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Author Topic: cunnlingus - please advise  (Read 8777 times)

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Offline axio

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cunnlingus - please advise
« on: July 27, 2008, 05:38:24 AM »
Few months back I had a possible exposure with a woman of unknown status. The whole act was very fleeting. I did cunnlingus, with her in standing position for about a minute. Not very deep but lots of fluid involved. I know she was in her ovulation / end of cycle at the time as she complained of tenderness in body and I asked why and she said its like that a few days before her cycle. I had been speaking all day nonstop (I am a speaker by profession) and my mouth was quite sore but there we no cuts or bleeding as such. It is probable that my mouth may have had minor abrasions - I am on aspirin daily which inhibits clotting.

Actually at the time I dint think I had put myself at risk but lately when I was in touch with her, she mentioned that she has been unwell for a while and in bed with some kind of infection and docs dint know what was wrong with her. That just freaked me out. I keep coming up with scare scenarios in my mind if she is positive (which seems very probable though I donít know for sure).

I have been through the forums and lessons in this site and transmission does seem very improbable.  Still I have a fear  whether I was exposed to the cervico-vaginal fluids which flows out more at the time of ovulation - compounded with a sore mouth without clotting. I havenít had any major sicknesses but I had an episode of pimples which is surprising as I never had pimples in my youth. The lymph nodes on both sides of my neck are also enlarged for no particular reason - no cold or flu.

Assuming she is positive, is testing warranted in this case?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2008, 06:00:44 AM »
You were never at risk in the situation you've provided.

Offline Ann

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2008, 06:53:24 AM »
axio,

Going down on a woman is NOT a risk for hiv infection. That's right, even if she is hiv positive. There's NO RISK in licking pussy.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple. Read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axio

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2008, 10:39:03 AM »
Thanks Ann and Rapid for your evaluation. Ann - the condom and lube sites were very informative.
I was tested about a year ago (mandatory testing before procedure).  I have had only one other casual experience Ė received oral and did some frottage. In fact thatís my complete straying history for the last 5 years. I donít think I will test for this as the possibility does seem far fetched based on your analysis and the info in the site. The nodes must be due to my poking and the pimples could be stress I guess. My friend is still sick though and docs still have no idea what it is. I hope she gets well soon.

Thanks Again

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2008, 02:30:58 AM »
Forgive me for being back so soon. I understand about the cunnilingus but Iím not totally free from worry. The second exposure was with another lady - high risk - about 2 months ago she did fellatio for me and there was some frottage and rubbing. During the frottage I may have entered her unknowingly a bit. While rubbing against her from the back I realized that I was a little inside her vagina lips - less than an inch I guess and for just a second. When I realized this, I immediately stopped myself. Though i cant be sure about exactly how deep it went, she was quite tight when I fingered her so I think I could not have entered her deep.

My pimples continue unabated - some days I get two or three and I had some minor skin issues - tinea, also I have low grade fever (99.5) for the past few days. I have lost some weight too. I just discovered I got a wart on the side of my scrotum . This could have happened from frottage and oral. I am going to see a doc about this and to check for other STI's. Should I be checking for HIV too?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2008, 02:34:49 AM »
Had you penetrated her you would know. Nothing you have brought to the forum put you at risk for contracting HIV.

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2008, 03:32:17 AM »
I felt myself at the entrance of and a little inside her vagina when I stopped myself. This means there was a little penetration. Itís not very easy to judge how much considering the angle - I was pressing against her from the back spoon fashion. I couldnít have entered her deep - if I entered her all the way I definitely would know - but there was a little entry very briefly. Would such a brief entry put me at risk?

Offline Ann

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2008, 04:49:02 AM »
axio,

If you're in doubt of your hiv status, go test at the appropriate time. As a sexually active adult you should be testing at least once a year anyway. Considering what you've brought to the forum, I would not expect your result to be anything other than negative.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2008, 09:10:47 AM »
Thank you. I will get completely tested though like most of the others on the forum, other infections are not that worrisome. I did not have unprotected intercourse. It just slipped in a bit partially for a second. I am just hoping itís true that HIV is more difficult to transmit from women to men.

Offline Ann

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2008, 09:46:48 AM »
Axio,

Hiv IS more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man and provided this is your only unprotected experience of intercourse - or near intercourse - I fully expect you to test hiv negative. The other, more easily transmitted infections are another matter and to say they're "not that worrisome" is not exactly true. Chlamydia, for example, is one of the leading causes of infertility. However, this is an hiv website, not a general STI website, so that's all I'll say on that matter.

I fully expect you to test hiv negative. Make sure you get a full STI panel done to rule out other infections as well.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2008, 10:16:13 AM »
The reason of worry over is not just physical, being married there is an aspect of guilt too. I have never had STI's till this exposure and have had a pretty safe sexual life so far. I have not been having sex with by wife since this exposure as my work involves a lot of travel so I couldnít have given her any STI.

Though I may appear to be in control, I am literally cracking up - shaking with fear and have been crying. Your kind words and the support of others on the site make a big difference. Thank you again for your help and advice. I will get completely tested for everything.

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2008, 06:42:59 AM »
I got my blood drawn at a local diagnostic center. They told me to come back in four hours for the result. They are checking for ELISA, VDRL and some other test for Hep B. Hope its negative. Will do the other tests after seeing a doc. Havenít eaten all day and still running a light temp. Iím keeping my fingers crossed hoping and praying that the statisticians are right.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2008, 07:58:01 AM »
I expect you will come out of this one ok. You do need to learn from this experience. Should be inclined to stray again, even though at this moment you are very upset and may not imagine that could be possible, just make sure you keep condoms handy and use them so you don't have to relive this torture again.

As for the guilt, well you're a dawg like a lot of us. You can't undo this bit of your history. The most loving thing you can do for all concerned is to take a breath, let it go and get on with your life after you receive the negative result I expect you to get.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2008, 08:04:34 AM »
Thank you Andy for your kind words. I am just stepping out to collect my results.
For my sake and the sake of all my loved ones I do hope you are right.

Offline axio

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #14 on: August 16, 2008, 02:26:02 PM »
Results collected.

HIV I and II : Negative
V.D.R.L : Non Reactive
Hbs Ag : Negative

Yippee. I'm ok :)
Thank you Ann, Rapid and Andy for your support, and for the advice.

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2008, 09:41:38 AM »
One last question about my test results. My second exposure was on 3rd May after which I have not had sex even with my wife and I was tested on 16 August. Thatís about 15 weeks - negative. Given that this was a relatively low risk exposure of barely a second, do I need to test again at 6 months?

As I mentioned earlier, I am on medication (clavix) for a heart condition which reduce platelets in the blood. I read somewhere that depleted platelets could result in less antibodies produced by the body to any virus attack. Could my medication and platelet count delay/extend the window period ?. Do you think I need to test again before I resume normal relationship with my wife ?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2008, 09:56:40 AM »
You have absolutely reliably tested negative for HIV. You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

There is no need for re-testing at 6 months and  yes, you can resume intimate sexual relations with your wife.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline axio

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2008, 03:20:58 AM »
I was worried after I saw a post here by prettysure who tested positive after 13 weeks. This made me think about the possibility. I guess itís about time I quit browsing and worrying about this and moved on.
Thanks again.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2008, 07:59:32 AM »
axio,

Chances are GREAT that prettysure had a false positive. After all, she's not been back since making that claim.

You ARE hiv negative. You never had a real risk in the first place. Now get on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axio

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  • Posts: 14
Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #19 on: November 25, 2008, 01:58:54 AM »
Sorry to be back with another query. I just realized that I am on an Anti Rejection drug (sirolimus) as I have 2 medicated stents implanted in me for the heart procedure a year ago. I tested negative at 3 and 4 months. I also tested myself for Hep B and C and VDRL. All negative. I realize that my exposure was quite low with brief partial entry mostly like frottage and oral. Do you think I should test again at 6 months?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #20 on: November 25, 2008, 05:04:57 AM »
As you were advise before you didn't need the first test let alone any further testing.

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #21 on: January 24, 2009, 03:03:40 AM »
At the risk of being banned / warned, please let me ask a final question to the experts. Itís been about 6 months now since my possible exposure. My pimples continue unabated, sometimes at the rate of 2 or 3 new ones a day and those has been going on for several months now. I have a permanent cold that doesnít seem to go away and occasionally I get some involuntary muscle twitching, tics and tremors and a few times pins n needles on my feet.

I have medicated (anti rejection drug) stents implanted in my heart Ė a year or so ago but info on the drug specifies only one month of medication content of insignificant quantity entering bloodstream  and that was 6 moths before my exposure.

My risk seems pretty low - frottage front and back - I pushed against the anus - no entry and against the vagina - a little in the vagina lips I guess but no penetration. Given the fact that I have tested negative at 3 and 4 months, is further testing warranted at 6 months - whatever the risk factor and symptoms?

Thanks again - for listening to me and sorry for repeatedly posting.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #22 on: January 24, 2009, 05:59:27 AM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: cunnlingus - please advise
« Reply #23 on: January 24, 2009, 06:12:16 AM »
axio,

Test again if you like, but don't expect different results. As you've been told repeatedly, you weren't at risk.

As there was NO RISK, it doesn't matter about what meds may be in your body. You can't have delayed seroconversion from something you were NEVER at risk of contracting in the first place.

You don't have hiv.

Get it?

Good, because if you keep coming back with this same situation, you WILL be timed out.

Please consider yourself warned for the last time.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline axio

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Re: please advise on risky frottage
« Reply #24 on: January 24, 2009, 09:22:36 PM »
Sorry. I guess I needed that warning. Thanks Ann Rod Andy for you help. My problems could be due to the meds I have for my heart I guess.
Wonít post again

 


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