Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 30, 2014, 12:44:37 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632337
  • Total Topics: 47883
  • Online Today: 209
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple  (Read 7615 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« on: July 29, 2008, 12:11:19 PM »
hello guys!
i am not sure where to post, since there is someone i care about has hiv and in the same time i am on PEP right now and wonder...

i am the (hopefully still and remaining) negative partner of a sero discordant relationship. reading since months here, almost as long since my boyfriend got infected. the forum with all the info provided helped us both a lot to get through this difficult time since his diagnosis in january 2008. i had 2 negative antibody tests during the last 7 months, 1 in january and the last one 4 weeks ago, which was one of those home tests, where you use a drop of blood. we always have done everything as safe as possible, vaginal sex only with condoms, had never any broken condom.

until this last weekend. we had a condom slipping off while having sex, he immidiately noticed and pulled out, but if that was after 2 or 10 sec or less or more, hard to say by now, but very short. he didnt come either but has quite much precum, most of it, as i can only guess, was still in the "lost" condom when i "found" it. we were in shock for about an hour, since this was one of the bad scenarios we were talking about, when discussing saftey and our feelings about it. anyway, after an hour he called his doctor (in the middle of the night) who said he wouldnt suggest PEP here since it sounded a very low risk incident, but kept it up to me and would understand if i would want it. what i did, so this amazing doc came over in less than 2 hours after it happened and brought the pills. which i am on since. i was at the docs office yesterday to get some blood drawn, and also changed the drugs used for PEP to better tolerable ones, since that night he had just grabbed what was in the office.

my boyfriend is not on meds and had his last check just a couple of days before it happened, his viral load was around 8000 then.

even after everything the doc and the people there said, like they wouldnt really have suggested it in the first place, but admitted they would probably have done the same if they were me, i still cant help being afraid, though i try to be as reasonable as possible. but in some moments i am far from that and rather panicking.

this year has been very hard for us, with waiting times for bad news, first for my boyfriend and the diagnosis, then for my test (though good news back then), but in january i also was pregnant and had a miss carriage, which then felt like our last lost chance of getting a child the natural way (conceived before infection). big emotional ups and downs. now things had gotten much better and we got more used to everything. but now this happened and i just couldnt stand the thought nor have the strength of doing nothing about it and only hoping for the best.

so one reason writing here is to ask for your experienced opinions and the other (probably bigger) reason is we have no one really told anything (my parents know about his infection and dealing great with it but i cant put every single thought i have on them either).
i often feel isolated with "our problem". we 2 talk a lot about it, but that can feel like a bubble from time to time as well. i do respect and also understand my boyfriends wish to not disclose to anyone else right now, but that doesnt mean its always easy.

in general i am happy that he feels well, that his numbers are good, that he found a good doc...just sometimes, like right now, my fear and sadness about the situation kicks in again and all of a sudden it seems so much to handle in a relationship.

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2008, 01:44:16 PM »
Dear onepart,

Wow, what though days for you!

I hope everything will go well!

As per your story, PEP seems to be a good idea. The risk could be little, your friend has a not too high viral load and there was not a complete ejaculation, and the semen did not stay inside the vagina. But if you have the opportunity to use PEP, I think it has been a good point to do it.

In addition to antibody tests, I assume doctors had also tested for P24 antigen (a viral protein detectable during the very first few weeks after infection) -some modern lab analitics test for both, antibodies and P24, at the same time. Searching for P24 could permit to detect an infection prior to the production of antibodies. But, if all results have been negative until now, the most proable is that you are still negative.

In the future, when your companion starts to take meds, and viral load becomes indetectable (less than 50), the risk of transmission in case of a condon accident like this will be much lesser.

Living with HIV is not easy. Meds generally work very well, and you can carry on, like an old glory fallen in a certain kind of very attractive decadence, you know, like those old actresses and big ladies that lost part of their fortune but keep being absolutely strong, unique and divine ;).

The most difficult is not in the body, but inside the head and the hart. There will be good days and bad days and, for sure, the way of measuring things, what is important and what is not changes, and that changes us. No need it to be a dramatical or fast change, but it takes place step by step.

This will also change some people around you, some ones could be less near from now, and some other could approach more than you ever imagined. And there will be new people in your lives, new things, new opportunities.

Life itself may will be as harder or as easier as it would have been anyway, but it will be for sure, another life.

It is important to get support, to talk to other people you can trust in, and to decide to keep on the road your projects and your live, you are still able to choose, assume, expect, dare, change of opinion... and you will be for the rest of your life.

Un abrazote! (big big hugs!!!)
love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2008, 08:23:29 AM »
dear alberche!
thank you so much for your nice words! i am still on pep for some more days, luckily with no side effects so far, just a little dizziness for the first few days, which disappeared quickly. that makes this time easier.
you are absolutely right, the important is in the head and heart. thats, what counts. i also trust that the meds are very good (and there will probably come even better ones in the future) and that as soon as my boyfriend will start taking them, things will be easier in terms of fear for both of us. but first this here has to go well...
we both had felt a lot more comfortable and exactly then it happened. he wants to start meds earlier than he would probably need to for 2 reasons, one is trying for a baby at some point later, the other is our fear of transmission. though i have mixed feelings about that, because he would start on very good numbers and i am a little afraid hes getting bad side effects or the meds will do something else bad to him when hes taking them without yet needing to. on the other hand, letting the virus do what it wants is not the greatest thing either. and i know it would decrease our fear and make things more relaxed. so that will probably happen in the near future.
disclosure has been another issue, he recently has finally told his family. they took it as good as a family can take it, but it felt strange for both of us, some sadness kicked in by it. probably by making someone else sad and just simply by having it on the table for the first time in months with someone who didnt know. i just learned that this is definately something he has to decide when and whom and that there is no rush needed. it feels different having more people knowing it and maybe it is actually still a little early. i dont know for sure.
thanks again for your supporting words and big hugs back!

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2008, 07:03:10 PM »
Dear onepart,

I've been out for some weeks and just today I saw your post. How are you doing? any news?

Hugs :-)
love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2008, 06:35:41 AM »
hey dear alberche!
i am doing fine so far, i had an antibody test after i completed the PEP which came back negative, but that was only 4 1/2 weeks after the incident. i will have to do at least one more in a couple of weeks, but the doc said if i would have gotten infected, it would be worth publishing and/or he would loose his trust in medicine. he seems very confident that under all the circumstances (short exposure, PEP started after 2 hours) nothing had happened. but each time it is quite hard to do the test, to wait and to go back to the doctors office. but nothing much to do about it either. so for now whats mostly left is the anxiety that it could happen again. but we have to overcome that and i know itll be better as soon as he starts meds, which will be in some months.
i hope you are doing fine and maybe had some summer holidays?
hugs

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2008, 04:45:19 PM »
Dear onepart,

I'm glad to hear that, I hope and wish you'll be negative!!!!

If you need to talk or have any doubts, me or anyone here in the forums will be glad to help you if possible.

Try to get in contact with some other people, and share your story and your feelings... that helps a lot in certain moments.

Take care!!!

Hugs!
love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,399
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2008, 07:13:59 PM »
Dear One,

I'm glad to read that you jumped on things right away and started PEP very quickly.

Taking into consideration that this was a single incident, without ejaculation, your partner's low VL and how brief the incident was, it all seems to me make the odds way in your against transmission having occured.

Meanwhile until you get the all-clear that I hope and expect, we'll keep everything crossed for you.

Big cheers,   
Andy Velez

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2008, 05:21:51 PM »
dear andy and alberche!
thank you both for your supporting words and the crossed everythings! still waiting for the next test (well i do other things as well in the mean time) i recently had a common cold, one with cough and runny nose, without fever. and even though i know the whole thing about symptoms - also knowing that this had nothing to do with what my boyfriend experienced back in january, when he was very sick for some weeks with a high fever - and knowing that its actually possible to get normal colds these days, it is frightening somehow. i had thought about that earlier, like will i ever be "allowed" to have a cold without starting to worry immediately that something might have went wrong in bed?

its the same for us both, reading and knowing quite a bit after all these months it doesnt always prevent us from getting scared when i tell i have a headache 2 days in a row. i hope thats going to be better one day...i think it will.

hugs


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2008, 07:30:45 PM »
One,

Sometimes a cold is just a cold. Most of the time, in fact. I've got a cold right now myself and it's nothing to do with being poz. It's just that time of year.

Chances are you're going to be just fine. Really.

When do you get your confirmatory test? I'm willing to bet it will be neg.

Hang in there!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #9 on: September 24, 2008, 08:24:52 AM »
thanks ann!
in about 2 weeks i will get another test done, which would be then 6 weeks after finishing PEP, or should i wait longer? the doc said something like 4 weeks after PEP...

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2008, 08:42:26 AM »
One,

A test six weeks after PEP will be an excellent indicator. If the six week one is negative, you'll need to confirm at three months, but another negative result at that time is pretty much a slam-dunk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Lucifer

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2008, 04:39:12 PM »
Hi onepart

Hope that you are ok.  Sorry I've not replied to your thread earlier but I've not really checked into the forums properly for a while.

I can understand completely how you have felt over the last couple of months.  My partner is positive, I'm negative, and we've been together just under a year.  In that time I've ended up on PEP twice.  Now, that must sound as if we are complete idiots, but we're not, I promise you.  We are probably two of the most careful and over cautious people there are, we've just had bad luck. 

The first time was a torn condom which we noticed before he ejaculated.  Luckily my partner usually has very little, sometimes none, pre-cum, and currently has an undetectable viral load.  I spent New Year's Eve at the clinic getting jabbed with needles and obtaining my PEP prescription.  Although the Dr believed that I was at very little risk, they decided it best to put me onto a course of PEP.

The second time we suffered a 'lost' condom, unfortunately after he had come, the majority of which had escaped from the aforementioned 'lost' condom, which was ultimately 'found'.  Unfortunately being a weekend, the clinic was closed and I ended up in A&E to be put straight back onto PEP. Thankfully I was given a fantastic Dr in A&E who bent over backwards to help me and I believe she actually put her career on the line slightly to prescribe me the PEP without the clinic's authority (well, they were closed, what more could she do?!).  I have to admit, I cannot talk more highly about that Dr... I was in the waiting area less than 5 mins before being seen (having explained the situation in private to the receptionist) and was out of there with a full prescription within less than half an hour, sent off with a huge hug and my other half being told in no uncertain terms to look after me well! He couldn't have sung her praises more highly afterward either.

I've just had my second post-PEP 3 month negative result!  And I am more than sure that you will be fine too! 

Chin up and let us know how things go.  And if you ever need someone to sound off at, I'm always here!

Luci

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2008, 01:01:21 PM »
hey luci,
great to hear you got your negative result after the second PEP!
i have had this thought as well, what if it just happens again right away, just for the "are we idiots?" - things happen twice reason.. but rather taking PEP twice than changing one's hiv-status of course.

is your partner on meds? thats what i understand as you say he has currently an undetectable vl. as i understood my partners doc, he wouldn't have prescribed PEP if my boyfriend had been undetectable, since the risk would be so minimal... i also know the statement of that swiss study about transmission risk and undetectable vl but still wonder a little. i am talking about the future, when my bf would take meds, because it feels that might be the only way to put my fears (and my bf's) a bit more to rest.

we've been together 4 years before he got infected, and there is a "before and after" in our relation ship which sometimes can make me very sad. not that our relationship really suffered in general, its actually the opposite, but in some situations, when theres too much anxciety and too little easiness about sex, it makes me sad because i feel we've lost something.
but other than that things are going fine and i am not worrying too much right now, and i will post the result of my second post-PEP test...

all my best

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2008, 03:12:29 PM »
Dear One,

As Ann says, a cold is very common at this period of the year. Don't be afraid and try not getting more load of stress.

You've been doing well until now and, as per what you have told to us, the higher probability is up for you to be negative so far.

In the future, when your companion is under medication, with an undetectable VL, the risk of infection will be much lesser if an accident happens again. That said, it will be still necessary to stick to safer sex.

My partner is neg, and I am poz. I also was neg when we met many years ago, so I understand what you mean about the impact of all this in a relationship. Fortunately, we could manage to sort out of the bad moments and now we are very well and confident with each other.

We haven't talked a lot about it or about what we were before and now, simply we agreed to live this situation with no fear or regret at all. The only difference we have permitted HIV to put in our lives is that now we care much more of the other than before. Safer sex could also be funny, it is simply a matter of learning again.

Big hugs!!!

 :D



love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline onepart

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2008, 09:09:44 AM »
hello again,
now the follow up, i had a confirmatory test done today: negative! i am very relieved. things are calming down.
many greetings!
one


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #15 on: November 17, 2008, 10:49:21 AM »
Good news, One! Thanks for the update.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Brave_newgirl

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2008, 02:39:51 AM »
Hello everyone- I too am on PEP right now well at least I was til Monday night when I got a horrible reaction to the Medication I was put on.(Kaletra and Truvada) My husband and I have been together for 8 years and during that time we have had close calls but for some reason this time around I was more scared and decided to rush to the ER ( despite no insurance) 24 hrs after exposure I was hesitant because the no insurance thing leaves you confused as to where  you can get help. I got to say that I feel like I am finally somewhere were others can understand me. I fell in love with someone who had AIDS years ago and back then I was scared but I always knew that my heart couldn't be wrong about this person. I am glad I've stayed in the relationship but over the years I have struggled with the burden that " Onepart" describes of carrying the grief of uncertainty that this virus brings to our lives.
I don't know if many who go on PEP have as terrible time as I have had with the treatment but since I don't have health coverage finding support has been difficult. And the side effects debilitating  I know I should continue the meds ( took them faithfully for almost 10 days till the Hives overwhelmed me.)
I think living with someone who had this virus had made me more appreciative of the time we share as his mortality is always looming in my mind and sometimes I get lost in despair especially because a I feel like the only Heterosexual Serodiscordant couple in all of So cal.
 I feel scared right now to go back on the meds because of the side effects and the possibility that I may end up in the ER again ( a cost I can't afford) but I've decided to "suck-it-up" and continue taking the Truvada until my husband can get me the alternative med from his pharmacy to replace the Kaletra which is the medication the doc's think caused the rash. I am not excited infact at times I feel like I am going to lose it. When I consider my exposure (Vaginal intercourse) my husbands viral load while not undetectable I've been told is pretty good 3700. T-cells 541. And my percentage of infection is something like 1% According to a stastic I found the only math I didn't find online was what happens to those who cannot complete PEP due to side effects what happens to them? I don't know I am dreading my dosage..infact I am fearful of it..  I am also worried that because I stopped the med's for 2-days ( I was adviced by the pharmacist to do so) that PEP may not work for me anymore or the fact that I started it 24 hrs after exposure. I had a similar experience as "Onepart" when the condom slipped off and at the time I think my husband had a very low viral load count something like 150 or under 200 and my results came back negative. that was 3 years ago. Prior to that we had a similar experience 4 years earlier with the same result. I've even had incidents where I accidentally got his blood on me and was totally fine so I guess...know I am worried that my" lucky breaks" are coming to an end. Hence the PEP... A lot of the things I've read here give me hope but I guess I am tired of just hoping and praying and well...I just hope I am strong enough to complete the 28-days of hell. I wish I could feel like I would be find if I stopped now after 10 days but I feel in the back of my head that if I stop know and I do become POZ I will be mad at myself for not doing everything within my power to prevent it.  I hope that you will all cheer for me as I force myself back on the treatment. BTW I know I should probably not complain as most people don't get their meds free like I did but then again where is the cure going to get here? We are so tired of waiting!
Thanks for listening to my rant.
 :-\
« Last Edit: December 11, 2008, 03:23:38 AM by Brave_newgirl »

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2009, 04:41:48 PM »
hello again,
now the follow up, i had a confirmatory test done today: negative! i am very relieved. things are calming down.
many greetings!
one



Dear one, that is  big very high superb marvelous news!!!!!
love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

Offline alberche

  • Member
  • Posts: 212
  • a distancia del mundo incierto, saludo mi suerte
Re: on PEP right now...serodiscordant couple
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2009, 04:50:29 PM »
Dear Brave,

It is very important to make complet the treatment cycle of PEP. This will help a lot to reduce to the minimal the probability of infection for you.

Rashes are common when taking meds for the first days or weeks. Usually they're mild and tend to diminish or can be treated with some antiallergic meds. Only if this approach does not work and you start to feel pain in joints, weakness, headache and dizziness is when it could be better to stop meds for preventing a severy allergic reaction that could be even lifethreatening if not managed on time.

Some meds tend to be more inductive of these reactions than others. So your doctor could have tried to change your PEP combo.

Try to find another health care service or ask for some help and support to a charity or NGO in your area as soon as possible. Look for help, do not stand this all alone.

Big hugs!

love is blindness...  a wonderful song!

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.