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Author Topic: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain  (Read 27757 times)

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Offline Dragonette

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Hey gang,

It took me ages to read what I missed in the past days. Welcome to Sunshine & Tatenda!

Glad you got your period Andrea and that you're setting things right in the men dept.

Wendy im very glad you keep feeling better. I dont even understand why your son was prosecuted for lithium. it wouldnt do anything, not high-wise not treatment-wise, it'd be like taking a couple doses of haart for us, i mean it must be taken daily and regularly otherwise its completely useless. i dont even think its harmful to someone who doesnt need it, its just a salt. might give some shakes though, i know i used to take it - once upon a time i was (mis)diagnosed with pretty much every mental problem in the book and there arent many psychiatric medicine i havent tried. it sounds like he is a bit like i was, too stoned and getting mixed up with himself. i found that i cannot tolerate weed, not everyone can.

Netta sorry about the cholesterol but good youre doing something about it. you can still eat eggs but not the yolk, i think, and there's low fat mayo, there're a lot of options. im almost drooling here i love that stuff.

Snow thats a lot of scraping... youre pretty persistant. I would have probably left the job unfinished or cursed the whole way through...

Betty maybe you should tell Liz that she cannot do that if she wants to be with you, not as an ultimatum, but, I mean, if youre dating an recovering alcoholic you wouldnt have liquer in the house, same for this it would just tempt both of you. you should be careful. but it sounds like there's a lot of potential btw you 2 and if things worked out, well maybe that would be a nice cure for anxiety, i know i take the odd pill once in a while but it really is every couple of months, most of the time i use other techniques to calm down. and the more she will take the more she will need it. been there too... i really keep my fingers crossed for the 2 of you.

Jamie, i love your name. I'm sorry you miss your kids so much. Maybe you should do something about it. I have been crying cos I miss my parents so much, I kind of supress it when I'm in the netherlands living daily life, but whenever Im seeing them each time every few months and noticing how quickly they age just breaks me. i feel so guilty and responsible but even more than that like physically torn up over not being near them. If its like that for parents i cant imagine how it would be for kids. Been on my mind since you mentioned a while back that he wants them for a year. I hope you will find the peace if you decide to do that. I know life throws very complicated things and people have to let go of their loved ones for a while or longer Im just hoping you can either reconcile yourself or stop this suffering and get them.

Queen, Im very glad for you and your son. Its f***ed up how a landlord can mess up and then screw with his tenant's rights to move on. What a hassle. It will be for the best but what a pain in the butt.

Mom, hope you feel better. You are taking a lot of meds for a long time. I think you need to get to the bottom of this. It made me laugh thinking of the poor kids hauling rocks to get them tired.

Greetings from the steamy middle east (although apparently far less steamy than the summer many of you are having).
I'm writing from my parents home, actually where I grew up but think of it as theirs. it's 04:10, can't really sleep, and its the 3rd night in a row its been like that. I came here a couple nights ago on a night flight so arrived at 0400 and that threw my sleep patterns completely off, what with getting my period as well. I was actually hunting for a tranquilizer the other night but I didnt find anything except herbal ones.

My BF has been arranging everything for the wedding celebration back in spain dealing with all the little details, I will be a guest in my own wedding. But tomorrow I must call gibraltar and set up the civil ceremony, they keep making a fuss about my residence permit, and I dont know why b/c it has nothing to do with marriage.

I went to sew a dress, I couldnt have an opinion about anything so I just decided to trsut the dressmaker and I chose some fabrics and left her to it. The good thing its being fitted on my body. Right next to the dress maker's place (she works from home) is a horse ranch, its in a small village near my hometown which is really gorgeous, like how this country was supposed to be before it was sold out to developers. So today i had my first lesson riding! and what do you know I just had to have the Brad Pitt lookalike (but even much better looking) instructing me on the horse and distracting me so much I forgot to be afraid and ended up guiding the horse independently, I learned to make her go and stop and turn and then we did some turns around some obstacles. I mean really slowly I am sure the poor horse was bored to death, but for me it was amazing. This is never something I thought Id do but I have too more appointments with the guy next week. And he told me that I will get married on the day his mom died, which of course, does not help the state of mind I am in. Im really going nuts over this. Not that I dont think about it every day and many nights - I dont mention it often  simply b/c I cant write about the same issue over and over but its piercing me right thru the heart at the moment.

sorry for the somewhat moody heading you guys are welcome to change it and i will write something else, thats what i can think of right now.

hugs to all of you and Cindy, Cristy, Jshort, Veritee, Tendai ( ??? hope everything's OK - I think it's har last weekend off and then she goes back to work :-*), Mahalia, Latifah, Camms, Keeping, and anyone I may have temprarily missed somehow when reading the pervious thread, I had to do it quickly.
« Last Edit: July 17, 2008, 09:23:58 PM by Dragonette »
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2008, 10:05:08 PM »
Drag, it's a wonderful title.  Seems like the wedding plans are flying.  Just don't forget to enjoy it.  As far as meds, I'm only on Zertec 1x/day and I have a rescue inhaler that I use if / when I need it.  It gets worse when it's humid outside. 

Betty, the room isn't done, just all the prep work.  But, compared to all the sanding, painting will be the easy part.  We're going to get it done tomorrow so that it can "cure" for 24hrs before the boys move back in Saturday.  We won't have the baseboards done, but we can move beds and nail them back when they're finished.  The door won't be done, either, but again, they can move back in before it gets done.  We bought all the paint today and I'm excited about the colors.  Thanks for the compliment about the avvy.  I'm not sure when the picture was taken, but it wasnt' that long ago because the dress is new..lol.

We spent the day at #6's appointments.  The eye specialist was happy with her progress and decided that we didn't need to patch her "good" eye.  Her left eye still wonders to the outside, but is doing better since she's gotten her glasses.  He's still not sure why her perifreal vision in her right eye is so whacky, but there's nothing we can do about it.  We'll go back in January.  She cooperated for her hearing tests, but she was inconsistant.  So, the audiologist wouldn't do her earmolds for her aides.  We go back August 4th (in 3wks) and try again.  I told the audiologist that it would be her last test.  After that, a decision will be made.  I'm not going to keep "testing" and not "doing". 

It's been miserably hot and dry this week with nothing better in the foreseeable (boy that's a lot of vowels) future.  I love the sun, but I HATE the heat.  Alrighty, we got season 2 of MacGyver, so you all know who I'll be dreaming about tonight ;D.

Lots of love to all of you!
 :-*Mum
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www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Snowangel

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2008, 10:17:40 PM »
Drag- Nice to see you!  Horseback riding is a lot of fun, not that I have done it in a long while. I am all fucked up right now so I am not sure what you mean about the issue with your wedding date.  I think I would do the same thing as far as the dress goes.

I told my SO to leave last night.  To make a long story short, he put his hands on me and I can't and won't tolerate that from anyone ever again.  Not to mention the fact that he hardly contributes financially around here, doesn't spend anytime with the family, acts like an ass when he does.  For some reason I get the feeling that he thinks I owe him something or I should be grateful he was even around?  That could not be farther from the truth. If I am going to do it all alone anyway, I mights well be alone.  I feel like a stupid idiot for giving him so many chances and taking so much bullshit.  I thought I was doing the right thing for the little ones but it was the exact opposite.  This happened around midnight last night and he was still packing his shit around 1:30 so I told him he had 15 mins.  After the 15 mins were up and I said something he said I could call the cops so I did.  WTF?  The kids were still up, wondering what the hell was going on and he would have stayed forever because his material possessions are what is the most important to him.  I see that now.  Things will be tough but I will survive this too. I hope I get my appetite back, I haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon.

I can't really remember much from the other thread but I loved your pics Wendy.
Mum- that lady with 8 kids pisses me off. I have basically been alone with my 3lets and my oldest since day one, and she has no idea how good she has it.
Betty- I hope your stopping smoking goes well this time.
I hope everyone is doing well.  

Oh I spoke to my oldest sons father soon to be ex today to read her the letter he had sent me and it was a year and a half before he told her about being positive.  Piece of shit!

Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline netta

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2008, 10:28:36 PM »
Drag- what a nice title!
Wendy_ I myself am teary eyed after reading your story, I am so proud to know you, you are an inspiration to all!
Queen- I know how u feel about he moving!, get rest and don't to do to much!
SUNSHINE- glad to meet you!!! Welcome
Snow- I am sorry you are going through so much now, just remeber to protect yourself first, and we are hear for you, I have been there done that so many times!
Well ladies I love you all !
"to thine own self be true"

Offline NothingButSunshine

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2008, 11:41:19 PM »
Hey ladies, I'm here again. I might need to see a specialist about this posting addiction thing, I may have a problem. :D

*WARNING: NothingButSunshine could potentially have a harmful effect on one's eyes.*

Seriously though, I think I'm more or less starved for girl talk. I really don't have anything in common with people my age, most of them are just beginning to go through their HARDCORE partying phases, whereas, my phase began at age 16, abruptly stopped at age 19, and now I'm 24. I've suffered quite a bit of repercussions due to my naiveness, and immaturity, with one of the major repercussions being HIV.

 Although it has probably caused me to have a bit of a complex, I'd prefer to stay in my "safety bubble" if you will, to avoid any potential dangers, and most of all the drama. Life is already too short as it is for all that nonsense. So... needless to say, I'm pretty much a "stick in the mud" to those my age, and I'm supposing that those older than me, assume that I'm too immature for them. Also, I'd rather not put myself through the reactions that some could quite possibly give me, upon disclosing to them my status.

No doubt I have TONS to learn. I know everyone is different, but how do you ladies manage?

Thanks again for letting me vent. It's unbelievably refreshing. I've read tons of posts on this board, and I am in awe at how graceful, and strong you all are.  I'm a little behind, but I certainly hope to catch up.

To Queen, Dragonette, and Netta I extend a gracious hello, very nice to meet you all.  

In closing, I hope you all have a fabulous evening, and I'd like to leave you all with a beautiful quote by Nelson Mandela, maybe some of you have read/heard it? I could certainly learn a thing or two from it....

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Nelson Mandela

« Last Edit: July 17, 2008, 11:45:30 PM by NothingButSunshine »
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2008, 01:50:33 AM »
Sunshine-Where are you at? If you already said it I am sorry I am asking again... :)
Snow-I am sorry that you have to go through all that. Stay strong!

This is just a quickie...LOL! I will talk to you all tomorrow!

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2008, 07:06:55 AM »
Morning ladies,

I think Im one of the few here whose real name remains unknown, but mine is too distinct if I wrote it I would totally out myself.

Snow, I am so sorry to hear you had to do that and knowing you a bit from here I am sure it was b/c you were pushed to the limit. you are a strong beautiful woman and I am sure you will persevere and shine on. I mean it cos I really beleive it. (((Snow)))

Sunshine thx for the inspiring quote. I knew it but its important to remember and that is one of the truest things. I have been just like you partying hard and ruining my life from age 15-19 and I ended up doing much repentance for that. although it did not end in HIV as I had a negative test when I was 20 though sometimes I think my HIV might somehow be a souvenir from those times b/c I couldnt locate the source when I straightened out. I had to build my life from 0 get a highschool diploma and a degree but my parents helped me a lot. not at the beginning when they didnt even want me in their house (I dont blame them cos I was awful) but later on when they saw that it was for real. but it took me many many years to work thru the reprecussions of my unstable chaotic and painful adolesence and i was not even fully there when HIV hit. But, ironically, i think it was slightly easier for me to deal with hiv b/c of my past and having a rough time before, though I'll never know the other option of course.

Anyway I agree with you this thread is full of great women. Btw there are some amazingly strong resilient guys on the other forum esp the longterm survivors, thats something i cant get my head around having to live with a death sentence and seeing loved ones die. There're women here who went thru that too from that period before meds and in the early days of meds when they were not known to work. Of course and thats a whole other dimension of coping and survival instincts and dealing with loss of loved ones and just like you I am just awed and speechless at their resilience.

I feel a bit better today, painful things always are somewhat less awful in the light of day. Or maybe its the hum of life that obscures them.

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2008, 09:09:07 AM »
Morning ladies,

I can't remember everything from the other thread.

Queen, mucho luck in your move.  You'll be staying where you're at until next week?  Take care of yourself.

Drag, taking those horse-back riding lessons sounds like fun.  I've gone a couple times; I'm not an expert at it by any means.  One of the last times I went, I didn't know how to ride, and I rode going up and down, instead of back and forth.  I got saddle sores pretty awful.  Just relax about your wedding.  I know, easier said than done.  Neither of my marriages had a big wedding.  Hell, the first one was by justice of the peace.  The 2nd one was done in like a month's time (planning).  Crazy.  About Liz, her sponsor is my best friend and we've talked about Liz's dependence on bezo's (the Xanax).  Liz uses them when she doesn't need them-she's taking them 3 x a day and was only prescribed to take them twice a day.  She justifies it by saying she breaks the morning and afternoon dose in 1/2.  I'm just not going to get involved in that. 

Sunshine, thanks for the Mandela quote. I've heard it before, but it's always worth repeating.  I'm sorry about all the troubles you're having with your car and moving.  And I'm really sorry you had to give up your ferrets.  That's got to be so hard.  I'm glad you're joining in with us.

Snow, I'm so glad you got rid of that ass-wipe!  I hate men that think they have to get physical (in the bad way) with women.  They have no right in our lives.  I'm also glad you shared that with us.  I know how hard it is to end a relationship, whether or not the guy was an abuser and I applaud you.  He never would have stopped; you know that.

Mum, I don't blame you for not wanting to redo tests over and over again.  I don't know what to tell you about that room; keep it up? 

BTW Drag, I know your name. ;)  Of course, I would never mention it on here.  You're right; it is unique.

Well, sometime between last night and this morning my computer crashed.  I had like an emergency restart thing on it, but now everything's very strange.  The letters and toolbar are like an old-style computer thing.  I'm not sure what to do.  I guess I'll have to call my brother's gf, since she's the computer expert and see when she can come over and see what this is.  Maybe the program has to be reloaded on; not sure.  I'm just glad for what I have though; I really thought I was screwed.  Of course, it's still under warranty, so it could always go back to Best Buy and be worked on. 

Last night I went to a cook-out/NA meeting.  Every 3rd Thursday of the month during the summer, one of the Thursday night groups puts on a cookout.  Last night there were three speakers that spoke for 1/2 hour each-one in the 1-5 year clean range, one in the 5-10 year range, and one in the 10-15 year range (actually the guy has 18 years).  It was pretty good.  When the guy with 18 years spoke, he was mentioning being thankful for people who are still around when he first came around.  He mentioned my name and some people looked shocked.  I just wanted to tell them "yeah, I've only got 2 1/2 years right now, but I've been around for ages."  Oh well.  Alex showed up with Joe and that went alright.  We didn't talk a whole lot. 

Nothing going on today except the usual stuff.  It seemed like I had something to do, though what I can't remember.  Hopefully if it was important, it will come to me.  You ladies have a nice morning.

Edited to add:  Ok, I just went into the start menu on my computer and did the "restore" thing.  It took a little while, but the computer's back to normal.  Not sure what happened (I don't even know how I knew to do that, lol).
« Last Edit: July 18, 2008, 09:35:29 AM by Bettytacy »
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2008, 11:50:43 AM »
Good Morning!
Betty-Is hard for you to stay clean? When you around someone who does it, does it make you want to do it too? I'm just curious. I would think it would be extremely difficult...is it ok that I asked?

Well not much is going on here and I don't really have anything planned. I do want to go see a movie today...we'll see.
I still have not heard from Mr. Wonderful. I sent him a couple of emails telling him when I would be around and I even offered to mail the watch to him. He is not responding. I shouldn't be surprised because this is what he does. Ignores what he doesn't want to deal with. I am going to tell him that I am just going to get rid of it and that will be that. I will give it to Goodwill or something. He drives me CRAZY! Oh well...moving on...I have a gift card for the movie and I still want to see Sex and the City, if it is still out, and the new Batman movie. Maybe I'll see two... ;D

Talk to you alll later!
Andrea

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2008, 12:49:16 PM »
Hey Andrea, I don't want to say it's not hard at all.  When I lost both my parents in the short time span I did (Aug. of last year-Mar. of this year) there were a couple times I thought "I wish I had some booze," and "I wish I had a couple Valiums."  But, I know exactly where that will lead me-back to the depths of hell.  I mean, my last go-around ended me up in a nursing home-it can't get much lower than that.  And, I'm not around people who use drugs.  I've been around someone who's had a drink a couple times, but that hasn't bothered me.  The person isn't an addict/alcoholic, and he didn't have more than one beer. 

In short, it's not that I never think about it; but, when I do, I remember all the consequences that go along with active addiction. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2008, 07:14:30 PM »
I am SO sore!  But, except for some touch-up work that Hubby is going to take care of, the room is officially DONE!  Tomorrow we'll vacuum and dust  and move everything back in.  The boys are really excited and like the colors a lot.  I'm super happy with the way it looks.  I do have to make the curtains, but those probably won't get done until the fall.  Already making plans for the girls' room and the living room / hallway - am I glutton or what :o

Betty, you can NOT go announcing that Drag has a beautiful name and then leave it at that.  Drag, honey..shame, shame, nobody else knows your name :P

Snow, good for you kicking ex-SO to the curb.  I am worried about his son, though.  Does ex-SO have custody of him?  How are your kids handling everything?  I know things are rough for you right now, but hang in there and remember that we're here for you.

Hubby told #6 that if she would start using the potty, she could have 1 skittle each time.  She just laughed and said that mommy and daddy could eat the skittles.  I guess that's her way of telling us she has no intentions of potty training.  And now #2 just told us his butt puked..lol..I'm scared to ask what that means.  I sent him to Hubby - maybe it's a "man" thing.  I need to run and get the laundry hung out to dry and the dry laundry put away.  Oh joy!

I'll try to check in later, but if not, know that I love ya!

Mum :-*

www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline NothingButSunshine

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2008, 07:40:27 PM »
Vivyt- I assume you're asking where I'm from, or... maybe I didn't say hello to you. I don't know, but I'll assume your asking about my location and that would be in the great and wonderful, most ass-backwards state I've ever lived in, Louisiana.

Dragonette- Doesn't it irk you that some of the friends you ran around with, did the same questionable things and were in many of the same questionable situations as you, and they came out untouched? I'm mean teens are wild, and I may have been a bit more out of control, but I knew lots of people who participated excessively in the same things as me. Seriously sucks drawing the short end of the stick, but oh well. (Still exercising some of that resentment I have out, over things I have no control over.)

Betty- Very kind of you to express your concern. The moving stress was expected, but the ferret thing definitely breaks my heart, we actually are going to give our pair to a friend so we'll be able to see them, but it still won't be the same, obviously. Also, its always nice to share inspiring things with people, I know I can definitely use some inspiration, and even if its just for a second, to make someone smile, or feel better is rewarding to me, and I think everyone deserves that feeling, some more than others, and I know you ladies know what feeling I'm talking about. Wish I could describe feelings...LoL.


I'm ridiculously worn out, so I'll leave you ladies, and to you all, be sure to have some of those indescribable feelings I talked about. ;D *Big Hugs To All*
« Last Edit: July 18, 2008, 07:44:20 PM by NothingButSunshine »
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2008, 08:35:27 PM »
I cant remember everything I just read. LOL
I'm on pain killers again. I went to the doctor today because the right side of my face and neck where swollen. Oh God it hurts so bad. But I'm all better from the ear and sinus infection LMAO
This happens to me every once in a blue moon.
I had a lymphectomy several years ago. <they removed a lymph gland in my neck>
During the surgery <which was done at a learning hospital> they nicked a salivary gland and some nerves. I think it was the submandibular gland to be specific. So what is happening is that the gland will fill up with fluids and get infected.

So now I get to run around looking like a n Borneo orangutan and hurt like a mother freakin nutso rarrr when I eat.

I tell ya, I have to catch a break here soon. LOL This sick crap is for the birds.

Thank you all who wrote about Justin. I'm happy I can say most often now speaking about him makes me smile instead of cry. I don't get many opportunitys to talk about him without people looking at me all sad or apologising.

Drag - I do remember reading about you riding a horse. They are beautiful but so big they scare me.
I hope you enjoy your wedding.

Andrea - if you have his address and you don't want his crap and can afford to mail it do it. Don't ask permission. LOL


Sunshine - You sounded like you where talking about me when I was your age. LOL


I'm coloring my hair and my timer just went off. Gotta run!

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2008, 09:37:58 PM »
Mum-Take a long hot bath...that'll help your aches....yeah right, huh? When do you find the time! What color did you paint the rooms?

Sunshine- I am in California. I don't know if you had written that before. My story is the total opposite. I was the good girl in the family. Never partied, rarely drink, never did drugs, and have only been with one person sexually. How's that for short end? LOL! I am so sorry about your ferrets. I have a dog and she is like my child. I don't know what I would do if I had to get rid of her. Were you able to find a good home for them?

Betty-Thanks for answering. Sometimes I think I may ask questions that are maybe inappropriate but I figure how else will I find out if I don't ask.

Wendy-That totally sucks!!!! Do you even go out of the house all swollen like that? Ugh! What a nightmare! I hope you feel better soon   :) :) Oh, I don't have Mr. Wonderful's address. If I really wanted to be a bitch AND make a statement I could send it to the fire station that he works at...that would be sooooo bad!

Drag-That would be my dream man. Someone who will plan all the stuff. If I were getting married I would totally not even care where or how. I would love it if "he" was into it and then I wouldn't have to be.  ;) I am very traditional in most aspects but for some things I am totally a guy...LOL!

Well, I went to see Dark Knight today and it was pretty good. I did not see the last Batman movie but I have seen all the others. This one was more focused on the Joker which I thought was good. It kept me interested for the 2 hours. I thought Heath Ledger did a really good job. You forgot about him as an actor and just concentrated on the character. There was a guy in the theater who was so loud with his reactions. I just wanted to say SHUT UP! Anyways...that's all. I need to go dry my hair and then try to stay awake until it is time to go to bed. Good Night!

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2008, 09:03:10 AM »
Good Saturday morning!  This is going to be short - trying to get the gang dressed for our weekly shopping. 

Andrea, the boys' room is now denhim blue with "off" red trim (around the windows, crown molding, door and closet trim, and baseboards)  I REALLY like it.  I'm quilting their curtains from old jeans and flannel shirts.

The girls' room is going to be a rasberry-to-maroon color with stark white trim.   I like the look of really bold colors with white trim.  They don't have crown molding so we're going to use plain white contact paper cut 4 - 6 inches wide.  My brother, who's an artist, will write a blessing on it for the girls.  We'll use it as a border all the way around the room.  Still working on what color to do the writing.  I'm leaning towards brown.  I'm not sure what I'll do for curtains.  Right now they just have pink sheers.

I'm lost as to the color of the living room.  I have some ideas, but nothing strikes me as "right". 

Wendy, my sweet swollen honey.  What are we going to do with you?  It's 1 thing after another.  At least you have your priorities straight (coloring your hair).

Alrighty, I'm out of here.  I'll catch up with all of you later this afternoon.

Mum :-*
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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2008, 02:39:37 PM »
Whew, just caught up on everything since the middle of the last thread!  Welcome to Tatenda and (Nothing but) Sunshine.  I will call you Sunshine, GF! :)

Wendy, thanks for sharing the video of your son.  I am so sorry for your loss, I thought perhaps he was an infant and then I realized (after seeing the pics) he was 4 years old.  I agree, that after a certain amount of time passes, you can look back on the memories and smile, and its comforting, no more pain.  I get like that now when I think about my late husband.  He would've been 40 this coming week, but died shortly after his 28th birthday in '96.  God bless the ones we've lost.

Queen, so you are getting the short end of the stick with the housing ordeal?  Did you get to check out the new list of places for rent?  Hold out until you find a good hood to move to, if you can.  I keep picturing you with half your head braided and the other side lookin' like Buckwheat.  Otay!   ;D

Andrea (Viv), I am so proud of you for kicking SO's ass to the curb.  Its empowering, isn't it?  Goes to show that we are stronger than we believe, just like in that quote that Sunshine put up from Mandela.  Hang in there.

Drag, I haven't been horseback riding since I was 13, lol.  Its scary being on those big, powerful animals if you're not used to it!  I am sure you didn't bore the horse, or "Brad Pitt" either!  ;)  Sorry you are feeling guilt over living far away from your parents.

Mum, way to go on the boy's room.  I have two denim couches with red piping, that a GF just gave me.  We all have good taste, lol!  ;)  I love reading your stories about the kids, you go girl!  :)

Today is my mother's bday and she calls me, making it sound like Dad is going to lose a limb.  He's got a frikkin ingrown toenail and he's fine.  LOL  Oh, mon dieu!   :D

Well, at work, things are looking up.  Don't know if I posted that last time.  I think I did.  Halfwit and I are speaking now and she vents to me a lot cause she doesn't think she'll be able to handle the training coming our way.  We have reconciled, and I have certainly taken the high road and have been very kind to her.  I told the new CFO and CEO that I am ready for the changes at the office and to hurry up already.   ;D   They were relieved and happy that I am so enthusiastic.  I am gonna rock 'n' roll at work and hope to get more money by the end of the year.  I just have to be patient.

Iceman is doing great, he has his kids today.  One of them is celebrating a birthday (the one who saw me in the dept store a few weeks ago).  Ice called last night and I could hear her in the background, playing with her new gifts she got for her birthday.  I said he could hang up if he wanted to, and did she know who he was talking to?  He didn't seem concerned and the kids know now more than ever that Daddy has "a friend."

More later, I have something else I need to share, but I need to take a break.

Here are the pics of Cheech that I promised, sort of a "Before and After" of him.  He is a 50lb Australian Shep.  Now, just think  "Fifty pound chiuhuahua!"   :o

Shout out to BT, Cristy, Camms, Wish, Netta and all of my GFs!    :D

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« Last Edit: July 20, 2008, 11:25:35 AM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2008, 02:45:38 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

I missed out this morning, but I was out the door early.

Mum, congratulations on finishing the room!  That's gotta feel good.  Are you feeling any better today?  I like the color schemes you have for the rooms.  Have fun on the shopping trip.  

Sunshine, we can all use some inspiration at one time or another.  I have an NA meditation book I read every morning.

Wendy, good Lord girlie!  What to do with you.  I'm glad you have some pain medication.  It sounds awful.  Please take care of yourself.

Andrea, I don't mind any questions at all about my life.  I always tell people my life is pretty much an open book.  You should mail the watch to the fire station.  Would his name and addy be in the phone book?

Well, today is Goodwill's 50% off day.  So, I went there and got a couple tops, a pair of capris and a couple books.  Then, I had lunch with my sister at Bonnie Doone's (a local ice cream shop).  It was my sister's treat, as the last time we went out I treated.  We had a good visit.  I think we were there for an hour and 1/2.  But it was all good.  (It was my oldest sister).  Then I went to Meijer's, then to Kroger's.  And now I'm home for the rest of the day.  Tomorrow is another sponsor/sponsee get together.  I used to look forward to those, but now I really don't.  There's about 3 girls who go there who abuse prescription medication (I talked a little about it before I think).  I know everyone has to go through what they're gonna go through.  I just can't really be around it too much.  

Anyway, I think tonight I'm gonna order a movie off comcast's "on demand" thing.  I don't feel like driving to the video store (how lazy can one get).  I hope all you ladies are having a good Saturday.  I can't believe it's almost 3:00 already.

Cin, you posted at the same time I went to.  Things sound a lot better with your job!  And I'm glad Ice's daughters know that he has a "friend."  It won't be so hard.  OMG! Cheech looks so different in the 1st picture and the last one.  Looks like two totally different doggies.  He's a handsome one.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #17 on: July 19, 2008, 02:50:10 PM »
Hi BT~

Yes, Cheech looks pretty darn good for 101 years old.  He's 14-1/2! 

Snoozin' in the hallway as usual, blocking the doorway and protecting "Mommy" here, lol!

~ Cindy

P.S. - Now I want ice cream since you mentioned where you had lunch, lol!   :P
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline NothingButSunshine

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #18 on: July 19, 2008, 03:38:56 PM »
Wini- I'm sorry you're in pain, hope you get some relief soon. When you say learning hospital do you mean charity? I go to a learning/charity hospital. I'm sorry they made a mistake during your surgery. When I went to have a cone biopsy at my hospital I was thinking, "God hope these people don't screw something up.", but then again there are always risks. Nevertheless sweetie, I hope you get well soon. Vivyt's right about the fact that you've got your priorities straight with the hair coloring, LoL.

Vivyt- I guess everyone of us should get together to teach people about how HIV/AIDS doesn't discriminate. I manage a restaurant, and you wouldn't believe some of the explict things I hear from the kids who work there. (LoL, I say kids but they're my age or a few years younger, but we're on different wave lengths nonetheless) Anyway, when I question them about getting tested for STDS reiterating that its an epidemic, some get that fear mixed with disgust look on their face, and some are completely convinced that it could never happen to them, or both. It's very disheartening because sometimes it doesn't matter what you say, some already have their minds made up and I'm scared for them. We were able to find a good home for the ferrets, we're giving them to our friend, so we can still see them, which won't be as great as having them, but at least its better than nothing.

Moon- It's a pleasure to meet you, I wish you the best at work. I  am waiting on a possible promotion at work, money is good to have. I hate it, but it's good to have.


Betty- I need to go find a good book. I can't remember the last time I actually read a book. Getting one won't be a challenge, finding the time to read one will be. Ugh, life is so demanding... I want to enroll in some Tai Chi classes. If I can squeeze my butt into my favorite jeans, I can probably squeeze what I want to do in life somewhere...

Well ladies speaking of a demanding life, work calls in about an hour or so.. I hate night shifts. At least my hubby was off today and I was off the biggest part of the day. My hubby, my friend, and I went to eat chinese earlier, and to look at plants. Where I'm moving, we have a lot of shade, so I wanted to see what kind of shade plants they had. Do you ladies know of any pretty ones?

Have a FABULOUS day ladies!! Happy Saturday!



« Last Edit: July 19, 2008, 03:49:54 PM by NothingButSunshine »
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #19 on: July 19, 2008, 04:35:09 PM »
Good Afternoon Ladies!

Nice to hear from you Cindy! I like the pictures of your Cheech...Vivian has her summer haircut and it took her a while to get used to it.

Betty, I know what station he works at but I would never do that because ultimately it could backfire and I would be in a very uncomfortable situation.

I don't need to worry about sending it to him because he came by yesterday to pick it up. He was working overtime at a station close by so he came in a station vehicle and in his uniform which I do have to say...I LOVE...what a sucker I am for a man in uniform...LOL! He thinks I am seeing someone else and isn't too happy. I did not correct him and I didn't even say anything that would lead him to think it but oh well...whatever works. Anyways...he thinks it's not over but I don't plan on contacting him but I am sure he thinks I will be weak and give in or he will just show up, which he has a tendency to do. I guess if there were no feelings it would be easier. I am going to be really busy so that will help. I have a lot of "meetings" coming up. We are getting a new math curriculum and have a training for it, 8 hours a day for 5 days. I just hope it's not too boring. At least I'm getting paid.

Other than that not much is going on. I have to wash the cushion covers on my couch and I can't get motivated. I spilled coffee all over it...so aggravating! I cleaned it up but I need to really take them off and throw them into the machine. Between the dog and me I don't know why I even bother having furniture... :) What I really want to do is take a nap. I have been soooooooooooooo tired and just might take a little nap...talk to you all later!

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #20 on: July 19, 2008, 04:42:28 PM »
Good gravy on the thunder mountain, it is HOT outiside!!  We got the boys moved in and now they're putting all the "stuff" (ladder, tarps, ect) away in the barn.  My thighs are killing me, so making it through Wal-mart was no small feat.  I mostly leaned on the buggy and hobbled along..lol..I can only imagine what I must've looked like.  But, I got it done and ate Dove chocolate on the way home so all is good.

Cindy my sweetness, it's good to hear from you again.  It sounds like things at work have taken a huge upswing for you.  Poor Cheech!  He looks like a puppy in the bottom pix and an adult in the top picks.  If I shave my head bald, think I'll look young and skinny? ::)  Glad to hear that Iceman's kids have accepted the fact that daddy has a friend.  It shouldn't come as such a shock since thier mom has one (or a few), too.  Next step..meeting them :o

Betty, sounds like you had a really great time today.  You deserved it!  MMMMM..icecream.  I could definately go for some orange and pineapple sherbert just about now.  IGA - here I come!

Drag, when Hubby and I were on our Honeymoon on the island of Roatan, we went horseback riding.  Hubby had never ridden before, but I used to ride a lot growing up.  His horse was on some kind of drugs.  Everything was going really well until It walked in the middle of the road and refused to move.  Hubby was kicking it and jerking the reins, but the dumb thing wouldn't get outta the road.  I was laughing and honestly not being much help.  Along came a car - drove right up to the horse - beeping and carrying on, and there the horse stood.  Hubby got off and started pullling it, then pushing it, then decided being pooped on wouldn't make his day so he went back to pulling.  Finally, he just walked away and left the horse standing there.  I thought surly either the horse will move or Hubby would stop - neither happened.  So, I caught up to Hubby and offered him a ride back.  We took the long way along the shore of the Carribean Sea - totally spectacular.  When we got back to the stables, there was the horse.  The owner started laughing and said he thought maybe Hubby had been killed by a car.  Obviously, that horse had a reputation.

Sunshine, welcome to the forums.  

To all my other honies out there - much love going around.  I'm off to get the kiddies bathed before supper.

 :-*Mum
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"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #21 on: July 19, 2008, 05:35:54 PM »
Do you even go out of the house all swollen like that? Ugh!
If I leave my hair down you cant tell. The doctors gave me doxycycline and amoxicillin and hydrocodone. I have a little TMJ (lock jaw) in my jaw too so that doesn't help matters LOL
I'll be glad when the swelling goes down because the mouth is a pretty important pleasure area. I cant eat or drink or anything else proper.  ;)  I still eat and drink it just hurts like a mother.

I'm lost as to the color of the living room.  I have some ideas, but nothing strikes me as "right". 
Wendy, my sweet swollen honey.  What are we going to do with you?  It's 1 thing after another.  At least you have your priorities straight (coloring your hair).

LMAO coloring my hair. Its auburn now. One thing after another. I KNOW! I think I deserve a break from all this sick crap by now. LOL We just painted our living room. We chose a color called bisque. and the trim is white. A friend of ours <also named Billy> is a pro painter and was nice enough to come over and help my Billy. I'm sure our friend did most of the work.
Your kiddo's rooms sound vibrant. I bet they love it. I want to paint my room green.

Wendy, thanks for sharing the video of your son.  I am so sorry for your loss, I thought perhaps he was an infant and then I realized (after seeing the pics) he was 4 years old.  I agree, that after a certain amount of time passes, you can look back on the memories and smile, and its comforting, no more pain.  I get like that now when I think about my late husband.  He would've been 40 this coming week, but died shortly after his 28th birthday in '96.  God bless the ones we've lost.
Thanks. I get melancholy sometimes when I think about him. Its just not as gut wrenching anymore that he is not in my arms. But I do have my moments. They are just not frequent anymore.
I know, I talk about him like he was a baby. A lot of people assume he was an infant because of the way I talk about him I guess. You know, I don't miss my late husband at all anymore. It was terribly shocking at first. We had been together for 10 years. Now I don't mourn him or nothing. I hardly even think of him. Does that sound mean?
Cheech is adorable. I'm glad your relationship with Iceman has developed to a place where you aren't a secret.
<high 5>

Wendy, good Lord girlie! What to do with you. I'm glad you have some pain medication.  It sounds awful.  Please take care of yourself.
I'm doing my best.  ;D

Wini- I'm sorry you're in pain, hope you get some relief soon. When you say learning hospital do you mean charity? I go to a learning/charity hospital. I'm sorry they made a mistake during your surgery. When I went to have a cone biopsy at my hospital I was thinking, "God hope these people don't screw something up.", but then again there are always risks. Nevertheless sweetie, I hope you get well soon. Vivyt's right about the fact that you've got your priorities straight with the hair coloring, LoL.
I've been taking one pain pill every 4 hours. It still hurts like a son of a bitch but its tolerable until its time to take another pill. Yeah its a charity hospital. Parkland Hospital. The same hospital that John F Kennedy went to when he was shot. I've had a cone biopsy done too. That was unpleasant. LOL

I don't need to worry about sending it to him because he came by yesterday to pick it up. He was working overtime at a station close by so he came in a station vehicle and in his uniform which I do have to say...I LOVE...what a sucker I am for a man in uniform...LOL! He thinks I am seeing someone else and isn't too happy. I did not correct him
Wooo Whooo! LOL
Glad you got that taken care of. I'm a sucker for a man in uniform too. I think its a power and authority thing. ???
Let him think what he wants. Maybe he'll leave you alone if he thinks your seeing someone else.


The baby is spending the day here today. She is asleep in the play pen right now. I took this picture of her earlier.

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« Last Edit: July 19, 2008, 05:40:09 PM by Winiroo »

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #22 on: July 19, 2008, 09:44:39 PM »
Sunshine, when is the actual move?  Sorry, I have no clue as to what plants grow well in the shade.

Mum, are your thighs hurting because of all that work?  Or some fun? ;)  Come on, you can tell us girls.

Andrea, I'm glad he picked up the watch.  I think men in uniform are very handsome also.  But, that doesn't mean they all have shining personalities.  Just remember why you broke it off when weak moments come.

Wendy, I sure hope you start feeling better.  The baby is really adorable.

I didn't order a movie. I watched a little of "Lock Up: Raw."  I've seen that particular episode though.  Anyway, I'm just doing a quick stop-in.  I'm probably going to bed early.  I hope you ladies have a good night.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline NothingButSunshine

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #23 on: July 20, 2008, 08:58:52 AM »
HAPPY Sunday, Ladies! I'm up pretty early this AM, considering I worked a night shift last night. I'm assuming its from the fact that that I have a bit of a rash on my back thats been itching, its somewhat painful. I'm 95% sure its the shingles.  :-\ A mild case anyway. This is just what I need, let me tell, ya'll. Guess I'll call the doctor tomorrow, and see if I can get in. Last time I had shingles it was SO bad, all over the left side of my chest and back, extreme numbness in my left arm, not to mention the pain. It was awful, so I better check this out before it escalates, if it is indeed shingles. I know they say stress brings it out, and I've definitely been stressin'.

Mum- Very nice to meet you, thank you for the welcome. I enjoy talking to all of you ladies very much. It's terribly hot here too, and Dove chocolate makes everything better. ;)


Wini- I'm glad you are finding some relief. Hopefully it'll be over and done with soon. The baby is adorable, if you don't mind me asking, is that your child, or grand-child? Anyway, she's so very gorgeous.


Betty- We can start moving in tomorrow morning (Monday) So yeah, me getting up early this morning is good because I need good sleep tonight, for tomorrow. The hubby has work tomorrow, and I'm off, so I'll move a few smaller things by myself, and then I suppose we'll go get a truck, after he gets off. I'd get a truck myself, but I'd hate to be someone else on the road while I was driving a U-haul, LoL.


My poor cats aren't going to know what to do with themselves when they get into the new house. My oldest cat Charli, who weighs 15 pounds (he's a big fattie) is so scared of everything. Rizzo, the youngest will be a little scared at first, but he'll adjust quickly, I think. Either way, once they get warmed up to the place, they're going to have so much fun its WAY bigger and they will enjoy the space I'm sure. I wish we could have the ferrets, but the landlord only allows cats... :( The kitties are also going to wonder where their ferret playmates went. :-[ The apartment, we're moving out of (that I won't miss a bit) is so tiny. It's two bedrooms, and we have SO much stuff, and its super cluttered. Plus the junkie neighbors always looking for hand-outs is quite annoying. I mean, I've given them food before, because its food, and everyone needs to eat, but this asking for money and for rides places, I can't wait to be away from. I mean shoot, we can barely afford to take care of ourselves.

 I finally get to have a yard, with plants! I have a few plants here now, a few got destroyed by a soccer ball, which I'm not upset about, because these poor kids around here have to play somewhere, but someone stole a poinsettia I'd had since last December. I was so angry, as it had sentimental value, and who steals a poinsettia, anyway!? So, I'm so glad we'll have our own yard. Also, my husband and his friends record music and I'm so glad that we'll have 3 rooms in our new house, and I told him one of those rooms is specifically for him and his friends, it stinks that I can never get away and be somewhere else in this apartment, away from his friends when they're doing their thing, when I just want to watch TV, or be alone, etc, etc. So I'm excited he'll have his room and I'll have the two other rooms, the dining room, the living room, the kitchen, and the utility room. As far as the bathrooms, I suppose I can share, LoL. I just really hope I don't have shingles, the last thing I need is something to slow me down while we're moving, but if I do, hopefully it will have been caught early, like I said, I've had a BAD case before, as well as milder cases, and this seems mild, so antibiotics here I come.

So I guess I better go pack some more things, we're almost done, finally. Hope all is well with you ladies, you all have a wonderful day today, I'll check back later. *Big Hugs* -To everyone!





« Last Edit: July 20, 2008, 01:07:29 PM by NothingButSunshine »
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #24 on: July 20, 2008, 10:40:56 AM »
Good Morning! I am up late this morning...feel good  :)

Sunshine, Yikes! Shingles! My mom had that once and it was really bad! From understanding too it is triggered by stress. Now I don't quite remember but you are on meds right? I know before I knew my status and began treatment my body was going haywire! Well I sounds like the house you are moving to is much better which is nice. Moving does suck though... :)

Wendy, your grandbaby has grown so much! So cute!

Well not much planned today. Probably a whole bunch of nothing. I went to two libraries yesterday and the books I was looking for were checked out of both. I hate that! I mean how dare anyone else be reading something when I want to...LOL! Have a good day...I'll probably check in later!  :)

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #25 on: July 20, 2008, 11:59:20 AM »
Hi GFs~

Win, I hope you're feeling better.  Can you sip on a yummy milkshake from McDs or are you sensitive to temperature as well?  OMG if I couldn't eat without pain I would be a raving lunatic bitch!  *STAND BACK, PEOPLE!*   :o  I sure hope you get some relief from this crappity-crap.  BTW, Haley is gorgeous!  What a cutie-pie, and growing so fast!  :)

BT~  Are you awake yet, GF?  Its almost noon..... ;)

Sunshine~ Sorry about the ferrets.  I wouldn't be able to move if I were you.  I am SOOOOO attached to my dog.  I had two dogs, but had to put Casie down in 4/07 at age 14-1/2.  The girls here know how crazy I am about my Cheech.  I get worried cause he is 14-1/2 now as well, but he is in good health and can still do 360s when I get home.  Yes, the dog levitates and spins around in the air.  HE IS NUTS!  Iceman says to quit worrying and enjoy him while he's here.  Yes, your kitties will love the new place with more room!  Does your hubby plan on having band practice at home?  My late husband always had the guys in the basement, amps cranked and everything, and when I'd get home from work I would blink the light switch.  That was the "last call" sorta thing, as in, "Time to shut the hell up cause I've had a long day!"   :D  What I wouldn't give to hear him jammin' down there.

I've spoken to Iceman about my late husband, because of our musical tastes.  My late husband was a great musician, played acoustic, electric, bass and drums.  I have an old video from when we got back together in 1992, its of him playing live at a gig.  Ice said he would watch it with me.  Isn't that cool?  Yeah, I'm sentimental, but the music brings back so many memories of good times and that's what its all about.

I have (FINALLY) been cleaning out my back bedroom to make it into a reading room.  Its where the computer is at, and all last summer when I was unemployed I didn't file any of my bills away.  I finally started cleaning them up and went through boxes of crap back here.  This room had a lot of boxes in it from when I was going to move in with Doofus in 2006, before he dumped me.  He didn't want to wear a condom for the rest of his life.  Yes, I have hexed him and wished bad things on him.  Karma is a bitch.  LOL

Anyway, I have found lots of stuff here that belonged to my late Grandmother, my late husband, even an old bucket that used to have kitty litter in it.  It reminded me of Doofus' cat and even that made me sad.  There is a big box of stuff marked with my late husband's name, and I dare not open it, it just stays on the shelf in my closet.  I can't look at it, but I can't part with it either.

I am going to have Iceman move my rocker or recliner up here so I can read some Stephen King books that I have never cracked open.  I can't wait!

So, I had something else to share.  If you recall, Lil Sis is the little sister of my Ex-Best Friend who wrote me off in 2002, after I disclosed to her.  Their family was like MY family.  Lil Sis and I have been buddies and her mother was diagnosed with cancer in January.  It went into remission but came back with a vengeance a few weeks ago, all over her body.  She passed the evening of 7/10, so I went to the viewing last weekend.  I saw all of the siblings, incl Ex-Best Friend at the viewing.  They hadn't seen me in 6 years.  Ex-Best Friend told the entire family about my HIV status and never told me why she wrote me off, so I have had trouble with closure since then, but its gotten better.

Anyway, Iceman is parking the car and I am walking into the mausoleum last Sunday for the viewing.  Who is standing closest to the door?  Ex-Best friend (of nearly 20 years all thru high school until 2002).  She turns to look at me as I walk towards her.  I mouth the word "Hi" and give her a sweet smile and.......walk the fuck right past her fat ass. ------> (_l_)  She had NO idea that Lil Sis and I had kept in touch. (Hee-hee)  I walked up to Lil Sis and gave her a big hug.  We walked to the casket with Iceman, and one Big Brother and his wife say Hello, how have I been?  I smile and say I'll catch them later, going to pay my respects.  I say hello to the other Big Brother and give him a big hug (he is sane compared to first Big Brother and Ex-Best friend, yes there are four siblings here, 2 girls, 2 boys).  I go back to the casket alone to pay respects to my "Second Mom" again and there is Ex-Best Friend's husband standing there.  I go and give him a great big hug and we talk.  He seemed a little uncomfortable, prob thinking his wife (my Ex-Best Friend) would get pissed, she belongs in a padded room, and yes, her time WILL come.  I feel sorry for the guy, he needs to dump her and get on with his life, but they have kids now, so....whatever.

So, I went in there, looking like a million bucks, had Iceman with me, and gave people something to talk about.  My Mom was concerned that people might be rude to me because of my status or because I had been away from their family for so long.  Its Ex-Best Friend that let my cat out of the bag, and a lot of her family knows that I am a good person and that she is the nutbag.  It still hurts, though, but at least I know I am a beautiful, STRONG, person on the inside while Ex-Best Friend is just skimming the surface in a world that is too deep for her. 

Thanks for letting me vent.  So many memories of my "Second Family" came flooding back at that viewing, but I went in with my head held high, knowing that the family thinks Ex-Best Friend did the wrong thing by disclosing my status and writing me off.

Yeah, I win.   ;D

Whew.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2008, 04:09:27 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
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Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #26 on: July 20, 2008, 01:03:44 PM »
Afternoon ladies,

Sunshine, heh.  Memories of a U-Haul.......one time when I was moving, I drove a stick-shift one during the day.  I was rounding a corner in an alley and hit a light post.  I didn't knock anything off of it, but it sure was crooked!  So, you have a big cat, aye?  I do too.  I don't know exactly how much Poppy weighs, but she's big.  And she's scared of everything also.  If I open a bag of Doritos, she's scared of the sound-stuff like that.  I love her though.  I'm glad you'll at least be able to visit your ferrets.  I hope if what you have is the shingles, you caught it early enough that it won't take long to clear.  Take care of yourself, and don't get too worn out moving.

Andrea, nothing wrong with sleeping in.  What books are you looking for?

Cin, I've got a bag downstairs in the basement here that has some of my parents' stuff in it.  I haven't looked at it since I brought it over here.  I've really been missing my mum lately.   Your late hubby sounds like an amazing musician.  My dad played the drums; he used to play at nightclubs in Detroit back in "the day," during the Big Band era.  He has an autograph book that has Frank Sinatra's autograph in it.   I'm glad you survived that viewing.  Please accept my condolences at the passing of your "second mom."  I'm also glad you didn't let your crazy ex-friend get to you.  It's her loss; you know that.

Well, this morning I went to church.  I haven't been there in like 3 or 4 months.  It was all good.  There was a man who did the "sermon," because the pastor is on vacation.  He talked about our church (you all know, it's mostly gay/lesbian people who go there) and the members and how we were told that we were the "weeds" by other people who are supposed to be followers of Christ.  Oh, I won't go into everything he said, but basically it was good.

This afternoon there is a sponsor/sponsee get together.  I really would rather stay home and take a nap, but I suppose I'll go.  I really don't want to be around the people taking those prescription meds.  Hopefully I'll be able to stay calm without telling them all they're a bunch of using addicts.  That would really cause a ruckus.  Anyway, I hope you ladies all have a good afternoon. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #27 on: July 20, 2008, 01:13:50 PM »
   Your late hubby sounds like an amazing musician. 

You have no idea, it brought tears to my eyes when I read your post.  He's up there jammin' with your Dad, I bet.

Sorry you're missing your mother, just talk to her.  I do that with my loved ones who have passed.  It makes it like they are still here.  Crazy, but true.   :-*
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2008, 02:31:48 PM »
Ok pardon me if I miss responding to anyone because apparently while taking these pain pills I have almost no recollection of what I just read. LOL
I slept in today. Did not wake at 6:45 as usual to go to work. I didn't get out of bed till 11. LOL But I fixed everything at Harold's <old man>  house yesterday so he'd have everything he needed for today.
He knows what to do. Its just a matter of him doing it instead of being his usual lazy self.

Sunshine - I have a boyfriend/husband <Billy> We have been together for 5 years. The baby is his grand daughter but I claim her as mine.
If you have shingles you'd do best to see a doctor ASAP. The quicker you treat it the better off you'll be. I've had it twice. SUCKS! 
Watch out for the poinsettia troll.  That is weird, stealing a plant? Maybe your neighbor is trying to smoke it. LOL The medicine they use for shingles is the same as meds for herpes. So if you know anyone with herpes ask them if they have any extra Valcyclovir or Valtrex. If you find any I can tell you how much your supposed to take.

Cindy - I manage to eat. I'm just not eating with as much gusto as usual. LOL Maybe I can get down below 150 pounds. LMAO
I liked your story about the funeral and your second family. I've got a fake sister and other mom. But there isn't any problem with my being HIV positive with the family. Just their typical crazy family drama and alcoholism and drug addiction that runs rampant in the family. But I'm used to that. I just don't see them often anymore but when I do its like no time passed at all and I try to ignore the drama that usually happens when your surrounded by a bunch of using addicts and alcoholics. They are koo koo birds but I love them.

Betty - There are people in a 12 step group continuing to take medications that are mind altering? If so you are right they are using addicts. But you know they will make every excuse in the book to down play it.
That's like someone in NA going to a bar for a drink. It just doesn't work. Its substituting one addiction for another.

Andrea - I'm curious what you wanted to read too. I love reading.


Offline NothingButSunshine

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2008, 03:59:09 PM »
Well Girls, I thought I would chat it up with you all as much as possible because I'm not exactly sure when our cable company will be able to come out and set us up at the new house, and we're moving in tomorrow. Gosh, I think I'm having withdraws from the internet already, LoL :P Anyhow, we've pretty much finished packing, and its definitely a good thing because I don't think I have much more "Go", at least not today anyway.

So I'm not really sure if what I thought was shingles, shingles because I'm not experiencing any numbness at all. I'm pretty sure slight to a good bit of numbness is indicative to shingles, so I'm not completely sure, maybe I'm allergic to something, ah well, that's what doctors are for. I will be grateful if its not shingles though, the last time ugh, I shudder when thinking of it, I could barely wear clothes, had a fever of 102, vomiting...I would not wish that upon my worst enemy.

Vivyt- I am currently on medication for the HIV, and the last time I saw my doctor for my counts my CD4 was 430 something, and he did not have my VL but, he did say that based on my other numbers he was pretty sure that my VL was undetectable, and that he would call if it was not, and he did not call so, yet another reason why I'm not sure if what I think is shingles, is really shingles, being that my immune system is in pretty good shape. The last time I had shingles I wasn't on any medication for HIV, so that's probably why it was so bad...the first time I saw my HIV doctor my CD4 was 250, and I don't remember what my VL was, but it was high. I was covered in boils from a wicked staph infection too. Thankfully I'm where I am now though, and I totally understand the whole "system going haywire", statement. I certainly hope things are going well for you now. :)

Moon- My sympathies to you, being that you had to have your doggie put down, its never easy to lose pets. They all have their own personalities, and they're so pure. I am however, glad to hear that your other doggie is doing well. Iceman is right about you enjoying his time here. I don't know about you but I always worry about bad things happening... even though they may never happen, or they may not happen for a while. I'm really trying to implement the whole "One day at a time" into my life. LoL, as far as the hubby practicing at home thing they've always gathered at our home to do so, and you're a lot nicer than me by flipping a lightswitch, to signal that you need down-time. I'm one to let it be known, that it's time to shut it down. I'm sure it will still be loud in the bigger house, but at least I won't have to be in the same room as them. It's really great that Iceman is open-minded about your late husband, my dad lost my mom when I was 18 so I've seen how tough that can be on a spouse, and my dad still isn't really completely over it. She passed away in 2002. I doubt my father will ever try and find someone else, although I've discussed the idea of him trying to date or maybe find some companionship, just to let it be known that if he was holding back because he thought I wouldn't approve or something that I wanted him to know that I wanted him to be happy, and that I was sure Mom wanted him to be happy. After the conversation though, I think he just doesn't want anyone else, but I can't be sure. As for your ex-best friend, I just really cannot understand how people can be so cruel, and props to you girl for standing tall in an awkward situation. You're just like me on the "Karma" thing, when someone wrongs you, just let it go because karma is indeed a bitch, and as ugly as it sounds they will eventually get what is coming to them. Sounds terrible like I said, but don't dish out nasty comments that you have no right speaking, private things about people that aren't any of your business, or do dirty deeds to others. Believe me, if you dish it out, you WILL take it back eventually.

Betty- I LoLed at your story about the U-haul, that's really too funny. I bet you were a lot more graceful than I would have been in that situation. What did you do after you hit light post? When I read the story, even though I don't know you that well, I pictured you shrugging it off, putting it in reverse, and going on about your business, LoL. Aren't fat cats the greatest? Too funny about the doritios bag, my cat Charli has ran off to the sounds of so many different things, I can't really remember a good one, but he high-tails it out of whatever room I'm in with him, when I sneeze. Hope you're having a wonderful day, and you take care, as well.

Wini- I must reiterate how gorgeous your gran-baby is. Ah, so adorable. I'm going to the doctor to see whats up tomorrow, in the middle of moving, LoL. I'm totally with you on how bad shingles suck, although I'm not sure if that's what it is, better safe than sorry. Poinsettia troll, indeed...LoL. I so would not put the whole smoking the poinsettia thing past our neighbor, LoL. I shouldn't laugh because they obviously have problems, but I've been there too, and I certainly did not smoke any poinsettias! As for the shingles meds I don't think I know anyone who has those types of mediciations, but I do have some lidocaine patches, and I should be able to see the doctor tomorrow. I most certainly appreciate your concern, and suggestions though because I'd do anything to try to slow down, or get rid of whatever this is now. Thank you though! HUGS

To all of you Ladies- Thanks so much for chatting with me, you've all made these past few days brighter. Hope everyone is in good health mentally and physically, and if there is anything ailing you I hope you're able to heal soon. I'll be sending you all positive thoughts though, in general. :) Hopefully they'll get the cable and internet set up within a couple of days at the new house. Until then Ladies, you all have fun (as I'm sure you will ;)) Talk to you all later. HUGS




« Last Edit: July 20, 2008, 04:05:48 PM by NothingButSunshine »
"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #30 on: July 20, 2008, 04:21:28 PM »
Chuckling at Sunshine and BT's cats being afraid of crinkling noises and such. 

To this day, on Christmas morning, Cheech gets scared of the wrapping paper being torn off of the gifts and goes running upstairs to hide.    ::)

No wonder I hardly have any pics of him on Christmas mornings, lol! 

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Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #31 on: July 20, 2008, 05:22:00 PM »
Took a picture a minute ago to memorialise how freaking hot it is outside and my new red hair.


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Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #32 on: July 20, 2008, 05:32:48 PM »
I have not figured out how to insert a quote so bare with me...I am answering the book question...I was looking for Barbra Walters's book and Tori Spelling's book. Yeah I know, total fluff but isn't that what summer vacation is for? LOL!


Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #33 on: July 20, 2008, 06:15:55 PM »
Wendy, I go to NA.  And in the readings we do at the beginning, there's a place in one of them where it says "many of us viewed alcohol separetly, but we cannot afford to be confused about this.  Alcohol is a drug."  So, we consider booze another drug.  But, I know what you mean about people making excuses.  It's especially easy to do if it's a script from a doctor.  That's what I did for years.  Are you feeling any better?

Sunshine, when I hit the light post I kept going.  I didn't even look until I was finished moving.  I just heard it when I hit it (and my ex told me).  I tried to get my cat to lose weight one time. I bought her Iam's weight control; she'd have nothing to do with it.  So, I caved and got her regular food again.

Cin, that's funny about Cheech.  It probably sounds like a big shotgun to him or something. 

Adrea, I'd like to read Barbara Walter's book also.  I have no idea about Tori Spelling's book. I know who she is, but really don't know much about her.

I'm reading a book called "Light My Fire" by Ray Manzarek, who was the Door's keyboard player.  It's about his years with the Doors.  Right now, it's right at the part where he and Jim Morrison are getting ready to form a band.  I know Jim Morrison was pretty much a doper, but I think he was a god.  When he was younger, OMG, he was soooooo hot.  I'd bone him in a minute. ;)

Well, at the sponsor/sponsee get-together, Liz wasn't there.  But the two other ones who are using prescription meds were.  We went around the circle and said something, as there was a new woman there.  When it was my turn I talked about my prescription drug use and how it ended me up in a nursing home etc.  I don't know if it did any good.  Probably not; when I was strung out, nothing anybody said did me any good.  Honestly, if I wasn't court-ordered into the county mental health facility, I'd probably still be in the nursing home.  Thank God for miracles happening sometimes.  I know the withdrawal was worse than anything I'd experienced; worse than heroin, worse than booze. 

My brother will be here in about an hour and I want to check out a few more threads and maybe lay down for 1/2 hour.  You ladies have a good evening.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #34 on: July 20, 2008, 08:17:41 PM »
Whew!  I'm finally here.  I actually posted this morning, but when I hit "post", it didn't post.  I didn't have time to rewrite everything and now I'm trying to remember it.

Betty, my sweet horn-dog, the pain is from climbing up and down the ladder, getting on and off of the chair, squatting, kneeling..all in the name of painting.  Sorry to disappoint you :P  In 2 wks, we'll start on the girls' room.

Wendy, Haley is so awesome!  I love the red hair.  I am glad that my other post was lost..lol..i called her Kiley. :-\  She's getting so big so fast.  I love the picture.  It's hot here, and I'm so tired of it.  I can't go hang out the laundry without pouring sweat - not a nice look.  My hair is about the same color as your's.  I can't remember the exact name of the color, though.

Cindy, I flat out HATE unpacking boxes and organizing.  It's hard for me to throw things away, but then I get on this kick and everything goes.  My dad has been playing music since my earliest memory.  He brings his guitar everywhere with him.  He even played at my wedding reception.  I'll miss a lot of things when he passes on, but I believe I'll miss his music and singing the most.  His 1st band was called The Shrek.  His name: Spock.

#6 has lost her glasses and we can not find them anywhere.  Trash runs tomorrow so Hubby and I will be digging in the trash from last night.   She had them at dinner and by snack time, they were gone.  1st thing tomorrow, I guess we'll be tearing the house apart to find them.  YEAH!
Last night we had some drama with our oldest, but that seems to have settled.  I was up most of the night with a migraine that had me throwing up at 1am.  I only got about 2hrs of sleep and no nap today.  After church, we went to Joann Fabrics.  I found a cute pattern for wrap-around skirts so I got it and material to make 3.  I also got material for the boys' curtains.  I've got to get those made this week, too.

I'll be hit and miss next week.  I'll try to check in in the morning, but nights will be tied up with Vacation Bible School.  You all be good and do all those lovely things that I can't ;)

Love to you all!
Mum
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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #35 on: July 20, 2008, 10:14:13 PM »
Wendy, I go to NA.  And in the readings we do at the beginning, there's a place in one of them where it says "many of us viewed alcohol separetly, but we cannot afford to be confused about this.  Alcohol is a drug."  So, we consider booze another drug.  But, I know what you mean about people making excuses.  It's especially easy to do if it's a script from a doctor.  That's what I did for years.  Are you feeling any better?
I've been to years and years of NA and AA meetings with my girlfriend/fake sister. I'm not an addict but I posed as one for quite some time. Its a stupid long story but I've seen plenty.  :)

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #36 on: July 20, 2008, 11:19:13 PM »
I do like the name of the thread, thanks Dragonette. And where the hell are you? I have been skimming over posts when I come on. And since I helped my neighbors out of some drama they have been over my house almost every day til late at night. So, I have had no time to get online.

I did find an apartment for Section 8 but not on the list. It's an apartment downstairs from my oldest sister. Yeah, imagine that but it's true. I have to meet the landlord tomorrow so he can sign the papers then I have to turn them back into Section 8. So, that is a bit of a relief but I will be living by myself again. My one roomie may move in with me later. Next month is going to be tight. Depending on how things progress I may have to reschedule my doctor appointments I have coming up.

*glares@cindy*...I beg to differ, I am mixed so I do not look like Buckwheat, maybe Un Fu Fu. My Puerto Rican heritage keep me from getting nappy hair. I just have thin hair. *whips her braids at Cindy*..Though at the moment, I look like a rooster...hee hee

If I have not commented about any of you ladies, it is because you all had so much to say and I don't have the time to really sit and read them thoroughly. I feel guilty because I really haven't even had time to blog. I got to go, I have a steak I need to keep an eye on. Take care...
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #37 on: July 21, 2008, 08:11:46 AM »
Morning ladies,

Mum, I hope you find #6's glasses.  When I went to the Indiana state's NA convention in Indy, I accidentally broke my glasses, then lost them.  I really need to get to my ophthalmologist to get some more; it says on the back of my license I'm supposed to be wearing them.  Now when I drive, I always wear my shades, so in case I ever get pulled over, I can tell the cop they're prescription. ;)

Wendy, that was nice of you to go with your fake sister to the meetings; I assume you went to support her.  They have open meetings where people who want to support others can attend.  Actually, we've never thrown anyone out at a closed meeting who's in attendance because of support. 

Queen, I can't imagine you living downstairs from your oldest sister.  Are you two getting along better?  Anyway, I'm glad you found a downstairs apartment.   About hair...I have to color my roots today.  But what you're doing sounds a lot more tedious.

So, other than me doing my hair today, I only have to clean my apartment.  Yes, it's cleaning day.  But other than that, I might hit a local food pantry and maybe go to a meeting tonight.  I say that often, then when the time comes to actually go, I'm tired or I want to watch Jeopardy.  See, Jeopardy holds a special place in my heart since my mum and I used to play that together.  Sometimes when I'm watching it, I look at her picture and say something like "you would have gotten that." It helps some. 

Tomorrow I start my volunteering at the Hope.  I'm looking forward to it, but a little nervous.  Their front desk is way busier than Aids Ministries.  Keep your fingers and legs crossed for me.  OK, I'm going to check out a few more threads and exercise.  Oh yeah, it's been about 36 hours since I've had a cigarette.  You ladies have a good day.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #38 on: July 21, 2008, 08:18:07 AM »
Good Morning  :) I am up way too early this morning. I start my Math "training" today. We are getting a new curriculum so the publisher does a week long thing explaining it and talking about how great it's going to be and how test scores will go up etc.... I am going for the 5th grade. There is a 4th grade teacher going to and I am not looking forward to seeing her. She is the most phony person I have ever met. She also totally backstabbed me a few years ago and I do not trust her. I made a comment about something our principal was making us do and she went straight to her and told her and it was brought up at a meeting. Well that canceled her out. You would think that a grown woman w/grandchildren wouldn't act like a teenager...

I guess I will play "nice"

Hope everyone has a good day!

Andrea

Oh..Queen....congratulations on finding a place! Is it a good thing that is under your sister?

Betty, you posted at the same time...You have such a good heart. Your volunteering is such a good thing. It makes me happy to know that there are such good people out there!

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #39 on: July 21, 2008, 09:00:32 AM »
*I have to whisper because I'm sneaking*...lol!  I'm "supposed" to be cleaning, but I couldn't stand not dropping in and telling you all good morning!  I've gotten 2 loads done and am on my last one.  Now if I can just get it all dried before the rain starts, I'll be one happy mum.

Andrea, what's the name of the curriculum?  I'm always looking for a good math study and I have a 5th grader.  We're going to do Market Math but I'm not sure it will last all year.

Queen, great news on the apartment - and downstairs to boot.  Good for you!  And, ahem, honey, but Mini is mixed, too, and she still ends up looking like Buckwheat.  I'm trying to convince her to let her hair grow out just a abit more so that I can french braid at least the front.  I'd love to give her a head full of beads, but I'm not sure how comfortable that would be to sleep on.

Betty, you are the one who inspired me to go volunteer.  Next Thursday I'm doing my "ride along" with Meals on Wheels.  It'll be fun because I get to ride with my mum.  Once I learn all the routes, Hubby will do his ride along with me, then we can divide the kids and take 2 routes / month.  Have you registered for school yet?  Do they have all of the classes you need, or will you need to go an extra semester?

Alrighty my sweetnesses, I must go and get my house in some resemblence of order.  This week I'm trying to get the class room finished and I'm trying to work out the logistics of re-doing the downstairs bathroom so we'll have 2 working bathrooms instead of just one.  I'll catch you all later!

Lots of love!
Mum
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

tendai

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #40 on: July 21, 2008, 10:44:46 AM »
Hie ladies

Man its good to be back, i missed you guys a lot.  The holiday sucked.  We had no electricity most of the time so i spent most of the time sleeping or twiddling my thumbs after i got tired of re-reading books and magazines. A friend invited me for a movie last friday so as we had no electricity since thursday morning i went and we watched "30 days of night".  I was joking during the movie that our electricity woes were also caused by vampires planning to come and eat us all up while we slept in the dark.  Sure enough theres still no power when I got home around 7.30pm and im all alone.  Fortunately the women from the main house were outside my door cooking so i hopped into bed and fell asleep. Then i woke up at 11.59 and everywhere its dead quiet and dark and im thinking "Ok here we go, vampire time, its almost midnight and all".  I think i went to sleep after 4pm i was that scared.  Why i would think vampires would get up from wherever they come from and come all the way to my place to eat me is a mystery.  I'd say to myself "Hey they dont have time to drink your malnourished blood PLUS they wouldnt want your HIV anyway. Chill out." Ha.  Every sound i heard was vampire creeping up on me to go for my jagular :o

OK first of all :WELCOME TO THE NEW LADIES
Tatenda - hie asikana.  Im glad u could join us.  Hows the cold there in Canada? U're so lucky u managed to get away from this place. Its really bad these days, but hopefully its the last kicks of a dying horse and we can catch a break soon, if the talks between Mugabe and "Tsvangson" go well now that Mbeki has agreed to let other AU leaders get into the talks. How long have u been there? And about your man, they all piss us off at some point but dont let him achikujairira. (hope u can still read Shona! :D)  Hope to hear more from you shaa.

Mahalia -  hie neighbour.  I have a sort of brother-in-law in Botswana working on farms and stuff. Hes been there since January and says he'll be back in December.   U guys are fortunate to have such a stable economy and all.  At least your president seems to have his head screwed on right. Im glad things are going ok for you.  I have a sister who might be coming over there some time.  Maybe she'll end up plaiting your hair, shes  a qualified hairdresser..

Sunshine - thanks for the Mandela quote.  Its amazing how Madiba is revered thruout the world.  I know somebody who probably wishes people loved him like the way Mandela is loved. Anyway, welcome to the forums.  I can feel your pain about moving, the hassle is just too much, but once u're all unpacked and settled im sure u're going to love the new house. I hope the stress is all better now. And the shingles, hopefully it was a false alarm. i had it on my face and for sure it sucks big time, thank God i havent had a recurrence yet.

Latifah - hie and welcome!

Drag - wow, look at you girl, having riding lessons with Brad Pritt. Theres these people in our neighbourhood who have horses and they be riding them in the street coming from heaven knows where. those things are just HUGE. i cross the road whenever i meet them in the street. wouldnt want those things rearing up and killing me or something

Snow - u did good and got rid of him.  nobody should go around thinking he can just smack you around or anything. it doesnt say much for him if he had to prove his strength by beating on a woman >:(..

Viv - glad u showed Mr Wonderful whos the boss of you.  I know what its like to be involved with a gorgeous guy. do u think if he changed his attitude u'd take him back? i feel if my mr wonderful ever treated me right i'd jump on him in a flash. Andrea is a beautiful name..

Wish - i love your pictures!!! and im glad u and your man worked things out. Your name totally suits you.

Cindy - Cheech looks so naked and cute without the fur! 8 months with Iceman! yay and many more to come for you guys!  good luck with the job hunting. and i loved what u did to that woman at the funeral, totally classy.

Queen - your landlords such an ass. some people are just evil.  i hope u like the new place and stay there with no more problems and shit.

Wendy - Haley is soooo adorable! and im sorry bout billy's dad.

Betty - glad to have the place back to yourself huh?  at least u guys didnt part on bad grounds after all, it wouldve been ugly having to change locks and all.  Good luck with the volunteering tomorrow..

Keeping - great numbers! hows your husband?

(super)Mum - i  hope u feel better with the migraines etc. how u manage to do all u do while feeling crappy is beyond me, u're amazing, and you want to volunteer on top of that! wow

oh my gosh i have to go i've been reading the threads for hours and i havent finished yet.  gotta go. my boss is away today attending a funeral so we did nothing all day. tomorrows another story altogether. Guess how much our consultation fee is. $1 trillion. I wonder how much we're going to be paid this month....
To all the ladies i missed, Netta, J, Christy,and everyone  i hope you're all well. Have a good day or night. I'll catch u all on the rebound.  :-* :-*

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #41 on: July 21, 2008, 12:23:32 PM »
Hola ladies,
I'm doing mostly ok this morning. The swelling seems to be going down every day. I'm going to try and stretch the time between taking pain meds today. Its making me feel stuck here at the house. I cant go anywhere unless most of the drug is out of my system and then I cant go far because I get worn out and the pain gets too bad. Fortunately the grocery store is a block away so I can at least get things I need.
I went to work this morning without taking any meds. I was only there an hour then came home ate and took all my pills.
I made gelato yesterday. I had bought Billy and icecream machine not long ago and this was the first time to use it. I made a custard amaretto gelato with teeny tiny ground chocolate bits. It was surprisingly rich.
I'm going to hunt for another recipe later to make more of a different flavor. Test cooking LOL
Right now I am making labels for my CD's that I've burned. I have the kind that stick right to the CD.
No way will I do them all today but I've done a couple.

Tendai - Good to see you

Andrea - I cant stand people like that. Women do that crap all the time. Not women like us LOL but there are a lot of bitches out there.  ;)

Betty - I was a teenager. It was easier to lie and feel like a part of a group that loved you. My girlfriend had/has issues with drugs and alcohol. I had issues with self esteem and self worth.

Michelle - Glad you got yourself a place to go. I hope living near your sister turns out to be a good thing. I missed the whole Buckwheat thing. I must have been glazed over while trying to read yall's posts. LOL



Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #42 on: July 21, 2008, 12:31:51 PM »
Nothing really on my plate at the moment. I have been up since 8ish this morning because I had gone to one place trying to get help paying the deposit at the new place. I didn't qualify because my eviction wasn't based on non payment of rent. Basically, the only way you can get help is if you don't pay your rent. Hmmm, that makes sense now don't it... >:(  So, I stopped by my ASO and they said they would pay it for me at the new place.

I also had to get the gas transferred over and the electric in my name. If things keep going the way they are, I may not have to pay any bills next month...wooo hooo!!!! So, I may be able to pay off my cable bill which is over 300 so I guess I will still be broke but worth it.

Yep, I am moving downstairs from my oldest sister. We've been getting along lately and I think she is getting lonely. She's talking my ear off now since I have to meet the landlord later.I'll check back later....
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #43 on: July 21, 2008, 02:29:42 PM »
Hey ladies,

Andrea, good luck with the math training.  Yes, don't act snide towards the bitch.  You're a better person than that.

Mum, I'm sure you'll love volunteering.  I think that's great also that you're getting the hubby/kids involved.  It's a great thing to do as a family, in the right setting. 

Tendai, I'm so glad we heard from you!  We missed you too!  I also saw "30 Days of Night."  I didn't really think it was that scarey.  Have you ever seen "Interview with a Vampire?"  I swear, if a vampire came into my room and he looked like Brad Pitt did in that movie, I'd bare my neck for him (as well as a few other things ;)).  Anyway, glad you're back.

Wendy, I'm glad the swelling is going down.  How are your self esteem/worth issues now?  At my church, they're having some type of group that deals with issues like this, I believe.  You're a great lady and should think quite highly of yourself.

Queen, I'm glad you'll be able to catch up on your cable bill.  It's always hard to rob Peter to pay Paul isn't it.  I'm glad you're getting help.

Well, I cleaned my apartment, did my roots and went to a food bank.  I feel quite accomplished today.  I'm kinda tired.  And a bit uneasy about starting the volunteer thing tomorrow.  I'm going though; I'm determined.  I just hope I don't freak out if they get really busy.  I'm pretty good about keeping my cool.  I usually can talk myself down out of situations so I don't panic. 

Nothing else going on.  I hope you ladies are having good afternoons.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #44 on: July 21, 2008, 02:49:03 PM »
Wendy, I'm glad the swelling is going down.  How are your self esteem/worth issues now?  At my church, they're having some type of group that deals with issues like this, I believe.  You're a great lady and should think quite highly of yourself.
In general I'm good. I still have my days but I think most women do occasionally.
I had a rough time in school. From 2nd grade till the 9th grade. Everyday I was taunted, teased, told I was ugly, threatened, told I was stupid by peers. It wasn't as bad in junior high but all through elementary school was torture. Eventually when people tell you things like that on a daily basis you start to believe them. Plus I didn't have any parental supervision or much interaction with them and most often fended for myself and went hungry often.
I started changing how I felt about myself after my youngest son was born. I can still look in the mirror and not like what I see but I know most of it is in my head so I fight it. I know I look pretty to some people and sometimes I look pretty to me.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #45 on: July 21, 2008, 05:58:39 PM »
I forgot to mention that Lucifer broke my left hearing aid today. He literally ate it, well, some of it. I had to take it up to Ed at the ENT and he literally super glued it back together. I can't even get a replacement because the place I originally got them from only supplies hearing aids every five years and my insurance won't cover it because it is more than fifteen hundred dollars which is my quota. And I used part of that when both hearing aids got repaired the last time. And after seeing Ed, I have learned that the hearing in my right ear has gotten worse and it's happening fast.

I went to go look at the apartment, it is nice. It needs some touch ups due from the last tenant and the carpets shampooed. But I pretty much have it, the landlord took the paperwork from both Section 8 and my ASO and will turn them in when he is done filling them out. Saves me a trip. He's willing to let me have Lucifer though I did not tell him about Nef and Athena. So, now I just got to get this stuff out of here and rent a truck when the time comes. I think it is suppose to be ready on August 5th.

Other than that, nothing much else is going on.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #46 on: July 21, 2008, 09:07:37 PM »
Hi GFs~

Well, I finally made it -- for the time being, anyway.  Yes, I have finally caught up at work and actually had NOTHING to do for the last half hour at the office today.  I reconciled the 80 bank statements that came in for June, I vouchered and entered all of my invoices, I even filed some leftover tax papers.   ;D   Let's keep in mind that I took the week off before the 4th and I put my own work on hold to help Halfwit a co-worker with her work. 

Yes, I work as fast as greased lightning.  I am enjoying the "breather" since we start cross-training tomorrow in our department.   :D

Also, the company is going on a daytrip to Atlantic City on Weds (Camms where are you, lol?).  Its supposed to be rainy, but hey, a day away from the office won't set me back since I am all caught up.  I am REALLY proud of myself, as the work has been non-stop there since early Feb when I started.  I just hope someone notices how much I can shine in my role and compensates me accordingly for it.  Fingers crossed.

My mother is pissing me off, what else is new?  My Dad has a stomach virus and I called to check on him.  Mom answered and said she didn't want to discuss anything.  Um, mountain out of a molehill?  I am just calling to check on my father.....Gheez.  I think she is pissed cause she can't drink as much when he is around.  I have to remember that in her little world, sitting around every day of the week and then going out to the grocery and to get hair done are monumental tasks.  Wish I had that kind of free time and money to burn.  **OK, thanks for letting me vent** but she is being a royal bitch.   >:(

I am going to go read a book I started yesterday, "Duma Key" by Stephen King.

OK, Queen, you win, you look like a rooster but not Buckwheat.   ::)

I say Otay!   :P  At least your niece didn't have you cut a brush outta your hair.  LOL

~ Cindy
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #47 on: July 22, 2008, 08:07:56 AM »
Morning ladies,

Wendy, I was picked on through elementary school also.  I went to private schools through 10th grade, so in the elementary school, it was grades 1-8.  We weren't a wealthy family etc.  When I got into 9th grade, I went a little wild (well, not a little).  1/2 way through 10th grade, I transferred out of the private academy into regular high school because I knew if I didn't they (private academy) were going to kick me out.  Well, just starting 11th grade I got kicked out of high school.  I got busted dealing dope on school property. I suppose I'm lucky they didn't call the law on me.  I always get a little jealous when I hear of people who have had a best friend since jr. high or high school.  All my "friends" in high school were dopers.  I don't know that I had too many self-eteem issues in high school.  I was too high to care I suppose.  I did before that though.  Now, I realize there are other things in life besides looking gorgeous/having the right style etc.  Life is full of so much more than that.  I mean, I don't run around without taking a shower or anything like that.  But, I don't stress over my looks, personality like I used to.  And actually since I've changed my attitude about that, my panic/anxiety attacks have almost completely vanished.  I still get the occasional one, but I can pretty much talk myself down.  It took me a long time to get to this point though.

Queen, sorry about your hearing aid and the hearing in your right ear.  When both your hearing aids work, do you hear pretty clearly?    I'm so glad about the new apartment.  You sound like you're ready to move.  Are you excited to have a place all to yourself again?

Cin, I'm glad your job is going so well.  Atlantic City, aye?  Are you going to go on the boardwalk and try to win big?    I hope your dad feels better soon.  Stomach viruses are such buggers to deal with.

Well, today I start at the Hope.  I'm a little anxious and nervous (I'm not even there yet and I'm nervous).   I just hope everything goes alright.  It's only training, so that shouldn't be too stressful.

This will be the 3rd day without a cigarette.  Please everyone, keep your fingers and legs crossed for this.  I don't want to go back to smoking again.  I've been exercising every morning, and that helps with not wanting to smoke.  I have to adjust some of the exercises though because of my knees, but it's all good.  I keep telling myself it'll pay off in the long run.

Other than that, nothing else going on right now.  I'll report back later when I get back home.  Have a good day ladies.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline minismom

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #48 on: July 22, 2008, 08:10:33 AM »
Good rainy mountain morning to my beautiful lovies!  

Tendai, good to see you back, my darling.  Sorry your vacation wasn't quite a vacation, but, hey, you're back and you're safe - that's what's important.  Big moochies to you, hun!

Queen, CONGRATS on the new apartment.  All the touch-ups and the carpets, will the landlord take care of those before you move in?  Make sure the chemicals are all dried up before the kitties move in.  Walking on them and then licking their paws can make them sick.  Been there, done that, wasn't pretty.

Moon, sounds like you have a drama mama.  My mother-in-law is the same way and it makes me nuts.  At least she's in another country and hates West Virginia..LOL..I'm NEVER moving. :P  Congrats to you, too, at work.  This is the place that still uses typewriters, yes?  Atlantic City, huh.  Are the bosses going to spot you some gambling money?

Last night while Hubby took the kids to Bible School, I had dance practice.  We got asked to do a special concert on Aug. 9th and 10th.  Anyway, while we were there, I had an apiphany.  The teacher said we're moving the studio because the building that we're using now is being condemned for MOLD.  MOLD!!  That totally explains all my breathing problems.  I've never had issues before last October - about a month after I started dancing.  There's no a/c and it's heated with a furnace.  Couple that with the fact we've had the wettest winter / spring in YEARS, a leaky roof, and you've got perfect conditions for mold to grow.  Anyway, I only have 1 more rehersal in the old studio before we move to the new one - mold free - in September.  I'll just take a dose of meds before my next rehersal and I should be fine.

Nothing much on the planning board for today.  We'll go back to VBS tonight.  Before that, I'll probably sit down with my sewing maching and make my skirts and the boys' curtains.  I had outside plans, but it rained all night long and is still pouring.  I have 1 load on the line that I'll have to run out and get.  I may have to break down and put them in the dryer.

Everyone be good and stay cool and dry.  

Much love to you all!
Mum :-*
www.watoto.com
www.MotherBearProject.org
"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline vivyt

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Re: Dating Thread #40: no light without shadow, no love without pain
« Reply #49 on: July 22, 2008, 08:23:53 AM »
Good Morning!

Queen, those crazy cats! LOL! I have had many things ruined/broken by my dogs. We love em so we just say oh well right! I hope you can get it taken care of soon. I know it is kind of a pain to move but it is also exciting to be in a new place.

Cindy, Atlantic City? Never been. If it's anything like Vegas I'm jealous! One of my friends from high school lives in Vegas and I haven't visited in a while

Mum, The publisher of the math curriculum is Harcourt. The state is paying for this training for 4th and 5th grade teachers because it is such a critical year. The state of California is requiring that ALL 8th graders take Algebra. As an educator I know there are going to be big problems. I mean I have kids that come to me that still don't know their multiplication facts and here they are supposed to learn them all in the 3rd grade. Crazy. The math concepts just get harder and harder!

Betty, you can do it! No more smoking!!! :) Enjoy your volunteering today.

Wendy, I am sorry you had a hard time in school. Kids can really be so mean. When I have them they are not really like that. In fact I am amazed at how tolerant they can be. I mean there is always at least one kid who is a jerk but usually after talking to them they snap out of it. Each year we have had a student who, let's just say had some issues, and the kids really deal well with them. I think something happens when puberty hits and peer pressure takes over. I had a wonderful experience all through school and still have friends from then. I guess I am lucky.

Tendai, Nice to hear from you!

If I forgot anyone else...Good Morning!

Well today is another 8 hour day. We get to talk about assessments....Woo Hoo! Not....LOL! Talk to you ladies later!

 


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