while shopping/walking/farting etc... don't respond back or glance away. never really know whats going on in their heads but it sure can be a mindfuck at times.

with that said, if you are a happy smiley guy, continue to smile. i like smiles and honestly believe they improve everyone's facial value. and fuck those bitches who walked away -- obviously they weren't worth your time and did you a favor by vacating your space. i hate it when assholes like that take up good oxygen.

happy to hear you got some relaxation. keep us posted about your future outings.

best,
d
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
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jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
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