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Author Topic: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.  (Read 27932 times)

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Offline Winiroo

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Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« on: August 10, 2008, 01:47:01 PM »
History for the last several threads.

Part 41 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=22284.msg284053#msg284053
Part 40 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=22087.msg281868#msg281868
Part 39 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21925.msg280027#msg280027
Part 38 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21803.msg278402#msg278402
Part 37 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21631.msg276506#msg276506
Part 36 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21381.msg273819#msg273819
Part 35 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21101.msg270532#msg270532


The CT I had in the ER showed a tiny cyst on my liver which they aren't concerned about and it showed that I have a Bochdalek hernia which is a congenital defect of my diaphragm that allows the contents of my abdomen to slip into my chest cavity.
I had to look that info up for myself. Parkland <the county "free" hospital I use"> didn't say anything about it when I was discharged from the ER.
I found out about it last Friday when I went in for my regular clinic appointment and my nurse practitioner which BTW I don't trust with my health what so ever stated what was on the CT report.
I asked her for a copy of the report but of course they cant possibly give me a copy so I made her write the name of the hernia down telling her I was going to look it up on my own.
She didn't out right say it but when I asked for more pain medication she mildly suggested that the pain was in my head because they cant find anything wrong with me to explain the pain.
Well looking up the hernia online it list the symptoms as chest pain, difficulty breathing, abdominal pain, intestinal obstruction and symptoms similar to gastro reflux disorder.
Ding ding ding. There are all my freaking symptoms. Parkland is full of idiots I swear.
I printed the page out and plan on showing them next time I go in. In the mean time I am starting the meds to kill the H pylori infection I have.
I figure since it is congenital I can live with it a little longer before going back to the doctors.  ;D



Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2008, 04:56:40 PM »
Oh Win! What a hassle! We go to professionals with the belief that they will help. I wish you could find a different doctor. Before I was diagnosed I was having severe throat pain and when I went to the doctor he said it didn't look like it should be hurting like I said it did. It wasn't until I went to an ENT and he scoped it that they did something. I did not even have to ask for pain medication. After looking at it he immediately prescribed me Vicadin. I really hope you feel better soon. It just sucks to be sick.

Well I had my PAP smear last week and it came back abnormal and now I have to have a coloscopy. I am not looking forward to that. I just hope it's nothing.

Did laundry today and that's about all. I have a whole of a Language Arts seminar that I am not looking forward to. The only thing I tell myself is I'm getting paid.

Sun-It is so nice to hear from you. I am glad things are going so well!

Betty-Has your brother published any of his poetry?

Since the other posts are in the previous thread I can't go back and check. I am sorry. Hello to all my girls!!!!! :) ;D ;D ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2008, 07:20:01 PM »
Evening ladies,

Wendy, good Lord.  Can't you go to another doctor somewhere?  You're not being treated adequately, that's for sure.  I would not shut up until they did something about that hernia.   About the sugar, believe me, I'm in a mood tonight that I would eat any sugary thing put in front of me.

Andrea, yes, my brother's poetry has been published, in the small press.  He has three or four chapbooks that have been published.   I guess the only thing you can tell yourself about seminars you don't like is that you're getting paid.  So, you really don't have much time off do you?

Sun, good to hear from you again.

I kind of crashed today.  I went to the volunteer thing, ate and almost ran to my car to leave.  On the way home I felt like "I need to drop out of school and go into a hermit's existence."  I got home, laid down and slept for two hours.  Of course, during that time I had quite a few disturbing dreams and woke up thinking "why am I still alive anyway?"  The only thing I can trace it to is the Chantix.  The whole depression thing started 2 1/2 weeks ago (and I've been on the Chantix for 3 weeks).  I'm unsure what to do.  I'm not actually going to off myself.  I don't want to start smoking again.  I'm thinking maybe I can tough out the 9 more weeks.  Just do what I absolutely have to do every day and sleep as much as I can.  Maybe by the time 9 more weeks is over, I'll emerge a butterfly.  Anyway, that's been my life for the last little while.  I really didn't want to say anything until I knew what the cause was.  I can't trace it to anything else.  And yes, I'm a person who's prone to depression.

Anyway, that's been my day.  I hope you ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2008, 07:28:35 PM »
That Chantix sounds scary. I don't think I would take it. I hope you get better.

I cant go anywhere else. I don't have insurance. The only other option is to move to a different county and use their public clinic. Which isn't going to happen.
Fortunately I am not new to HIV and I probably know a little more than many other patients at the clinic.
I'll get what I need done. Its just a matter of putting my foot down and bulldogging the right people.
 ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2008, 08:11:54 PM »
Oh, I was just reminded by one of my best friends why I'm so depressed today-this is the exact date (a year ago) that my mum died.  God, I miss her.  I'm so relieved to know I'm not going insane (at least not today). ;)

Wendy, raise hell girl!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2008, 09:05:19 PM »
Light a candle for your Momma. I'm glad you know your not a coocoo bird.  ;D Well no more so than any  of us.
Try to remember the good things. That seems to help me when I'm missing my family.

Offline TreDai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2008, 09:47:34 PM »
Wini, I am praying for you and I know you are a hand full and a half give them hell!!! honey!!

Betty, whisper a prayer and know we are all here with you.

Luv y'all much!!
"Our people die because of a lack of knowledge"
 Miss Ohio Plus America 2008

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2008, 10:11:42 PM »
Betty, I'll pray for you. You know my therapist told me that subconsciously we remember things. I was having a hard time in May and I couldn't figure out why. After talking about I realized that May was a pretty heavy month for me. It is my brother's birthday month, the month he died, and the month I was diagnosed with HIV. I guess I should have put them all together but I didn't. She, the dr., said that our bodies remember.

Please be careful with the medicine. Maybe there's another option.

Off to dinner with my dad!

Offline minismom

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2008, 11:26:50 PM »
Hiya my sweet schnookums.  It's late, I'm tired, and not really sure if I feel better or not.  I think I'm sleeping better, but I'm still really tired throughout the day, so I have no idea what's going on.  Did I ever mention how much I HATE prednisone?  My night time dose sets my poor belly on fire.  I take it with a small snack, but no matter what, it still sets me on fire.  So, I take it with a double shot of Pepto and 4 Tum chasers.  That doesn't even get rid of the fire, it just knocks it down to a smolder.

Betty, i agree with Andrea, our subconscience remembers things that our conscience memories don't seem to grasp.  I'm sorry today was such a hard day for you.  But, look back over the last year and I bet you can find times when your mum was right there with you. 

Wendy, my love, I ask again, what am i going to do with you?  Instead of sending you a book, I'm sending you boxing gloves and a "Bring it On!" t-shirt.  It's a shame things that should be easy are always the things we have to fight the hardest for. 

My head is still pounding just behind my left eye.  It's a TON better during the day, but at night and 1st thing in the morning I feel it the most.  I can bend my head down a bit now so that's an improvement.  My cough is better, but not gone.  And, I managed to dance yesterday and today without having to use my inhaler.  YEAH, ME!!  I guess overall things are getting better, just not as fast as I'd like them to.

I'm not sure how much, if any, I'll be able to log on tomorrow and Tuesday.  I've packed up most of Mini's stuff, and some of mine.  I'll spend tomorrow doing laundry and getting things finalized.  I still have to cook and freeze dinners for the family while I'm gone.  I also want to make some sugar-free chocolate chip cookies for Mini and I to snack on.  WHEW! We'll be leaving Tuesday afternoon to drive the 3hrs to Pittsburgh and spend the night there.  Our plane leaves before 6am on Wed. morning.  We're due to arrive in MC just after 2pm.  Anyway, if I don't get to say it before I leave, know that I love you all and I'll talk to you after we get back on the 19th.  Take care of yourselves and each other.  And, most important, don't do anything really cool - I hate missing out on the cool stuff.

Much love spanning out to all of you!
Mum

edited because I hit a wrong button.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2008, 11:37:47 PM by minismom »
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"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2008, 12:33:54 AM »
Hey Ladies,

Sorry to confuse you all with all the D's

DS= Darling Son
DD= Darling Daughter
DH= Darling Husband

I got those from my days on the babycenter.com Well im just lurking tonight getting ready to go to bed, I gotta be at work at 7 a.m Just checking in Holla at cha Later!  Good night!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2008, 03:13:26 AM »
Hi ladies,

Win, love the title. I hope that your self diagnosis is the highway to feeling better and might also give them a wakeup call as to how they do their job.

Betty, I also went bonkers on the smoking cessation med (it was zyban in pre-chantix times) and I stopped taking it after 10 days, but that was enough (later i got back to smoking around my diagnosis but quitting a year later was relatively pain free and I did it w/out meds). so if you think youre depressed cos of the chamtix, be careful, i remember Ann wrote about that in her blog. Other than that, I always try to aknowledge my crappy feelings and tell myself just b/c I feel them i dont have to change anything. for example. now there is a voice in my head yapping about how useless and underqualified I am for my job and how lazy and far behind and what a sham it all is and that even when I do finish it Im likely to be unemployed (without benefits) cos then I'll be overqualified at something totally impractical. there is some truth to this but Im going to work anyway... I try to aknowledge my depressed thoughts but dont let them control me. Its as though there was someone in the room constantly putting me down with drk predicaments, bullying, etc. well if it was a real person Id kick them out already, but its me so I have to put up with that but I wont let it derail me completely.

I think I am usually depressed but living with. "what's the point" and "I want to die" have been with me for most of my life.

Light a candle for your mom, you've been there for her and with her, she went away knowing that. she would be happy for you not smoking!! put the smoke money away and see it pile up for each clean day. you might be able to stop the chantix sooner and remain smoke free, dont force yourself to take it... focus on the non smoking and ask your doc who prescribed it.

Keeping it's all clear now, I guess Im just dense when it comes to abbreviations, that happens a lot here.

Viv, sorry about the PAP. Hope the colonoscopy is OK. I should have a PAP too, I guess in about a week.

Sun - welcome back! although I didnt see any post from you but I'll look for it.

TreDai - ditto!

Mom- have a wonderful safe & easy trip and give Mini a cuddle for me.

Hugs to all,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2008, 09:40:44 AM »
beautiful, fantabulous women how u all doin?

Brandy- i love that name, love the sound of it. virally enhanced sisterhood...

Mom- pliz get better n do have lots of fun wit Mini.

Betty- u just dont know how thsi staying with ma mum is driving me insane. Ma boyfriend stays bout 5mins drive away from ma house but i can spend the whole week witout seeing him. am other friend the other day was telling me i'm playing with fire!!!hahaha!
congrats, u doin well with your quiting smoking...

Snow- happy belated to ur son

Viv- i did ma pap bout two weeks back and it came back abnormal, i had an infection(candida) so they gave me medication for that, i am due for another one in two weeks, hope it'll will be ok.


I'm back at work, and this is goin to be one hell of a long week, ma boyfriend went on a 7day trip this morning...and we just heard veri sad news; a colleague of mine passed away on Thursday from a car accident and the wife has been on coma since, she passed away on Saturday morning, the day that the husband was laid to rest. it is so depressing and the trauma that the kids must be going thru!!!we'll try go for the funeral and make some contribution, the poor kids need it...

Twas ma friends birthday on Saturday, so we planning on taking her out to sum nice Italian tonite. i don't know how m goin to go thru the month. after the contributions and now this date!God help me.

the guys i interviewed with said they will get back to us today, i hope they call with some great news. please believe wit me.

Lots of love to all u ladies, gotta work...



Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2008, 11:43:36 AM »
Morning/afternoon ladies,

Wendy, how are you today?

TreDai, nice to hear from you.

Andrea, how was dinner with you dad?  Enjoy those times.

Mum, is there something in your house making you sick all the time or are you sure it's the mold from your dance studio?  Anyway, have a wonderful time in MC. 

Keeping, thanks for clearing up what the d's meant.  That's cute.

Drag, yeah, I know about the psychiatric side effects Chantix can have; and I do tend toward depression.  But, once I realized why I was so depressed yesterday and had a few good, long cries (along with talking to my best friend) I felt better.  I'm feeling better today.  Now, about the voices in your head telling you "what's the use" etc.  have you ever talked to your doctor about these?  You don't see a therapist do you?  Maybe you have untreated depression.  I don't think it's normal to have negative thoughts all the time.  Please take care of yourself.

Mahlia, I'm sorry about your friends who passed away.  I hope you have fun taking your friend out for Italian.  That sounds good.  And mucho good luck on getting the job you want!  I'll be keeping fingers and legs crossed.

I haven't done anything today except eat breakfast and take care of my cat (morning treat, cleaning the litterbox).  I haven't even done the dishes, or taken a shower.  I decided I'm just going to be lazy today.  I laid down this morning after I ate breakfast and didn't get back up until 11:00.  That's really not like me, but sometimes I guess I need to do this. (And I do it rarely)  I might take a shower this afternoon after I eat dinner; then again, I might not.  I might stay in my p.j.'s all day. 

I really don't have any news to report.  I hope everyone's having a good day.  I'll probably be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2008, 12:02:33 PM »
TreDai   - Thank you

Mum - Have you tried a netty pot for your sinuses? I've used one before and it works wonderfully and Dr. Oz on Oprah even suggested it. It looks silly but it cleans you out real good. Its not expensive either.
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/slideshow1_ss_oz_20070426/6

Wendy, my love, I ask again, what am i going to do with you?  Instead of sending you a book, I'm sending you boxing gloves and a "Bring it On!" t-shirt.  It's a shame things that should be easy are always the things we have to fight the hardest for. 

LOL I like that
I hope you and Mini have a great time on your trip and please try the netty pot maybe you can have clear sinuses before getting on the plane.

Keeping - Thanks for the definitions. I had no clue what you where talking about LOL

Drag - Thanks, At least I am being kept on my toes with this whole thing. Its kind of a good thing to be in charge of myself. I've had good health care before so now I know I didn't appreciate it well enough when I did have it. Its kind of humbling. I am fortunate that I have a pretty good knowledge of my body and I have some medical education. I also have several educated friends and I am still in contact with my prior heath care provider.
Budgets where cut at the clinic I go to a couple of years ago and the physicians assistant I had been seeing since 1992 was replaced with a few cheaper nurse practitioners. Which in my opinion are less educated and less competent to provide quality care.
My physicians assistant was hired to work at the VA hospital's HIV clinic where my boyfriend gets his care. So she is his PA now. She is awesome. love her. So I am unlucky in some ways but lucky in others.

Mahalia - enjoy the dinner. sounds nice.


Betty - I feel ok now that I have taken some pain meds.  :) I went to work this morning and did my normal routine. I've said this like a million times I am sure but if its a normal unbusy day I can finish with work in an hour. On the way home I stopped at Walmart and walked around the clothes looking at shirts. I didn't really like anything but I wanted to buy a mens shirt or a big ladies shirt. Something comfortable. Something that was all about comfort and nothing to do with fashionable. I settled for a Just my size brand tshirt. Just a plain old white tshirt. I didn't like anything in the mens department. The material was either too rough or the design on the shirt was stupid.
Its big baggy cheap and aside from the color it is just what I wanted. LOL A little retail therapy is what I call it.

I am tolerating the antibiotics and the new HIV med fairly well. I've only noticed that I am hiccuping and having some mild indigestion but they have me on Nexium so thats likely keeping it to a minimum.
My only other complaint is that I am having my period and its the wrong time. I'm still taking the birthcontrol and having a bleed through apparently. Hate periods, terribly inconvenient, messy and painful.
Not like I need any extra abdominal pain LOL

It rained here this morning a little so its 11 am now and not 110 outside. Its really pretty overcast and only 84. I like this kind of weather. It suits me.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2008, 05:01:17 PM »
Wendy, I'm sorry you're having your period on top of what else is going on.  Glad you're tolerating the meds, though.  I hope it passes fast.  Oh, did Billy get you those flowers in your new picture?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #15 on: August 11, 2008, 06:15:09 PM »
hello my virally enhanced sisterhood
sorry I haven't been on well I have lol I logged on then my computer crashed so it left me logged on not much going on today my first board meeting is wed I'm nervous :) I'm working on a poz chat site we'er working on the name and a few details server wise we almost have it up :) the few Ive been to have been to high and mighty if you make me mad your gone! I believe that there should be no bashing etc but because you made the person monitoring mad or even the Creator is in my eyes taking it a bit far not everyone is going to like everyone else that doesn't in no mean they still dint need have a support system. poz chat room aren't just for dating lol but for being where you feel safe enough to be yourself even if you an @$$ maybe I'm wrong. . . anyhow I'm off to work!!!
love Brandy
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2008, 08:51:56 PM »
Wendy, I'm sorry you're having your period on top of what else is going on.  Glad you're tolerating the meds, though.  I hope it passes fast.  Oh, did Billy get you those flowers in your new picture?

LOL No they are fake. I have that silly picture up because someone was going on about how pretty I was in another thread and it made me feel like being a goof.

I'm feeling pukey right now. I'll get over it.

Offline zanele38

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2008, 08:53:24 PM »
Hi Ladies im new to the site..thank u to the lady who replied me from the main forum..May God bless u all.
Luv u all...Take care xxx

Offline zanele38

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2008, 08:57:48 PM »
WINIROO thank u for the message...Im trying to understand hw this work..i mean to post the message..
Take care love...

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2008, 09:38:12 PM »
Hello Ladies!

Win-Boy when it rains it pours! You sound like you are feeling better... ;D I can totally relate to "retail therapy"...my problem is I usually end up with buyers remorse LOL!

Betty-I love days when I can just be lazy. I am glad you were able to have a good cry. Just be careful ok? Depression can really sneak up on you. Dinner was nice with my dad.

Brandy-Is the chat site something you are developing on your own?

Drag-I have to have a COLOSCOPY...not to be mistaken for a COLONOSCOPY...LOL! Two COMPLETELY different areas... ;D I am pretty sure nothing is wrong. I think it is probably just one of the wonderful things we have to deal with being "Viraly Enhanced"

Zanele-Welcome!

Well today was TOTALLY boring! I am so OVER these "seminar/trainings" Ok all my pierced ladies...help me out. I have for the longest time wanted to get my nose pierced and decided that I am just going to do it. The problem is I am so afraid it is going to hurt REALLY bad. I have been trying to get information online...I know, dorky. A lot of people have said it does not hurt. I even watched some on Youtube. Of course some people will say it doesn't hurt just to be tough. The only piercings I have are the 2 in each ear. I am thinking of taking a pain pill before I get it done. So, those in the know...how bad does it hurt?

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2008, 01:06:50 AM »
yes viv its something my boyfriend and i are doing we changed servers so we could support the bandwith of people loggin on and chatting and not crashing :) hes the brains behind it my idea but im not that smart lol computer wise at least lol
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline minismom

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #21 on: August 12, 2008, 07:27:24 AM »
Just had to say one more GOODBYE before we head out to Pittsburgh.  You all be good and I'll see you all next week.  Love to you all and take care!

Zenele: welcome, welcome, welcome!!  Hope to get to know you better when I get back.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #22 on: August 12, 2008, 09:44:12 AM »
Mum-Have a good time! Look forward to hearing how it went!

Betty-I'm surprised you have not already posted!  :) Hope everything is ok!

Win-Feeling ok?

Another day.......talk to you all later! ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #23 on: August 12, 2008, 10:05:44 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wendy, I read where that guy was flirting with you.  Did you feel flattered?  And how are you feeling?  I hope that h. pylori goes away soon.  Do you know how long it takes to clear up? 

Andrea, no, getting the nose pierced does not hurt.  At least it didn't when I got it done (which was years ago).  I even took the stud out for a couple years, then re-pierced it myself with those piercing kits you can get in a beauty supply store.  You won't need a pain pill beforehand.  It's over before you know it.  How much longer is your seminar?

Brandy, I think that's cool that you're trying to develop a chat room.

Mum, have a wonderful time!  I'm totally jealous.

Zanele, welcome.  I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Well, I'm showered and ready to go (my volunteer thing at Hope Ministries).  I don't understand why they changed the name of the place from Hope Rescue Mission to Hope Ministries.  I think it sounds too religious.  Of course, since they don't receive government funding, they are kind of "church" run. 

Last night I just watched Jeopardy, then talked on the phone, read, and went to bed.  Today I'm going to try to remember to go by the bank and to the store.  Hopefully, I'll remember.  I don't always.  I really wanted a cigarette yesterday, but I didn't give in.  I came pretty close though.  I don't want to go back.  When I think about wanting a cigarette, I think about the shortness of breath, the stink, and the cost.  Even roll-your-owns are getting expensive.           Well ladies, have a good day.  I'll probably be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2008, 11:23:13 AM »
Hi Ladies-

Win- I hate that you had to deal with that person at the doctor.  Can you imagine how she makes people feel that don't have the presence of mind or can't look things up on the internet for themselves.  Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder, I can't stand people like that.  They should give you an RN/doc badge and salary.  I hope things get better for you soon.

Betty- I keep forgetting to tell you, I love your new avatar, that is such a cute pic.  I am glad you didn't cave in yesterday!  I can't imagine how hard it must be, but you are doing a great job! 

Drag- I like how you put that if someone was in the room saying those things to you, you would have kicked them out by now, I never thought of it that way.  It is so true, that we can sometimes be our own worst enemy.  I wish I could tell you a way to stop but I do the same thing myself.  All I can say is that you are a beautiful, caring and gifted women that is strong enough to do anything you put your mind to :)

Welcome Zanale!

HI Sun- So happy to hear things are going well for you.  Try to keep in touch when you can.

Viv- Good luck with the coloscopy.

Tre- I love your avatar, beautiful pic!

Keeping- How are things going with you?

Brandy- What kind of chat room are you trying to start, I think I missed it ? :)

Mum and Mini- I hope you guys have a wonderful trip!

Mahalia- Thank you :)

My sons b-day was Sat. and it really sucked for me.  It took me awhile in the morning to get myself together and stop crying.  He was actually due around Sept 5 and I had him early.  I was having extremely painful back labor and I had called his father to tell him I needed to go to the hospital which was at least 20 minutes away.  I have an  high pain level and was screaming in agony and he told me to " Shut the fuck up and lay down, he has had kids before and it was too early for me???"  I was too afraid to call and ambulance because I thought I would have to tell them about the HIV and my mother didn't know at the time so I drove my stick shift to the hospital.  God was with me that night, because I have no idea how I made it.  Then he shows up hours later, drunk, basically passed out until I had him and then leaves to celebrate?  I had to call him to get the information to put on the birth certificate and he threatened me that "His son better have his f-in last name, or else" When he finally came back days later so we could come home, he found out my son had my last name and it was too late for him to do anything about it.  I am so happy that he is jail right now but I am dreading that he is going to get out soon.  I really hopes he follows what he wrote in the assanine letter that he sent and leaves us alone.  Plus, my mother thinks I should tell my father about the HIV.  When my parents got divorced in the early 90's my father decided it would be easier for everyone involved to stop talking to me too, so I just started having him back in my life a few months after my son was born in 98.  He keeps asking my mother how I support the house and the kids not working and has offered to go get a job to help me if things don't work out with my SO.  He knows I would never get enough to survive on welfare?  What can I say?  If I tell him I am on disability he is going to want to know why?  Part of me is afraid of telling him everything because I don't want to lose him again and another part of me is afraid of what he would do if he ever had to see my sons father again.  I have been hiding this shit for so long I feel like- I am not sure what I feel like- angry that I had to hide it all, that my whole life had been a lie, sad and alone, scared.  I know I will figure it out and things will work out in the end but I just wish it was over with already.  I am on pins and needles waiting to see how my father is going to act and what shitbag is going to do when he gets out of jail.
Sorry this was so long, guess I needed to vent  :o  Thank you, guys ,for being here ;D

Hope every is doing well!
Snow







Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2008, 11:43:17 AM »
zanele38 - Good to see you in the ladies forum

Andrea - I don't have my nose pierced but i imagine it doesn't hurt much. I mean if you put one finger inside and one outside and pinch it doesn't really hurt and those piercing guns are really fast. I wouldn't bother with the pain pill. Its likely you are just anxious.
I'm still doing ok in the mornings mostly. I had a rough evening yesterday with vomiting. But with all the antibiotics I am on its not surprising. Just a recap I am taking 4 amoxicillin a day, 2 azithromycin a day, and 1 Nexium to try help keep the indigestion down from all the antibiotics. That plus my HIV meds, birthcontrol and pain pills as needed. And eventually some fluconazole for the yeast infection all these antibiotics will surely give me. LOL Its going to kill the h pylori for sure but the side effects of the meds are not pleasant Its supposed to take 14 days of antibiotics but I lost count of what day I am on.


Mum - If you see this have a wonderful trip!

Snow - LOL The Nurse practitioner I see is not a mean person she is actually pretty nice. She just doesn't spend any time talking with you and really does no exam when she is in the room with you. I think the only thing she has ever done is listen to my lungs. She is a fast talker and seems to be in a hurry to leave the room.
I don't need a nice person to treat me, I just need someone to treat me. LOL Being nice is just a bonus.
I want to have a care provider who genuinely seems interested in how I am feeling and seemingly wants to do everything in their power to make me feel the best I can feel.
She is more of a wham bam thank you mam. She may not have the time. I don't know what the expectations of the clinic is on her but to be frank I don't care about what the clinic wants. I expect to be treated completely and accurately I don't want to be shuffled in and out with no clue what is going on. I am not satisfied with blindly following orders of doctors. I want to know everything and I'd like them to spend the time it takes to tell me and make sure I am ok. That might mean they have to spend an extra 10 minutes with me God forbid. LOL
BTW she is usually in and out in less than 5 minutes and I am being generous when I say 5 minutes.

Oh Snow your father and discloser and your son and his fathers being a complete fucker. Jeezz hun.
If you are looking for a suggestion I think it might be healthy for you to go ahead and tell your dad. Holding in all that and the stress it is causing you is just so sad. I know you don't want to disappoint your father and you are afraid of how he will react but think about it and think about what would be the worst thing that could happen then I guess you can decide it it would be worth it or not. I'm sorry you have to go through this. My parents where weird for a little while and my dad never really liked my husband afterward but everyone was civil. So I guess I was lucky.


Betty - I love when people tell me I am pretty and I don't mind mild flirts as long as they are respectful and he was. So its ok. It just made me feel silly because with as sick as I have been I don't feel all that pretty right now. LOL Hence the silly pictures. I'll change it back to the pretty ones in a day or so. I was just having fun, being goofy me.

I kinda covered how I was feeling and how long it takes to kill this bug above in the response to Andrea.

Kick that cigarette addictions ass gal. Your doing great!

Billy went to work for me this morning and told me to sleep in. Of course he told me not to drink any soda either and just water and pedialite but I'm drinking a soda.  :)
I need to go take some imodium and have some breakfast so I can take my meds.

Hope you ladies have a wonderful day.
Man this was a long ass post. If you read all this your better than me. LOL

Offline netta

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2008, 07:08:44 PM »
Hi ladies just checking in, welcome to Zanele . hope everyone is fine. been busy with the grands taking the little one back and forth to school for the week. Her dad is out of town and my dd has to be to work early.I am enjoying my  grands and the beautiful lake that is part of their subdivision. felling a little drained, catching a cold or something. love to all.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2008, 07:10:38 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2008, 08:43:20 PM »
Evening ladies,

Snow, I would be honest with your father.  Express your fears, needs etc.  You might be surprised.  I think he'll be a little shook up (most people are), but he'll probably come around.  You know, we're here no matter what happens.   Do you have a restraining order against Shitbag?  When is he supposed to get out of jail?  He sounds like such an ass; just like my 1st husband.  When my daughter was born, he was in jail.  In fact, that's the first place he saw his daughter; I took her so he could see her (while he was in jail).  My 1st husband was a very abusive alcoholic.  Those guys are best left to the dogs.  Of course, my husband died, so I'm off the hook. I'm not trying to sound cavalier.  I'm just stating facts.  Keep yourself safe and please check in with us more often.

Wendy, those sure are a lot of antibiotics to be taking.  Is the Nexium helping?  I hope so.  I know you'll be glad once that bug is gone out of your poor tummy.   Keep yourself hydrated girlie; you don't want another problem.

Netta, thanks for checking in.  I'm glad you're able to spend some quality time with your grandkids.  I'm probably going to see my granddaughter this Friday.  My grandkids both start school next week.  My grandson is going to be in his first year in preschool.  I hope he does alright.

It's just a quiet evening.  Things went well at the Hope today (my volunteer job).  I haven't done anything exciting-changed the cat's litter (woohoo).  I hope you ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #28 on: August 13, 2008, 09:41:18 AM »
Good Morning!

Betty-Are you going to keep volunteering when school starts?

Wendy-Keep feeling better!  :)

Netta-Hi!

Snow-I agree with Betty. You should tell your dad. I know that I was so afaid to tell mine but he was not angry with me at all. He was just completely heartbroken...and wanted to kill Mr. Wonderful... :). But I don't know the relationship you have with your dad. You will probably feel better though once it is out.

Well I decided to change my colposcopy to Friday instead of Monday. I just want to get it over with and I don't care if I miss the last day of this seminar. What a pain! I have also been taking birth control to attempt to regulate my periods and for the last week I have had spotting. The doctor said to keep taking it for about 3 months and then see how it works. It is just annoying. I hope it doesn't effect the procedure Friday. You know how they don't like to do anything when you are on your period. It's not even a "period" just a little annoying bloody discharge...ugh!

Well, I think I am going today to get my nose pierced. I don't know what has possesed me. I want to do it but I am nervous about it. I am sure my mother will have plenty to say. Oh well.

That's all for now. TTYL!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #29 on: August 13, 2008, 10:19:51 AM »
Morning ladies,

Andrea, I hope you're able to get the procedure done Friday.  I'm sure that will ease your mind.  Going to get your nose pierced today, eh?  I hope you like it.  You'll do alright.  I took my eyebrow piercing out about a month ago.  But, that's not to say I won't get another wild hair sometime and do it again.  Oh, and yes, I'm still going to volunteer while going to school.  That'll keep me good and busy.

Nothing exciting to report right now.  I'm going to leave for my volunteer job in about 20-25 minutes.  My cat is chasing a fly.  I absolutely loathe getting flies in my apartment.  I think they're evil, filthy creatures. 

What's everyone up to? 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #30 on: August 13, 2008, 10:22:18 AM »
hi ladies.

zanele - welcome to the forum, great to have you here

snow - sorry u're feeling so low. i agree that u talk with your dad and tell him, he may prove to be a great source of support, and you may feel a lot better when everythings in the open and u dont have secrets.  btw, your Out of the mouths of babes is hilarious!

drag - hie! how u been?  hope u feeling better now.  i get those feelings sometimes too, fortunately its usually PMS. hows mr drag and the wedding plans going?

mum - have a great time!

wendy - i hope u're feeling better, u do have a rough time of it, and those doctors! good thing u're so proactive with your own health otherwise who knows..

betty - im glad u're enjoying the volunteering.  and sticking with the non-smoking. i also hate flies, but not as much as i hate roaches oh my gosh i LOATHE those things!

mahalia - sorry about the death of your friends.  i hope u get the job..

andrea - good luck with the colposcopy. i hope u like the nose ring. i think it would suit you.. i know i could never do that, i hate being pierced

drat, i have to go. um nothing at all is happening with me, nothing interesting anyway, just revived the struggle to get money out of the bank and send it to my sister and mum who're taking care of my brother who i think has PCP or something.  he's doing much better now though my mum wants to take him "home" and take care of him there rather than where he's staying now which may be contributing to his ill-health.

i'll catch u all later. ciao for now :-*

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #31 on: August 13, 2008, 11:39:49 AM »
well ladies
in a few I will be at my first broad meeting I should be getting ready but I need my coffee:)

snow Im working on a poz chat site:)
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 11:42:12 AM by 100proofBrandy »
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #32 on: August 13, 2008, 09:29:10 PM »
Evening ladies,

Not much happening on here.  I wish those of you who check in once in awhile would check back in and let me know how you're doing!  Anyway.....

Tendai, I hate roaches also.  In one of my old apartments I used to get them all the time.  The exterminators would come and just do my apartment and I yelled at them every time about doing all the apartments.  Otherwise the roaches just move temporarily.  They didn't seem to understand that, or else just didn't want to do it.     I'm sorry about your brother.  I didn't know you had an HIV+ family member.  That must take a toll on you.

Brandy, good luck with the board meeting.  We have a CAB here, but the drive to Indianapolis where the meetings are held is too far for me without $$ upfront for expenses.

Nothing exciting happened to me today.  Well, maybe something did.  One of the older gentlemen at the place I volunteer at gave me a flower he picked somewhere outside.  Nothing romantic like or anything.  Just a nice gesture.  There are a couple of young guys there now, probably 18 or 19.  It's disturbing to me.  The question that runs through my mind is "where the hell are their parents?"  I mean, I don't know the circumstances, but like I said, they're awfully young.

Next week my grandkids start school.  My granddaughter's going to be in the 4th grade.  My grandson will start his 1st year of preschool.  I can't believe it.  Time flies now that I'm older.  When I was younger, time just seemed to drag by.  Anyway, I hope my grandson will be alright.  I'm sure he will.  Friday I'm going to have my granddaughter during the day.  I'm going to try to take her to a movie and a park, then hang out here.  I'm going to post a pic of my daughter w/ my granddaughter below.  And one of my grandson (by himself).  I hope you ladies have a great night.  Oh btw, the pic of my daughter w/ granddaughter is a few years old, since my daughter doesn't live here anymore.



[attachment deleted by admin]
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline newby05

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #33 on: August 13, 2008, 10:35:50 PM »
Hi, ladies! After reading your posts for days, I finally joined. How nice to chat about female issues. I contracted hiv in 2005. I read someone is having a colposcopy????? I had my 3rd on today. The first 2 were VERY painful, but the nurse gave me 2 motrin before mine today. What a difference it made. I hope you all have a pleasant night.
Denise

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #34 on: August 13, 2008, 11:09:01 PM »
Good evening ladies.

Newby-Welcome! I am the one have the colposcopy. YUCK! I hope I only have to have one! I was diagnosed in May of 2007.The ladies here are great!

Betty-That's cute about the flower... :) It always feels good to have someone do something nice for you. How fun for your grandson! His "academic career" is just beginning! Your granddaughter is starting 4th huh? That's a good year. I teach fifth so I have to say that is the BEST year...LOL... ;D I'm not at all biased! Yeah right!

Brandy-What is the board meeting for?

Tendai-Hello!  :)

Well I did not get the piercing today. I chickened out but I am going to do it. My friend won't let me back out...LOL! I am probably going to go on Monday...I am such a wimp...I know I'll do it because I really want to.

Nothing else is going on. Sorry I don't have much to report. I am sure in a few weeks I will have some more exciting stories to tell since I will have a new batch of kids. My principal said that as of last week we are looking at 37 students in each class...YIKES! I hope some of them don't show up. I had 32 last year....

Have a good night everyone!

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #35 on: August 13, 2008, 11:23:24 PM »
good evening ladies
well the board meeting was good I did suggest that we set up an orientation for new clients kind of a hiv 101 crash course somewhere that those new to this disease can get questions answered. meet others that are going through the same thing, so they wont feel so alone. they can find out about the services the hospital has. learn what CD4 vl and % are. the board was actually really happy about the idea. I found out there is a women's support group but its been put on hold for lack of attendance. anyhow I have to be up early in the morning for work so I'll say good night
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #36 on: August 14, 2008, 03:13:43 AM »
Hi Ladies,

Welcome, Zanele, & Newby!

Tendai its great to hear from you. whenever I dont for a few days I worry a bit (or more than a bit).

I hope your brother gets better, praying for him. Is he on HAART? what about antibiotics for pneumonia? I used to take them for more than 8 months when my CDs were low to prevent it. Has he in fact seen a doctor at all? 

I saw on CNN last night that the opposition-almighty leader talks were suspended, yet again. I can't imagine what its like to negotiate with someone like that, it must take nerves of steal, and to think that a little pill or 2 could probably solve a lot of the problems. Who knows what someone like that is thinking, maybe that he is a god and will never die.

Snow, it pains and angers me to read about the total scumbag you were with. I dont know what to tell you about your dad, but I think you can talk to your dad, not just about HIV but about all the other stuff, I dont know how much of the abuse you have kept secret.

Viv, I had my nose pierced back in the late 80's, using a gun. It hurt, but not howling kind of hurt, more like a numb, punch in the face hurt. But not a professional punch in the face... it wasnt too bad. The piercing itself is too quiock to feel anything but you would have maybe pain for a couple days but not the kind you can't continue living normally. Wouldnt the school give you trouble over piercing? I do like it but mine is clogged up and I havent been able to reopen it.

Brandy,I wish my hospital had stuff like that. It would also save time for doctors on explaining too basic things, But sometimes I think they dont want us to know too much so that we dont bother them, and they dont want us to unite so that we wouldnt make any claims, for instance for more comfortable hours or a place to sit that wouldnt put us on display.

Betty, kudos for the non-smoking! every day is pure gain. Do you not get to talk to the people there? it must be sad, would make me think a lot. are they actually sleeping there, or coming off the street to eat?

Netta glad you enjoying life, if drained, hope its nothing.

Wendy I missed about the flirt and can't find it, guess its in the old thread. But glad you feel better and can concentrate on the important stuff  ;)

About me, just work, plumbing problems, appointments, we really want to move but prices are sky high in rent and avaialbility's awfully low. there was a place that looked good but its 10 km away from work cycling, that 20 return... I do know people who make such trips but with winter in the waiting I dont know so we let it go, its also far from the train station so uncomfortable for flying etc.
Im not thinking about the wedding cos there's a work trip in less than a month I am nervous about.
I really have to get on with it, but now staying in to wait for a guy to change the locks, and though I could techincally work, any ol' excuse will do.

I have read something that moved me deeply, it's called "Beyond Rape" and its a series of articles that was published in a cleveland newpaper by one of their writers, who was raped in the 80's. it makes for some sombre but cathartic reading, I think. It certainly put me in a perceptive mood.
http://www.cleveland.com/beyondrape/

Just sharin'...

Hugs to you all, and wondering about Queen & Cristy its been ages since they checked in? Hope all's OK, or better than.






"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #37 on: August 14, 2008, 05:20:10 AM »
Good morning ladies

Denise - welcome to the forum..
Betty - isnt it great that u can enjoy your grandkids in spite of this disease? We actually have our own little family epidemic when it comes to HIV it seems, nothing we actually sit down and talk about though..
Drag  - my brother isnt on HAART. He's going to get meds for the pneumonia when he sees the doctor, i hope they work. i think the cold weather we have isnt helping. His CD4 was 225 or something.  I'm asking myself "when will it be my turn to get sick like that?"  I hear u about the accommodation business.  i really want to leave where i am but its cheap compared to the prices other people are charging. Thanks for the link to that story, honestly rapists should get imprisoned for life. I guess she was lucky she didnt get infected with some disease or get killed.

Braved it at the bank, stood in the queue for an hour.  at least thats done and over with.  For now.  This country just isnt working..

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #38 on: August 14, 2008, 05:57:35 AM »
Hi Tendai,

I keep my fingers crossed for your brother. As far as I know, it's only HAART which makes this difference between HIV & AIDS. I mean, when you ask when will you get sick. We can never know for sure but we can control it best by getting on HAART before its too late. That defintion changes from person to person but 200 CD4s is generally considered the red line. I am sure Im not saying anything new to you here. I dont know how accessible the drugs are to you. It seems the whole country isnt talking about the epidemic. But I remember you once mentioned that you can get on meds although you cant do a VL test. Im really hoping that hasnt changed along with other things that arent functioning in Zim. Im hoping too that you arent waiting to see if you get sick to find out if its time for meds. i know in the heirarchy of things there there're probabaly so many things to take care of in daily survivial and helping family that the last thing to think about is the possibility of getting sick and preventing that, but you should be your own priority.

Im just hoping so much something will come out of these talks.

About those articles, its a bit more complex than that. Yeah I also think rapists should be locked up indefinatly, but I also think we need to look at society to see what makes it so violent and specifically in that regard. Once thing that comes out of the story is that the rapist was almost predestined to rape. I think rape is the disease of the whole society. People want the victims to shut up and disappear to b/c they dont want to think about it. Kind of like HIV. I guess.

its a bit depressing but the articles didnt depress me, quite the opposite they talk about what happens when you let something bad take hold of your life by completely avoiding it and how by confronting it you can finally let it go. ironically only facing your own life can release you. Im not one for wallowing in the past esp when we have so much on our plates just with the future, but I think each and every one of us carries such a painful closes box.

anyway I havent finished thinking about the whole thing.

(((Tendai)))
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #39 on: August 14, 2008, 07:46:04 AM »
morning ladies, how u all doin?

Tendai- thanks, well it looks i didn't get the job...they'd said if they haven't responded by noon it then means the post has been filled. its already noon here so i guess...believe something will come up one of these days. i just wish i could be sooner! so ur brother is also +ve? that must be hectic. wel, ma boyfy is too(u shud hear how i got to know bout his status, I'm sure it does not happen everyday!) and have recently discovered his brother also is, now thats hectic...he hasn't told the mom yet i wonder how the poor old woman is goin to take it!its just not fair!

Zanele- welcome beau, its great in here, hope u'll have fun

Newby- welcome hey...

Betty- those are cute pics,

Snow- hope u feeling a little better hey...

Netta- have fun wit ur grandkids, i wish i had one...wel i understand my granny(dad's side) is alive but i don't know her. its such a shame...

Viv- u managed to get thru piercing?

Drag- how r u?wedding preps?

Brandy- u doin sop well. like the initiatives, keep up the spirit

we;ll chec in later, gotta go for ma driving lesson

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #40 on: August 14, 2008, 08:10:25 AM »
Mahalia, sorry about the job. I hope a new and better one comes along. job hunting sucks. Im dreading the moment I have to start again since my contract's temp.

Good luck with the driving. It must be hectic over there.
Im not prepping anything, my BF took care of all that. I just nag him now and again.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #41 on: August 14, 2008, 09:03:01 AM »
thanks Drag, mmm, thats really nice that ur Bf is taking care of everything, u got all the time to do them facials, nails and all, lol. Thats reali nice, u wont be a stressed bride...

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #42 on: August 14, 2008, 11:21:47 AM »
Just checking in to say hi and that I am ok.

Welcome to the ladies area of AIDS meds Denise.  ;D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #43 on: August 14, 2008, 02:48:04 PM »
Hello My Ladies----

It has been a long time since you all have heard from me, I know. I have finally moved into my new place and me and the kitties just love it. I love living alone again. My section 8 has kicked in and I am not paying any rent for the moment but that will change come September. Me and my oldest sister has been getting along great, imagine that. I knew if you would've asked me about living downstairs from her awhile back, I would've said there is no way in hell but funny how things change. We are planning on going to Georgia next month to visit my uncle for a few days. Any ladies down in Ga?

Finally, I have gotten the car fixed and it is now legal, it passed inspection today. I just love how things are finally coming together for me. You all know the hell I have been going through for the past few months. My cd4 has gotten better too, I am now at 805 and my viral load is still undetectable.

At the moment, I am using my friend's latop. My internet should be back up and running in about a week or so. I have really missed you all but had really been busy with things. So look for me in about a week or so. Much love to you all and hello to all the new faces I have seen on here...... :-* :-*

Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #44 on: August 14, 2008, 11:15:05 PM »
Evening ladies,

Hey Queen!  Good to hear from you.  I know moving is a busy time.  I'll look for more from you in about a week.  BTW, I'm glad things are finally looking up.

Denise, welcome to our forum family.  We talk about all kinds of things here, so feel free to share whatever you want, ask questions, whatever.  I was diagnosed in February of 1989.  And I'm still here.  You'll be around for a long time.

Andrea, you chickened out?!  I promise, it really doesn't hurt.  I'm not sure why Drag's even hurt the next day.  That's very unusual.  It's just a pinch for a quick second.  Are you sure the school won't mind?

Brandy, I'm glad you're sharing with other people and trying to help others.

Drag, I do talk to some of the residents where I volunteer.  The place is a facility that houses men.  They also have another facility for women, single moms and their children, and families.  So, the beds are on a first-come, first-serve basis.  And they have daily programs for the residents.  Like some have addictions programs etc.  And they open the doors to feed whoever needs it 3 meals a day, 365 days a year. 

Tendai, I wish your family would talk about the HIV.  It helps to have family support.  I'm always amazed that you survive as well as you do, truly.

Mahalia, your boyfriend and his brother are HIV+ also?  How are they doing?

Wendy, I'm glad you're doing alright.  I've been wondering about ya.

Today was pretty busy.  I exercised, ate breakfast, cleaned the whole apartment (even a little extra cleaning), took a shower, did some shopping, came home and ate, did my nails (yes, I do my own nails), and went to the HIV support group.  At the support group, we all went to a "town hall" meeting at this church in the ghetto part of my town where they were talking about HIV/AIDS.  There were few people there, of course (denial runs high).  I knew the lady who was running it.  Some of the comments people made were so naive.  I just wanted to yell out "CONDOMS" a few times.  But, I refrained and acted like a lady.  Now, some other time, I might pull out my biker bitch personality and do it.  I think they were talking about having more of these meetings (hee). 

Then I talked to my best friend for like two hours.  Other than that, I'm going to bed in a few minutes.  I hope you ladies all have a good night.



I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #45 on: August 15, 2008, 08:22:47 AM »
Good afternoon ladies


Drag - thanks for the hug. i wont wait till i get sick to start meds. i pray that i wont need them for some time yet. im overdue for CD4 test, i'll do it as soon as i get my sh*t together and deal with more urgent things.  they still dont do the VL test.  they'll just wait till u're below 200 then recommend or prescribe HAART/ARVs.  Its the poverty thats killing people.  i really doubt if he would have gotten this sick if he had been able to eat well. He isnt working at the moment and where they stay with his wife things are really really bad. He's better off at home in the rurals/countryside, at least they can grow food and keep chickens etc.  Things are bad everywhere though.  Those idiots doing the talks really seem to forget that they have millions of people going thru hell right now becoz of their politics. How long do they want us to wait till they can reach a resolution? we really cant wait much longer its getting really close to breaking point. We can only hope coz the old turd really wants to maintain his death grip on the country.
i promise i'll do my best to look after myself, i will. Its just the situation here makes everything so difficult.

Queen - hie! great to see you again, im glad things are going so well for you now, with your sister, your car, your apartment, your fantastic numbers.. u're on a roll girl..next thing u'll be telling us u got a boyfriend!

Mahalia - yes it is hectic about my brother. i'm just glad its not too serious as we had feared coz my dad was like " save up money for the funeral girls, he doesnt have long to live"  WTF?  Now u got me curious about how u found out about your boyfy's status.  Come on girl spill it!  I hope their mother takes it well, it probably will break her heart, but women esecially mothers are strong resilient creatures.. Sorry about the job.  I agree with drag, you might get an even better one.  when one door is closed another is open

wendy - hey, glad u're doing fine.

i hate my freaking boss today.  tore my head off coz i was late to the office coz i went to the bank.  said i should only go to the bank on saturdays and not use his working hours to go banking. as if i would sit on my ass and wait for saturday while my brother needs the money for his treatment and transport and whatever. he must be out of his mind if he thinks i'll put his stupid job ahead of my brothers health. its not like it was even my fault, some idiot from the bank who had the keys didnt come to work on time and they only opened the damn doors at 9.00 after having us wait since 8am. had they opened in time i wouldve made it to work by 8.30.  dr evil can be such an ass i cant believe it.  we were having a bitching session with my co-workers, we all agreed how evil he can be.  and to think yesterday after work when he was dropping us off in town and i said i wanted to go to the ATM he actually took me there and dropped me close to my busstop rather than letting me wander around town by myself that late.  i mean that was so nice of him and all, then he wakes up today regretting it i think, so he had to show how mean he is. a**hole.

Apart from that, nothing's up this side.  I came into town with Maidman (remember the guy who referredt to his wife as his maid). We're just friends now and we were moaning together about the state of the country and he'll be busy making these lame jokes, he;s such an idiot. I like his company though.  Too bad he's broke now, used to drive around in a Lexus. he of all people should be very bitter about being reduced to a pedestrian with his cars gathering dust in his garage coz petrols so expensive.
Well thats it for me today.  Two more hours and its home time. Cant wait to go home to darkness. Thank God its Friday!

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #46 on: August 15, 2008, 08:39:37 AM »
Good morning wonderful women... u good?

Betty- ma boyfriend is not yet on treatment, i learned he was +ve this yr February and hasn't been monitoring his counts which is quite scary, i keep bugging him about. he's finally did them three weeks ago and is stil to collect them. I just think that he is scared bout goin to take them. It realli worries me that he is not monitoring how he is doin but everytime i bring up the topic he hits the roof and says he does not need reminders coz he knows he should do it so... m just here hoping that he will go take them sooner than later...
i understand the brother is on treatment but is not adhering well to it... :(

Zanele- where in Africa are you from, I'm from Botswana?

M goin to be spend the nite at ma boyfriends, i think i'll also do it 2mrw. he is out of town so he had left his younger sister and nephew to house sit for him, he checked on them this morning and told him someone tried to break in the house last nite...so will be accompanying them. its reali worrying because he has house has been broken into 3times this year and this in two different locations in town! i just think its someone who knows him , coz they have even broken into his ex-office place. hope we wont fight about my not spending the weekend at home with ma mom!!!

Enjoy ur weekend ladies :-*

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #47 on: August 15, 2008, 08:55:36 AM »
hey Tendai- if you think ur boss is an a**hole you should see mine! he is also Zim...i just him. You ma colleague who passed away with his wife? he is also Zim...well ma sick boss is not goin to push that they pay the group life assurance cover all employees are supposed to have because he was due to resign just the day after he passed on. if he was human enough he would just put the poor man on the payment schedule and have the insurer pay coz it was he stilll had a day to go you know, the insurer would pay as long as his premium was paid for! so rite now he is giving all sort of excuses and reasons why the cannot process it!the f****!i mean they are leaving behind 3kids!

pm me bout boyfy story!ibut u know sometimes i just wonder how hard its goin to be for their mom if we do get married wit ma man, 3pple in one family,thats just so cruel u know!


Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #48 on: August 15, 2008, 09:18:25 AM »
oh Brandy i just read in other thread what a wonderful man u have, thats so great!feels good to be loved so...hey!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #49 on: August 15, 2008, 12:08:51 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Tendai, I'm so sorry about your brother and his living situation.  I wish there was some immediate thing that could be done for all you guys over there.  That's just so sad, every time I read something from you, I wish I was there to give you a hug and a shoulder.  I think of you often.

Mahalia, I hope your boyfriend gets his counts pretty soon.  I know a couple people who don't monitor their blood counts regularly, mostly because they're scared.  Hopefully your boyfriend (and the people I know) will get over their fears and start taking charge of their health.  I'm sure it's hard on the mother, but mothers are extremely strong people (believe me, I know).  I'm sure your bf's mother would love you just the same.

In a couple of hours my granddaughter will be here and we'll be heading off to a movie.  My friends Alex and Joe stopped by (you all remember Alex was the guy staying with me and Joe was one of my other Native American friends).  Alex had a few things left here that he wanted to pick up.  We all had a good visit.  I really wasn't expecting them, but it was nice to see them just the same.  I really need to keep in touch with people better.  Sometimes I feel really out of touch.  Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good afternoon.  I'll probably be back later; depends on how long my granddaughter is here. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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