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Author Topic: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving  (Read 15891 times)

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Offline Gonzo87

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Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« on: August 21, 2008, 01:35:36 PM »
About two months ago I had a brief encounter with a random girl of unkown status.  Plenty of alcohol was involved, I let my guard down, and I ended up fingering her for about 10-15 seconds.  Now, I understand that masturbation is a safe sex act that does not transmit HIV (hence why I even engaged in it in the first place), but I later realized that I had a cut about half an inch long on my finger that was about 4 days into the healing process.

Now, I'm well aware that fingering even with a healing cut would be considered extremely low risk or even no risk at all, but I still have trouble shaking off the fear that I somehow could've been the exception in this case.  I constantly worry that perhaps the cut wasn't healed enough to protect me from potential infection.

Secondly, about 2 weeks later I experienced a really nasty migraine for about 4 days along with some constipation, upper abdominal pain, and a bit of nausea.  On the 3rd/4th day in particular the migraine was really intense, with pain on both sides of the head and in my eye sockets (considerable amount of pain when I shifted my eyes from side to side or up and down), and some nausea.  I barely got any sleep that night for how bad the pain was.  The next day I got some codine tablets from the drug store though and the migraine went away.   I'm well aware that you can't diagnose your HIV chances by symptoms alone, but just the fact that they occured within the ARS period really freaked me out.

I know I'm probably overreacting with this incident, but it still constantly lingers in the back of my mind.  Today I'm gonna go see my family doctor and get his opinion on the matter, and possibly get tested.  I'm already fearing the worst and I just hope that everything pans out well in the end.


Anyone got any words of encouragement?  :-[
« Last Edit: August 21, 2008, 02:39:20 PM by Gonzo87 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2008, 02:50:17 PM »
I wouldn't even consider this to be an incident which required testing. HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It doesn't happen in the manner you're concerned about. The cut you had would have been well closed at four days even if it may not have appeared so to the naked eye. It's a situation in which transmission is theoretically possible but in the real world of HIV we know it doesn't happen in the manner you are concerned about.

If these are the only incidents you're concerned about you're testing negative is a slam dunk.

Keep us posted. Good luck. 

Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #2 on: August 21, 2008, 04:58:40 PM »
Well, my doctor pretty much agrees with what you're saying.  He too felt the incident was incredibly low risk, especially considering how the fact that my cut was already a few days into the healing process.  He told me that taking the test was more of a precautionary measure to ease my mind, but he was very confident that everything was gonna turn up fine in the end and that I shouldn't lose any sleep over it.  He also felt that my migraine episode wasn't relevant.

I'm gonna have to wait till Monday to find out my results, so needless to say it might be a bit of a difficult weekend until then.  The visit did reassure me a bit though. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2008, 06:57:22 PM »
Stay productively busy with other matters between now and Monday and you will be amazed at how much more quickly and easily the time can pass. Really.

I expect you to get a happy negative result.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #4 on: August 21, 2008, 07:37:11 PM »
Thanks for your words of encouragement, Andy.  It truly does mean a lot to me.  The anxiety I get from fearing the worst possible outcome does tend to get the better of me I will admit.  Sometimes I can simply shrug it off, meanwhile other times it completely takes me over.  I guess what really put me over the edge was when I had those bad migraine/constipation/stomach ache symptoms during that one week though, and that just made me think the worst possible thing.

I do trust in your words as an expert on the subject though, and I do you and others when you say that there is no risk and nothing to worry about for my particular situation.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #5 on: August 21, 2008, 09:01:50 PM »
We ain't kiddin', and we wouldn't say it unless we meant it.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #6 on: August 21, 2008, 09:45:11 PM »
lol, I believe it! 

One more question for you.  I spoke to a nurse that told me that most minor cuts experience sufficient healing within the first 24-48 hrs.  Is this true?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2008, 09:56:12 PM »
I would say less than 24 hours is closer to the mark. Although not visible to the naked eye, the skin begins forming a clear protection very, very quickly after there is a break in the skin.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2008, 10:26:51 PM »
And that would be enough time to protect us from potential infections?  That truly is something amazing.  It's incredible to see just how fast our bodies are able to regenerate, even in spite of what is visible to us.  :o

Offline Ann

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #9 on: August 22, 2008, 07:50:49 AM »
Gonzo,

Fingering is not a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you certainly won't be the first.

Make sure you read our posting guidelines and click on the Transmission Lesson linked to in the Welcome Thread

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2008, 02:21:46 PM »
Thanks Ann, I appreciate the reassurance. 

The worst thing about it is that over the past couple of months I've kept putting ridiculous notions into my head like "what if the cut was't healed quite enough?", or "what if she was still bleeding a little bit inside her vagina?" and so forth. I know they're far fetched questions to be asking, but they're ideas that constantly circulate through my head.  It's as though once I'm assured that there's nothing to worry about from my situation, I look for something else to make me panic. 

I suppose my paranoia is my own cross to bear.  I can tell you that on some days it is indeed a very heavy cross though lol

Offline Ann

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #11 on: August 22, 2008, 02:49:42 PM »
Gonzo,

I deleted the post you left in another person's thread. If you'd read the Welcome Thread like I asked you to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

You didn't have a risk through fingering. If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, test and collect your inevitable negative result. However, you won't be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about your no-risk event.

Please consider yourself warned - on both counts.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #12 on: August 22, 2008, 02:52:04 PM »
My apologies.  DIdn't mean to rock the boat.  WOn't happen again.

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2008, 10:06:35 AM »
Well folks, tomorrow morning I should be getting my test results.  Needless to say, I still am quite nervous even in spite of all the reassurance I've gotten from you.  I know it's probably foolish on my part to be so paranoid about such a low risk encounter, but nevertheless it's difficult not to be somewhat nervous considering the seriousness of the situation.  I keep reminding myself that fingering, even in spite of my cut, is an extremely low risk act (or no risk at all).  Then I keep thinking things like "what if the cut wasn't healed enough", or "what if there was some menstrual blood that I didn't notice", etc.    Then there's that period of migraine headaches and sharp stomach pains about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks after the encounter keeps sticking out in my mind; making me think "what if" they were symptoms of ARS.  Perhaps I should stop reading about this stuff on the net and just try to relax, lol. 

In any case, thank you all very much for your support through all this either way.  Hopefully I can return the favour by announcing a good result tomorrow afternoon.  Wish me luck  :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #14 on: August 24, 2008, 10:28:44 AM »
Perhaps I should stop reading about this stuff on the net and just try to relax, lol. 

[/quote]

The above sounds like a very, very good idea. Get busy with other things today.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #15 on: August 24, 2008, 10:49:20 AM »
Perhaps I should stop reading about this stuff on the net and just try to relax, lol. 



The above sounds like a very, very good idea. Get busy with other things today.

Lol, indeed.  Anxiety and obsession getting the better of me I suppose.  If I wasn't aware of what "ARS" was and I didn't experience those symptoms to begin with I wouldn't even have considered the idea of getting tested to begin with. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2008, 11:39:10 AM »
Lol, indeed.  Anxiety and obsession getting the better of me I suppose.  If I wasn't aware of what "ARS" was and I didn't experience those symptoms to begin with I wouldn't even have considered the idea of getting tested to begin with. 

Yes, well now that you know what you know, get busy with other things ANYWAY.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2008, 12:31:03 PM »
You guys are that confident that I'm gonna be ok?

It doens't matter that I didn't wash my hands immediately after does it?
« Last Edit: August 24, 2008, 03:22:06 PM by Gonzo87 »

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Getting Tested Today. Worried...
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2008, 08:17:02 AM »
Hey guys,

Got my test results back today, which both came back NEGATIVE for HIV and Hepatitis B.  I just wanna say thank you to both Andy and Ann for their help and reassurance during this period, and thanks for having so much patience in putting up with my anxiety and paranoia.  You guys are doing a great thing by providing your support and knowledge through this website to people that need it the most.  Thank you very much again and best of luck to all of you in the future.

Offline Gonzo87

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Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #19 on: October 04, 2010, 11:34:40 AM »
Hello,

Based on what I've read from various experts on the web, oral sex is considering to be an extremely low-risk act in terms of HIV transmission.  Many doctors on website such as medhelp.org would evaluate the "risk" factor as being 1 in 10,000, or even 1 in 20,000 for those who are performing oral (doing the sucking). 

With that in mind, could we easily assume that a male receiving oral (being sucked) is at an even lower risk for any potential transmission?  Have there been tests conducted between an HIV positive person performing oral on non-infected person to further assess the chances of transmission?

Thanks!

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #20 on: October 04, 2010, 12:14:07 PM »
Gonzo,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.





There is no way you're going to become infected through someone sucking you. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

I know what your next question will be - what about blood in the mouth?

Unless you're in the habit of repeatedly punching a person in the mouth before they blow you, there could not possibly be enough blood present to cause any concern whatsoever.

Not one person has ever been infected through getting a blowjob and you are certainly not going to be the first.

By the way, those 1 in whatever numbers are a load of hooie. The websites that use those numbers are citing the CDC. The CDC arrived at those numbers using one, single discredited study. They're inaccurate and all they do is encourage people to play russian roulette with their sexual health.

Here's what you need to know in order to protect your negative hiv status:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER GETTING A BLOWJOB, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #21 on: October 04, 2010, 12:27:33 PM »
Thanks for the feedback, Ann.  Was just something that I always pondered, but never really bothered to get much clarity on.  You tend to find a lot of conflicting evidence online, but as you said, sources like CDC tend to exaggerate the theories a tad (I'm sure their motives are good though).  Thanks for the prompt and in-depth response though.

Lastly, you mentioned the ability of human saliva to eliminate HIV's infectious properties.  Therefore, we can confidently say that if someone had minor amounts of blood in their mouth (for example, some slight bleeding in the gums from brushing of the teeth), that the saliva would do a good enough job in eliminating any potential of infection?  Would the fact that the inside of the mouth is constantly being exposed to air also help in eliminating the infectious properties?

Thanks for the educated feedback :)

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2010, 12:51:35 PM »
Gonzo,

See? I just knew you'd have blood-in-the-mouth questions!

You're correct. Saliva would disable any blood in the mouth from brushing or flossing or whatever. That's why I said you'd have to repeatedly punch the person in the mouth before they blew you for there to be enough blood to be of even the slightest concern.

The mouth is a very inhospitable place not only for hiv, but for many other pathogens besides. Otherwise, we'd be sick all the time.

You can get as many blowjobs as you want are able to get and never have one worry about being infected with hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2010, 01:06:57 PM »
Gonzo,

See? I just knew you'd have blood-in-the-mouth questions!

You're correct. Saliva would disable any blood in the mouth from brushing or flossing or whatever. That's why I said you'd have to repeatedly punch the person in the mouth before they blew you for there to be enough blood to be of even the slightest concern.

The mouth is a very inhospitable place not only for hiv, but for many other pathogens besides. Otherwise, we'd be sick all the time.

You can get as many blowjobs as you want are able to get and never have one worry about being infected with hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

I'll admit..I lol'd :P

Thanks again for the information :D

Offline Gonzo87

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Fingering and Menstrual Blood...
« Reply #24 on: March 31, 2011, 10:17:49 AM »
Hello,

I've read up on some older threads on this form, and it seems pretty safe to say that fingering or mutual masterbation is a no-risk sexual activity.  My question involves an extra variable though, which is fingering someone who happens to be menstruating at the same time...

I had an encounter with someone that I've known for many years that involved me fingering her for a few minutes.  During the fingering I noticed a considerable amount of blood on my fingers, and it turned out that she had unknowingly gotten her period.  Upon realizing this I washed my hands with anti-bacterial soap.  She isn't someone that lives a very care-free sexual lifestyle, and she assured me that during her previous brief relationship she always practiced safe sex, and that I had nothign to worry about.

Now once again I realize fingering or mutual masterbation is a safe practice, and I also know that the chances of her even having anything is practically zero as well.   I suppose that seeing the blood on my fingers has made me somewhat skeptical in regards to just how safe it might've been though.  I didn't have any noticeable cuts or sores on my fingers at the time either by the way. 

Thanks for your feedback! :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #25 on: March 31, 2011, 10:31:04 AM »
I've merged your threads here. Our rule is to keep all of your entries in a single thread. Please follow that in the future.

You've been coming here long enough to know that you had another non-risk incident. Let's just keep this simple. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms everytime for those activities and you will be well protected.

You could have HIV+ blood on your fingers and have nicks and such and it wouldn't make any difference in terms of risk. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in that manner. Period.  

You need to get into the habit of applying what has been said to you in the past to your ongoing sexual experiences.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #26 on: March 31, 2011, 10:35:09 AM »
I've merged your threads here. Our rule is to keep all of your entries in a single thread. Please follow that in the future.

You've been coming here long enough to know that you had another non-risk incident. Let's just keep this simple. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Use condoms everytime for those activities and you will be well protected.

You could have HIV+ blood on your fingers and have nicks and such and it wouldn't make any difference in terms of risk. HIV is a fragile virus and is not transmitted in that manner. Period.  

You need to get into the habit of applying what has been said to you in the past to your ongoing sexual experiences.

Thank you.  Unlike previous cases, I'm not so much paranoid this time around, but more inquisitive than anything else.  I just really wanted to get some clarity on whether or not the risk factor would change in the event that menstrual blood was thrown into the mix.  I think I was more shocked and caught off guard by the sight of it than anything else, and it might've sparked a bit of concern or skepticism on my part.  I'm assuming that it can't be transmitted via underneath the fingernails either then in that case, correct?

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #27 on: March 31, 2011, 12:57:22 PM »
Gonzo,

When we tell you that fingering is not a risk for hiv infection regardless of whatever extra details you can think of, that includes fingernails. Fingernails are part of the finger, after all. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #28 on: March 31, 2011, 09:05:04 PM »
Gonzo,

When we tell you that fingering is not a risk for hiv infection regardless of whatever extra details you can think of, that includes fingernails. Fingernails are part of the finger, after all. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann

Thanks Ann.  I really just wanted to make sure that the menstrual blood wouldn't have made a difference.  I appreciate the reassurance :)

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #29 on: April 01, 2011, 02:53:10 PM »
So just to confirm one last time, the heavy menstrual blood on my fingers from the intense fingering wouldn't make any difference?  Even if they were inserted for a few minutes?

P.S. Promise this will be the last of my inquiries...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #30 on: April 01, 2011, 02:57:01 PM »
No, it wouldn't make any difference. It did not put you at risk for HIV. Period. (no pun intended there).
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #31 on: April 07, 2011, 12:49:36 AM »
Visited my doctor a few days ago regarding this incident, just to get his feedback into the situation as well. I explained to him the presence of menstrual blood during the incident, and he too felt it was nothing I should really be concerned about.   He didn't think that testing would really be merited, unless of course it was to put my mind at ease and alleviate my worries.  I think I'm gonna go back in about a month from now (6 weeks post "exposure") to get tested, hoping to put these fears to rest once and for all...


Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #32 on: April 07, 2011, 07:44:41 AM »
Gonzo,

Don't be too shocked by your negative result - because that is exactly what you're going to get.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #33 on: April 07, 2011, 12:37:51 PM »
Thanks, Ann.  I hope so.  I know that my fears are due more to anxiety than anything else, but I just can't help it.  I guess the fact that blood was incorporated into the mix made me a bit more uneasy than usual.  I might've had a very tiny little nick or cut in my skin as well (size of the head of a pin), although it wasn't deep or particularly fresh.  Anyways, I know I'm just stressing useless details here, but I guess I just need that reassurance that only a negative result can give me.

So in this situation, even if a person DID happen to have HIV, the risk factor is still non-existent in my case?

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #34 on: April 07, 2011, 01:38:55 PM »
Gonzo,

Every single risk assessment we give in this forum assumes the other person is hiv positive.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #35 on: April 07, 2011, 03:17:33 PM »
Are Angular Chielitis (sp?) and UTI's potential ARS symptopms by any chance?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #36 on: April 07, 2011, 05:49:12 PM »
No, they are not. And neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms should ever be the basis for knowing HIV status.

Only an HIV test taken at the proper time can give that answer reliably if there has been a genuine risk.

Which I hasten to add that you haven't had.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #37 on: April 11, 2011, 12:44:39 PM »
Hey Everyone,

I've explained my incident to other medical professionals, who have also told me that they see it as being essentially "non-risk".  This has helped to alleviate some of my fears, but needless to say it is still something that is always at the back of my mind.  I read in another thread that the vaginal secretions that contain HIV are typically found around the cervix.  When I was doing the fingering, I happen to remember getting in there pretty deep, pretty much touching that "ball" at the very back of the cavity, so if in the event this person was HIV+, and I did happen to have a tiny wound on my finger, wouldn't that make me more susceptible? 

Secondly, it is said that HIV cannot survive outside of its host, and needs to be within a warm environment for it to remain active (such as inside the vagina or anus for example).  If I was fingering her for a few moments, and my fingers had remained inside of her vagina for that entire time, wouldn't that potentially increase the risk seeing as how the menstrual blood or her vaginal secretions didn't come in contact with the air during that time?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #38 on: April 11, 2011, 01:12:48 PM »
Clearly you are caught up in HIV fears and you continue to feed those fears by surfing the net, which is a very bad idea.

We're not going to indulge you further in with every what if and but maybe that comes up for you. If you decide to test it is strictly for your peace of mind. As your doctor, Ann and I have all said, you are worrying needlessly.

I am going to warn you that if you continue to return with more of this mental handwringing you're going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site. Consider yourself warned.   
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #39 on: April 11, 2011, 02:01:26 PM »
Understood, Andy.  I apologize for being somewhat of a nuissance.  Anxiety tends to get the better part of me regarding this I suppose, especially dealing with "what if's" and hypothetical situations.  I think I'll go next week (4 weeks post exposure) to get tested, just to put my mind at ease.  I know it won't be conclusive at 4 weeks, but a potential negative result may calm me down somewhat nonetheless.  If I'm still paranoid after that, then I will follow up with it at the 8-week mark.

My apologies once again...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #40 on: April 11, 2011, 02:32:53 PM »
OK. And in the meantime you have to make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #41 on: April 11, 2011, 02:44:24 PM »
I'm trying...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #42 on: April 11, 2011, 04:45:38 PM »
Yours is a very common overreaction of fears and doubts when a guy has strayed from a relationship. So the real problem is not a genuine risk for HIV but rather guilt.

You did what you did. That's done and can't be undone. But fortunately doubts and fears are not facts. And the facts of your situation point clearly to a negative test result for you. You're a dog like a lot of us here. Take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #43 on: April 11, 2011, 05:53:28 PM »
Thank you Andy.  I would just never want to put someone I love so much at any kind of risk because I couldn't fight off temptation. Especially when this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and start a family with...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #44 on: April 11, 2011, 06:08:39 PM »
Understood, bud. Fortunately guilt is about feelings and not facts.

You can't pass a virus you don't have and you have not done anything to put you at risk for the sexual transmission of HIV.

A good thing to do for your relationship is to take a breath, accept what happened, let it go and get on with your life.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #45 on: April 11, 2011, 06:44:30 PM »
Ya, the guilt is a back breaker.  I just hope that that's all it is at this point.  Sometimes I'm feeling ok, then the next thing you know I start to think about it a little too deeply and I get scared again.  It makes it so difficult for me to concentrate on anything anymore. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #46 on: April 11, 2011, 06:52:33 PM »
Keeping busy with other things in your life will help. And those pellets if fear that explode in your head from time to time don't change the non-risk facts of the situation.

Remind yourself of that.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #47 on: April 11, 2011, 06:55:58 PM »
Definitely gonna try my best to do that.  I think the fear really spiked when I noticed that I got what appeared to be a case of Angular Cheilitis about a week after the incident, and my girlfriend came down with what appeared to be a minor UTI (lasted about a day or two) after we had sex.  Immediately, probably ARS symptoms came into my head, and just snowballed from there.  I know symptoms should not be analyzed at all when trying to diagnose HIV, but it's hard to overlook them when they tend to happen immediately following an incident.

Gonna try to do what I can to not think about it though...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #48 on: April 11, 2011, 09:56:33 PM »
When you notice you're worried, take note and then move on to the next thought. Those thoughts only stick when you panic and try to push them away.  Have the thought, let it be and then let the next one come. You'll see. That works.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #49 on: May 05, 2011, 01:16:43 PM »
Hey everyone,

Decided to bite the bullet today and went to get tested (6 weeks post "exposure").  I understand based on what you were all kind enough to tell me that my situation was non-risk and I shouldn't be worried.  I guess this is just my way of trying to deal with my anxiety and get the fear out of my mind once and for all (reassurance and closure always helps).  The doc told me not to expect my results until Monday, so needless to say it's gonna be a pretty loooong weekend weekend for me lol.  Lets just hope for the best case scenario...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #50 on: May 05, 2011, 02:33:14 PM »
ok.

Giving your history here I am coming around to thinking you ought to be seeing a therapist or other professional to discuss your consistently unwarranted and excessive fears about HIV. We can't help you with that problem in this setting.

Of course you're going to test negative (again).
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #51 on: May 05, 2011, 02:45:36 PM »
ok.

Giving your history here I am coming around to thinking you ought to be seeing a therapist or other professional to discuss your consistently unwarranted and excessive fears about HIV. We can't help you with that problem in this setting.

Of course you're going to test negative (again).

I've been considering it as well, I won't lie. A lot of it stems from associating specific "symptoms" to potential HIV infection automatically.  I understand fully that no symptoms are HIV or ARS specific, and that certain things can be attributable to a million other factors, but I just have a tendency to automatically assume the worst and associate it with HIV. 

Throughout my history, I would never have any fears regarding a sexual encounter until one of these symptoms pops up, then I'd start to panic.  This was the case with my angular cheilitis, which appeared just over a week after my encounter.  I did my research, and I know that angular cheilitis is only attributable to either HIV infection in the much later stages, or full blown AIDS, yet still it continued to sit in the back of my mind as a "what if" type of thing. 

Of course, there is also the fear of getting someone I love sick due to my irresponsible stupidity.  Now whenever she complains about not feeling too good, I tend to start panicking again out of fear that it's my fault.

Anyways, I understand that my fears are irrational and are heavily attributed to anxiety.  I just want to (hopefully) collect this negative result, and then seek some couselling aftewards...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #52 on: May 05, 2011, 06:40:51 PM »
I've made the suggestion. The rest is up to you.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #53 on: May 05, 2011, 06:41:33 PM »
Gonzo,

Don't bother posting more anxious posts over the weekend. You're going to test negative and to be honest, we're not going to hold your hand over this NO RISK incident.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #54 on: June 03, 2011, 11:05:33 AM »
Hey everyone.  Never got around to posting the result of my test, so here it is:

At 41 days post "exposure" my tests for HIV and Hep B came back NEGATIVE, which is obviously a huge relief for me.

Before I leave leave this forum though (and hopefully FOR GOOD, as I am looking to seek counselling) I have one other questions I'm hoping to get feedback about.

How likely is it that a bad throat infection (heavily swollen around the neck) accompanied by a minor fever is a symptom of ARS?  The same weekend I got my test results I also happened to suck and lick the shoulder/neck of a girl I had just met in a club of unknown status.  I know full well that oral contact with the skin is a no-risk situation, but I just found it to be incredibly coincidental that just over a week later I came down with a bad throat infection.  Is this purely coincidental, and more likely attributed to common bacterial infections like strep throat and bronchitis, therefor I'm just panicking needlessly as usual?

Thanks.  I will now wait in anticipation for one of you to rip into me and potentially give me a 4 week timeout  :P :-[

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #55 on: June 03, 2011, 05:21:31 PM »
Hey everyone.  Never got around to posting the result of my test, so here it is:

At 41 days post "exposure" my tests for HIV and Hep B came back NEGATIVE, which is obviously a huge relief for me.

Before I leave leave this forum though (and hopefully FOR GOOD, as I am looking to seek counselling) I have one other questions I'm hoping to get feedback about.

How likely is it that a bad throat infection (heavily swollen around the neck) accompanied by a minor fever is a symptom of ARS?  The same weekend I got my test results I also happened to suck and lick the shoulder/neck of a girl I had just met in a club of unknown status.  I know full well that oral contact with the skin is a no-risk situation, but I just found it to be incredibly coincidental that just over a week later I came down with a bad throat infection.  Is this purely coincidental, and more likely attributed to common bacterial infections like strep throat and bronchitis, therefor I'm just panicking needlessly as usual?

Thanks.  I will now wait in anticipation for one of you to rip into me and potentially give me a 4 week timeout  :P :-[
 

From  your own comments in this latest rant it's obvious you already know you weren't at risk. We're not going to continue to indulge you here. If you return again with anymore of these what ifs and other nonsense you are going to get the Time Out about which you have been warned. Cut out the drama and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #56 on: July 24, 2011, 01:21:04 PM »
Hi everyone,

A few days ago I had another unprotected oral sex exposure with the same "friend" from a few months ago (who I initially tested negative with after the first time), and once again I was the receptive party in the encounter (I didn't go down on her).  I know that between our previous encounter up till now she has been with one other person, but she swears by her life that she's always engaged in protected sex and always uses a condom.  I have very little reason not to believe her as she's been a good friend of mine for quite some time, but of course irrational fears will always be just that: IRRATIONAL.  The only other thing we engaged in was mutual masturbation, where I fingered her vagina and her anus for a few seconds.

Is this still considered to essentially be a 100% safe sex encounter as far as HIV is concerned?  Does today's most recent scientific research still maintain the argument that oral sex is a non-risk sexual activity? Numerous times you have mentioned that the studies were conducted with straight and gay couples (one positive, one negative) and that not one case of infection via unprotected oral sex was reported from these studies.  Does this include couples where the infected party was no on treatment as well?

I'd have to say that my may concern in this case was that she had performed unprotected oral sex on her previous partner only a few weeks (or even a fed DAYS) before me, in which case she could be newly infected herself.  I've read that someone is more prone to infecting someone else when they are newly infected themselves.  Is this true?  

Thanks for your help (and patience).

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #57 on: July 24, 2011, 01:24:49 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #58 on: July 24, 2011, 01:29:37 PM »
I'm really just trying to get a more comprehensive understanding of the scientific research done.  Everyone from you lovely folks of this forum, to my own family doctor has told me that the best way to understand HIV and its various risk factors is to get EDUCATED on it.  THis is essentially what I'm trying to do right now.  I want to understand the disease and its various risk factors based on the scientific research conducted, that's it that's all.  If you want to issue me a timeout based on my desire to learn more then so be it.  I'm really not trying to rock the boat here though.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #59 on: July 24, 2011, 02:11:28 PM »
Well you already know our evaluation about oral sex as we have been through that with you quite thoroughly. And we're not going to go through it all again. You can always re-read the previous exchanges.

We're not here to serve as a reference library. Essentially we focus on specific incidents and experiences and evaluate the level of risk (or non-risk) involved.

So if you are interested in some overall study of HIV, that is something you need to do on your own. We're not here for that.

Your latest oral experience is essentially again a non-risk situation.

Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #60 on: July 24, 2011, 02:34:38 PM »
Fair enough and pointt well made.  Your assessmeents of these incidents are based on resent research studies though, correct? I'm not asking for u to provide me with actual references, but rather just aa bit of clarity on how you gathered your information.  Thanks again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #61 on: July 24, 2011, 02:40:33 PM »
Fair enough and pointt well made.  Your assessmeents of these incidents are based on resent research studies though, correct? I'm not asking for u to provide me with actual references, but rather just aa bit of clarity on how you gathered your information.  Thanks again.

Responses to concerns are based on up-to-date HIV science along with decades of experience working in the epidemic.

You're welcome.
Andy Velez

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #62 on: August 16, 2011, 11:47:54 AM »
Hi everyone,

I know that you have pretty much gotten fed up of me any my paranoia at this point, but unfortunately I just can't shake this recent fear that I have.  Over a month ago I was at a strip club with a couple of friends after a night of drinking, and decided to get a private dance.  Now, I had sobered up quite a bit by that time because we had stopped drinking a couple of hours prior and I ate a huge meal in order to help absorb the alcohol a bit.  I was relatively coherent (I remember most the night in rather vivid detail), but I am starting to question just how responsible my actions were...

I remember getting a few dances from her that included me licking/sucking her nipples, as well as caressing her over her panties.  Now, I even remember her explaining the rules on our way to the private booth, and she even stopped me when I went to touch her underneath her panties.  Yet still, I am convinced that I penetrated her without a condom on at some point and merely forgot about it or blocked out the memory.  I know it seems ridiculous, but I've been losing sleep over it. 

The main reason is because that same night when I got home and "relieved" myself I noticed some blood in my ejaculatory fluid.  It was darkish, and somewhat stringy.  I didn't think much of it when I saw it because I knew I had undergone a physical and HIV test a few weeks prior, and there was nothing that I did that night for me to be alarmed.  Hell, it wasn't until maybe a couple of weeks ago that my brain started going on over drive about the whole thing.  Now I'm thinking though that alcohol might've clouded my judgment and made me forget that I had done something potentially risky. 

I'm really tripping over this and I am just so afraid of getting my partner sick somehow over 1 night of drunken foolishness. I haven't been able to sleep or eat as a result over the past couple of weeks as a result, and I'm abstaining from having sex with my partner in the meantime.

You guys don't have to respond, or you can delete this thread entirely, but I just needed to let it out.  Thanks, and good day to all of your.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #63 on: August 16, 2011, 12:05:17 PM »
I sincerely hope you get the help you need. These experiences should not be costing you sleep or causing you anziety.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #64 on: August 16, 2011, 12:35:02 PM »
I sincerely hope you get the help you need. These experiences should not be costing you sleep or causing you anziety.



I agree with you 110%.  It's gotten out of control.  I honestly think I'd be handling better if I actually KNEW I did something risky.  At least I can sit down, evaluate my odds, and just accept whatever my fate is.  In this case though it's nerve racking because I don't even know for certain whether or not I actually DID something to begin with.  I don't know if my fears are legitamate, or if I'm just putting thoughts and scenario's into my head (surely wouldn't be the first time).  I don't possibly see how I could completely wipe something like that out of my memory, yet remember detailed moments of that night such as conversations, what I was wearing, to even what my tab was at the end of the night!  I know that had I actually done something stupid, my mind immediately would've went off as soon as I saw that blood-like substance in my ejac.  For that matter, considering my incredible fear of HIV, I don't see how I would even allow myself to have unprotected sex with a stripper, drunk or not! 

What I do know is that I've been driving myself up a wall about this, even to the point where I've broken down into tears.  I'm forcing myself to go for yet another test just so I can ease my mind, but it's been a difficult road to say the least.  I don't expect any sympathy from anyone because I know it must be just as frustrating to read about this nonsense as it is for me to be typing it.  I just can't keep it to myself as its only been making things harder.

Thank you anyways...

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #65 on: August 17, 2011, 06:14:01 PM »
I can't do this anymore...

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #66 on: August 17, 2011, 06:30:07 PM »
I think it might be wise for you to avoid this and other HIV web sites while you work with a therapist on this irrational fear.

And for the record, you can do this. You can do what you decide you can do. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, but you do realize you are conversing with people who have lived with HIV and AIDS for decades? If we can do that, you can survive the torture of your own fears.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #67 on: August 18, 2011, 11:06:00 AM »
I think it might be wise for you to avoid this and other HIV web sites while you work with a therapist on this irrational fear.

And for the record, you can do this. You can do what you decide you can do. Forgive me if I sound insensitive, but you do realize you are conversing with people who have lived with HIV and AIDS for decades? If we can do that, you can survive the torture of your own fears.



I truly do apologize for this.  I should be more sensitive to the fact that you have all been dealing with this for many years.  I can imagine that hearing rants such as mine can be rather annoying and at times flat out unbearable.  I'm trying really, really hard to get it together and try to shake this worry.  I'm very, very sorry once again...

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #68 on: August 18, 2011, 12:00:33 PM »
Hypothetically speaking, if I were infected what would be the likeliness of me infecting another person if they were to perform oral sex on me an they SWALLOWED my ejaculate?

Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #69 on: August 18, 2011, 12:11:18 PM »
We're not interested in hypothetical questions. As of now you are NOT HIV positive.

As you have been told ad nauseum, the only confirmed sexual risks for the transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

I can tell you were are not going to embark on another round of what ifs with you.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #70 on: August 18, 2011, 12:13:08 PM »
Gonzo,

How many times do you have to be told that oral isn't a risk?

Enough is enough already. I'm giving you that long over-due time out you've been repeatedly warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Please get yourself a good therapist to deal with your irrational hiv anxiety. We cannot - and will not - help you with that here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #71 on: August 17, 2012, 11:28:53 AM »
Hi Everyone,

Regrettably I am back with what is likely another unwarranted concern.  About 2 months ago I had an experience with an Asian CSW in a NJ massage parlour.  It was my first, and will be my LAST, experience with a CSW as it was anything but pleasant.  Basically what happened is that a myself along with a few of my friends took a weekend excursion to NJ for a weekend bachelor party.  After a night of drinking they I was "treated" to an old fashioned rub n tug at one of the local all-night massage parlours. 

Now, I no for certain (having confirmed for my friends) that all that was paid for was a handjob, and I distinctly remember her masterbating (no condom) with massage oil for roughly 10-15 minutes.  It was a rather long process because I was afterall intoxicated (not enough that I couldn't get it up however).  It was a rather unpleasant experience that required me to close my eyes and imagine something else just to be able to finish.  When all was said and done she wiped me off with a hot towel and sent me on my merry way.

Now, I was completely at ease with this experience.  Prior to this event I had done my fair share of research on this site (and others) concerning what is considered to be a risk or non-risk, and therefore I was 110% confident that this was a non-risk incident.  I walked back to the hotel (no help was needed), wiped off my penis with a wet face cloth, and called it a night.  The next day I woke up and was still completely ok with everything, pretty much remembering everything in rather vivid detail.

Fast forward to a few weeks later and good ol' anxiety crept up on me again.  I started to panic that perhaps I did more than just a "rub n' tug" and completely forgot about it due to my inebriated state.  Sounds irrational, I know.  You'd pretty much think that having unprotected sex with a CSW is something that would clearly stick out in your mind of all things.  Especially when you remember so many other specifics about the evening.  I decided to get tested (3rd generation HIV 1 & 2 antibody) at the 4 week point just to ease some of my concerns.  The tests came up negative.  I was relieved by this result...temporarily at least.  A few days later my girlfriend developed a very bad case of upper abdominal pain (just below the chest) that resulted in a trip to the ER, and persisted for about 1 1/2 to 2 weeks.  She didn't display any other ARS-specific symptoms. The ER conducted blood tests (not sure for what exactly though), urinalysis, and a variety of x-rays only to find absolutely nothing.  This didn't help to alleviate my concern that perhaps I got her sick though, and perhaps I tested far too early. 

Since then I have been a nervous wreck, trying my best to recall the evening as much as possible.  I've put some crazy ideas into my head, and I know I shouldn't be worried, but I can't help but immediately think "ARS!" concerning my girlfriend's condition, and perhaps it was because of me any my CSW incident.  I personally have not come down with anything even remotely ARS specific during that period (aside for some back pain and a day or two of diahrrea at the 4-5 week mark).  The doctor's told her that it may have been due to burn out...but once again my fears are getting the better of em. 

I have a follow up test scheduled for next week, and I'm scared shitless about it...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #72 on: August 17, 2012, 11:39:10 AM »
Again another no risk situation.

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #73 on: August 17, 2012, 11:44:38 AM »
Do my girlfriend's symptoms sound like anything ARS-specific (regardless of whether or not I had a risk)? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #74 on: August 17, 2012, 11:48:50 AM »
Did your gf have an exposure?

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #75 on: August 17, 2012, 11:53:06 AM »
No. 

I'm asking in general terms though.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #76 on: August 17, 2012, 02:04:02 PM »
Then there is nothing further to discuss.

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #77 on: August 17, 2012, 02:07:06 PM »
I wonder how thorough ER's are with their blood testing.  Wonder if they'd feel inclined to check for possible STD infections as well...

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #78 on: August 17, 2012, 04:13:39 PM »
I wonder how thorough ER's are with their blood testing.  Wonder if they'd feel inclined to check for possible STD infections as well...

They certainly will if you request them. Expensive stuff at an ER, however.

Unless she's been having sex with someone with an STD, or unless you have omitted any detail like having penetrative sex with someone, the tests would be unnecessary.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Gonzo87

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #79 on: August 17, 2012, 05:57:02 PM »
Does severe upper abdominal pain for 1-2 weeks without any other flu-like symptoms sound like something that could be ARS related though?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #80 on: August 17, 2012, 08:23:14 PM »
Nope
Does severe upper abdominal pain for 1-2 weeks without any other flu-like symptoms sound like something that could be ARS related though?

We access risk here. We do not diagnose symptoms. As you are already well aware.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral: Assessing the risk differences in giving and receiving
« Reply #81 on: August 18, 2012, 05:56:32 AM »
Gonzo,

A tug-and-rub is MUCH less expensive than full-on vaginal intercourse, so there's no way a sex worker is going to have vaginal intercourse with a client unless additional money changes hands. You're letting your over-active imagination run away with you yet again.

Have you seen a therapist about your hiv anxiety yet? If not, go find one instead of trying to use us as a cheap alternative.

Keep posting about this latest NO RISK situation and you'll quickly be given a second time out. We're not going to hold your hand again like we have in the past.

PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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