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What I have just done...

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 This isn't the first time I've tried to do this. Slashing wirst, cuttoing deep into my skin with a sharp serated hunting kife. Hell, I've even put the my postil in my mouth before only for it to be taken away from me.

Now it's a chance to let the meds do thermagic. What has been done is done there is no going back now. I feel the medications starting to work.

I just chewed 24 2MG lorazepam, 30 25mg Amitriptyline & 10 25mg seroquel. All chased down with a pint of good old standby Absolute vodka. I hope I get the result I'm looking for.

If I die this post serves as my last statement to the world. I can't go on living the way I feel about myself, the damage that HIV has done to my body, mind & spirit. I'm not worthy to be around such loving, compassionate people as the lot of you are. I feel as if I am the boil on the butt of humanity that keeps comming back. I try to work on myself, therapy that didn't work, antipressants didn't work, a great HIV doc but he can only help me so much. I feel like everything I worked for healtwise the last 3 years has all been for nothing. The struggle of trying to work. I just can't seem to get along well with others so I am back to working at home with the law firm. I hate that job. I called 127 accounts today and didn't even manage to get one person to pay on their bill. My supervisor tells me I'm too nice, that I should be more forceful in getting the debtors to pay. I see that another way. Wouldn't it be better to kill them with kindness and undertatanding while at the same time encouraging them to pay their bill so it won't be reported to the credit reporting agencies? I have a soft voice that isn't suited to the collections field. I have tried different collecting techniques that I have learned but none of them to work for me.

My family will be hurt bu what I have just done, but I can't be concerned about that anymore. Danny is alone is this journey. I don't care what happens to my "stuff" they can throw it away. While they are at :

1. I do not want a funeral or visitation, flowers or a grave side service of any kind. My casket will be closed. If someone wants to send flowers or food they can make a donation to RIFA (food bank for indigent peple in my area }or a donation to and HIV/AIDS service organization on my behalf.

All I want to do is go to sleep and find peace with myself, I can't find ithatwhere else.

This post or decsion has nothing to do with my lates disgreement with Steve.  Anction like this has been  iin my mind for the last 25 years. No more HAART requardless of what the out come
Dan Jones
2000 years poz May 21, 1986 Died July 27,2006

When I am in my box I would like to wear my AMG 2006 Montreal t shirt & my favorite pair of jeans.

This is real, I took the medications 15 minutes ago... Now I will be able to be free or if not free then maybe brain dead in coma would work fine for me too. I don't care either one of those 2 options are better than what I feel now





  I am looking for my phone bill Dan from September when I find your # I am calling the police and sending them right over..

Dan lives in Jackson TN area code 731. Police number is 731-425-8400

I don't remenber calling you & if I did it was on my cell phone & I recently changed that number * mailing address. It is not your resposibity to take such actions. I don't know you from flip. Please do ,e a favor and just go live you life and let me end mine the way I see fit. It's my life. I have that right.


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