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Author Topic: Brief Unprotected Insertive Anal  (Read 36 times)

Doctor_love and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

Online Doctor_love

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Brief Unprotected Insertive Anal
« on: Yesterday at 11:49:08 PM »
Greetings Andy, Ann, and friends - your work is very appreciated.  I'll try to get to the point and only add a little background.  After years of irresponsible sexual behavior (lots of unprotected sex with women), I was lucky enough STOP drinking, join a 12 Step Program, and test negative last October.  I should also say that I've remained sober, behaved myself, and dated a gal for a few months.  After we broke up in June, I tested for HIV again - it was negative (this was just four weeks ago). 

In the past, I've dated some transsexuals as well, and I thought I'd try again. This time with a sober attitude and looking for more than a mere hookup.  I went on a dating site, and met someone who was also looking for a relationship - not just just a one night stand. I'll use the pronoun "he" to describe the transsexual, simply because of biological gender (no offense intended to any transgender readers)  We texted back a few days, chatted on the phone, and really connected.   A few nights later, we met in public, connected just as well, and  went back to my place to watch a DVD and hangout.  We were both seemingly serious about our health, and I showed him my papers of a negative result.  He assured me that he would email his doctor and get a copy of his recent negative result as well (he told me he tested at the beginning of this month,  was HIV negative, and  hadn't been with anyone else- and that his health was very important to him).  So, I trusted him.  And thus far, I was proud of myself for being proactive about my health. We began kissing, which led to mutual oral sex (he didn't ejaculate, but there was some precum).  Thus far, I considered this NO risk.  After some oral, he asked me to penetrate him, I broke out some lube ... and although I trusted him, I put on a condom as well.  I penetrated him for a bit; but alas, I couldn't maintain my erection.  I removed my condom and entered his anus for around 20-30 seconds probably (gentle, not rough movements).  I totally trusted him, but I came to my senses, pulled out, and washed off.  He proceeded to please me orally.  I suggested that we go to a local pharmacy and purchase an Oraquick test so we could just  assure each other of our status right there.  He became offended - wondering why I wouldn't trust him - he assured me he'd send the results by email ASAP. 

Anyway, I took him back home and we were excited to see each other again.  At this point, I wasn't too concerned about my exposure because I truly did believe him.  I'm also circumcised and again, the unprotected penetration was VERY brief and I noticed no blood, abrasions, etc.  The next day, I texted him and asked if he spoke with his doctor - he claimed he was still waiting to get his negative results sent by the doc via email.  Anyway, things began to get strange - he started to get irritated with me.  He told me he would have to wait until next week (this was last Thursday - it's Sunday night now).  I spoke to him on the phone and just suggested that we test at a free anonymous site by my house - they test every Sunday.  I told him that would be healthy for us, since we talked about being exclusive.  He objected.  So, LONG story (sorry I'm so wordy) short, I ended up telling him that I was having a problem trusting him - that I was confused about his defensiveness.  That's when he dropped the bomb:  The last person he was with, he claimed, was positive.  According to him, he had TRULY tested at the beginning of July ... and  was clean for STD's when he checked with doctor two weeks after the blood draw, but his HIV tests were not ready yet.  And, this was making him nervous. So, he lied to me.  Not only was he NOT negative, but he is waiting for results which he thinks may, indeed, be positive.

Thanks for reading this ... needless to say, I'm beginning to climb the walls.  I took another baseline Oraquick yesterday (which was Saturday - three days post exposure with him) and it was negative.  So now it's the waiting game.  I'm  still in touch with him, and he says he's waiting for the results and will let me know ASAP.  But at this point, I'm just going to assume that he's already positive - there have just been too many lies.  I'm nervous - and considering getting a PCR from my doc.  I didn't think PEP was necessary, but not I'm wondering if I should have tried to get it (too late now).  So, assuming he was positive, my exposure is oral sex without ejaculation (but tasted precum) and about 20 seconds or so of unprotected insertive anal.  Any feedback you could give me would REALLY help - thanks in advance.  I just can't believe that NOW that I'm sober and trying to make healthy choices that this is happening ... perhaps it's Karma - who knows.
« Last Edit: Today at 12:06:19 AM by Doctor_love »

Online Joe K

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Re: Brief Unprotected Insertive Anal
« Reply #1 on: Today at 12:11:43 AM »
Oral sex is not a risk for infection, however your unprotected anal intercourse is a risk.  While it is harder to transmit HIV to the top, the only way to know your status is to test at 6 weeks past this exposure and then at 3 months for confirmation.  Any tests you take before the 6 week mark, will be wasted, because you have to wait the proper amount of time before testing.

You should always assume that the other person is positive and act accordingly.  You should be using condoms for all penetrative sex, every time, no exceptions.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start.  As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV.  Some of the other STDs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!


Online Doctor_love

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Re: Brief Unprotected Insertive Anal
« Reply #2 on: Today at 12:18:13 AM »
Thanks Joe -  the last thing I want to do is sound unappreciative for your prompt response.  I guess I'm just wondering if I can breathe a bit easier (considering the VERY short duration - 20-30 seconds max, the fact that I have no abrasions, and the fact I noticed no blood, etc) as opposed to, let's say, having unprotected sex all night. I won't fail to follow the testing procedure - and again, I appreciate this site for all the information.  Just curious about my "chances of infection" while I try to wait this out.

Online Joe K

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Re: Brief Unprotected Insertive Anal
« Reply #3 on: Today at 12:24:20 AM »
As I mentioned, it is harder to transmit HIV to the top, so that is in your favor as well as the brief duration of the intercourse.  It puts the risk on the low side, but low risk is not the same as no risk, so you will need to test.  Personally, I think you will be fine, but only testing at the appropriate time can determine your status.



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