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Author Topic: Some days...  (Read 2338 times)

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Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Some days...
« on: July 28, 2006, 12:40:03 AM »

I thought I'd do an inverse post.  I know alot of us post when we need a little help.  We need our brothers and sisters to get our back.  This is, of course, very important.

But I'd like to make a post and just say...somedays I just feel like everything is going to be okay.  I have no idea where it comes from, but it's just there.  It's going to be okay.  The feeling surrounds me.

It's been hard.  I'm approaching the 1 year anniversary of the day I was infected.  I'm in the middle of about 3 months of anniversarys of pain (it's a long story)...so much went wrong.  It can be rough.  I feel like I've lost most of my friends, or they've distanced themselves so much that they've just stopped mattering anymore. 2 days ago I was a wreck.  I saw the girl I was dating right before I was infected with her new boyfriend.  She tortured me when we were dating.  It just didn't seem fair that she gets to move on and date new people, but I can't.  I have so much love to give, but I sleep alone every night.  It hurts.

But then another day happens.  And it's okay.  When I have these days it almost feels like a grand celebration!  We can move on.  We can be happy.

I know there's alot of newly infected people in the forums.  Please hang in there.  We all stand together.  And brighter days are ahead.

Much love,
brian




Offline RAB

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,895
  • Joined March 2003
Re: Some days...
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 09:40:41 AM »
Brian

Quote
somedays I just feel like everything is going to be okay. 

Life is like that isn't it?  Regardless of HIV I suppose.

Glad to hear that you had one of the good days. 

Thanks for sharing this and here's hoping you have many many more, cause you've got your whole life before you buddy.

RAB   :)

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,649
Re: Some days...
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 10:11:16 AM »
Quote
But then another day happens.  And it's okay.  When I have these days it almost feels like a grand celebration!  We can move on.  We can be happy.

Amen to that Brian.

What a great post.   You said it all.

robert

..........

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,414
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Some days...
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 10:19:42 AM »
Hey Brian,

You said it! I'm glad you posted this today. It is always good to note the good things in our lives.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline angels4kelly

  • Member
  • Posts: 305
  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: Some days...
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2006, 10:22:06 AM »
That really was a
"feel good" post.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING, BRIAN ;D

Peace,
Kelly
POSITIVE SINCE-10/1990
CD4-610
CD4%-29.3
VL-UNDETECTABLE
VIREAD,VIRACEPT, EPZICOM

MOST RECENT...
10/9/2006
CD4's-714
CD4%-30%
VL-Undetectable
DIAGNOSES POSITIVE 10/90
SAME MEDS, VIREAD, VIRAMUNE, EPZICOM.

SHOOT FOR THE MOON! YOU MAY MISS,
BUT YOU'LL LAND IN THE STARS :)

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
 
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: Some days...
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2006, 05:01:15 PM »
And today seems to be one of those days for me too. In a few weeks it'll be a year since I was infected. When I told my boyfriend, he dumped me (haven't gone into that saga here). It's hot, and I'm poor, and there's so much pain everywhere, and I have random sex occasionally but go to bed alone... and yet, I'm disgracefully cheerful. ("There's nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so." Amen, Prince of Denmark.) Thanks Brian, for saying this out loud.

Jay

ps, two quatrains on sleeping diagonally across your bed, ie alone.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=1121.0
« Last Edit: July 28, 2006, 05:03:55 PM by lydgate »
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline otherplaces

  • Member
  • Posts: 398
  • Mutant Super Hero
Re: Some days...
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2006, 06:55:46 PM »

Thanks everyone, glad to share.

Jay, that's beautiful poem :)

brian


Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,260
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Some days...
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2006, 11:54:15 PM »

But I'd like to make a post and just say...somedays I just feel like everything is going to be okay.  I have no idea where it comes from, but it's just there.  It's going to be okay.  The feeling surrounds me.

Much love,
brian



Thanks for the post Brian,

 I believe it was Tim ( Moffie) who quite a while ago said something to the effect, that every once in a while we all have to look in the mirror, and be able to say, things are going to be OK. I will survive. I will not let this virus knock me down !! I wonder how many, thought, that sounded crazy at the time, but the fact of the matter is, I have done that more then once throughout all these years to help me along. Try it out sometimes. Look in the mirror, directly at yourself, take a deep breath and exhale,  and aloud say " I will make it, everthing will be ok. It works for me !!!


Glad your having a good day Brian... Keep em coming !!!


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 8/25/14,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline libra11_dj

  • Member
  • Posts: 26
  • what's so hard to love ?
Re: Some days...
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2006, 01:51:37 AM »
Thanks for saying it out loud....lets get loud and say

''We will be OK"

They say sooner or later we all sleep alone..so do not be afraid of it.... I know it's hard some times...damn side effects...hate vivid dreams...but I know my body  with help of my meds it's fighting hard so keep it up...and do not put our heads down...there is nothing to be sorry...forget and forgive those who damped us or pointed us...they don know what r they're doing...there is always a tomorrow.

 


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