Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 29, 2014, 06:22:46 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23344
  • Latest: TML1991
Stats
  • Total Posts: 636586
  • Total Topics: 48316
  • Online Today: 195
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Is it possible to be too accepting???  (Read 2184 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Philly1972

  • Member
  • Posts: 40
Is it possible to be too accepting???
« on: July 16, 2008, 12:05:45 PM »
First of all, thanks to everyone who responded to my story with their support.  I will be coming back here for a long, long time and I think we are going to get to know each other pretty well!

This is not going to sound right....in fact I don't feel right saying it, but somehow I feel better (happier, more alive, more energy) now than I did before getting the big news.  Lately (past several months), I've been a little bored with my life - over the last few years I've had some big life changing events going on - new job, selling my house, buying a condo, moving to the city, decorating new condo, traveling for work - but lately, nothing - work is slow and I've felt trapped and bored in a routine.  Now don't get me wrong, I wish it were something else, but I do feel like this has made life exciting again (I know how that sounds and I don't know how else to say it).  I've become a bit obsessed (as I tend to do) with HIV and health/fitness - learning as much as I can, reading, taking notes, organizing info, nutrition, exercise....I feel like I've just been assigned project manager to a really great project.  I signed up for yoga classes, eat even better and exercise even more than before.  I've always been a "social" smoker and smoked on weekends, but this past weekend I didn't.  I feel challenged - and I love a challenge.  Although in the back of my mind I keep thinking I'm going to beat this.  Last night I went for a run and was showering after and thought that the run was getting a little boring - then I thought, OMG, if I'm getting bored now, how the hell am I gonna keep this up for 25+ years???  I'm used to projects coming to an end and not lasting the rest of my life!  It's not a new piece of exercise of equipment that I can become bored with and make into a clothes rack in the corner, as usually is the case.  After all, it is summer when it is easier to do stuff outside and fruits and veggies are abundant.  How do I keep up this motivation in the winter.....in a year....in 10 years.....in 20 years.....and what happens when I realize that I can't beat this and numbers start going down?  I guess I'll take it one day at a time and deal with that when that day gets here....for now, I feel great!  So far I've only gotten the CD4 #s back and they were good....I'm nervous about the others (particularly the resistance test), but optimistic.  My next appnt is July 28th and Dr. said he will draw blood again to see where things are moving....I KNOW I can get those CD4/CD8 numbers up! 

In fact the only time I get down about this is when I think about relationships and dating and how this is going to make it so much harder.  I did have sex last weekend and couldn't enjoy it (or perform)....even though there was protection, I kept thinking "what if I infect this guy"?   So healthwise I'm not one bit worried (right now) that this is going to "get" me....socially speaking is a different story.

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,912
Re: Is it possible to be too accepting???
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2008, 12:43:28 PM »
Philly1972,

You sound like you're running a marathon when you post.  Wow, you've got a lot of energy.  Which is good.  Better than laying around not being able to do anything.  It sounds like you're taking the right steps with yourself to ensure continued good health.  BTW, what were your CD4's?  Did you also have a viral load done?   

Don't worry about 10 years or 25 years.  Sometimes it's tedious enough to deal with the day at hand.  You're not living in the distant future and right now have no control over specific things that may happen between then and now.  Just slow down a bit, take a few deep breaths, and try to find fulfilling things to do right now.  Glad you're keeping in touch.  You may want to post further subjects in "Living With," as you may get more responses there.
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Philly1972

  • Member
  • Posts: 40
Re: Is it possible to be too accepting???
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2008, 01:31:34 PM »
Yes, Betty...to say that I have allot of energy is an understatement.  I feel more alive and energetic at 36 with HIV than I did at 26 without??????  I'm f**ked up! ???  My CD4 was 694 and ratio to CD8 was 1.1.  Personally I think it was lower because I had a very stressful weekend dealing with the new news, did not sleep much, partied, drank, smoked and ate all the wrong things....I'm confident that's gonna go up.  The VL & resistance results won't be in for another week or so....hopefully by the 28th so I can discuss with the doctor at my next appnt.

I just hope this momentum continues....

Offline justakuntrygul

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
Re: Is it possible to be too accepting???
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2008, 09:11:57 PM »
Great attitude, but reality will set in soon. You're thinking HIV...another big thing in my life when really it's good and bad at the same time.  HIV is just another reason to get on a great diet plan and workout.  I've always been overweight..and I still am. AT age 25 and my bf who infected me is now 38 I feel that when I heard the news Iwas overdoing it, but now I feel as if it's ok to sneak and eat sometimes, because in the back of my head I have that image of HIV=skinny when that is not at all the case at times.  I'm starting to not take life as serious as I used to.  I'm thinking hell I have the worse thing ever! I have HIV!  Then again HIV has made my life crazy.  Sometimes I forget that I even have it, because like you my health is still good, but what if one day I get those symptoms.  I haven't had the cold sweats, breakouts, dramatic diarrhea, or any weight lost.  Instead I gained a couple of pounds which is weirding my bf out, because he is steadily loosing weight.  He's drinking milkshakes that supposedly make you gain weight now so we are goingto see if that works.  He works out a lot as well...well he walks a lot, so he is always going to have the surfer boy look.  Just that lately his energy level is going up and down. Some nites he's up for it and some nights both of us ends up sleeping before we give each other kisses goodnite lol...take care and keep doing what you're doing..think positive while living positive!

Offline wow1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 208
Re: Is it possible to be too accepting???
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2008, 08:59:20 AM »
I wouldn't worry about your relationships and dating. Regardless of your status relationships are hard. If it weren't this, there woudl be another challenge. My partner is negative. We met before I found out my status and the relationship has lasted and strengthened as a result of HIV. I love him more than I would have thought possible. I also have no doubt he loves me.

We just use protection and continue having sex ... and it's great sex. Why? Because I trust him and I love him and that makes it great. Last weekend we went out and got our committment ceremony rings (his idea).

Our biggest issues so far have little to do with HIV. I doubt that they ever will.

I tell you this because HIV is not the end of your love life. It's just another bump in the difficult Relationship Highway. Just relax and let things happen. Considering you just found out, it's probably not the best time to be looking for a boyfriend. Give yoursself some breathing space to get used to this. I've found that it's a life altering event (am I preaching to the choir here LOL?).

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.