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Author Topic: Very scared please please help  (Read 3752 times)

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Offline mrscaredguy

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Very scared please please help
« on: August 30, 2008, 10:10:39 AM »
Hi I am really looking for a little help on all of this.  This is really having an effect on my mental health. 
I had unprotected sex with a person of unknown status two times during one night.  During this she bled.  I met her at a hotel I was staying at, and we were both there for work.  She was military as am I.  Either or this is the only real risky encounter I have had in my life, and it may not seem so bad other than she was crazy.  We were also very very intoxicated.   
 
I really mean that she was talking about how I was going to die alone (telling this to other people) and she was stalking me etc.  She even came to my room the night before I left to tell me I was going to die alone and to try to have sex again.  Saying things like “stds / hiv or not you would already have it why not again?” 

I am really scared I have had symptoms, which I know mean nothing but this is really messing with me.  I can’t sleep and when I do I wake up in the middle of the night and think I have HIV and can’t go back to sleep.  I have had dreams that I have hiv, and during the day it’s all I can think about.   

I went to a specialist after 21 days because I could not take it anymore.  He gave me an Elisa test and an RNA test.  The Elisa came back negative and the RNA came back non responsive <48 copies per ML.  The doctor told me there was no way I have it after that.  He also tested me for multipal stds all came back negative.

Either or I am still so scared, there is so much stuff out there on testing etc.  The CDC saying 9-11 days for RNA, some places saying 2 weeks, and some places saying 28 days.  I know I should believe the doctor but it seems everyone has their opinion on RNA.  I know I should get tested again, but I know I can’t take much more of what not knowing is doing to me.  I just want to know what the chances of RNA not showing up after 21 days.  I plan on going back to the doctor in a few days (it will be the 8 week mark), but please someone help me.

I know all this sounds childish but I am really scared.  It would not be so bad if I did not know that this lady seemed very off and capable of knowing she was hiv+ and still doing this.  She claimed she did not have it…  Please please help me
 
« Last Edit: August 30, 2008, 10:14:49 AM by mrscaredguy »

Offline Ann

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2008, 10:30:49 AM »
mr,

I agree with the doctor that it is highly unlikely that you were infected after having that negative RNA result. You should, however, confirm your negative status with an hiv antibody test at three months.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.


Next time (and any time after that), make sure you're wearing a condom so you don't have to go through all this worry.

I really do not expect your negative results to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2008, 02:26:04 PM »
Ann,

Thank you so much for the quick reply.  I am still very scared and worried but to hear it on here a little more comforting.  I have been reading and I know most members don’t approve of RNA testing, but I was thinking of going in on Tuesday to get tested again.

I can seriously not handle this as stated I can’t get this off my mind it is really messing with my head.  I was just curious if I took an Elisa and an RNA test at somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks and they both came back negative would I be able to essentially quit worrying. (Which would be this coming up week)

Like I said previously I know I sound so childish, but I really am so scared and stressed I have even stated to seek counseling on because of this.  I have spent every day since I made that mistake with an intense fear of impending doom.   I once again apologize for sounding childish, I know I can’t change what happened but I feel like I need to know it’s all I can think about.
 
Thanks so much for listening.

Offline Ann

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2008, 02:53:11 PM »
Mr,

Although the RNA tests have a much better track record than DNA test, they are both prone to false POSITIVES. However, the RNA are rarely wrong when they're negative - and they're usually only wrong if the test is done far too soon. You had yours done far enough into the window where it would have picked up evidence of the virus if it were present. I do NOT recommend you have another RNA test done. You don't need it. You also don't need the stress and worry of a FALSE positive.

You can do another antibody test at six weeks - because the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by then. A negative six week result still must be confirmed at three months.

At this point, in your specific case, you're more likely to walk outside your front door and find a multi-million winning lottery ticket lying in the gutter than you are to go on to test positive. Not only do you have negative RNA and antibody tests under your belt, but blood or no blood, crazy lady or no crazy lady, hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. The odds always were in your favour of coming out of this ok.

Forget an additional RNA. You only need antibody testing and I'm confident you'll test negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2008, 08:31:05 PM »
Ann,

I just wanted to say thanks for your help, I am really praying things will turn out ok.  I am also very sorry i sound so childish about all of this but i am really scared.  I also know I will never do what I did again.  I plan on going back to the Dr. on Tuesday I am really nervous about it though.  I just wanted to also say thanks for the support and doing what your doing with this site.  It is full of good information and it helps people like me.  I really really thank you for the support because like i have said i am just so scared and have no one to really turn to.  My first mental health apointment is not untill Friday.
God Bless

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2008, 08:44:12 PM »
OK so you had a bad experience with the woman you mentioned who sounds like a nutcase to me. That can really jangle your nerves for sure.

But as Ann has said your negative on the RNA, which is a highly sensitive test, is very unlikely to change. After all youhad only a single possible exposure. HIV is a fragile virus and significantly harder to transmit from female to male.

You do need to learn from this experience. You can have vaginal or anal intercourse with anyone regardless of their HIV status. But you always need to do it the safer way -- always without exception wearing a latex condom.

Talk it all out with the professional person you're seeing next week and in the meantime stay productively busy with other things in your life. It will make you a lot more comfortable to do that. Ultimately I expect you to come out of this experience ok.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2008, 06:09:49 PM »
Ok so I went to Dr yesteday.  He is an Infections Disease Dr and it is who I ave been going to.  Either or he did not want to give me another test, and said 100% there is no way I have it after the RNA test.  He said no if and or buts about it, there is no way I have it.  He also said that there is not even a reason for me to get retested after 3 months.  Either or he talked me out of getting tested again.

 But today i just could not deal with it I talked to that girl and it made me get scared all over again.  SO i went in today and got an antiboy test.

 I just wanted to see what you all thought of what the Dr. was saying.  My question is, is my Dr. correct or should I be going somewhere else?  It is just different from everything I have read. 


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2008, 06:14:41 PM »
I don't know of one doctor that would accept the results of just a PCR-RNA test.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2008, 12:37:59 PM »
I just figured I would keep everyone posted… 

As stated before I went and got another antibody test done it was done between the 7 and 8 week mark.  It came back negative…  I am really hoping I continue to come back that way…

I am still convinced that this lady was HIV+ and that I will end up being too.  Yea I know the odds are in my favor that I am not, but I also know odds don’t mean a thing.   I still plan on getting tested at the 13 week mark regardless of what the Infectious Disease doctor told me.  I also went to another doctor (because I was flipping out) that said it could take four years to show up.  (It’s crazy how the same body of knowledge is so vastly different depending on where you go) 

I think a lot of this is anxiety and guilt, but at the same time I did have “symptoms” which were not just in my head.  This whole experience has really messed with my head.  I am taking some really strong anti anxiety medicine that of course causes more symptoms…

I am just bothered by what RapidRod said… the Dr. I was going to was very knowledgeable.  I am just confused n the RNA test it detected down the 48 copies per ML.  In yalls opinion was 3 weeks long enough?

Either or I just wanted to say that you for being here to listen to idiots like me.  So far I have learned so much about this virus and the people living with it.  I am very sorry I had to post again before the 13 week mark, but don’t really have any where else to turn.  I hope everyone is well.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2008, 04:36:08 PM by mrscaredguy »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2008, 04:45:28 PM »
PCR-RNA tests are supplemental tests that are not stand alone tests. They are used in conjuction with an antibody test.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2008, 06:06:00 PM »
When you say in conjunction with an antibody test are you referring to an antibody test after 13 weeks? 

When I originally got tested I had an RNA test and an Antibody, as well tests for just about everything but herpes. 

Either or I know everyone here is knowledgeable on all of this.  Considering the area I am from the original Infections Disease doctor I saw was the most knowledgeable person around. 
 
I still plan on going back for a 13 week test for sure, but would still like to get some clarification on the RNA test and if 21 days would have detected anything.  I need to try to get all these ideas out of my head.

Once again thanks so much for what you all are doing.  I am calmer now than at the start and the information here is great.  Look at my case for example… I have been told be tested out for four years, one doctor said 10 to 12 years and told me not to worry about it, then the Infectious Disease doctors opinion.  The knowledge base defiantly varies.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2008, 06:16:46 PM »
Fortunately feelings are not facts and you "feeling" you will test positive and feeling the woman was HIV+ don't mean a thing.

The fact is you had a possible exposure and given your test results thus far I expect you to test negative at 13 weeks. Meanwhile, during the waiting period you need to keep as productively busy as possible. That will help the waiting time to pass more quickly than you imagine possible.

A negative at 13 weeks will give you a reliable result. All that stuff about a year or years is nonsense.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #12 on: September 18, 2008, 07:30:03 PM »
Please don’t laugh I am serious, scared, and maybe going crazy!!!
I am now scared I had another exposure to HIV…  I went to a test site I found on hivtest.org within my area that does a rapid test.  It was a Unigold test…  I then got scared they used a contaminated needle to stick me.  I went back the next day to get some clarification on the test as well as the lancet they used. 
He asked if I found them because of the website… well when I got home and went to the website and got scared.  Not to sound racist but they made it clear who their cliental is in their mission statement.  So yea I got scared and thought of all the what ifs.  I decided I needed to go back in the morning before work to get some clarification on the testing etc.
I go in and I talk to the same guy, and he was of course nice.  He told me about the test I took (how I found out it was a unigold) he let me see the lancets they use.  A disposable one time use that auto retracts after use and can not be used again.  But I don’t remember that being the lancet that was used on me.  And of course I start to flip out… I got a copy of my test results shake his hand be polite and say thank you and left.  During the conversation all sorts of racial undertones are mentioned on how hiv started from gay white males, and did not come from Africa, and did not come from monkeys.  They went on to talk about not believe what the government says.  (I swear they made it sound like there is a conspiracy on how the black population got exposed to it) 
I immediately went to the dr I had been going to get tested (the one who told me there was no way I have it and the same one that did not want to test me or see me again).  I talk to his RN and tell her what happened describe what I remember being used, and she said it sounded more like a personal use one not a disposable one.  She also said I should not have gone there…and it might be possible to intentionally infect me(granted I brought that part up because I told her about the place etc). SO yea I flip out and ask for PEP, she calls the doc he says no (he thinks I just want to get tested more)

She said she could not do it, but told me to go to the ER and tell them that I got stuck by a needle of a confirmed hiv+ person.  She takes shows me where the ER is and low and behold freedom is almost in my hand until they call my old doc…the specialist at the hosptial...  So I got shot down on getting it because they think I just want to get tested more…

So I went to another hospital and another ER and got it.  I mentioned what had happened before I did not go into details of what happened.  I told him I had a few hours before I reach 24 hours.  So Pep has been started… and I don’t know if it is just because I am crazy and scared…  I saw my psychiatrist today and she said she would prefer it if I was off, but also agreed that it would be possible, and also said she would make the period easier and wrote me some scripts. 

I think I am crazy because I think someone was trying to intentionally infect me.  Some one please say something, what should I do I am on day 3, side effects are moderate at worst I have an appointment next week with an infectious disease doctor who is going to monitor my blood levels etc.  I just want this nightmare to be over with. 
I wish I could reason my way out of this but what I was stuck with is not the same thing they said they stuck me with.  THAT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME…  There are definite racial undertones at this place that blame hiv on “white people and the government”.  The guy left the room for a minute and came back with the lancet…
So what are the chances has there ever been a single reported case of something like this. 
What are the chances of the virus being transferred by a lancet.  I know its 0.3% for sticks with hollow needles in the health care setting.  The ER doctor called the infectious disease Dr who said it was even less or a risk with lancets. He stated I would have to be the unluckiest person alive to get it from a lancet. 
Someone please help me, I know fear has the best of me.  But I am sure I am not delusional and what I remember being stuck with is not what they were suppose to use that is issued by the state which they said they stuck me with.  Yet the procedure was done by the book he wore gloves, wiped my finger down with alcohol before and after the stick and after the stick squeezed a good bit of blood out..  That would lower the chances right?
I don’t know what to believe any more I really need help I don’t want to pep because of the side effects they could have but I am scared of the what ifs…   WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!  Please help please give realistic advice that is not going to insult me for going to get PEP.  The RN even seemed concerned told me I should not have gone to that place called and asked the doc for pep, and they told me what I would have to do to get it.

 All I ever wanted to do was talk rationally to an infectious disease doctor about what could of happened and the likelihood.  I mean I was scared out of my mind, fear will make a person do anything.
SO PLEASE HELP ME (This place I went is an Aids Service Organization and I really want to believe they would not do that.)    

I was almost in the clear to now i feel like i am back before square one...  the 3 week elisa and rna mean nothing , the 7 week Elisa and the 8 week rna mean nothing any more...  If only the window was shorter i would have been in the clear... or if i had listened to my doctor to begin with... but its to late for what ifs... 

« Last Edit: September 18, 2008, 07:48:57 PM by mrscaredguy »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2008, 09:40:08 PM »
Seek professional mental help.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2008, 09:45:07 PM »
RapidRod,

I have i seriously have.  DO i have a risk?  Would an Aids Serivce Organization do such a thing?  I am scared out of my mind.  I am taking a drug that i likely dont need because i am scared of what could be.  Someone please tell me that kind of thing does not happen. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2008, 09:47:47 PM »
No one would reuse a lancet to give a test nor a needle. Again seek professional mental help.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2008, 09:59:27 PM »
RapidRod,

So you say there would have been no way that i could have gotten infected by geting that test done?  I really dont want to take this stuff that i am taking... but that little doubt in my mind that chance of what if.  Should i quit taking it?  I need honest advice i know you think i am nuts and crazy and yes i am seeking mental help.  I had an appointment i went to today.  So can you say you guarantee that i did not have an exposure from the lancet from an Aids Service Organization found on www.hivtest.org?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2008, 10:03:54 PM »
We don't do "what ifs" on this forum.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2008, 10:06:36 PM »
so then you are saying it is possible?  I am on combivir and i know its not a good thing.  so should i keep taking it or not?  Does a what if warrent it? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #19 on: September 18, 2008, 10:13:22 PM »
Continue to seek professional mental help. You were advised as when to test come back after your last test.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2008, 10:22:29 PM »
What about the combivir i am on does that change my window now?  Do i keep taking it for 28 days or do i quit? Has my window now changed?  I am very serious about all of this I just need some help from someone who knows.  Did i over react?  I just need an honest outside opinion because i am thinking that I did, and taking this stuff is not likely a good idea is it?
Would i be the first person that you have heard of getting it by being tested?  (hypothetically if i got it)
I know you say seek mental help and I AM i am now on all sorts of stuff after i told her what happened and my reaction to it...
So please in your honest opinion given what i have said should i continue to take combivir? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #21 on: September 18, 2008, 10:44:58 PM »
You were never at risk from getting an HIV test. End of story.

Offline mrscaredguy

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2008, 11:03:11 PM »
Thanks, so i am assuming you are saying combivir can be stopped? 
i am at a point where i know i am pretty irrational and need to hear views from the outside.

Offline Ann

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Re: Very scared please please help
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2008, 06:45:19 AM »
Mr,

Wow, dude. Wow. You're on PEP because you got an hiv test? Wow. Both you and the doctor who prescribed you PEP need some serious help.

You've been told repeatedly - by your own doctor as well as this website - that after a negative RNA PCR you're highly unlikely to be infected. Now you're taking PEP over a test lancet because of some racist conspiracy theory? You're WAY beyond our remit.

I'm giving you a time out. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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