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Author Topic: Worried and Anxious  (Read 1347 times)

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Offline anxiousinchi

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  • Posts: 3
Worried and Anxious
« on: December 04, 2008, 08:54:42 PM »
Hi.  First, thanks for the great site and the job you all do.  I did read your informational links at the top of the forum before asking my question.  I don't have symptoms from HIV but I have been worrying myself sick and I really can't eat/sleep.

Ok.  First the scenario.  I am a gay male.  I met a guy out we ended up hooking up.  I was drunk.  He gave me oral for maybe a minute or two.  I had my head back and wasn't really paying attention.  He then moved around and I assumed he was just putting himself in a different position but instead he inserted my penis into his anus.  Honestly it was very easy to go into and it took me a second to realize what happened.  If anything I was in him for 10 seconds (honest) and he never went all the way down but I was inside him.  I freaked out, pulled out, went to the bathroom and scrubbed it with soap, peed and left.  I did not see any blood on my penis.  I seriously freaked out b/c I never expected that and I have only had anal with two people and the last was four years ago.  It's not my thing.  My stupid reaction caused me not to ask any questions but I can't assume he is safe b/c he did that.  I am more angry at myself for putting myself in a trusting position.

Ok.  So, I know the oral statistics.  I am more concerned with insertive anal for 10 sec.  I know it could get in my urethra or if I had a tiny cut.  I don't have any STDs on my penis to cause any wounds.  I read your info beforehand and I know there is a risk with unprotected insertive anal but it is much less risk than receptive (4 to 14 times less risky).  I am just freaked b/c I think the odds are so in the favor of me catching it but the info seems like it isn't a given.  I have also called the Aids hotline in my city and they don't seem too concerned b/c of the duration, lack of "roughness" and the fact I was the "top".  I am definitely getting a 30 day and 3 month rapid test.

Please give me some guidance.  I am so overly freaked out and now I have to go home for Christmas and I don't want to be comatose in complete fear the whole time.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried and Anxious
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2008, 07:38:55 AM »
anxious,

No, what's happened does not pose a high risk for you at all. The combination of factors, such as you being top and the berevity of the act are all in your favour.

However, you are wise to test because although this is very low risk for you, it is not totally without risk.

The earliest you should test is not one month, but six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks. However, a six week negative does need to be followed up at three months for a conclusive result.

I really do think you'll come out of this ok. Next time you hook up, make sure you've got condoms and lube on hand and make sure your trick KNOWS you do not engage in unprotected intercourse.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline anxiousinchi

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Worried and Anxious
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2008, 10:33:30 AM »
Thank you so much for your response.  I will wait until the 6 week point for the first test.

I do have a research question.  It seems that unprotected insertive anal intercourse has not been fully researched.  Would you know why this is the case?  I assume it has been part of the data collection but has come up without decisive conclusion.  I know there is a risk but sort of surprised of a lack of definitive research. 

I read the About Us page and it seems like you have some really good people on your staff including people who have research experience and involved in clinical trials.  Thanks again for the great site.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Worried and Anxious
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2008, 11:06:21 AM »
anxious,

The problem with decisive research in the realms of something like a sexually transmitted, chronic, terminal infection like hiv is that you cannot conduct one ethically. You can't say to a research group of tops - have unprotected insertive intercourse with this hiv positive bottom and let's see what happens. See what I mean?

We know what we know through over 25 years of patient reporting and knowledge of hiv transmission on the cellular level. We know that there are only certain types of cells that hiv can actually latch onto and infect - and these are not found on the skin, including the skin on your penis. They are, however, found in the urethra, but you have to remember that the surface area of the urethra is MUCH smaller than the surface area of the inside of the rectum. It's also more difficult for infected fluids to actually get down inside the urethra. During unprotected anal, it's always going to be more likely for damage to occur to the bottom - introducing to the bottom yet another possible transmission vector.

However, this is not to say a top cannot become infected. We have many men in the other sections of these forums who were exclusive tops but still got infected while barebacking.

I meant to remind you earlier - you would be wise to test for the other, more easily transmitted infections like gonorrhea. You can test for most of these ten days to two weeks after the encounter - or sooner if you develop a discharge or any type of sore on your penis. Remember, just like hiv, many of the other STIs often have no obvious symptoms.

As far as hiv goes, I still totally expect you to come out of this ok. Please, don't let it happen again - don't tempt fate. Remember to let anyone you're with know you don't bareback. If they ask "why, you got something?" tell them "no, and that's WHY." Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline anxiousinchi

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Worried and Anxious
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2008, 03:40:04 PM »
Hi.  Just an update.  I did a 5 week test and came out negative.  YAY!!  I know I still need to get tested again but the counselor acted like I should be ok due to my situation.  Thanks again for your support and knowledge.  I will do another test at 3 months and learn a lesson from this situation.

 


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