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Author Topic: 45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ  (Read 3600 times)

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Offline blind

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45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ
« on: September 06, 2008, 10:01:19 PM »
feel perfectly fine, well physically that is... mentally i'm f@#$ked. been bugging my partner to go to doctor for 4 months. he came home telling me he's POZ and suffers from peripheral neuropathy. we're both waiting for t4 and viral count tests. i think i've read the entire www. on any/all HIV/AIDS related info in the past three days; don't feel better yet. ahh, ignorance was bliss. the big bummer is he's blaming me for his affliction, like i don;t have enough to process. haven't told my folks or my 13 year old daughter and don't think i will. i know i'm now to live life to the fullist but how does one see through the forest ??

Offline komnaes

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  • Posts: 1,899
Re: 45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2008, 11:01:34 PM »
Hi there blind, first welcome to the forums.

Ignorance is definitely not bliss. It's not the 80s or early 90s - we can all do something about the virus although there's still no cure. With new meds and continuing monitoring we can avoid unnecessary opportunistic infections that would have killed a lot of us in the past. Knowing your status is the first step to take control of your life and health in order to live life "the fullest" as you said.

So first thing first - have you found a local health provider? Other than on the internet have you hooked up with any local support groups? It's important to get supports at this stage as you have plenty to process. Trust us - many problems can be resolved and they will be unless you continue to do nothing but hiding.

Whether you tell your family and friends and at what circumstances are something that you need to think about - but perhaps now you don't have to think so much ahead of yourself, especially like how you'd be rejected, etc, because you'd never know how they'd actually react. Look on the bright side. Even though you might think now that there's no way you are going to tell your folks and daughter, as time passes you may change your mind.

Share more if you like.. it's hard and we've all been there.

Hugs, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline BT65

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Re: 45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2008, 02:10:09 PM »
Hey Blind,

Welcome to the forums.  Shaun gave you quite a bit of sage advice.

I would advise you not to obssess over everything you read on the internet about HIV/AIDS.  There's a lot of mis information out there.  The lessons on here are good (up near the top of the page). 

I would suggest contacting your local ASO (Aids Service Organization).  They have people there you can talk to who can give you the "low-down" on a lot of things concerning HIV.  And just in case, they could put you in touch with a good therapist (should ever need be) who has experience with HIV patients.  Also, if you want to meet others who are going through the same things you are, they probably have support group(s) you could consider attending (another good piece of advice from Shaun). 

You definitely don't have to go through this alone; and you're not the only one going through the feelings you have.  It's all normal, everything you're feeling.  Time does heal lots of things.  I'm sorry your partner is being so blaming.  How does he know he's not the one who infected you?  Of course, none of that matters now. What matters is taking charge of your health.  This isn't an instant death sentence like it was in the 80's, early-middle 90's.  Just hang in there and keep in touch with us. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: 45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2008, 04:59:30 PM »
If you can get a someone to talk to.  It can get frustrating going it alone and venting to a professional in the area can be helpful.  Good luck

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline blind

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Opening My Eyes
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2008, 12:52:04 PM »
Hey Shaun, Betty and Red Dragon,
thanks for your sage words of wisdom. i get my lab work on Wednesday... seems so far away. then I'll be off to the doc with a list of questions:

FOR the DOC about HIM:
does he exclusively see HIV/AIDS patients
should an emergency arise are phone calls returned in a reasonable time and by whom
does he have a good referral base
does he participate in ongoing conferences and how often
are the nurse practitioners and PA's considered HIV specialists
is he board certified as an Internest or Infectious Deseases or related

FOR the DOC about ME:
what's my CD-4 / Tcell
what's my VL
do you suggest vitamin supplements
will you recommend a nutritionist
based on CD-4 will I start HAART
blood work is best every 3 or 4 months
will you run a resistance test if my VL is >1000
how are my general chemistry's
will you offer me HGH / Test for weight training
do I need Hep b/c vaccine if I got them in 1999

Too many questions? Did I forget anything else that's pertinent? Or do I just sit back and listen at this time?

Your advise, again, is greatly appreciated. ;D

Offline BT65

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,466
Re: 45 in 2 months, came OUT at 40, just tested POZ
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2008, 02:59:46 PM »
Blind, remember, if you're newly infected, your CD4s and viral load will bounce around for a bit.  You've got to look at a trend in your labs, not just one set.

Dotors are required to attend conferences every year to get what's called CEU's (continuing education units).  If they didn't, they wouldn't have their licenses too long.

Good luck.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow


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