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Author Topic: I'm a date rapist  (Read 2866 times)

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Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
I'm a date rapist
« on: July 27, 2006, 02:06:03 AM »
Not! But I was essentially accused of being one recently.

Short version of the story: A guy, roughly my age, contacted me through poz.com since he was passing through the small town in which I live. We agreed to meet for lunch, with no presumption of sex on either side. Lunch was pleasant, conversation was good; we had a good laugh over the fact that my hand was broken and that he has a slight limp because of recent surgery on his ankle. "What a pair of gimps!"

Conversation continues for several more hours, much of it about HIV-related stuff. (Yet another person who couldn't remember exactly what his med combo was, or his numbers.) We go out for early drinks, slice of pizza, then split another bottle of cheap wine. He's too drunk to drive and asks if he can crash at my place. Sure. No sex on my mind, not because I'm asexual but because he'd been salivating over pictures of football players and rugger buggers earlier, on outsports.com I think; I don't fit into the over 220 pound category.

Anyway, we get home, I start getting the couch ready. He sees my bottle of Vicodin (this was just two weeks after my wrist fracture, so I was given it for some pretty excruciating pain), picks up the bottle and says can he take one. I say, hmmm, probably not a good idea with booze, but if you want to, go ahead. He takes two, not one, and pretty soon passes out. Predictably. On my bed. I'm exhausted and follow suit, sleeping soundly.

Next morning, he wakes up, throws up, says he feels like shit, sleeps some more, then says thank you, and leaves. Later that day I get two emails from him. In one he says: "If you wanted to use me and humiliate me, couldn't you have given me a drug that wouldn't have me throw up the next day?" In another: "I resent being made to feel like I'm someone's sexual toy. But I guess I'll never know what you did to me last night."

WTF?! I'm in shock at this point. And then very upset. I may have erred in letting him take the Vicodin, but that was it. I try to call his cell, but get voicemail.

Decided not to reply; he could have used any reply, in which I acknowledge that he did in fact take a prescription drug (with street value) that was meant for me, against me in some crazy, unpredictable way. He hasn't written any more. I certainly have no desire to initiate contact. And I sure hope that that's the end of that.

OK, that wasn't so short. One of the weirder things that's happened to me in recent times.

Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2006, 02:58:51 AM »
hey Jay,
One of lifes little adventures you can mark down to experience.
All the best to you.
Little Steve
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2006, 03:02:39 AM »
Experience indeed. File him under "U" for Unstable

Sorry you had this experience

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2006, 03:43:16 AM »
I can't imagine asking a stranger if I can have some of their prescription medication. It's vicodin, not a Tic Tac.

Good riddence I say.

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2006, 10:29:13 AM »
You didn't do anything wrong hon. I'm with GSO on this one.
You just helped crystalize my fear of ever meeting someone on the internet. HIV+ or not.
Too many nutcases out there.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2006, 11:28:00 AM »
You should be commended for not letting him drive drunk!

He sounds like a real jerk to me!

Sorry this happened to you.
Teresa

Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2006, 11:53:19 AM »
You can invite me over to your house anytime Jay! ;D

Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2006, 12:48:12 PM »
You can invite me over to your house anytime Jay! ;D

What Eric said..

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2006, 03:25:49 PM »
He sounds like a loser....be glad you're rid of him.

Hugs,

Alan

PS - did you check to make sure nothing is missing?   perhaps he helped himself to a few more pills.....
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,817
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2006, 06:06:34 PM »
It's always best to tell anyone who asks: "Sorry that is my medication prescribed for me".  If he doesn't have his own let him go to a doctor.  I guess I am a bit older now but I can't imagine letting anyone come home with me I didn't know for a while, it's too potentially dangerous. 
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline jordan

  • Member
  • Posts: 239
  • What I want is a celebration
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2006, 07:30:44 PM »
Conversation continues for several more hours, much of it about HIV-related stuff. (Yet another person who couldn't remember exactly what his med combo was, or his numbers.)



You have got to be kidding?

Also, the dude is very rude...taking two of your Vicodin when it's for you and your pain and then having the audacity to write you the next day and place blame.

some people are simply amazing.

Don't let it bother you...you're the sane one =)

Peace,
Jordan
If you think your lonely now, wait until tonight.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2006, 07:39:17 PM »
People suck.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,251
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2006, 08:30:36 PM »
I'm with Eric and Dan!

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2006, 10:41:37 PM »
OMG!  What a jerk!   :o
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline swede_dish

  • Member
  • Posts: 682
  • I feel like an angel baby wrapped in a candy cloud
    • My blog
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2006, 12:07:36 AM »
what a turd
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,382
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #15 on: July 28, 2006, 10:06:43 AM »
Hey Jay,

This guy is a real loser and, from the sound of it, a space cadet.

HUGS,

Mark

(Note to self: never, ever, date on the internet.)
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Consumed

  • Member
  • Posts: 73
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #16 on: July 28, 2006, 11:50:38 AM »

You probably should have said     "Shit, I wish I would have thought of that!"

and be glad he just went on his way.
LYS

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #17 on: July 28, 2006, 08:14:42 PM »
Thanks, guys. He's loony alright. I guess what freaked me out was that he seemed so "normal" earlier. (Sings Chuck Berry: "C'est la vie, say the old folks," -- that would be me -- "it goes to show you never can tell.")

Eric, Dan, Basquo -- you're welcome anytime! And I promise to visit Aspen and Jackson and Austin too.  ;D

Jay
« Last Edit: July 28, 2006, 09:05:40 PM by lydgate »
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline joyluckclub

  • Member
  • Posts: 136
Re: I'm a date rapist
« Reply #18 on: July 29, 2006, 02:04:36 AM »
Hey!

Sorry that happened to you.  He was WAAAAAAYYYY out of line.

You just never know with people.


Cory
"Honey, be who you is"  Madea.........

 


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