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Author Topic: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.  (Read 28060 times)

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Offline Winiroo

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Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« on: August 10, 2008, 01:47:01 PM »
History for the last several threads.

Part 41 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=22284.msg284053#msg284053
Part 40 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=22087.msg281868#msg281868
Part 39 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21925.msg280027#msg280027
Part 38 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21803.msg278402#msg278402
Part 37 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21631.msg276506#msg276506
Part 36 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21381.msg273819#msg273819
Part 35 http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=21101.msg270532#msg270532


The CT I had in the ER showed a tiny cyst on my liver which they aren't concerned about and it showed that I have a Bochdalek hernia which is a congenital defect of my diaphragm that allows the contents of my abdomen to slip into my chest cavity.
I had to look that info up for myself. Parkland <the county "free" hospital I use"> didn't say anything about it when I was discharged from the ER.
I found out about it last Friday when I went in for my regular clinic appointment and my nurse practitioner which BTW I don't trust with my health what so ever stated what was on the CT report.
I asked her for a copy of the report but of course they cant possibly give me a copy so I made her write the name of the hernia down telling her I was going to look it up on my own.
She didn't out right say it but when I asked for more pain medication she mildly suggested that the pain was in my head because they cant find anything wrong with me to explain the pain.
Well looking up the hernia online it list the symptoms as chest pain, difficulty breathing, abdominal pain, intestinal obstruction and symptoms similar to gastro reflux disorder.
Ding ding ding. There are all my freaking symptoms. Parkland is full of idiots I swear.
I printed the page out and plan on showing them next time I go in. In the mean time I am starting the meds to kill the H pylori infection I have.
I figure since it is congenital I can live with it a little longer before going back to the doctors.  ;D



Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2008, 04:56:40 PM »
Oh Win! What a hassle! We go to professionals with the belief that they will help. I wish you could find a different doctor. Before I was diagnosed I was having severe throat pain and when I went to the doctor he said it didn't look like it should be hurting like I said it did. It wasn't until I went to an ENT and he scoped it that they did something. I did not even have to ask for pain medication. After looking at it he immediately prescribed me Vicadin. I really hope you feel better soon. It just sucks to be sick.

Well I had my PAP smear last week and it came back abnormal and now I have to have a coloscopy. I am not looking forward to that. I just hope it's nothing.

Did laundry today and that's about all. I have a whole of a Language Arts seminar that I am not looking forward to. The only thing I tell myself is I'm getting paid.

Sun-It is so nice to hear from you. I am glad things are going so well!

Betty-Has your brother published any of his poetry?

Since the other posts are in the previous thread I can't go back and check. I am sorry. Hello to all my girls!!!!! :) ;D ;D ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2008, 07:20:01 PM »
Evening ladies,

Wendy, good Lord.  Can't you go to another doctor somewhere?  You're not being treated adequately, that's for sure.  I would not shut up until they did something about that hernia.   About the sugar, believe me, I'm in a mood tonight that I would eat any sugary thing put in front of me.

Andrea, yes, my brother's poetry has been published, in the small press.  He has three or four chapbooks that have been published.   I guess the only thing you can tell yourself about seminars you don't like is that you're getting paid.  So, you really don't have much time off do you?

Sun, good to hear from you again.

I kind of crashed today.  I went to the volunteer thing, ate and almost ran to my car to leave.  On the way home I felt like "I need to drop out of school and go into a hermit's existence."  I got home, laid down and slept for two hours.  Of course, during that time I had quite a few disturbing dreams and woke up thinking "why am I still alive anyway?"  The only thing I can trace it to is the Chantix.  The whole depression thing started 2 1/2 weeks ago (and I've been on the Chantix for 3 weeks).  I'm unsure what to do.  I'm not actually going to off myself.  I don't want to start smoking again.  I'm thinking maybe I can tough out the 9 more weeks.  Just do what I absolutely have to do every day and sleep as much as I can.  Maybe by the time 9 more weeks is over, I'll emerge a butterfly.  Anyway, that's been my life for the last little while.  I really didn't want to say anything until I knew what the cause was.  I can't trace it to anything else.  And yes, I'm a person who's prone to depression.

Anyway, that's been my day.  I hope you ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2008, 07:28:35 PM »
That Chantix sounds scary. I don't think I would take it. I hope you get better.

I cant go anywhere else. I don't have insurance. The only other option is to move to a different county and use their public clinic. Which isn't going to happen.
Fortunately I am not new to HIV and I probably know a little more than many other patients at the clinic.
I'll get what I need done. Its just a matter of putting my foot down and bulldogging the right people.
 ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2008, 08:11:54 PM »
Oh, I was just reminded by one of my best friends why I'm so depressed today-this is the exact date (a year ago) that my mum died.  God, I miss her.  I'm so relieved to know I'm not going insane (at least not today). ;)

Wendy, raise hell girl!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2008, 09:05:19 PM »
Light a candle for your Momma. I'm glad you know your not a coocoo bird.  ;D Well no more so than any  of us.
Try to remember the good things. That seems to help me when I'm missing my family.

Offline TreDai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2008, 09:47:34 PM »
Wini, I am praying for you and I know you are a hand full and a half give them hell!!! honey!!

Betty, whisper a prayer and know we are all here with you.

Luv y'all much!!
"Our people die because of a lack of knowledge"
 Miss Ohio Plus America 2008

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2008, 10:11:42 PM »
Betty, I'll pray for you. You know my therapist told me that subconsciously we remember things. I was having a hard time in May and I couldn't figure out why. After talking about I realized that May was a pretty heavy month for me. It is my brother's birthday month, the month he died, and the month I was diagnosed with HIV. I guess I should have put them all together but I didn't. She, the dr., said that our bodies remember.

Please be careful with the medicine. Maybe there's another option.

Off to dinner with my dad!

Offline minismom

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2008, 11:26:50 PM »
Hiya my sweet schnookums.  It's late, I'm tired, and not really sure if I feel better or not.  I think I'm sleeping better, but I'm still really tired throughout the day, so I have no idea what's going on.  Did I ever mention how much I HATE prednisone?  My night time dose sets my poor belly on fire.  I take it with a small snack, but no matter what, it still sets me on fire.  So, I take it with a double shot of Pepto and 4 Tum chasers.  That doesn't even get rid of the fire, it just knocks it down to a smolder.

Betty, i agree with Andrea, our subconscience remembers things that our conscience memories don't seem to grasp.  I'm sorry today was such a hard day for you.  But, look back over the last year and I bet you can find times when your mum was right there with you. 

Wendy, my love, I ask again, what am i going to do with you?  Instead of sending you a book, I'm sending you boxing gloves and a "Bring it On!" t-shirt.  It's a shame things that should be easy are always the things we have to fight the hardest for. 

My head is still pounding just behind my left eye.  It's a TON better during the day, but at night and 1st thing in the morning I feel it the most.  I can bend my head down a bit now so that's an improvement.  My cough is better, but not gone.  And, I managed to dance yesterday and today without having to use my inhaler.  YEAH, ME!!  I guess overall things are getting better, just not as fast as I'd like them to.

I'm not sure how much, if any, I'll be able to log on tomorrow and Tuesday.  I've packed up most of Mini's stuff, and some of mine.  I'll spend tomorrow doing laundry and getting things finalized.  I still have to cook and freeze dinners for the family while I'm gone.  I also want to make some sugar-free chocolate chip cookies for Mini and I to snack on.  WHEW! We'll be leaving Tuesday afternoon to drive the 3hrs to Pittsburgh and spend the night there.  Our plane leaves before 6am on Wed. morning.  We're due to arrive in MC just after 2pm.  Anyway, if I don't get to say it before I leave, know that I love you all and I'll talk to you after we get back on the 19th.  Take care of yourselves and each other.  And, most important, don't do anything really cool - I hate missing out on the cool stuff.

Much love spanning out to all of you!
Mum

edited because I hit a wrong button.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2008, 11:37:47 PM by minismom »
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"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2008, 12:33:54 AM »
Hey Ladies,

Sorry to confuse you all with all the D's

DS= Darling Son
DD= Darling Daughter
DH= Darling Husband

I got those from my days on the babycenter.com Well im just lurking tonight getting ready to go to bed, I gotta be at work at 7 a.m Just checking in Holla at cha Later!  Good night!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2008, 03:13:26 AM »
Hi ladies,

Win, love the title. I hope that your self diagnosis is the highway to feeling better and might also give them a wakeup call as to how they do their job.

Betty, I also went bonkers on the smoking cessation med (it was zyban in pre-chantix times) and I stopped taking it after 10 days, but that was enough (later i got back to smoking around my diagnosis but quitting a year later was relatively pain free and I did it w/out meds). so if you think youre depressed cos of the chamtix, be careful, i remember Ann wrote about that in her blog. Other than that, I always try to aknowledge my crappy feelings and tell myself just b/c I feel them i dont have to change anything. for example. now there is a voice in my head yapping about how useless and underqualified I am for my job and how lazy and far behind and what a sham it all is and that even when I do finish it Im likely to be unemployed (without benefits) cos then I'll be overqualified at something totally impractical. there is some truth to this but Im going to work anyway... I try to aknowledge my depressed thoughts but dont let them control me. Its as though there was someone in the room constantly putting me down with drk predicaments, bullying, etc. well if it was a real person Id kick them out already, but its me so I have to put up with that but I wont let it derail me completely.

I think I am usually depressed but living with. "what's the point" and "I want to die" have been with me for most of my life.

Light a candle for your mom, you've been there for her and with her, she went away knowing that. she would be happy for you not smoking!! put the smoke money away and see it pile up for each clean day. you might be able to stop the chantix sooner and remain smoke free, dont force yourself to take it... focus on the non smoking and ask your doc who prescribed it.

Keeping it's all clear now, I guess Im just dense when it comes to abbreviations, that happens a lot here.

Viv, sorry about the PAP. Hope the colonoscopy is OK. I should have a PAP too, I guess in about a week.

Sun - welcome back! although I didnt see any post from you but I'll look for it.

TreDai - ditto!

Mom- have a wonderful safe & easy trip and give Mini a cuddle for me.

Hugs to all,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2008, 09:40:44 AM »
beautiful, fantabulous women how u all doin?

Brandy- i love that name, love the sound of it. virally enhanced sisterhood...

Mom- pliz get better n do have lots of fun wit Mini.

Betty- u just dont know how thsi staying with ma mum is driving me insane. Ma boyfriend stays bout 5mins drive away from ma house but i can spend the whole week witout seeing him. am other friend the other day was telling me i'm playing with fire!!!hahaha!
congrats, u doin well with your quiting smoking...

Snow- happy belated to ur son

Viv- i did ma pap bout two weeks back and it came back abnormal, i had an infection(candida) so they gave me medication for that, i am due for another one in two weeks, hope it'll will be ok.


I'm back at work, and this is goin to be one hell of a long week, ma boyfriend went on a 7day trip this morning...and we just heard veri sad news; a colleague of mine passed away on Thursday from a car accident and the wife has been on coma since, she passed away on Saturday morning, the day that the husband was laid to rest. it is so depressing and the trauma that the kids must be going thru!!!we'll try go for the funeral and make some contribution, the poor kids need it...

Twas ma friends birthday on Saturday, so we planning on taking her out to sum nice Italian tonite. i don't know how m goin to go thru the month. after the contributions and now this date!God help me.

the guys i interviewed with said they will get back to us today, i hope they call with some great news. please believe wit me.

Lots of love to all u ladies, gotta work...



Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2008, 11:43:36 AM »
Morning/afternoon ladies,

Wendy, how are you today?

TreDai, nice to hear from you.

Andrea, how was dinner with you dad?  Enjoy those times.

Mum, is there something in your house making you sick all the time or are you sure it's the mold from your dance studio?  Anyway, have a wonderful time in MC. 

Keeping, thanks for clearing up what the d's meant.  That's cute.

Drag, yeah, I know about the psychiatric side effects Chantix can have; and I do tend toward depression.  But, once I realized why I was so depressed yesterday and had a few good, long cries (along with talking to my best friend) I felt better.  I'm feeling better today.  Now, about the voices in your head telling you "what's the use" etc.  have you ever talked to your doctor about these?  You don't see a therapist do you?  Maybe you have untreated depression.  I don't think it's normal to have negative thoughts all the time.  Please take care of yourself.

Mahlia, I'm sorry about your friends who passed away.  I hope you have fun taking your friend out for Italian.  That sounds good.  And mucho good luck on getting the job you want!  I'll be keeping fingers and legs crossed.

I haven't done anything today except eat breakfast and take care of my cat (morning treat, cleaning the litterbox).  I haven't even done the dishes, or taken a shower.  I decided I'm just going to be lazy today.  I laid down this morning after I ate breakfast and didn't get back up until 11:00.  That's really not like me, but sometimes I guess I need to do this. (And I do it rarely)  I might take a shower this afternoon after I eat dinner; then again, I might not.  I might stay in my p.j.'s all day. 

I really don't have any news to report.  I hope everyone's having a good day.  I'll probably be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2008, 12:02:33 PM »
TreDai   - Thank you

Mum - Have you tried a netty pot for your sinuses? I've used one before and it works wonderfully and Dr. Oz on Oprah even suggested it. It looks silly but it cleans you out real good. Its not expensive either.
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oprahshow/slideshow1_ss_oz_20070426/6

Wendy, my love, I ask again, what am i going to do with you?  Instead of sending you a book, I'm sending you boxing gloves and a "Bring it On!" t-shirt.  It's a shame things that should be easy are always the things we have to fight the hardest for. 

LOL I like that
I hope you and Mini have a great time on your trip and please try the netty pot maybe you can have clear sinuses before getting on the plane.

Keeping - Thanks for the definitions. I had no clue what you where talking about LOL

Drag - Thanks, At least I am being kept on my toes with this whole thing. Its kind of a good thing to be in charge of myself. I've had good health care before so now I know I didn't appreciate it well enough when I did have it. Its kind of humbling. I am fortunate that I have a pretty good knowledge of my body and I have some medical education. I also have several educated friends and I am still in contact with my prior heath care provider.
Budgets where cut at the clinic I go to a couple of years ago and the physicians assistant I had been seeing since 1992 was replaced with a few cheaper nurse practitioners. Which in my opinion are less educated and less competent to provide quality care.
My physicians assistant was hired to work at the VA hospital's HIV clinic where my boyfriend gets his care. So she is his PA now. She is awesome. love her. So I am unlucky in some ways but lucky in others.

Mahalia - enjoy the dinner. sounds nice.


Betty - I feel ok now that I have taken some pain meds.  :) I went to work this morning and did my normal routine. I've said this like a million times I am sure but if its a normal unbusy day I can finish with work in an hour. On the way home I stopped at Walmart and walked around the clothes looking at shirts. I didn't really like anything but I wanted to buy a mens shirt or a big ladies shirt. Something comfortable. Something that was all about comfort and nothing to do with fashionable. I settled for a Just my size brand tshirt. Just a plain old white tshirt. I didn't like anything in the mens department. The material was either too rough or the design on the shirt was stupid.
Its big baggy cheap and aside from the color it is just what I wanted. LOL A little retail therapy is what I call it.

I am tolerating the antibiotics and the new HIV med fairly well. I've only noticed that I am hiccuping and having some mild indigestion but they have me on Nexium so thats likely keeping it to a minimum.
My only other complaint is that I am having my period and its the wrong time. I'm still taking the birthcontrol and having a bleed through apparently. Hate periods, terribly inconvenient, messy and painful.
Not like I need any extra abdominal pain LOL

It rained here this morning a little so its 11 am now and not 110 outside. Its really pretty overcast and only 84. I like this kind of weather. It suits me.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2008, 05:01:17 PM »
Wendy, I'm sorry you're having your period on top of what else is going on.  Glad you're tolerating the meds, though.  I hope it passes fast.  Oh, did Billy get you those flowers in your new picture?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #15 on: August 11, 2008, 06:15:09 PM »
hello my virally enhanced sisterhood
sorry I haven't been on well I have lol I logged on then my computer crashed so it left me logged on not much going on today my first board meeting is wed I'm nervous :) I'm working on a poz chat site we'er working on the name and a few details server wise we almost have it up :) the few Ive been to have been to high and mighty if you make me mad your gone! I believe that there should be no bashing etc but because you made the person monitoring mad or even the Creator is in my eyes taking it a bit far not everyone is going to like everyone else that doesn't in no mean they still dint need have a support system. poz chat room aren't just for dating lol but for being where you feel safe enough to be yourself even if you an @$$ maybe I'm wrong. . . anyhow I'm off to work!!!
love Brandy
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2008, 08:51:56 PM »
Wendy, I'm sorry you're having your period on top of what else is going on.  Glad you're tolerating the meds, though.  I hope it passes fast.  Oh, did Billy get you those flowers in your new picture?

LOL No they are fake. I have that silly picture up because someone was going on about how pretty I was in another thread and it made me feel like being a goof.

I'm feeling pukey right now. I'll get over it.

Offline zanele38

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2008, 08:53:24 PM »
Hi Ladies im new to the site..thank u to the lady who replied me from the main forum..May God bless u all.
Luv u all...Take care xxx

Offline zanele38

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2008, 08:57:48 PM »
WINIROO thank u for the message...Im trying to understand hw this work..i mean to post the message..
Take care love...

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2008, 09:38:12 PM »
Hello Ladies!

Win-Boy when it rains it pours! You sound like you are feeling better... ;D I can totally relate to "retail therapy"...my problem is I usually end up with buyers remorse LOL!

Betty-I love days when I can just be lazy. I am glad you were able to have a good cry. Just be careful ok? Depression can really sneak up on you. Dinner was nice with my dad.

Brandy-Is the chat site something you are developing on your own?

Drag-I have to have a COLOSCOPY...not to be mistaken for a COLONOSCOPY...LOL! Two COMPLETELY different areas... ;D I am pretty sure nothing is wrong. I think it is probably just one of the wonderful things we have to deal with being "Viraly Enhanced"

Zanele-Welcome!

Well today was TOTALLY boring! I am so OVER these "seminar/trainings" Ok all my pierced ladies...help me out. I have for the longest time wanted to get my nose pierced and decided that I am just going to do it. The problem is I am so afraid it is going to hurt REALLY bad. I have been trying to get information online...I know, dorky. A lot of people have said it does not hurt. I even watched some on Youtube. Of course some people will say it doesn't hurt just to be tough. The only piercings I have are the 2 in each ear. I am thinking of taking a pain pill before I get it done. So, those in the know...how bad does it hurt?

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #20 on: August 12, 2008, 01:06:50 AM »
yes viv its something my boyfriend and i are doing we changed servers so we could support the bandwith of people loggin on and chatting and not crashing :) hes the brains behind it my idea but im not that smart lol computer wise at least lol
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline minismom

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #21 on: August 12, 2008, 07:27:24 AM »
Just had to say one more GOODBYE before we head out to Pittsburgh.  You all be good and I'll see you all next week.  Love to you all and take care!

Zenele: welcome, welcome, welcome!!  Hope to get to know you better when I get back.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #22 on: August 12, 2008, 09:44:12 AM »
Mum-Have a good time! Look forward to hearing how it went!

Betty-I'm surprised you have not already posted!  :) Hope everything is ok!

Win-Feeling ok?

Another day.......talk to you all later! ;D

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #23 on: August 12, 2008, 10:05:44 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wendy, I read where that guy was flirting with you.  Did you feel flattered?  And how are you feeling?  I hope that h. pylori goes away soon.  Do you know how long it takes to clear up? 

Andrea, no, getting the nose pierced does not hurt.  At least it didn't when I got it done (which was years ago).  I even took the stud out for a couple years, then re-pierced it myself with those piercing kits you can get in a beauty supply store.  You won't need a pain pill beforehand.  It's over before you know it.  How much longer is your seminar?

Brandy, I think that's cool that you're trying to develop a chat room.

Mum, have a wonderful time!  I'm totally jealous.

Zanele, welcome.  I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Well, I'm showered and ready to go (my volunteer thing at Hope Ministries).  I don't understand why they changed the name of the place from Hope Rescue Mission to Hope Ministries.  I think it sounds too religious.  Of course, since they don't receive government funding, they are kind of "church" run. 

Last night I just watched Jeopardy, then talked on the phone, read, and went to bed.  Today I'm going to try to remember to go by the bank and to the store.  Hopefully, I'll remember.  I don't always.  I really wanted a cigarette yesterday, but I didn't give in.  I came pretty close though.  I don't want to go back.  When I think about wanting a cigarette, I think about the shortness of breath, the stink, and the cost.  Even roll-your-owns are getting expensive.           Well ladies, have a good day.  I'll probably be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #24 on: August 12, 2008, 11:23:13 AM »
Hi Ladies-

Win- I hate that you had to deal with that person at the doctor.  Can you imagine how she makes people feel that don't have the presence of mind or can't look things up on the internet for themselves.  Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder, I can't stand people like that.  They should give you an RN/doc badge and salary.  I hope things get better for you soon.

Betty- I keep forgetting to tell you, I love your new avatar, that is such a cute pic.  I am glad you didn't cave in yesterday!  I can't imagine how hard it must be, but you are doing a great job! 

Drag- I like how you put that if someone was in the room saying those things to you, you would have kicked them out by now, I never thought of it that way.  It is so true, that we can sometimes be our own worst enemy.  I wish I could tell you a way to stop but I do the same thing myself.  All I can say is that you are a beautiful, caring and gifted women that is strong enough to do anything you put your mind to :)

Welcome Zanale!

HI Sun- So happy to hear things are going well for you.  Try to keep in touch when you can.

Viv- Good luck with the coloscopy.

Tre- I love your avatar, beautiful pic!

Keeping- How are things going with you?

Brandy- What kind of chat room are you trying to start, I think I missed it ? :)

Mum and Mini- I hope you guys have a wonderful trip!

Mahalia- Thank you :)

My sons b-day was Sat. and it really sucked for me.  It took me awhile in the morning to get myself together and stop crying.  He was actually due around Sept 5 and I had him early.  I was having extremely painful back labor and I had called his father to tell him I needed to go to the hospital which was at least 20 minutes away.  I have an  high pain level and was screaming in agony and he told me to " Shut the fuck up and lay down, he has had kids before and it was too early for me???"  I was too afraid to call and ambulance because I thought I would have to tell them about the HIV and my mother didn't know at the time so I drove my stick shift to the hospital.  God was with me that night, because I have no idea how I made it.  Then he shows up hours later, drunk, basically passed out until I had him and then leaves to celebrate?  I had to call him to get the information to put on the birth certificate and he threatened me that "His son better have his f-in last name, or else" When he finally came back days later so we could come home, he found out my son had my last name and it was too late for him to do anything about it.  I am so happy that he is jail right now but I am dreading that he is going to get out soon.  I really hopes he follows what he wrote in the assanine letter that he sent and leaves us alone.  Plus, my mother thinks I should tell my father about the HIV.  When my parents got divorced in the early 90's my father decided it would be easier for everyone involved to stop talking to me too, so I just started having him back in my life a few months after my son was born in 98.  He keeps asking my mother how I support the house and the kids not working and has offered to go get a job to help me if things don't work out with my SO.  He knows I would never get enough to survive on welfare?  What can I say?  If I tell him I am on disability he is going to want to know why?  Part of me is afraid of telling him everything because I don't want to lose him again and another part of me is afraid of what he would do if he ever had to see my sons father again.  I have been hiding this shit for so long I feel like- I am not sure what I feel like- angry that I had to hide it all, that my whole life had been a lie, sad and alone, scared.  I know I will figure it out and things will work out in the end but I just wish it was over with already.  I am on pins and needles waiting to see how my father is going to act and what shitbag is going to do when he gets out of jail.
Sorry this was so long, guess I needed to vent  :o  Thank you, guys ,for being here ;D

Hope every is doing well!
Snow







Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2008, 11:43:17 AM »
zanele38 - Good to see you in the ladies forum

Andrea - I don't have my nose pierced but i imagine it doesn't hurt much. I mean if you put one finger inside and one outside and pinch it doesn't really hurt and those piercing guns are really fast. I wouldn't bother with the pain pill. Its likely you are just anxious.
I'm still doing ok in the mornings mostly. I had a rough evening yesterday with vomiting. But with all the antibiotics I am on its not surprising. Just a recap I am taking 4 amoxicillin a day, 2 azithromycin a day, and 1 Nexium to try help keep the indigestion down from all the antibiotics. That plus my HIV meds, birthcontrol and pain pills as needed. And eventually some fluconazole for the yeast infection all these antibiotics will surely give me. LOL Its going to kill the h pylori for sure but the side effects of the meds are not pleasant Its supposed to take 14 days of antibiotics but I lost count of what day I am on.


Mum - If you see this have a wonderful trip!

Snow - LOL The Nurse practitioner I see is not a mean person she is actually pretty nice. She just doesn't spend any time talking with you and really does no exam when she is in the room with you. I think the only thing she has ever done is listen to my lungs. She is a fast talker and seems to be in a hurry to leave the room.
I don't need a nice person to treat me, I just need someone to treat me. LOL Being nice is just a bonus.
I want to have a care provider who genuinely seems interested in how I am feeling and seemingly wants to do everything in their power to make me feel the best I can feel.
She is more of a wham bam thank you mam. She may not have the time. I don't know what the expectations of the clinic is on her but to be frank I don't care about what the clinic wants. I expect to be treated completely and accurately I don't want to be shuffled in and out with no clue what is going on. I am not satisfied with blindly following orders of doctors. I want to know everything and I'd like them to spend the time it takes to tell me and make sure I am ok. That might mean they have to spend an extra 10 minutes with me God forbid. LOL
BTW she is usually in and out in less than 5 minutes and I am being generous when I say 5 minutes.

Oh Snow your father and discloser and your son and his fathers being a complete fucker. Jeezz hun.
If you are looking for a suggestion I think it might be healthy for you to go ahead and tell your dad. Holding in all that and the stress it is causing you is just so sad. I know you don't want to disappoint your father and you are afraid of how he will react but think about it and think about what would be the worst thing that could happen then I guess you can decide it it would be worth it or not. I'm sorry you have to go through this. My parents where weird for a little while and my dad never really liked my husband afterward but everyone was civil. So I guess I was lucky.


Betty - I love when people tell me I am pretty and I don't mind mild flirts as long as they are respectful and he was. So its ok. It just made me feel silly because with as sick as I have been I don't feel all that pretty right now. LOL Hence the silly pictures. I'll change it back to the pretty ones in a day or so. I was just having fun, being goofy me.

I kinda covered how I was feeling and how long it takes to kill this bug above in the response to Andrea.

Kick that cigarette addictions ass gal. Your doing great!

Billy went to work for me this morning and told me to sleep in. Of course he told me not to drink any soda either and just water and pedialite but I'm drinking a soda.  :)
I need to go take some imodium and have some breakfast so I can take my meds.

Hope you ladies have a wonderful day.
Man this was a long ass post. If you read all this your better than me. LOL

Offline netta

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2008, 07:08:44 PM »
Hi ladies just checking in, welcome to Zanele . hope everyone is fine. been busy with the grands taking the little one back and forth to school for the week. Her dad is out of town and my dd has to be to work early.I am enjoying my  grands and the beautiful lake that is part of their subdivision. felling a little drained, catching a cold or something. love to all.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2008, 07:10:38 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2008, 08:43:20 PM »
Evening ladies,

Snow, I would be honest with your father.  Express your fears, needs etc.  You might be surprised.  I think he'll be a little shook up (most people are), but he'll probably come around.  You know, we're here no matter what happens.   Do you have a restraining order against Shitbag?  When is he supposed to get out of jail?  He sounds like such an ass; just like my 1st husband.  When my daughter was born, he was in jail.  In fact, that's the first place he saw his daughter; I took her so he could see her (while he was in jail).  My 1st husband was a very abusive alcoholic.  Those guys are best left to the dogs.  Of course, my husband died, so I'm off the hook. I'm not trying to sound cavalier.  I'm just stating facts.  Keep yourself safe and please check in with us more often.

Wendy, those sure are a lot of antibiotics to be taking.  Is the Nexium helping?  I hope so.  I know you'll be glad once that bug is gone out of your poor tummy.   Keep yourself hydrated girlie; you don't want another problem.

Netta, thanks for checking in.  I'm glad you're able to spend some quality time with your grandkids.  I'm probably going to see my granddaughter this Friday.  My grandkids both start school next week.  My grandson is going to be in his first year in preschool.  I hope he does alright.

It's just a quiet evening.  Things went well at the Hope today (my volunteer job).  I haven't done anything exciting-changed the cat's litter (woohoo).  I hope you ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #28 on: August 13, 2008, 09:41:18 AM »
Good Morning!

Betty-Are you going to keep volunteering when school starts?

Wendy-Keep feeling better!  :)

Netta-Hi!

Snow-I agree with Betty. You should tell your dad. I know that I was so afaid to tell mine but he was not angry with me at all. He was just completely heartbroken...and wanted to kill Mr. Wonderful... :). But I don't know the relationship you have with your dad. You will probably feel better though once it is out.

Well I decided to change my colposcopy to Friday instead of Monday. I just want to get it over with and I don't care if I miss the last day of this seminar. What a pain! I have also been taking birth control to attempt to regulate my periods and for the last week I have had spotting. The doctor said to keep taking it for about 3 months and then see how it works. It is just annoying. I hope it doesn't effect the procedure Friday. You know how they don't like to do anything when you are on your period. It's not even a "period" just a little annoying bloody discharge...ugh!

Well, I think I am going today to get my nose pierced. I don't know what has possesed me. I want to do it but I am nervous about it. I am sure my mother will have plenty to say. Oh well.

That's all for now. TTYL!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #29 on: August 13, 2008, 10:19:51 AM »
Morning ladies,

Andrea, I hope you're able to get the procedure done Friday.  I'm sure that will ease your mind.  Going to get your nose pierced today, eh?  I hope you like it.  You'll do alright.  I took my eyebrow piercing out about a month ago.  But, that's not to say I won't get another wild hair sometime and do it again.  Oh, and yes, I'm still going to volunteer while going to school.  That'll keep me good and busy.

Nothing exciting to report right now.  I'm going to leave for my volunteer job in about 20-25 minutes.  My cat is chasing a fly.  I absolutely loathe getting flies in my apartment.  I think they're evil, filthy creatures. 

What's everyone up to? 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #30 on: August 13, 2008, 10:22:18 AM »
hi ladies.

zanele - welcome to the forum, great to have you here

snow - sorry u're feeling so low. i agree that u talk with your dad and tell him, he may prove to be a great source of support, and you may feel a lot better when everythings in the open and u dont have secrets.  btw, your Out of the mouths of babes is hilarious!

drag - hie! how u been?  hope u feeling better now.  i get those feelings sometimes too, fortunately its usually PMS. hows mr drag and the wedding plans going?

mum - have a great time!

wendy - i hope u're feeling better, u do have a rough time of it, and those doctors! good thing u're so proactive with your own health otherwise who knows..

betty - im glad u're enjoying the volunteering.  and sticking with the non-smoking. i also hate flies, but not as much as i hate roaches oh my gosh i LOATHE those things!

mahalia - sorry about the death of your friends.  i hope u get the job..

andrea - good luck with the colposcopy. i hope u like the nose ring. i think it would suit you.. i know i could never do that, i hate being pierced

drat, i have to go. um nothing at all is happening with me, nothing interesting anyway, just revived the struggle to get money out of the bank and send it to my sister and mum who're taking care of my brother who i think has PCP or something.  he's doing much better now though my mum wants to take him "home" and take care of him there rather than where he's staying now which may be contributing to his ill-health.

i'll catch u all later. ciao for now :-*

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #31 on: August 13, 2008, 11:39:49 AM »
well ladies
in a few I will be at my first broad meeting I should be getting ready but I need my coffee:)

snow Im working on a poz chat site:)
« Last Edit: August 13, 2008, 11:42:12 AM by 100proofBrandy »
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #32 on: August 13, 2008, 09:29:10 PM »
Evening ladies,

Not much happening on here.  I wish those of you who check in once in awhile would check back in and let me know how you're doing!  Anyway.....

Tendai, I hate roaches also.  In one of my old apartments I used to get them all the time.  The exterminators would come and just do my apartment and I yelled at them every time about doing all the apartments.  Otherwise the roaches just move temporarily.  They didn't seem to understand that, or else just didn't want to do it.     I'm sorry about your brother.  I didn't know you had an HIV+ family member.  That must take a toll on you.

Brandy, good luck with the board meeting.  We have a CAB here, but the drive to Indianapolis where the meetings are held is too far for me without $$ upfront for expenses.

Nothing exciting happened to me today.  Well, maybe something did.  One of the older gentlemen at the place I volunteer at gave me a flower he picked somewhere outside.  Nothing romantic like or anything.  Just a nice gesture.  There are a couple of young guys there now, probably 18 or 19.  It's disturbing to me.  The question that runs through my mind is "where the hell are their parents?"  I mean, I don't know the circumstances, but like I said, they're awfully young.

Next week my grandkids start school.  My granddaughter's going to be in the 4th grade.  My grandson will start his 1st year of preschool.  I can't believe it.  Time flies now that I'm older.  When I was younger, time just seemed to drag by.  Anyway, I hope my grandson will be alright.  I'm sure he will.  Friday I'm going to have my granddaughter during the day.  I'm going to try to take her to a movie and a park, then hang out here.  I'm going to post a pic of my daughter w/ my granddaughter below.  And one of my grandson (by himself).  I hope you ladies have a great night.  Oh btw, the pic of my daughter w/ granddaughter is a few years old, since my daughter doesn't live here anymore.



[attachment deleted by admin]
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline newby05

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #33 on: August 13, 2008, 10:35:50 PM »
Hi, ladies! After reading your posts for days, I finally joined. How nice to chat about female issues. I contracted hiv in 2005. I read someone is having a colposcopy????? I had my 3rd on today. The first 2 were VERY painful, but the nurse gave me 2 motrin before mine today. What a difference it made. I hope you all have a pleasant night.
Denise

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #34 on: August 13, 2008, 11:09:01 PM »
Good evening ladies.

Newby-Welcome! I am the one have the colposcopy. YUCK! I hope I only have to have one! I was diagnosed in May of 2007.The ladies here are great!

Betty-That's cute about the flower... :) It always feels good to have someone do something nice for you. How fun for your grandson! His "academic career" is just beginning! Your granddaughter is starting 4th huh? That's a good year. I teach fifth so I have to say that is the BEST year...LOL... ;D I'm not at all biased! Yeah right!

Brandy-What is the board meeting for?

Tendai-Hello!  :)

Well I did not get the piercing today. I chickened out but I am going to do it. My friend won't let me back out...LOL! I am probably going to go on Monday...I am such a wimp...I know I'll do it because I really want to.

Nothing else is going on. Sorry I don't have much to report. I am sure in a few weeks I will have some more exciting stories to tell since I will have a new batch of kids. My principal said that as of last week we are looking at 37 students in each class...YIKES! I hope some of them don't show up. I had 32 last year....

Have a good night everyone!

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #35 on: August 13, 2008, 11:23:24 PM »
good evening ladies
well the board meeting was good I did suggest that we set up an orientation for new clients kind of a hiv 101 crash course somewhere that those new to this disease can get questions answered. meet others that are going through the same thing, so they wont feel so alone. they can find out about the services the hospital has. learn what CD4 vl and % are. the board was actually really happy about the idea. I found out there is a women's support group but its been put on hold for lack of attendance. anyhow I have to be up early in the morning for work so I'll say good night
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #36 on: August 14, 2008, 03:13:43 AM »
Hi Ladies,

Welcome, Zanele, & Newby!

Tendai its great to hear from you. whenever I dont for a few days I worry a bit (or more than a bit).

I hope your brother gets better, praying for him. Is he on HAART? what about antibiotics for pneumonia? I used to take them for more than 8 months when my CDs were low to prevent it. Has he in fact seen a doctor at all? 

I saw on CNN last night that the opposition-almighty leader talks were suspended, yet again. I can't imagine what its like to negotiate with someone like that, it must take nerves of steal, and to think that a little pill or 2 could probably solve a lot of the problems. Who knows what someone like that is thinking, maybe that he is a god and will never die.

Snow, it pains and angers me to read about the total scumbag you were with. I dont know what to tell you about your dad, but I think you can talk to your dad, not just about HIV but about all the other stuff, I dont know how much of the abuse you have kept secret.

Viv, I had my nose pierced back in the late 80's, using a gun. It hurt, but not howling kind of hurt, more like a numb, punch in the face hurt. But not a professional punch in the face... it wasnt too bad. The piercing itself is too quiock to feel anything but you would have maybe pain for a couple days but not the kind you can't continue living normally. Wouldnt the school give you trouble over piercing? I do like it but mine is clogged up and I havent been able to reopen it.

Brandy,I wish my hospital had stuff like that. It would also save time for doctors on explaining too basic things, But sometimes I think they dont want us to know too much so that we dont bother them, and they dont want us to unite so that we wouldnt make any claims, for instance for more comfortable hours or a place to sit that wouldnt put us on display.

Betty, kudos for the non-smoking! every day is pure gain. Do you not get to talk to the people there? it must be sad, would make me think a lot. are they actually sleeping there, or coming off the street to eat?

Netta glad you enjoying life, if drained, hope its nothing.

Wendy I missed about the flirt and can't find it, guess its in the old thread. But glad you feel better and can concentrate on the important stuff  ;)

About me, just work, plumbing problems, appointments, we really want to move but prices are sky high in rent and avaialbility's awfully low. there was a place that looked good but its 10 km away from work cycling, that 20 return... I do know people who make such trips but with winter in the waiting I dont know so we let it go, its also far from the train station so uncomfortable for flying etc.
Im not thinking about the wedding cos there's a work trip in less than a month I am nervous about.
I really have to get on with it, but now staying in to wait for a guy to change the locks, and though I could techincally work, any ol' excuse will do.

I have read something that moved me deeply, it's called "Beyond Rape" and its a series of articles that was published in a cleveland newpaper by one of their writers, who was raped in the 80's. it makes for some sombre but cathartic reading, I think. It certainly put me in a perceptive mood.
http://www.cleveland.com/beyondrape/

Just sharin'...

Hugs to you all, and wondering about Queen & Cristy its been ages since they checked in? Hope all's OK, or better than.






"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #37 on: August 14, 2008, 05:20:10 AM »
Good morning ladies

Denise - welcome to the forum..
Betty - isnt it great that u can enjoy your grandkids in spite of this disease? We actually have our own little family epidemic when it comes to HIV it seems, nothing we actually sit down and talk about though..
Drag  - my brother isnt on HAART. He's going to get meds for the pneumonia when he sees the doctor, i hope they work. i think the cold weather we have isnt helping. His CD4 was 225 or something.  I'm asking myself "when will it be my turn to get sick like that?"  I hear u about the accommodation business.  i really want to leave where i am but its cheap compared to the prices other people are charging. Thanks for the link to that story, honestly rapists should get imprisoned for life. I guess she was lucky she didnt get infected with some disease or get killed.

Braved it at the bank, stood in the queue for an hour.  at least thats done and over with.  For now.  This country just isnt working..

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #38 on: August 14, 2008, 05:57:35 AM »
Hi Tendai,

I keep my fingers crossed for your brother. As far as I know, it's only HAART which makes this difference between HIV & AIDS. I mean, when you ask when will you get sick. We can never know for sure but we can control it best by getting on HAART before its too late. That defintion changes from person to person but 200 CD4s is generally considered the red line. I am sure Im not saying anything new to you here. I dont know how accessible the drugs are to you. It seems the whole country isnt talking about the epidemic. But I remember you once mentioned that you can get on meds although you cant do a VL test. Im really hoping that hasnt changed along with other things that arent functioning in Zim. Im hoping too that you arent waiting to see if you get sick to find out if its time for meds. i know in the heirarchy of things there there're probabaly so many things to take care of in daily survivial and helping family that the last thing to think about is the possibility of getting sick and preventing that, but you should be your own priority.

Im just hoping so much something will come out of these talks.

About those articles, its a bit more complex than that. Yeah I also think rapists should be locked up indefinatly, but I also think we need to look at society to see what makes it so violent and specifically in that regard. Once thing that comes out of the story is that the rapist was almost predestined to rape. I think rape is the disease of the whole society. People want the victims to shut up and disappear to b/c they dont want to think about it. Kind of like HIV. I guess.

its a bit depressing but the articles didnt depress me, quite the opposite they talk about what happens when you let something bad take hold of your life by completely avoiding it and how by confronting it you can finally let it go. ironically only facing your own life can release you. Im not one for wallowing in the past esp when we have so much on our plates just with the future, but I think each and every one of us carries such a painful closes box.

anyway I havent finished thinking about the whole thing.

(((Tendai)))
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #39 on: August 14, 2008, 07:46:04 AM »
morning ladies, how u all doin?

Tendai- thanks, well it looks i didn't get the job...they'd said if they haven't responded by noon it then means the post has been filled. its already noon here so i guess...believe something will come up one of these days. i just wish i could be sooner! so ur brother is also +ve? that must be hectic. wel, ma boyfy is too(u shud hear how i got to know bout his status, I'm sure it does not happen everyday!) and have recently discovered his brother also is, now thats hectic...he hasn't told the mom yet i wonder how the poor old woman is goin to take it!its just not fair!

Zanele- welcome beau, its great in here, hope u'll have fun

Newby- welcome hey...

Betty- those are cute pics,

Snow- hope u feeling a little better hey...

Netta- have fun wit ur grandkids, i wish i had one...wel i understand my granny(dad's side) is alive but i don't know her. its such a shame...

Viv- u managed to get thru piercing?

Drag- how r u?wedding preps?

Brandy- u doin sop well. like the initiatives, keep up the spirit

we;ll chec in later, gotta go for ma driving lesson

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #40 on: August 14, 2008, 08:10:25 AM »
Mahalia, sorry about the job. I hope a new and better one comes along. job hunting sucks. Im dreading the moment I have to start again since my contract's temp.

Good luck with the driving. It must be hectic over there.
Im not prepping anything, my BF took care of all that. I just nag him now and again.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #41 on: August 14, 2008, 09:03:01 AM »
thanks Drag, mmm, thats really nice that ur Bf is taking care of everything, u got all the time to do them facials, nails and all, lol. Thats reali nice, u wont be a stressed bride...

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #42 on: August 14, 2008, 11:21:47 AM »
Just checking in to say hi and that I am ok.

Welcome to the ladies area of AIDS meds Denise.  ;D

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #43 on: August 14, 2008, 02:48:04 PM »
Hello My Ladies----

It has been a long time since you all have heard from me, I know. I have finally moved into my new place and me and the kitties just love it. I love living alone again. My section 8 has kicked in and I am not paying any rent for the moment but that will change come September. Me and my oldest sister has been getting along great, imagine that. I knew if you would've asked me about living downstairs from her awhile back, I would've said there is no way in hell but funny how things change. We are planning on going to Georgia next month to visit my uncle for a few days. Any ladies down in Ga?

Finally, I have gotten the car fixed and it is now legal, it passed inspection today. I just love how things are finally coming together for me. You all know the hell I have been going through for the past few months. My cd4 has gotten better too, I am now at 805 and my viral load is still undetectable.

At the moment, I am using my friend's latop. My internet should be back up and running in about a week or so. I have really missed you all but had really been busy with things. So look for me in about a week or so. Much love to you all and hello to all the new faces I have seen on here...... :-* :-*

Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #44 on: August 14, 2008, 11:15:05 PM »
Evening ladies,

Hey Queen!  Good to hear from you.  I know moving is a busy time.  I'll look for more from you in about a week.  BTW, I'm glad things are finally looking up.

Denise, welcome to our forum family.  We talk about all kinds of things here, so feel free to share whatever you want, ask questions, whatever.  I was diagnosed in February of 1989.  And I'm still here.  You'll be around for a long time.

Andrea, you chickened out?!  I promise, it really doesn't hurt.  I'm not sure why Drag's even hurt the next day.  That's very unusual.  It's just a pinch for a quick second.  Are you sure the school won't mind?

Brandy, I'm glad you're sharing with other people and trying to help others.

Drag, I do talk to some of the residents where I volunteer.  The place is a facility that houses men.  They also have another facility for women, single moms and their children, and families.  So, the beds are on a first-come, first-serve basis.  And they have daily programs for the residents.  Like some have addictions programs etc.  And they open the doors to feed whoever needs it 3 meals a day, 365 days a year. 

Tendai, I wish your family would talk about the HIV.  It helps to have family support.  I'm always amazed that you survive as well as you do, truly.

Mahalia, your boyfriend and his brother are HIV+ also?  How are they doing?

Wendy, I'm glad you're doing alright.  I've been wondering about ya.

Today was pretty busy.  I exercised, ate breakfast, cleaned the whole apartment (even a little extra cleaning), took a shower, did some shopping, came home and ate, did my nails (yes, I do my own nails), and went to the HIV support group.  At the support group, we all went to a "town hall" meeting at this church in the ghetto part of my town where they were talking about HIV/AIDS.  There were few people there, of course (denial runs high).  I knew the lady who was running it.  Some of the comments people made were so naive.  I just wanted to yell out "CONDOMS" a few times.  But, I refrained and acted like a lady.  Now, some other time, I might pull out my biker bitch personality and do it.  I think they were talking about having more of these meetings (hee). 

Then I talked to my best friend for like two hours.  Other than that, I'm going to bed in a few minutes.  I hope you ladies all have a good night.



I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #45 on: August 15, 2008, 08:22:47 AM »
Good afternoon ladies


Drag - thanks for the hug. i wont wait till i get sick to start meds. i pray that i wont need them for some time yet. im overdue for CD4 test, i'll do it as soon as i get my sh*t together and deal with more urgent things.  they still dont do the VL test.  they'll just wait till u're below 200 then recommend or prescribe HAART/ARVs.  Its the poverty thats killing people.  i really doubt if he would have gotten this sick if he had been able to eat well. He isnt working at the moment and where they stay with his wife things are really really bad. He's better off at home in the rurals/countryside, at least they can grow food and keep chickens etc.  Things are bad everywhere though.  Those idiots doing the talks really seem to forget that they have millions of people going thru hell right now becoz of their politics. How long do they want us to wait till they can reach a resolution? we really cant wait much longer its getting really close to breaking point. We can only hope coz the old turd really wants to maintain his death grip on the country.
i promise i'll do my best to look after myself, i will. Its just the situation here makes everything so difficult.

Queen - hie! great to see you again, im glad things are going so well for you now, with your sister, your car, your apartment, your fantastic numbers.. u're on a roll girl..next thing u'll be telling us u got a boyfriend!

Mahalia - yes it is hectic about my brother. i'm just glad its not too serious as we had feared coz my dad was like " save up money for the funeral girls, he doesnt have long to live"  WTF?  Now u got me curious about how u found out about your boyfy's status.  Come on girl spill it!  I hope their mother takes it well, it probably will break her heart, but women esecially mothers are strong resilient creatures.. Sorry about the job.  I agree with drag, you might get an even better one.  when one door is closed another is open

wendy - hey, glad u're doing fine.

i hate my freaking boss today.  tore my head off coz i was late to the office coz i went to the bank.  said i should only go to the bank on saturdays and not use his working hours to go banking. as if i would sit on my ass and wait for saturday while my brother needs the money for his treatment and transport and whatever. he must be out of his mind if he thinks i'll put his stupid job ahead of my brothers health. its not like it was even my fault, some idiot from the bank who had the keys didnt come to work on time and they only opened the damn doors at 9.00 after having us wait since 8am. had they opened in time i wouldve made it to work by 8.30.  dr evil can be such an ass i cant believe it.  we were having a bitching session with my co-workers, we all agreed how evil he can be.  and to think yesterday after work when he was dropping us off in town and i said i wanted to go to the ATM he actually took me there and dropped me close to my busstop rather than letting me wander around town by myself that late.  i mean that was so nice of him and all, then he wakes up today regretting it i think, so he had to show how mean he is. a**hole.

Apart from that, nothing's up this side.  I came into town with Maidman (remember the guy who referredt to his wife as his maid). We're just friends now and we were moaning together about the state of the country and he'll be busy making these lame jokes, he;s such an idiot. I like his company though.  Too bad he's broke now, used to drive around in a Lexus. he of all people should be very bitter about being reduced to a pedestrian with his cars gathering dust in his garage coz petrols so expensive.
Well thats it for me today.  Two more hours and its home time. Cant wait to go home to darkness. Thank God its Friday!

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #46 on: August 15, 2008, 08:39:37 AM »
Good morning wonderful women... u good?

Betty- ma boyfriend is not yet on treatment, i learned he was +ve this yr February and hasn't been monitoring his counts which is quite scary, i keep bugging him about. he's finally did them three weeks ago and is stil to collect them. I just think that he is scared bout goin to take them. It realli worries me that he is not monitoring how he is doin but everytime i bring up the topic he hits the roof and says he does not need reminders coz he knows he should do it so... m just here hoping that he will go take them sooner than later...
i understand the brother is on treatment but is not adhering well to it... :(

Zanele- where in Africa are you from, I'm from Botswana?

M goin to be spend the nite at ma boyfriends, i think i'll also do it 2mrw. he is out of town so he had left his younger sister and nephew to house sit for him, he checked on them this morning and told him someone tried to break in the house last nite...so will be accompanying them. its reali worrying because he has house has been broken into 3times this year and this in two different locations in town! i just think its someone who knows him , coz they have even broken into his ex-office place. hope we wont fight about my not spending the weekend at home with ma mom!!!

Enjoy ur weekend ladies :-*

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #47 on: August 15, 2008, 08:55:36 AM »
hey Tendai- if you think ur boss is an a**hole you should see mine! he is also Zim...i just him. You ma colleague who passed away with his wife? he is also Zim...well ma sick boss is not goin to push that they pay the group life assurance cover all employees are supposed to have because he was due to resign just the day after he passed on. if he was human enough he would just put the poor man on the payment schedule and have the insurer pay coz it was he stilll had a day to go you know, the insurer would pay as long as his premium was paid for! so rite now he is giving all sort of excuses and reasons why the cannot process it!the f****!i mean they are leaving behind 3kids!

pm me bout boyfy story!ibut u know sometimes i just wonder how hard its goin to be for their mom if we do get married wit ma man, 3pple in one family,thats just so cruel u know!


Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #48 on: August 15, 2008, 09:18:25 AM »
oh Brandy i just read in other thread what a wonderful man u have, thats so great!feels good to be loved so...hey!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #49 on: August 15, 2008, 12:08:51 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Tendai, I'm so sorry about your brother and his living situation.  I wish there was some immediate thing that could be done for all you guys over there.  That's just so sad, every time I read something from you, I wish I was there to give you a hug and a shoulder.  I think of you often.

Mahalia, I hope your boyfriend gets his counts pretty soon.  I know a couple people who don't monitor their blood counts regularly, mostly because they're scared.  Hopefully your boyfriend (and the people I know) will get over their fears and start taking charge of their health.  I'm sure it's hard on the mother, but mothers are extremely strong people (believe me, I know).  I'm sure your bf's mother would love you just the same.

In a couple of hours my granddaughter will be here and we'll be heading off to a movie.  My friends Alex and Joe stopped by (you all remember Alex was the guy staying with me and Joe was one of my other Native American friends).  Alex had a few things left here that he wanted to pick up.  We all had a good visit.  I really wasn't expecting them, but it was nice to see them just the same.  I really need to keep in touch with people better.  Sometimes I feel really out of touch.  Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good afternoon.  I'll probably be back later; depends on how long my granddaughter is here. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #50 on: August 15, 2008, 01:01:33 PM »
Hello ladies. Today we have rain here. Its supposed to rain off and on all weekend.
Its a real treat from the heat. I got home from work this morning and Billy rushes me out to the back yard. Saying "you've got to see this."

Some of you may remember we have a turtle in our back yard that my son brought home from a road trip to Missouri. We don't have turtles like this that live in our area. The only ones I've ever seen are snapping turtles and they look totally different.

Anyway. There was this tiny little turtle on the patio.



This is the one we have had in the back yard. I guess its a she turtle??????



I wonder if there are more of those little buggers out there. Gosh I hope the lawn mower hasn't claimed any of them.
So aside from the excitement of finding we have another turtle and we have rain thats about it. I'm feeling ok I'm just tired most of the time.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #51 on: August 15, 2008, 03:38:29 PM »
Wendy, that''s really cute.

Queen, v. glad things are working out so well for you!

Tendai, I know you arent reading in the weekend. Just hope things have worked out with your bro seeing a doctor. as for dr Evil, I guess hes under an enormous amount of stress like everyone over there, not that it means he can go off like that.

Betty, hope you enjoy the grandkids. Nice about J&A.

Mahalia, its so sad & upsetting about your boss being such a mean bastard.

Hope all you ladies have a great weekend, wherever you are.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #52 on: August 15, 2008, 09:16:57 PM »
Wendy, that is so cute! You probably have a whole family out there..LOL!

Betty, I hope you had a good time with your grandchildren. I wondered the same thing about the piercing but I know there are teachers who have tattoos on their ankles, feet, lower backs, etc. There was a girl who had her nosed pierced at the training I was at and I asked her about it. She said she doesn't wear it at work but she had a pretty good size tattoo on the inside of her wrist. There is no rule against it and I only plan on wearing a very small stud. I guess I will wait and see if anything happens. It is easier to ask for forgiveness...

Mah, That sucks when you work for someone who isn't very nice. Is it bad enough to look for another job?

Tend, sounds like you have a similar thing going on...

Well I had my dr appointment and I will find out the results in a couple of weeks when I go back in. I hate waiting. That's all here.

Oh...have any of you been watching the Olympics? I record them on my DVR and then I can fast forward through the boring stuff.. :)

Have a good night!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #53 on: August 15, 2008, 09:30:17 PM »
Evening ladies,

Wendy, that turtle is really cute.  Reminds me of the little ones I used to get at the pet store when I was a kid.

Drag, I hope you have a good weekend as well. 

Andrea, I started to watch part of the opening ceremonies for the olypmics; but, my mind was in conflict.  I detest China for their human rights violations (Tibet, Tenneman (SP) Square, when the students got mowed down by the army).  I decided I wasn't going to watch it for that reason; it probably sounds close-minded, but that's how I feel.  I don't think negatively of anyone who watches them though.   And yeah, I've seen those really tiny studs people are wearing now in their noses.  I have a good friend who's a home health aide who has one. 

The day with my granddaughter was excellent.  I took her to see "Wall-E."  It was such a good movie.  The critics are calling it one of the best of the summer-and it's a kid's movie.  But it was great.  Then we came back to my apartment, and on cable's ondemand movies, "Matilda" was on, so we watched that.  I made my granddaughter something to eat, she played on the computer for a few minutes, then her "mom" and brother came to pick her up around 8:15.  The school my grandchildren attend had an open house for kids entering preschool for the first time that my grandson and his "mom" went to.  She ("mom") said my grandson was extremely shy when they first got there.  But, there's a guinea pig in the classroom that fascinated him.  And I remember when I was little, going to a church school, they had a couple guinea pigs there also.  Anyway, it was a good day.  Now I'm broke for the rest of the month (I hate living on disability), but I'm content.  So, I hope you ladies all have a good night.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #54 on: August 16, 2008, 04:14:08 AM »
Hiya
just joining the thread as suggested by ann and betty (thanks girls)

Ok bit of background so you know who I am.

Angel - girlie 32 from UK
Steve - male 49 from UK also hee hee
Both found out we were pos about 3 weeks ago.
Steve infected about 18 months ago and me sometime within the last 9 months.

Doing ok ish first tests look good, so lets see eh.

Steve is coping much better than me, I end up in tears every other day but I am a cryer, can cry at the slightest thing event adverts on TV lol.

I do have so many questions but i am trying to find the strength to ask them, its like the support group phone number I cant even ring it yet, its so crazy but my confidence has taken such a dive in certain things, which would shock you considering my job choice before the infection lol.

anyway just wanted to say hi and bear with me as a question may pop out of me at some point.

angel
xx

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #55 on: August 16, 2008, 09:08:45 AM »
Hi GFs~

I have missed all of you!  I am still bogged down with allergies even though I am taking a Claritin each day now (have been since March).  Work was a real bitch this week, I took on too much cause the troublemaker was out on vacation.  Next thing I know, my boss calls me into her office bec someone told her I was complaining.  I told her what I needed from HER as a boss is someone who delegates and divides work up fairly when someone is on vacation.  She looked at me and said I "seemed to be rolling along...."  That doesn't mean I was enjoying it!  She's concerned that I won't be able to handle the changes coming our way.  I'm not the problem, I have a brain and I'm a hard worker, lol.

Anyway, Iceman is great, he told me last night that I will be meeting the kids next month, before the divorce is final.  That surprised me but made me feel good.  He basically told them I was coming over to watch football and they were fine with it.  He is just trying to ease me into their world.  I am nervous and want to make a big production out of it, but the oldest will prob be in the basement on the computer and the little one will prob be crawling all over us so we can't watch the game, lol.  We'll see how it goes.

I have been very tired lately, but what else is new?  Its tough to drive down to work (an hour each way), bust my ass and then get home, being too tired to get groceries.  Gas prices have gone down about 50cents here, so I have a little cushion and can actually buy food and things.  I just don't go anywhere or buy anything cause usually I can't.  I bought a $2 bath towel at Walmart yesterday and was SO excited, lol.  It doesn't take much to please ME, hee hee! Its been very tough, but I saved to go get my hair trimmed today.  Wait until my hairdresser sees where I cut the brush out of my hair in July, thanks to my niece, lol.  Its hidden, but much thinner on that side.

Drag~  So excited to hear about the wedding plans!  Gibraltar and then some!  Wow!   :-*
Betty~  How are you doing on the Chantix with the depression issues?  God Bless your Mom, it seems like yesterday it was August 10th 2007.  Hang in there.   :-*
Queen~ Congrats on having your own place.  You must be able to breathe easy, nothing like privacy!  How's the love life, any bites?   ;D
Win~  My goodness, GF, you have been through SO much and I am so sorry to read of all of the troubles you've been having.  I am sending good vibes your way!   ;D
Snow~  I agree with Betty, I would tell your Dad about your status.  No sense carrying that weight on your shoulders anymore if its getting to be too much to bear.   :-*
Mum and Mini~  Hope you are having fun travels!   :D

To all of my GFs and to the new ones, too, I am going to try to get back into this thread this weekend and keep up!  Finished reading "Duma Key" (copyright 2008 for Win) by Stephen King, and have started "Lisey's Story" about a widow, I love King's work.

More later, need to eat a little.

Love and Kisses,

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: August 17, 2008, 09:23:33 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline sunseeker

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #56 on: August 16, 2008, 11:42:00 AM »
Hi Ladies

Welcome to the new members.  Nothing new this week but just busy.  I worked 5 days last week and am now back and working two more.  Such is life.  Looking forward to having three days off.  Taking my nephew to a baseball game on Sunday with Whitey and his son then taking my nephew home on Monday.  Coming home on Tuesday after I take him to his first day of school.  He is so excited.

I started this new diet called diet for idiots and you do it for 11 days and then take a break for 3 days then start it again until you reach your goal weight.  So far so good.  Yesterday was my 11 day and have lost 5 pounds.  So now the key will be not to eat a ton of bad food while I am on my 3 day break.

Stevenangel-Welcome and just know that things will get better in time as you learn more about HIV you will learn that it is not a death sentence and its manageable as long as you take care of your self.  I remember when I found out it was the the first time in my life that I though how am I going to live like this.  Now coming up on three years I rarely thing about it.  Where before I thought about it every second of the day.  Keep your chin up and we are here for you.

Moon-Well sounds like things are moving right into place with Iceman and his kids.  Keep us posted.  I remember when I met Whitey's son for the first time. It was great but I was nervous to meet a 6 year old.  But things are good and now he is starting to give me hugs good by.  I would not worry to much about the oldest child wanting to be on the computer.  Most teens or preteens do not want to hang out with their parents let alone with their dad's girlfriend.  It will take time for them to get to know you.  Just remember be yourself and have fun.

Betty- Glad to see you had a good time seeing Wall-E.  I hear it was pretty good.  I took my nephew to see Journey To The Center Of The Earth.  That was pretty good.  I also saw Batman and that was good, but not a kid movie. 

Viv- Sound like you and I are on the same track with the Olympics.  I have been DVR'ing them as well.  I like Gymnastics and Volleyball. 

Drag- Hi Drag hope you are doing well. 

Winn- I love the picture of the frog and the soccer ball that is great.

Mahalia- Hi Mahalia, I am looking forward to getting to know you better.

Tendai- Your boss sounds like a jerk.  See I am lucky mine are so easy going and that sure makes life easier with all of the other drama that I have to deal with.  Most of the drama is not with me but my friends and its getting old.  I do not mean to sound mean but some of them don't get a clue when it comes to relationships etc. 

Well, back to work I go.  Hope everyone is doing well and sorry if I missed anyone.

Love Ya Sunseeker


Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #57 on: August 16, 2008, 01:08:09 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Angel, I'm so glad you've joined us!  You're newly diagnosed, so all the crying and worrying etc. is very, very normal.  It will get better, I promise.  I think I might have told you (not sure); I've been diagnosed since 1989.  It is possible to live a long life with HIV.  And if you have any questions, feel free to ask us.  We're here to support each other. 

Cin, I'm still on the Chantix.  The depression was because of it being the anniversary date of my mum's death.  And wow.  I'm so glad you're going to meet Iceman's kids.  Don't be too nervous.  Things will be alright.  My granddaughter always gets on my computer when she's over.  I think that's just normal.  Enjoy meeting them.  I hope we hear more from you, like on a regular basis. ;)

Sun, that diet you're on sounds impressive.  I try to stay on a healthy eating schedule during the week and eat "regular" on the weekends.  I usually blow it, though, and eat a lot of sweets.   I saw "The Dark Knight" also.  No, it's not a kid's movie.  It sure was good though.  Heath Ledger did such an awesome job in that movie.  It sounds like your nephew's in your life quite a bit; that's really awesome.  Continued good luck with Whitey.

Well, today marks one month without a cigarette.  I can't believe it.  I don't crave them anymore really.  I have a bottle and 1/2 of Chantix left and I'm thinking about stopping that once the other bottle is gone.  I'm still exercising every morning (except Sunday) which helps a lot.  I can't do any aerobics because of my knees, so I'm trying to do resistance exercises.  I wish I had a memebership to the Y, then I'd go swimming.  That's what my ortho recommended.  I might call them next month or whenever I get money from my school (I think November) and see about getting a membership.  Someone told me the Y bases how much one pays on how much one makes.  So, I'll see.

I have nothing planned today except going to get some milk later.  I might watch one of my movies tonight (probably "Traffic").   I hope you ladies all have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #58 on: August 16, 2008, 03:46:26 PM »
 ??? good after ladies hope every is well
Ive been dealing with a Hugh amount of weight gain this last year 60 pounds my doctor thinks it is my thyroid still waiting for the test to come in!! but Ive become depressed about it I HATE the way I look and I seem to be projecting my bad self image on to my boyfriend. we had a Hugh fight and he kept asking me what was really wrong I couldn't answer then I started crying about how my clothes don't fit and how he doesn't look at me like he used to. he said that he thinks I'm beautiful. I cried no I'm not I'm fat it was then he said baby your unhappy with the way you look not me you seem to think that if you don't like the way you then how could I but your wrong so you put on some weight that doesn't change who you are. later I started thinking maybe he is right. I have never really been small per say but Ive been an 11 must of my life with my height 5'5 and bone structure that size is good any smaller and I look unhealthy. now I'm a 16/18 which is what my top size has always been I'm big chested now its a size 20/22 I have done everything to lose weight and nothing is working. I know being a psychology major that being happy with who you are is very important. and impacts a Hugh range of your daily life, that said I can't seem to be happy with my body. so I am at a complete lose at how to get through this ???
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #59 on: August 16, 2008, 04:13:19 PM »
Boy talk about perspective... I'm 5'9 and 155 lbs size 10 to 12 depends on who makes it. I am about 20 pounds over my normal weight. The highest I've been was 180. I packed on the pounds around the time my late husband stopped having sex with me. I guess I substituted the lovin for food.
Taking the weight back off was easy at first as soon as I started eating normal portions. I took off the first 20 pounds with pretty much no trouble at all. I plateaued at 160 and haven't managed to get too far from that weight since.
Most people say I look great the size I am but I know what my norm used to be and want to be that slim again. Its not a big deal but reading other women talk about their weight and their struggles gives me perspective enough to know it isn't so bad being 155 pounds.  ;)
I know you didn't intend on making me feel ok about myself but you did so thank you Brandy.
It sounds like you have a nice guy.

Betty if you lived closer I'd let you use my pool for free. LOL

Sun - I just cant do diets. I will loose the weight but as soon as the diet is over I pack it back on and sometimes even more than I lost initially. I have to change my eating forever not just for a while.
I think right now the only way I will lose anymore is if I get off my butt and get some real aerobic exercise. Which isn't likely to happen.  ;D

Cindy its good to see you typing at us. Good luck with meeting the kiddos. I enjoyed Liseys story. I need to go to the half price book store and turn in a box of books I have for credit and get me some new books to read. I am currently reading The Unquiet by John Connolly. Its ok, he's no Stephen King or Dean Koontz but its readable.

Angel - Welcome to the ladies area of AIDSmeds. We look forward to getting to know you. Ask as many questions as you'd like. Someone is bound to answer LOL  ;D

Andrea - Those turtles are there one minute and gone the next I have no clue where they go or how they are gone so fast. Maybe magic?  LOL
I do wonder how many of them are out there. I don't think turtles just have one baby at a time.

I think I have gotten used to this new medication the only problems I have had are diarrhea and being tired and those two things are no big deal. I don't have any kids to take care of unless the grand baby is dropped off for an hour or two and I don't have a demanding job that takes alot of my time and diarrhea can be fixed with pills. So I am doing good.

Hope you ladies are having a glorious day! 

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #60 on: August 16, 2008, 05:42:43 PM »
Hey ladies! Just a quick stop in to say Hi! I am not even going to comment on weight...If I pretend it's not there then it isn't? Right? LOL! I don't want to give up the things I like to eat so I am just increasing my activity. When I don't take the dog to daycare I am trying to walk her twice a day. When she is at school I am going to the gym. I just hope when school starts I can keep it up. Enough about that... :)

It's nice to hear from everyone! I did my laundry and that's it. Oh, I finally bought the Tori Spelling book. I grew up with 90210 so I am kind of fan. It's pretty good so far. She is kind of opening up about her life. It's not what I like to call a "fluff" book. You know the ones that don't require too much brain power, but entertaining.

Hope you all have a good weekend!

Andrea

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #61 on: August 16, 2008, 07:12:46 PM »
Evening ladies,

Weight, meh.  I"m 5'9" and I weight 162.  I'm in a size 16 pants.  I like to be in a size 10 or 12.  If I can lose 20 lbs I'd be happy. Of course if I could really lose 30 lbs I'd be happy.  My weakness is when I diet for a few days, I really, really crave something sweet.  Then I overdo it.  I don't quite know how to change that, or even if I should.  I remember when I was diagnosed, this nurse told me not to worry if I gained weight, because I would eventually lose it.  She was right at the time (remember, this was '89).  In 1994 I lost a lot and weighed 80 lbs.  And at the time I was 5'10". (Yes I've lost an inch in height).  It took a loooooong time to put weight back on.  I don't want to weigh 80 lbs again, but I certainly would like to get thinner. If I could follow the Southbeach diet I'd probably do alright.

One of the dilemmas I've had lately is whenever I eat fresh veggies or anything with fiber, my stomach pooches out.  Then I can't shit for like 4 or 5 days.  There's other trouble too, similar to what I just described.  My doctor thinks I may have diabetic gastroporesis.  I had to google it; I couldn't find it on wikipedia. All that being said.....

Brandy, are you finished in school?  I'm a psych major also.  Why should we always feel alright, just because we're psych majors?  I know quite a few therapists who are my friends, and they go through their down times.  Yeah, I think it's important we like ourselves as we are, but that doesn't mean we're all angels walkin' around singin' a tune all the time.

Wendy, I'm glad you're able to rest.  You need to with everything you've been through.

Andrea, sometimes it's good to read books that don't require thinking.  I hope you have a nice weekend.

OK, I've said my piece.  You ladies have a great evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline zanele38

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #62 on: August 16, 2008, 07:57:31 PM »
Hi all ladies ...Thank you for ur welcome im feeling better to knowing that i can talk to u abt anything ..I been busy hnt been intouch for some days...Im originally from zimbabwe residing in uk..Thank once again ladies ..All my love..Zanele

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #63 on: August 16, 2008, 09:52:54 PM »
Hi GFs~

Figured I'd chime in on the weight issue.  I am 5'5-1/2" tall and the absolute lowest I dropped was 146 in 1996 after my husband died.  I also dropped to 146 in January 2007 after Doofus dumped me after 2-1/2 years.  He was the one I was building a house with and then he said he couldn't go through life practicing safe sex with me (I am counting on karma to give him his dose someday....BITE! lol)  Anyway, I was working and on my feet a TON and suffering the break-up in Jan 2007 so my weight dropped.

When I met Iceman last fall I weighed 155 and looked pretty good.  Lipo gave me nice legs and slender arms, but no ass and a belly to beat the band.  That damn belly!  UGH!  I have since gained and am at 175.  This is awful, because all of the weight is in my gut. 

In the past, when I finally could get my ass in gear and have a bit of willpower, I would do aerobics 2x a week and see great changes.  I could still eat what I wanted and got by.  Its tough with the diabetes, but right now I have NO time in the evening cause my commute exhausts me.  Also, I am really scared to work out.  With all of the balance problems I had last spring and am still dealing with, I feel like I would just tip over.  I walked Cheech on a hiking trail a lot last spring when I was unemployed, but they are tearing up the park and putting in a storm water mgmt system. 

I dunno, I have found a wonderful man and want to be his star hottie and feel better about myself.  I still look good, but I'm just a big girl, I am wearing a tight size 12 and loose size 14 in my jeans.  I need to do something, cause at 38, my metabolism isn't gonna jump-start itself. 

Maybe I'll try to workout tomorrow and see how I do with the balance thing.  All we can do is try, right?  I just know I have to get that mojo going, that itsy bitsy bit of willpower and then I'll tie up my sneakers and put my hair up and TRY.

Wish me luck, as I do to all of you.  :)  Also, drink 4 32oz glasses of water, 1 before each meal and another through the day until you have to pee like crazy.  It'll flush a good 5 pounds off in a matter of days!  ;)  Maybe I could just do that and skip the aerobics?   :P

~  Cindy (who hates to workout and loves to eat)
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #64 on: August 16, 2008, 10:15:00 PM »
Geez Betty 80 lbs ?  I thought I was bad LOL Around 1994 I can really remember I was 113 lbs.
You get the whispers behind your back. People making comments about how thin you are. My aunt even asked my mom if I was anorexic. LOL

 Yeah, I don't want to be that thin again. I carry all my weight in my butt and gut a little bit of it is everywhere else but most of it is the big ole poochy belly. Some of you have seen it. LOL I cant believe I posted that picture of my belly. I do like having a voluptuous booty. Its not wide but its poochy.
I have square boy hips. LOL

When I was 113 lbs I looked like a 12 year old boy.  :D

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #65 on: August 17, 2008, 04:53:16 AM »
hi ladies,

just checking in... been a great sat yesterday, one of those glorious automn days.

i just found out I missed a deadline for something I really wanted, by 2 days. aaahhhrrr

Betty, One Month yipeee!

Wendy, they lay eggs and maybe just one hatched? I guess an egg could easily go into a lawnmower though I doubt they'd lay it right on the lawn.
I dont know how long they'd keep the egg in their belly though.
These things can easily be discovered with techonology at my fingertips am just on the lazy side right now.

Cindy, great to have you back and Im sure you'll do wonderfully with the kids once given time to adjust. I hadnt realized ice wasnt yet legally divorced and him wanting you to meet them under these circumstances is a huge flashing sign saying "Im crazy about you and committed too!"  ;D

Zanale, Ive a brother in the UK. How long have you been there? Do you like it? I always hate when people ask me if I like the Netherlands, of course I like some things about it, and dislike others, simply b/c being a foreigner is difficult pretty much anywhere but in some places more. Not that I suffer from racism or anything like that but I am an outsider. But I ask anyway....

I haven't yet been in the position to officially & permanently immigrate to a place but it will probabaly happen when I move to Spain with my (future) husband. Im actually scared of it, they dont get half as much immigration as the UK in Spain or even here. Id like to move to London, but with a better weather, less stressful lifestyle and much less crime. I like that they speak English in England. Sounds obvious but becomes very important at some point. I do learn other languages when i have to but its nowhere near my English ability. Im just fed up of being in constant "translation mode". English isn't my first language but at least I can think in English and dont need to translate myself, even if it isnt always native-like level.

Brandy, I have a friend who is poz, and she gained an awful lot of weight esp in her breasts. When i first met her she was very round, a couple months later she got the insurance to pay for a breast reduction proving it was from lipo, and then she lost a lot of the weight, recently I saw her running around in a short dress, she's literally 1/2 what she was. That woman is poz for over a decade and on meds since they appeared.

She is of a similar ethniticity to you and I think lipo/meds just hit people differently when they have different backgrounds. Some people will become more round, other lose weight (I know lipo is more than that but just talking about general appearance). i think its hard sometimes to seperate lipo from weight gain which may or may not be execrburated by the drugs. For instance I met a guy with lipo in his face but he has managed to beat the belly by combining diet and excercise to the point that he had washboard abs. But he definately had lipo issues too. Or with my friend, after the breast reduction which really was to treat the lipo which made them size F or more, she lost a lot of the weight on her own.

Anyway, I know its impossible to fight lipo with conventional means like diet, but I think sometimes people can have lipo AND weight gain all at once. If I hadnt seen these two people I mentioned change profoundly I wouldnt have beleived it.

Me, I am not worried right now about gain, even though like every woman I know I always try to keep in check or lose a few pounds from my thighs and belly, but I'm awfully concerned about loss from my hands and esp my face. Im really obssessing about it sometimes.

Mind you, we live in a world where even gorgeous young beauty is just not perfect enough. Like in this girl's story:
 http://www.latimes.com/features/lifestyle/la-ig-notebook17-2008aug17,0,1986900.story

So to all the love yourself I would add, also remember, that the cold heartless propaganda industry out there constantly telling you you don't look right is saying that to make tons of money off of our insecurities!

PS Im going rollerblading and I havent done that in ages and the brake on my blade is gone, so wish me luck ladies! am nervous but am gonna do it.

Mucho hugs,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Lostgirl

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #66 on: August 17, 2008, 05:57:04 AM »
Hi everyone
This is the first time I have joined the Ladies Thread but have always enjoyed reading them.  You are a wonderful bunch!

I can't sleep (yet again!) and so, being early in the morning, I have time to really read them all!  I guess this one stuck with me because I have been having big (no pun intended) problems with my weight and just thought it was my age but realise now it is more likely the meds.  I used to be quite slim but this past year have put on a lot of weight in my tum (gone from a size 10 to a very tight 14) and breasts (from 34C to 38D) and no matter how well I ate or tried to exercise, just didn't make a difference.  Lately I noticed parts of my, traditionally, hefty Scottish legs were looking slimmer, as were my arms and my bum was spreading but flattening (what a wonderful image!).  My face has always been small so not a lot of change there.  Now, thanks to you ladies, I realise its more likely the meds.  Well I have spent a huge amount on exercise equipment ($4.99 on a skipping rope!) and after an exhausting and painful two skips discovered I really, really, really needed a sports bra!  Boy, was that painful!  Anyway, a little a day will build up to a reasonable exercise and skipping seems to work so many parts of the body.  It means I can do it indoors as it is too hot to walk/run outside here in Texas and I quite enjoy it!  I also got a Swiss ball - boy was that fun trying to keep myself on that - which is fun also.  Hated going to the gym but enjoy this.  Wonder how long I will be able to keep it going?  Watch this space.

At present have got my stepdaughter (20), my daughter (23) and her fiance all over here from Scotland for a vacation.  Have not seen my daughter since last July when I was home for her university graduation.  Miss her like crazy.  Would be enjoying it more but have a terrible head cold (yet another viral 'gift' from my husband!) and feel like I am balancing the Swiss ball filled with cement on my shoulders!  It will pass and I can begin to enjoy the girls company more. 

Well will go and see if I can get another hour's shut eye before they are all up and shouting for breakfast! 
Love and hugs to you all
Lorraine
Lostgirl

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #67 on: August 17, 2008, 09:14:41 AM »
When I met Iceman last fall I weighed 155 and looked pretty good.  Lipo gave me nice legs and slender arms, but no ass and a belly to beat the band.  That damn belly!  UGH!  I have since gained and am at 175.  This is awful, because all of the weight is in my gut. 

Cindy: This gain is a wonderful indicator of love, sedentary work and commute, and close your eyes, aging. (yep, I'm totally, intentionally ignoring the HIV part) The best aspect of the trio, of course, is love. You've relaxed, hurrah! Given your ongoing balance issues, would a rowing machine and/or stationary bike be good choices? I'm not an exercise physiologist, but it would seem you have fewer chances of falling with each (unlike the treadmill) AND, would these then be items your doc could prescribe? You've indicated being savvy with regard to taxes in the past---so, that might be the best alternative OR using that freebie list you've accessed or simply a good price through Craig's list or E-bay.

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #68 on: August 17, 2008, 09:43:59 AM »
Hi GFs~

To Brandy, you've got us all venting and talking about our weight, which I think is a healthy topic!  It really seems we are all struggling with the same issues!  I am sitting here in my aerobic stretch shorts which I haven't worn in about five years, and I am going to try some aerobics!  The shorts still fit cause the weight has moved from my ass to my gut, so either way you stretch them, there is still room!   ;D  But boy oh boy, these shorts don't lie, WHERE did that gut come from?  Ugh!

I walked Cheech for 25 minutes this morning.  We went to an open area and buzzed around and then I ended up walking him in huge circles on his extendable leash.  I didn't want to walk anymore, wanted to go back home, but I told myself 10 circles, so I did them.

Lostgirl, our body types seem to be very similar.  I am 38 (39 on 11/14), and my bra size has increased, I have more belly and more back fat.  I went from a 36B to a 38D.  Some parts of me look great, like the arms and legs and bust, but this middle makes me feel like a stuffed sausage, lol! 

Em, you bring up good points and I agree!  I tell people that Ice and I must be in love cause we've both gained a little weight.  I also really don't have much time when I get home to do anything in the evening, so I have been sedentary.  I get home around 7pm, make dinner and then need to digest for a little bit.  Pretty soon its 8pm and doing a workout right before bed is kinda scary being diabetic.  We are stopping our summer schedule at work in a few weeks, so I'll be leaving a half hour earlier.  Perhaps I can transition into a little something in the evenings.

Edited to add:  Yes, Em, its aging, too.  I am starting to look like my mother and my dear grandmother!  A beachball with sticks, we call it.  My mom and gma are only 5 feet tall, so at least I have the height to stretch me out some, lol!   ;)

I have a treadmill and a big exercise ball which is a lot of fun.  I have often wondered if my balance issues would actually improve if I did regular exercise.  I have these weird feelings even while I walk and drive.  Its a perception thing, almost like motion sickness, I am still trying to figure it all out.

OK, so I am going to go put one of my old tapes into my old VCR and see how far I get this morning.  My goal for now is to do aerobics 1x on the weekend and 1x M-F. 

I think its a good start.  Oh, and I have pushed the water a ton already this morning.  I'm no Torres on the women's swimming team, but at 41, she certainly was an inspiration!

OK, time to MOVE it, lol!  (Hell, I might only last 12 minutes before gasping for air, lol!)

 ;D  Cindy

12:00pm  OK, I made it through 30 minutes of my aerobics tape from The Firm series this morning.  I have strength, but I am as stiff as a board with not much elasticity as I used to have.  I also need help with the cardio.  I started getting light-headed when I got really hot, but that has always been the norm for me.  I have been checking my blood sugar levels every half hour and my muscles ache in a good way.  I kicked ass on the push-ups, too!  ;)

I DID IT.    ;D
« Last Edit: August 17, 2008, 12:03:12 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #69 on: August 17, 2008, 12:35:17 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Zanele, how long have you been in England?

Cin, all my weight is in my gut also.  With me, it's a combo of lipo/bad eating habits.  My doctor also said I might have diabetic gastroporesis.  Have you ever heard of this?  I had to google it, wikipedia didn't have it.  Anyway, congrats on doing those 30 minutes of exercise!  That's really great.  I try to exercise in the morning, before I eat breakfast.  I'm aging also (I'll be 43 on 9/2).  But, I don't attribute all the weight gain to age.  There's more to it than that, with me at least.  I bet Cheech really loved his walk this morning.  I hope you can continue your exercise routine.  Good luck!

Yes Wendy, 80 lbs.  My mum took me to a store one time so I could get some new clothes (I was in a wheelchair and my doctor threatened me that if I continued to drive, he'd pull my license) and people couldn't quit staring.  I'm sure they thought I was anorexic.  I actually fit into a size 1 in jeans and had to look in the jr.'s for shirts and p.j.'s.  I would never want to be that thin again.  Thank heavens for newer meds.

Drag, if English isn't your primary language, what is?  That has me curious. You speak English very well.

Lorraine, how long have you been in the States?  I'm just curious, what prompted you to move here (U.S.)?  Do you like it?   I know the situation with your husband has got to be hard.  I wish you all the luck in the world.  Please continue to chat with us.

I try to drink a lot of water every day.  The problem I have with that is during the day, my gut gets pushed out when I drink a lot of water.  I get rid of it by getting up and going pee about 5-6 times during the night.  I put a slice of lemon in my water; I like it that way.  The only day I haven't been exercising on is Sunday.  I've basically been doing resistance exercises.  In November, I'm going to call the Y and see how much a membership is.  You know, while I'm typing this, I'm thinking I probably already told you all these things.  Sorry for repeating myself.

I have a quetsion:  WHERE THE HELL HAS CRISTY BEEN?  Please dear, if you read this, let us know how you're doing.  I probably should call her and I will a little later today.

I have nothing planned today.  My brother is coming over tonight with more of "The Wire."  He rents the DVD's from one of the local video stores.  He usually brings some kind of treat over also.  Nothing other than that.  I hope you ladies have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline 100proofBrandy

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #70 on: August 17, 2008, 12:37:59 PM »
good afternoon ladies
thanks for all the input Ive always been big up top 32 D now I'm like a 42DD yicks and at one time in the late 90s I weighted 98 pounds geeeez I sure don't want to do that again yuck and Ive been on meds for 9 years but this last year I just started putting on the weight but I did lose 6 pounds this week not really sure how I gave up trying I was working out every day 45 minutes at a time and lost nothing!! so I stopped I hit 215 and never got any bigger I weigh myself all the darn time and I ve been losing about a pound a day this week I'm down to 209. I'm not really trying either I cant do the straight fruits and veggie either I have issues already with not being able to go poo :(

thanks for letting me vent your guys stories are all so like mine I don't feel so alone :)

now on to brighter things I am still in college I went back late and had a lot of review to do plus I work and do my part at the hospital. I actually start back for the fall tomorrow I have 15 credit hours set for this semester I'm most likely over loaded and will end up dropping one I'm going to try to test out of my math ( I'm terrible in math I just cant wrap on head around the numbers)

and its true when we have psychology back grounds we think that we should be perfect think perfect and never have issues:(
The person you educate today maybe the one you save tomorrow :)

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #71 on: August 17, 2008, 12:50:28 PM »
Aside from when I was breast feeding 19 years ago I have always been on the itty bitty titty committee.
 ;D

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #72 on: August 17, 2008, 02:53:17 PM »
winiroo : - me too up until 4 weeks ago when I had breast augmentation, I went from 34A to 34DD, best thing iver ever done.

angelx

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #73 on: August 17, 2008, 03:39:25 PM »
Geez louise Angel that is a big change. DD? wow
When I was pregnant with my 18 year old son I went from a B cup to a D cup and wound up with stretch marks on my boobs.
They shrank back to my normal size after I quit breast feeding. They didnt get real big with my second pregnancy. I'm a 38 B now I have day dreamed about things I would have done if I could afford cosmetic surgery.
If I got my boobs done it would be mainly to firm them up, they have plenty of roundness to them.
They have never been firm. LOL even when I was an A cup they where round and squishy. Its not noticeable to anyone but me really. You know how us women can be critical of ourselves.

But I'd have a tummy tuck before I had anything else done. Maybe some liposuction on my inner thighs. Some cosmetic treatments to make my skin look marvelous. Remove spider veins, freckles and stretch marks. And get laser hair removal on everything I shave.

I'd still look like me but better.

Offline Lostgirl

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #74 on: August 17, 2008, 04:12:27 PM »
Hi Girls

Yeah, tummy tuck would be my first choice if a) I had the money and b) if I had the guts!  Ooops - I do have the guts and that is why I would like a tummy tuck!  What I mean is if I had the courage!  I look like a kangaroo complete with a year old joey in my pouch at the moment!

Betty - I have been in the States two and a half years now.  My husband's Company moved us across in a very sudden move due to re-organisation.  We had lived here previously 1999-2001 and were transferred back to Scotland.  Didn't think we would be moving again!  We are only here temporary - its not a permanent move.  It was here that my husband (silly twit) caught the virus and then thoughtfully gave it to me!  That was May 2006 and our diagnosis was last August.  Hey, its my anniversary of that 'awful day'!  Anyway, we are talking lots and lots now, taking one day at a time, but both of us are now much more at peace.  Final decisions as to where we go from here will eventually be made but in time.  Meantime I will keep up with the diet (rats, just ate some chocolate!) and now I have the sports bra can get cracking with the skipping rope!

Cindy - our body types may be similar but rest assured you are much younger and far prettier than me!  Bet you don't look like a kangaroo nude either!

Take care.
Hugs
Lorraine



Lostgirl

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #75 on: August 18, 2008, 03:44:36 AM »
hiya

it honestly doesnt feel a huge change, they are big but not overly and because there implants there very pert, I did have under muscle implants so they dont look like stuck on coconuts, they are very natural looking.

I have had lipo aswell to my tummy but that was 3-4 years ago after my daughter was born I couldnt shift the pocket of fat so had it sucked out instead.

I went to belgium to have my breasts done and saved about £1500 which is roughly £3000 dollars.

I want to have the laser hair removal aswell may save for that next.

Angelx

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #76 on: August 18, 2008, 04:45:40 AM »
morning ladies,

Angel, I forgot to welcome you to the forums. welcome!

I didnt rollerblade, I wussed out again. It seems that in the past years I am far less corageous than I was before. I mean, I used to do that quite regularly. i wonder if there's something wrong with my sense of balance, b/c sometimes when I ride my bike down a hilly street (in so far as there're hills here which is a very mild slope, no san francisco street) I get all nervous and feel like Im sliding down a pit and have to get off. also when Im driving a car, I get all dizzy after a while esp at night, and I feel like Im losing control over the car and its all too fast for me.

Maybe Im just slowing down with old age. Or maybe its all the weed I used to smoke. BF is still amazed when we watch a movie, and 2 weeks later its like I could watch it all over and be surprised.

Im off to a week of work and errands. It seems for the amount of beaurocracy, translation, lawyers needed to register our wedding both here and in spain I might as well open my own company. Ahhr, just finding out about it makes me all tense.
Ive been feeling like a loser about work. am sure its just a phase. if there's one thing I take from the wisdom of you ladies on this thread, is that if we hang on for long enough things get better or we change our perspective.

Tendai - how are you girl? How is your brother? I hope so much that he's a little better. I read that the opposition said withdrawing negotiatons is not an option. He is so soft spoken, but so stubborn. There was an interview with him (Tzv... - sorry wont attempt to spell his name again) on BBC and the interviewer was pressing him about having withdrawn from the elections. Couldnt he get that they were rigged? couldnt he get that people were being intimidated by gruesome violence? usually the BBC "gets it" but I think that he was completely off the mark.

Betty - my 1st language is hebrew which is the world's oldest living language. its nothing like the european languages and we use a different alpahebet written from right to left, you may have seen it sometime on a bible. It sounds like arabic which is the closest language to it although they are still very different and use a completey different script.

I am also worried about Cristy - please give us a shout to let us know yoú're OK.

Lorraine, Im sure you're a beautiful woman. Dont ask me how I have a 6th sense for these things. Tummy or not. After giving birth (when & if) who knows what'll happen to mine. Its not flat but Im ok with my body now, after fighting it for many many years. Ironically b/c now am so terrified of what I tihink Im already seeing in my face, skin seemingly more thin so veins show, hollows etc, and I dont want to end up looking like madonna. I just want to stick with all the things Wendy mentioned, all the imprerfections, just stay the way i am and finally I appreciate that I look ok and dont want to change anything b/c I am threatened with something bigger than weight gain or simple aging. I do have cellulite and bulges on the thighs and all that like every other woman but I dont care about that. Oh one of my worst flaws is self inflicted wich is my tattoes that i hide on my shoulders and scars on my forearms from a suicide attempt many years ago, which is a crying shame cos my arms are nice. Ive hated my body my whole life for various reasons. It took HIV to make me accept it with all the damage.

But if I could, Id do a total body and face makeover, not to look like Michael jackson or something. Id do my breasts most definately and bare them everywhere, the sauna, the beach - quite the norm here  ;D. But honestly I dont like the botoxed skinny look at all, like what they did on "the swan". They just overdid it, fixing teeth (mine are getting ruined too) was enough in most cases, they didnt need to do a full top to bottom "renovation" like they did. I think most of hollywood looks good on screen or fully made up on the red carpet but not in real life. There are some exceptions like charlize therone or halle berry, if I spelled that right.

We are who we are... if we can just accept it and look at others and ourselves kindly. I think its better to be middle aged and full-figured and maybe somewhat white haired like people used to look, than look like a wax statue the way people do now, with fish pouts and expressionless brows and clothes hanger bodies.

What a speech... hope you have a great week ladies, lots of love to you all

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline Lostgirl

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #77 on: August 18, 2008, 05:19:33 AM »
Well here we are, 4am and cannot sleep again!  Thank goodness for the Forum!  After reading about all our moans and groans about our bodies, I thought to myself - gosh we are all so alike aren't we?  I guess it doesn't matter who we are, pos, neg, model, country girl, old, young, we all worry about what we look like!  I guess the bottom line (no pun intended!) is that we all want to be strong and healthy.  It sounds like we are all trying our best, and that's all we can do.  Being together in this helps a lot, don't you think?  I am even beginning to like my kangaroo pouch!  I was getting so uptight about the effects of all this on my figure, my skin etc (which feels like crepe paper in places due to the loss of fat!) that I was loosing perspective of it all.  But knowing you are all out there, going through the same ups and downs, makes me feel as though we are all sitting around together having a cup of coffee/glass of wine laughing about it!  At least we don't have to face the cameras like all those Hollywood girls after being airbrushed to death in magazines!  It must be awful to think that in real life, people are looking at you and thinking 'she didn't look like that in Cosmo'!!!

Speaking of wine, I have had to give up even a small glass of the stuff - not that I ever drank much - I'm the original 'one sherry and I'm falling over' type - but found that with the meds I am on (think it is the Sustiva) I was so spaced out for an hour after I drank even one glass that it just wasn't worth it. Do miss a beer with a curry tho (that's the Scot in me!).  Anybody else have that issue?

Dragonette - Hope you are getting through all that paperwork!  When are you getting married and moving?  It must be a stressful time for you.  Wishing you well with it all.  I laughed when you mentioned the 'hilly street' - can't remember seeing many of them around when I lived there!  Our stairs were the steepest thing I had to climb!  But I also have problems sometimes with that dizzy feeling when driving or even just pushing the shopping cart!  I feel real 'disorientated'.

Well today I have my clinic visit.  I was having real problems with my old practice - just couldn't get an appointment - so am now going to my husbands practice which I had previously avoided doing.  However, they could fit me in real quick and I have had blood work done since first week in April so really need to get that done.  Have got a different Consultant tho so will see how we get on together. 

Wishing you all well.
Lorraine
Lostgirl

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #78 on: August 18, 2008, 11:02:55 AM »
hello ladies, m just bout to knock. can see that there's been an interesting discussion goin on; boobs!!!some of us would really appreciate some breast job and go a couple of cups up, gee m a 32A!!!i've come to terms with it but a woman could use some boob job...and toss some of those wonder bras.lol

wel, ma weekend was not bad. went to stay over at ma boyfriends with his sister and his nephew...his cousin also came over on saturday. they are quite a nice bunch...but of course ma momther was not amused. she woke me up in the wee hours on the morning and rapped!!!then woke me up to clean her house!i swear she was on the verge of beating the daylights out of me. i don't know what she is goin to do this weekend becoz m planning on spending it him; i did not get to see him this weekend!


Lorraine- hope ur clinic visit goes well...

Zanele- oh so u r tendai's home gal, Shona or Ndebele?

Queen- u at 805 gal, wow! hope to be there one of these days...

Ladies, i need a job seriously, our receptionist just told us that one of the gals has been fired!this totally sucks!!ok, will tak u to u 2mrw, i gotta hear this story...

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #79 on: August 18, 2008, 11:44:57 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wow, I just want to say first, Drag and Lorraine, I get those issues about getting a bit dizzy when driving.  I just talk myself through it, so I don't crash.  I'm relieved to find out I'm not the only one.

Brandy, my therapist, who is a PhD and has been doing therapy for years admitted to me a bit ago that he has his own therapist.  You see, we're all human.

Angel, you're not on meds yet are you?  I think you've got a fairly new diagnosis.  Usually being on certain meds for awhile will have some ladies' boobs getting larger.  I'm glad you were able to get the surgeries done if they make you feel better.  My body has gone through so many changes through the years.  I suppose plastic surgery is the only way my body would make any visual changes.  I've seen horror picture of people's bellies immediately following lipo; is it really red and does it burn a lot?  I'm not downing you, please don't think that.  Just curious.

Wendy, I'm with you.  If I had a choice, it would be to firm up my boobs, not necessarily for them to get larger.  They're pretty droopy anymore.

Lorraine, happy late anniversary and I wish you tons more.  Hey, chocolate is hard to resist, diet or no diet.  I always let loose on the weekends regarding going off my diet.  I usually overdo it though.  Anyway, I don't drink (anymore).  I'm a recovering addict and overdo anything that makes me feel good (including booze).  If I could limit myself to one or two, I would.  So I can't really answer your question.  And I'm not on Sustiva anymore either.  But if it bothers you, then maybe you could drink your wine earlier in the day?

Drag, when I was much younger, I took a straight-razor and went from my wrist to the crack of my arm in straight lines on both arms.  So, I have scars also.  But, I don't try to cover it up and most people don't ask.  I also have tattoos, as you know, and have one on each hand.  So I can't hide those.  I regret getting the ones done on my hands; when people first meet me, that's the first thing they look at.  I'm sure they have some pre-judgements.  I just wonder what it will be like when I do try to find a job again. 

Mahalia, when I read the first line you typed, it made me laugh.  Thanks for that.  Anyway, I hope you find another job; truly I do.  Any leads?

I didn't get up (again) until like 8:50 a.m.  That's pretty late for me.  I'm not sure why I'm sleeping so much.  Anyway, I've exercised, ate breakfast and had my shower, so I feel human.

When my brother came over last night, we were watching the DVD of "The Wire" and my DVD player busted.  I couldn't believe it.  It's less than two years old.  My best friend gave it to me two X-mas's ago.  I wonder if she still has the receipt.  My brother's girlfriend said it may need to be blown out with that contraption people use on their keyboards.  She said there may be dust in it.  I don't know anything about electronics.  Anyway, I don't remember where I put the paperwork on my electronic stuff (of course), but I suppose I should try to find it to see what it says about a warranty.

My best friend has two cars.  One she drives and the other one she got for her son when he was driving (he doesn't anymore, for now).  The car she doesn't drive is a Toyota (an older model).  She offered to let me drive it to save on gas (you all know my car's an 8-cylinder), as long as I pay for the insurance on it.  Next month the tags are due on my car.  I would get these again, in case something happened to the Toyota.  I was also advised to talk to my insurance agent about "storage" insurance to keep on my car.  Supposedly, if I don't keep up any insurance, when I go to get insurance again, it would be costly.  I'm going to have to check things out.  But I'm wondering if driving the Toyota would be worth it if I'm going to pay for insurance on that and storage insurance on my car.  I suppose the gas would make up for the extra cost.  And it would be pretty easy to drive mine again should anything happen to the Toyota.  So, next week I may be driving a different car, we'll see. 

Nothing planned until tomorrow when I go to the Hope (my volunteer job).  I hope you ladies have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline TreDai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #80 on: August 18, 2008, 01:43:41 PM »
Hello!

I wanted to say hi!!! I haven't been around much Lately, And I Miss Y'all!!

Smooches to all of you!!  if you have yahoo hit me up on trebien77 or myspace tredai

-Tre'
"Our people die because of a lack of knowledge"
 Miss Ohio Plus America 2008

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #81 on: August 18, 2008, 02:06:00 PM »
Hi Betty,
 (no not on meds yet and I hope not to be for some time)

Your post made me giggle, about you not downing me. Honestly honey something about my surgeries doesnt get me down one little bit. Considering the shock news Ive had with regards to the HIV. So you ask away.

My lipo was because I had my child and when I got back to pre-preg weight, I had a pocket of tummy fat I couldnt shift, I decided exercise was the way to go and hired a personal trainer to help me out a couple of times a week, after a few months it still wouldnt shift, he said because I had a c-section it would be very difficult if not impossible to shift, so decided to have lipo. To be quite honest it wasnt at all painful I had 4 tny little red dots where they had done the incisons which are completely gone now, I was swollen for a while and had to wear a horrid tight corset for 6 weeks but the results were awesome.

Now boobs, well I come from a family of big chested women and I had tiny A cups, so at 32 decided I was gonna take the plunge and have it done and I love my new boobs. I am only 4 weeks post op and still have the support bra to wear for 2 more weeks.

feel free to ask anything you like, im an open boob so to speak
angelx

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #82 on: August 18, 2008, 02:38:33 PM »
im an open boob so to speak
angelx

LOL


Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #83 on: August 18, 2008, 03:40:22 PM »
oh bugger of course i meant book. well at least that gave you a giggle winiroo hee hee.

Ax

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #84 on: August 18, 2008, 04:18:34 PM »
HEY LADIES, I'M BACK!!!!!!!

And it is good to be back, dammit. I have missed you all like crazy and while gone it seem like the rest of the world was stuck on stupid!!!!!! For the moment, I am stuck with dial-up until Wednesday but at this point, I am just happy to be back online. Yes, I had some serious internet withdrawals and it wasn't pretty... ;D One thing for sure, it nice to see the new faces. I am so behind with everyone and too lazy to read what I have missed so I will just go from here.

Where to start? Well, me and the kitties are just loving the place but I have to get rid of Nef and Athena.. :( I haven't been able to find a home for them and called animal enforcement, not thrilled with having to call them but really has no other choice. I am just concerned because if they are not adopted out in 15 days, they will be put to sleep.Animal enforcement was suppose to come today but they never showed up. So, they have another grace period, I almost feel like I am putting them on death row and that is breaking my heart.

I love living alone again and cherish the privacy. It is nice living down from my oldest sister and we have actually been acting like sisters. Yesterday we went out and had some burgers at a restaurant that has been open since I was in high school. Then we went to Gabriels because she had to exchange some curtains. We have been there 3 times total. One of the curtains didn't go with her apartment so she gave them to me and I hung them up about an hour ago.

The car finally got legal last week after having to replace the windshield, spark plugs, fuel filter, windshield motor, battery mount, and various lights. One of my old neighbors saw me one day at the old place having problems with the car and has been there every since. He has done all the work the car need and I only had to pay him 70 bucks and that included putting the system in. Yeah, that's right, Mami, has BOOM now... ;)

Tendai, you are so right, the only thing missing is a man in my life. And believe me that has been a bit of a mini drama or love triangle in itself that kind of played itself out. Anyone remember the neighbor I had a crush on at my old place? Something almost got started between me and him but then circumstances came up, as in his father had 2 strokes and flatlined. And I haven't heard from him since. And if any of you remember Rico, well, heard some news about him too. He went back to his hometown, found a new job and was doing well until he ended up getting burned with various stds, got tested for hiv but I hadn't heard the results of that yet. And if he did pop up poz, I wouldn't think it would be from me because we wore condoms and my vl at that time was undetectable.

Once again, it is good to be back and NOT have to bitch for a change. :D
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #85 on: August 18, 2008, 04:27:50 PM »
Good Afternoon!
Why is that ladies always bemoan their bodies? I am certain the men aren't one bit worried. That is definitely something I wish I had...LOL! I have gained SOOOO much weight in the last year. I weigh more than I ever have. My doctor told me it is not the meds, I'm on Atripla, and I had my thyroid tested...nada. The only thing I can attribute it to is that when I go sick and couldn't eat, basically wasting, my metabolism went into starvation mode and essentially stopped. I don't think it has woken up again. I hold most of my weight in my stomach, hips, but and thighs, but I have an "hourglass" shape. My best feature is my waist... :) My chest is a 36C. When I was sick it went down to a very little B...so that's me. Some days I just hate the way I look and other days I think, hey, I don't look too bad...Oh well, enough of that.

Last night my crazy neighbor upstairs was banging on the door next to mine. I live in condo complex so I share a wall with two others. Well it was 3:30am! Of course my dog is barking away and I get up to shush her and find out what is going on. Well to make a long story short the upstairs neighbor has had it out for my neighbor. At the beginning of the year he startred calling the police saying that my neighbor made all kinds of noise that would wake him up. Well I live next to him and never heard anything. The police would keep coming out and they basically said the guy upstairs was not playing w/ a full deck, you know. Well, around April or so my neighbor moved out so his place has been empty. The neighbor upstairs keeps calling the police and saying that he is making noise. I have told the police several times that no one even lives there. A few weeks ago they came out again, of course always in the middle of the night, and told them that the guy moved months ago and it has been vacant so I don't know what that guys problem is. Anyways...when he was banging on the door this morning I opened up my door and told him no one was there. And he said there's all this banging going on and I said I don't hear anything and I was sleeping. He goes to rant and rave and says someone is in there. He is totally crazy! There is a lot more but it will take me too long to explain. All I know is that he is the kind of crazy that scares me. His neighbor upstairs moved out because of him and now my neighbor did too. What a maniac! I just wish the police would tell him to knock it off!

Oh well...I've gotta go meet my sister. Talk to you all later!

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #86 on: August 18, 2008, 05:10:51 PM »
Hello ladies,

Hey TreDai, good to hear from you.

Angel, hee.  I laughed at "open boob" also.  I think that was a Freudian slip.  I suppose if I were younger, I wouldn't mind getting the surgeries done to try to look better.  Now that I'm older, I'm not that worried about it.  After "med body" changes also, it's not on my list of priorities anymore.  I do exercise to try to stay a little healthy, and have not smoked in a month, but I do love my weekend candy binges. ;)

Queen, it's good to have you back.  I remember Rico.  That's the guy you were with when your son came to pick you up, isn't it?  The one that was pushy?  Well, it's no surprise that he's had some STDs.    I'm so sorry about your kitties.  I feel bad, and they're not even mine.  But, the important thing is that you have a place (it does make me even more sad looking at your avatar).  Well, we have to do what we have to do.  So, will you only have one cat when Nef and Athena are gone?   I'm glad you have your car also.  It's about time some good things were happening to you!

Andrea, that neighbor of yours sounds like he should be in a mental health facility.  If he gets too out of control, you might want to call the police and tell them what he's been doing.  They could probably do something about it.  Does he rent or own the place he lives in?  Because if he rents, the police could talk to the landlord about getting him out of there.  I wouldn't put up with it, not at all.

Well, my best friend called and wanted to know if she could come over when she got off work. Her son works in town and he doesn't have a ride home.  Of course I told her she could.  She also told me the Toyota needs a new battery, which she will get to Friday if she can.  She said she's going to get the car road-ready as fast as possible though.  All it needs besides the battery is the oil change she's planning on getting Friday (and the tires rotated, same day).  I called my insurance place and to have just comprehensive, which is what they said they would do, would cost $5.73 a month.  They said if I switched by the first of the month, I would have enough left over from my policy now to cover a couple months.  I will still have to pay for tags, but oh well.  If something were to happen to the Toyota, my car would be ready to go.  This will sure save me on gas.

Nothing newsworthy other than that.  I hope all you ladies have a good night.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline netta

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #87 on: August 18, 2008, 06:02:58 PM »
Hey girls!, Vivt- that is a crazy ass neighbor u got!!! lol be careful.
Nothing much going on here,back a t home and regrouping.
QUEEN- so happy to here from you and yes I live in Macon, Georgia, but born and raised in NYC!Let me know when and where u are going to in GA.
BETTY-congrats on the no smoking !great news about the use of ur friends car. Also i love your avitar pic and ur dd is so pretty.
Betty I can't wait to see iif I'll have enough money for a smaller car and trade in this old caddy. MY gd, who just started kindergarden, cried when i droped her to schooh so I had to go in with her, she keeps saying she doesn't want breakfast at school and I know why now,She is shy and doen't know anyone there! So she eats at home and we take her just in time to go staright to class.
WINN- I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING OK WITH UR NEW MEDS.
TENDAI- My prayers go out to you and your brother, as u know my brother is also hiv+ and has hep-c, he just got out of the hospital, but has out lived athe docs expectations/

!Now ladies I am also over weight and not pleased with my body. I am only 5'1 and way 155-157 lbs. I have a tummy and a small frame so i look like I am 6 mos pregnant! OK I am eating right , but i crave sweets .i want to start exercising soon as i get  clearance from  my doctor about my back and this law suit! I did walk the dog last week and that felt good.

ANGEL- welcome, you are blessed that u had all that surgery and doing well.
I had breast reduction 1 year ago and am now a 38. i was a 42 and then some!Now mys sis had a tummy tuck and I wante d one so  so bad till she got so ill  from complications! shewas bedridden for some time but better now and looks great!
Welcome DENISE
VIVT- I got my nose pierce this year for my 50th bday!

LOST Girl- nice to meet you! My great grand mother was pure Scottish!my grand fathers' mother.My dad who is diseased left a copy of  a drawing of our Scottish family crest (Ferguson) my last name. i plan to get a tattoo of it soon.
SUN ,TRE-DAI. MOON, QUEEN,WINN,DRAG,SNOW,MAHALIA,MOMS,BLESSED- shout out. to EVERYONE ELSE ((((HUGS)))))) One LOVE!
ps. here is a pic of my new love, my puppy ,Blue. he is huskie mixed with blue eyes. also a pic of my 5 yr. old grand with here new hair do.

[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: August 18, 2008, 06:45:09 PM by netta »
"to thine own self be true"

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #88 on: August 18, 2008, 07:05:54 PM »
I think someone mentioned my cd4 count earlier and I missed that. Honestly, I consider myself blessed when it comes to that. I hadn't been taking my meds because I had packed them away, accidently, I swear. They had been packed for about a week or so. I even tried calling my doctor to ask if I should get back on them but he is on vacation.

Betty--Yeah, I feel bad about the kittens. I do get to keep Lucifer and I am glad, I have 120 bucks invested in him from when he got fixed last month. The demon kitty goes no where but I think he will be ok, he started out by himself. And I agree it is about time something is going right for me and it is a big relief. Um, no the one where my son had to get me was Kevin. Rico was the one I was seeing around Thanksgiving and we split up around Christmas. You know the one who was bawling over his ex that has another man?

Netta--My trip to Ga got cancelled because my brother's daughter came to visit and burned the house down. So now my brother, his gf, and her kids are staying with my uncle. But I knew there was someone who was in Georgia.

Now that the dust has cleared, my diabetes decided to flare up. My A1C was at 8.1 before that 6.2 so now my primary wants to see me in the am. I'm not overly concerned because he told me if my A1C came back high he was going to start me on the Lantus shots. I am overdue to get the scans done for my liver and lung. I really need to get on that but I am still trying to regroup from the move. Funny how I can never get my diabetes and hiv to be good at the same time but I figure better my diabetes than my hiv. I know kind of a dismal way to look at it but I do have a game plan, I am just waiting to see how my bills are going to pan out here before I try to get a membership to the Y.

I swear it feels so good to be back among you all, you just don't know. I'll check back in later. There's a lot of things I need to catch up on online.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #89 on: August 18, 2008, 08:34:59 PM »
My mothers mother was supposedly Scottish. Her last name was Burns. Not sure about the spelling.

Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #90 on: August 18, 2008, 09:46:25 PM »
Hey everyone!

Queen-You posted right before I did but I did not have time to re post. Welcome back. I am glad things have finally settled down

Well, I finally got my nose pierced today. YAY for me! I was very scared that it would hurt when my sister reminded me that I went through that whole blood marrow test which was a pain I would never wish on my enemies. She went with me and I asked her to hold my hand and she made fun of me and said she wasn't going to, but she did... :) She is 18 and much more brave than me. She has her belly button, tongue, and lip pierced AND 2 tattoos. She is the baby of the family and the wild one LOL! Anyways...it really wasn't that bad, like you all told me. The guy was really good and very fast. I am glad I did it and I like it... :)

Netta-You go girl!

That's all for tonight. Next Wednesday the kids are back in school.... ;D :'( These last few days are going to be spent getting all the last minute details ready.

Have a good night everyone!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #91 on: August 18, 2008, 10:18:19 PM »
So tired tonight, whew, what a Monday.  They didn't fire me after I got pissy and burned out last week.  I am still walking on eggshells, though.  I'm not the nutjob, I just bust my ass and get no appreciation.  I will just slow down and try to blend at the office.   ;D

i wonder if there's something wrong with my sense of balance, ...... also when Im driving a car, I get all dizzy after a while esp at night, and I feel like Im losing control over the car and its all too fast for me.

Maybe Im just slowing down with old age. Or maybe its all the weed I used to smoke.

THIS is what I've been going through forEVER and I have never smoked weed, GF! 

I thought it was my blonde hair.........   ::)

Wow, I just want to say first, Drag and Lorraine, I get those issues about getting a bit dizzy when driving.  I just talk myself through it, so I don't crash.  I'm relieved to find out I'm not the only one.

I talk myself through this crap every day driving to and from work. 

Today was really bad, its worse when my fibromyalgia acts up.  Today I had trouble breathing, even while at the office, so you can imagine how I had to will myself to drive home.  I went slow and pissed off everyone behind me, lol.  I have a big smiley face on my spare tire cover, hee hee.   :D

Last night I went to Iceman's for dinner.  He asked what I wanted to do for my 40th birthday.  My birthday is 11/14.  I replied that I was going to be 39 in a few months, wouldn't be 40 until 2009.  He said he knew that.   :-* 

Ahhhhhh, sweet romance.   ;)

~Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline minismom

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #92 on: August 18, 2008, 10:35:32 PM »
Let me start off by admitting that I haven't read anything since post #22..LOL.  Mini and I just made it back from AMG about 20 minutes ago.  I see that Jan already posted a wee teaser about Mini.  We did have a wonderful time, but it went way too fast.  Leaving was bitter sweet and I still get teary thinking about everyone.  Jan in the forums is wonderful- Jan in real person is nothing short of amazing.  I'll post pictures later of her and Mini doing the hokey pokey to "Stayin' Alive".

My head is spinning and I really need to take a shower.  I just couldn't spend one more day without dropping a line to all my sweet ladies out there.

Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #93 on: August 18, 2008, 10:40:18 PM »
I'm glad to hear ya'll made it back. It sounds like you both had fun.

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #94 on: August 19, 2008, 02:54:17 AM »
morning girls,

well ive woken up feeling tearful again, does this ever go away or am i destined to feel miserable and down forever.

steve keeps saying its ok and its early days but I hate the black cloud feeling I keep getting, I cried again yesterday afternoon only for a couple of minutes but still.

sorry for the downbeat post
Ax

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #95 on: August 19, 2008, 09:49:48 AM »
Morning ladies,

Netta, your granddaughter is beautiful.  And I love your puppy!  I love his eyes.  Yeah, these big old cars ride smooth, but paying for the gas is hell.

Queen, oh, now I remember Rico.  Sorry about the confusion.  About the diabetes....I can hardly ever get my diabetes and HIV results to both come back good.  I'm on the Lantus shot.  It works really well for me.  Before I was on Lantus, I was on this insulin called Novulin-N, but it was twice a day, where the Lantus is only once (thank heaven).  I'm glad you'll be able to keep Lucifer.  He'll keep you company.  My kitty does.

Wendy, how are you feeling?

Andrea, you go girl!  I'm glad you like your new piercing.  Did they give you stuff to clean it with and instructions?

Cin, I didn't know you have fibromyalgia also.  Yuck.  So, in November, are you going to be 40 or are you really going to be 39.  I hate to guess if I'm wrong.

Mum, I'm glad you're back with us.  I'm sure you're going to be tired.  But it sounds like you guys had fun.  I'm so glad.

Angel, you're only newly diagnosed.  It usually takes somewhere around a year I believe for the emotions to come back under some kind of normalcy.  And don't feel bad for posting what you did.  That's one of the reasons we're here, is to support each other.  It does get better, trust me. 

I'm all showered and ready to go to my volunteer job.  I have about 45 minutes yet.  Nothing exciting happening.  A friend of mine had back surgery yesterday, so I'll probably call her in a few minutes.  They took out two discs and put in two plastic ones.  Sounds very strange to me, but I guess that's the advances of modern medicine.  Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good day.  I'll probably be back later.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline mahalia

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #96 on: August 19, 2008, 10:10:12 AM »
MUM- good to have u back, yeah we'l be waiting for those pics...we surely did miss u!say hi to Mini for me.

VIV- finally!!!u shud be looking great!

BETTY-thanks, none as yet, but i remain hopeful...i've now been told i got outstanding medical bills over USD180 and i only make approximately USD620 a month...God help me!hahaha, its just crazy as hell, God has a way of working things out for us nonetheless.

QUEEN- u forgot to take ur meds for a  whole week!woman, tell me u joking!!!!

Later ladies, lots and lots of love...wil try pass by later, duty calls


Offline vivyt

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #97 on: August 19, 2008, 10:25:26 AM »
Good morning, good morning!

Cindy-Well it sounds like things are going well. I hope everything settles down at work. I know that if I have problems at work it can really effect me. Did the doctor's ever figure out what was causing the dizzy spells? It sounds like a few of the ladies experience similar things.

Angel-This is a difficult time and I totally understand. You will go through so many emotions. Do you have anyone to talk to? I mean, besides your husband? It has been a little over a year since my diagnosis and I still sometimes have my down times. I have said this before but I really mean it, the ladies here are great and have good advice. Don't feel bad about being down. You are entitled to it.

Wendy- Feeling any better?

Betty-They only gave me instructions on how to clean it and it's really simple. I am just supposed to wash it with a clear, antibacterial soap like Softsoap. The guy said just to leave it alone and don't touch it and it will heal quicker. I forget it's there actually. It's not even really sore...just a little tender to the touch. I just wory about blowing my nose...LOL!

Mum-I am glad you had a good time! I can't wait to hear all about it! :)

Well I am going into my classroom again today and get some things ready. I just found out yesterday that we are going to only have 30 kids! Originally we were supposed to have 37. My principal is creating a 4/5 combo class to help. She never really follows through with stuff like that so I am surprised and HAPPY!

Talk to you all later... :)

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #98 on: August 19, 2008, 12:26:22 PM »
Angel - Dont worry about posting negative things we all do it. Its no big deal, thats why we are here.
I agree with Betty. It took me at least a year before I started feeling normal again. Then a couple more years before HIV and everything that involves being positive became routine and normal.

I'm feeling ok ladies. I think I have grown used to all these antibiotics. My only side effect is being poopy. But thats kinda normal if you know what I mean.  ;D
I still take a promethasine before I take my pm dose of antibiotics. I dont want to tempt fate and have an all night throw up fest.

Its been raining here. My computer is next to my back door which is a big glass door so I can see the whole back yard. The turtle is making a trip around the pool right now. I keep looking out there to make sure she doesn't take a nose dive into the pool. I haven't seen anymore of the mini turtles.
I've looked all over the yard but I haven't gone into the garden and moved plants around to see if there are any in there. Plus there is some hiding spots near the pool equipment and machinery. Who knows.
I'm rambling....


Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #99 on: August 19, 2008, 12:33:48 PM »
just wanted to say thanks for the nice messages.
ill post a bit more tomorrow when im feeling a touch better, ive been on and off crying most of today.

angelx

Offline Lostgirl

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #100 on: August 19, 2008, 12:41:36 PM »
Morning/afternoon/evening ladies.  Wherever you are in the world.

Win - its raining like mad here in Houston too.  Pity as it is my step-daughter's b/day today (she, along with my daughter and her fiance are all over from Scotland for a vacation) and she was hoping to get some of that sun while here due to the fact we don't get a lot in the North East of Scotland!  Still, at least it is warm rain!

Speaking of Scotland, all you ladies with Scottish ancestry - I'm proud of you all!!  'Ferguson' - great Scottish name, and of course 'Burns' - well you can't get more Scottish than a bit of Robbie Burns - Ode to the Haggis and all that!! Here's a bit of fun for a rainy day:   A wee test on your 'Scottishness' - see who can come up with a translation of a famous Burns poem title - 'Wee timerous, cowrin beastie ......'   GOOD LUCK!!  What do the words mean, and who is he talking about?????  Something to think about!

Take care.
Lorraine
ps haven't even bothered with spell check as it will probably blow a gasket with the Scots!
Lostgirl

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #101 on: August 19, 2008, 12:51:17 PM »
Afternoon Ladies---

It figures just as I am ready to post, Lucifer wants to be loved. I guess you know, I slid his ass out of the way. He is so spoiled. I am going to train him to walk with leash soon. He has been dropping hints that he wants to go outside. I just hope I don't get mauled by a dog when I decide to take him out. I think I'll start him out on being in the backyard on the leash first. I'll keep you posted on that.

I went to see my primary this morning. It seems my chloresterol has gotten a little high at 124, it was 104 a week prior. I have been trying to figure out what I have been eating. Nothing bad that I can tell, a lot of salad and avacados, and a few steaks. I haven't even had any shrimp lately. It also appears that my liver enzymes have gone back to normal. I can't help but realize this considering that I have not been taking my meds lately. I have yet to hear back from my ID doc to see if he wants me to get back on them or if he is giving me a holiday of sorts. My A1C is at 8.1 so I will be going to a diabetes class soon and starting the Lantus shot at night. He wants my fasting sugar to be at 100 and it has been around 180. I think it is because of those late night munchies. But I am going to start the Y very soon. I have already been talking to my sister about it.

That is about it for me. Going to surf for a few then make some calls. I'll check back in later.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #102 on: August 19, 2008, 02:55:39 PM »
I have no clue Lorraine. I'm just a plain old white mutt here. My family isn't really connected to any heritage. I think I favor the english part of my ancestry in looks.
Mutt meaning there are so many different lineages in my family we cant claim one. LOL

My cousin visited Scotland several years ago. She enjoyed the trip and when she asked locals about the family name she was told she was a descendant of sheep thieves. LOL

Queen - I've seen a couple of cats on leashes in my lifetime but have never seen one without laughing.
I did find a video of a kitty going for a drag on a leash. LOL
http://www.youtube.com/v/VYFykLBcsNo&hl=en&fs=1

Offline Lostgirl

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #103 on: August 19, 2008, 03:31:42 PM »
Win - not that it is of world shattering interest but it is an ode to a mouse and means: 'little frightened crouched animal'!!  Gee, a little like myself this time last year!!

Lets face it, most Scots are descended from nefarious clansmen - sheepstealing the most common one!  How do you think Australia got settled??
LOL
L.
Lostgirl

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #104 on: August 19, 2008, 03:34:31 PM »
LOL

Offline BT65

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #105 on: August 19, 2008, 04:52:05 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Mahalia, I really hope a job opens up for you soon somewhere. 

Andrea, well I can tell you that any time I've had a piercing (facial or otherwise) I cleaned around the piercing with a "pierced ear" cleaning solution and twisted the stud a couple times, to avoid crustiness and scabs.  Don't worry about blowing your nose.  I didn't even notice when my nose was pierced.  So, it sounds like you're ready for school to start back (well, not really, eh?).

Wendy, I'm glad you're feeling some better.  If the turtle fell into the pool, wouldn't he be able to swim? 

Angel, you just hang in there.  It'll get better, I promise.

Lorraine, I had no clue about that Scottish "riddle."  I know my dad's father was from Ireland.  I think his mother was English.  On my mum's side, there's Welsh, Scottish and something else, not sure what.  I suppose I'm just a "mutt" like what Wendy was talking about.

Queen, yeah, I would guess the cholesterol and elevated A1C were from late night munching.  Mine will probably be off as well, as I do a lot of "weekend" munching.  I just can't give up sweets sometimes. 

The day at the shelter was uneventful.  Someone left.  He went down to the big homeless shelter because they can offer more assistance and somehow he got in.  Usually everywhere is full.  I wonder where Mum has been.  I'm dying to hear about Mexico City and see some pictures.  Anyway, I'm posting now instead of tonight because my best friend is supposed to be over, so I won't get a chance to post later.  You ladies all have a good evening.

 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline keepingfaith

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #106 on: August 19, 2008, 06:07:26 PM »
Hey Ladies,

How have you all been? Nothing really exciting going on in my life at the moment. I work in a daycare center and a bug has been going around. I think I have it, Its coming out of both ends (TMI?) I have started my new class and it is going ok. I have been really tired lately. I stayed up all day and night friday until 630 am saturday morning doing my hair in some kinky braids. I was about to fall over. My son birthday was sunday and he had a party.

Have any of you ladies feel as if you are workin on auto polite. its like  i cant concentrate but im gtting the work done  ??? its hard to explain.


Queen- welcome back!!! i have missed you girlie.

Betty- have you started school yet?

Mum-  it sounds like you and mini enjoyed the trip

Angel - its going to be okay, i was just diagonised in dec'07. I cried for like 2 weeks staight no stop all day. It eventuall got better. I foung these women and i started reading and trying to educate my self ((((HUGS)))

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #107 on: August 19, 2008, 06:21:00 PM »
If the turtle fell into the pool, wouldn't he be able to swim? 

Yeah she just wouldn't be able to get out of the pool. We have found her in the pool skimmer a few times.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #108 on: August 19, 2008, 08:52:28 PM »
Glad to know the turtle will survive in the pool. Betty had me worried after she mentioned it and I was thinking if the big turtles could swim then why not the little ones...Uh, yeah, I have been blazing and I am thinking too much.. ;D

Keeping--It is good to be missed. So how is the married life treating you?

Wini---My demon kitty Lucifer is quite large for a tom and I think he is putting on weight from being fixed last month. It will definitely be a work in progress type thing but I don't think I'll have any problems, Lucifer is quite smart for a cat.

Animal Enforcement is coming for Nef and Athena tomorrow. I will miss them so Lucifer will be my last cat. My next pet will be an iguana.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #109 on: August 19, 2008, 09:46:43 PM »
Quick post cause neck is throbbing.  Queen, so sorry about the kitties, I can't even stand to read about it.  :(  I went to the chiropractor today cause my neck was KILLING me, left work early and everything.  My insurance ran out for chiro so I had to pay $45!!! 

As I was leaving work for my appt, the CFO and my mgr went into HR's office.  I have this feeling, very STRONG feeling, that I am going to get fired, call it a hunch.  Its very clicky at work, and if you haven't been there more than 10 years they shitcan you.  I think I'm next so I have been applying to jobs tonight.

Mum, glad you and Mini made it home safely!

Betty, I was born 11/14/69, so i will be 39 soon.  My point was that Iceman is thinking ahead, WAY ahead, and wants us to be together.  Its a great, secure feeling.

OK, neck is pulsing, so I need to go.  More this weekend, and lots more if I lose my job!   ::)

~ Cindy

**Its 3:00am and I can't sleep, my mind is racing about work.  This isn't fair.   :(
« Last Edit: August 20, 2008, 03:00:17 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline daisychain

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #110 on: August 20, 2008, 03:54:59 AM »
Hi all,

yesterday was a crappy day for me, I cried on and off most of the day.
Im so frustrated and angry and sad and hell im not entirely sure what I feel to be honest.
I just want someone to take it all away.

I have been reading lots which I think is NOT helping to be quite honest but I cant seem to stop myself.
Im getting such conflicting advice and I dont know what to believe and do.

I have the shitty cold I cant shift, I dont feel unwell but my head is clogged and it wont go away, im taking a Vitamin C immune booster each day and im on anti-biotics for a girlie issue, im bloated above normal levels.
I dont feel sexy I feel like shite.

We are supposed to be going out with friends at weekend and I just dont want to, which is horrid because prior to finding this out, I was so looking forward to seeing everyone. (we dont go out much due to lack of funds and saving for our wedding which is next year)

Im sorry girls, I havent caught on with everyones names yet.

But the lady who asked if I have anyone beside steve to talk to, well my mum knows whats wrong mainly because we are so close she knows before I even pick up the phone when something is wrong and I knew I wouldnt be able to hide it, so told her as soon as we got back from the clinic, but she is going through her own struggles with cancer so dont like to bug her to much. I have got a number for the george house trust which is a support system but I cant even pick up the phone to ring the number, im so scared and I dont know what from.

Our sex life is terrible at the moment, due to the issue of us having to use condoms when we have sex with each other (see above re anti-biotics from using condoms a week ago) We asked our doc and he said that although he advises we should use them due to the re-infection issue that as long as steve doesnt ejaculate in me then we can if we dont want use them. This is the confusing bit so anyone with advice then throw it my way.

I have read that for a HIV+ female to pass it to a male is pretty rare (although can happen) So a pretty small chance of me re-infecting steve, if he doesnt ejaculate in me that chance of him re-infecting me is reduced too. Is this right?

Also does anyone knows the oral stats me to him and vice versa, im guessing for male giving oral to female the chance of me passing something is pretty slim, but what about me giving him oral.

sorry to get so graphic but we did have a rather healthy sex life and now its at NIL.

im hoping for no tears today
Angelxxx
thanks again

tendai

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Re: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have.
« Reply #111 on: August 20, 2008, 07:24:27 AM »
i've started a new thread.  consider this one closed...

 


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