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Author Topic: Bachleor Party Nightmare  (Read 3136 times)

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Offline worriedB

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Bachleor Party Nightmare
« on: July 12, 2008, 05:20:15 PM »
Hey all! First I would like to say that this site is fantastic.
I know my story is lenghty, but it's more than just receiving oral sex.
Well here's my situation.  A few years ago on my bachelor party, my party and I ended up at a strip club.  Now being drunk and way out of character, I engaged in protected and unprotected oral,  with a stripper, but in this case you could say CSW, and seeing how my party paid for a BJ and thats what I was told.  They eventually after several refusals coaxed me into it, and I only argeed because there was suppose to be a condom used.  Well she started off by putting the condom on, but at the end of the episode(no ejaculation) I notice the condom wasn't on.  I did feel it in the beginning specifically the ring of the condom on my shaft so I know it was there in the beginning, and she even told me exactly when it was going to be placed on.  Anyhow, I freaked out at the end when I notice that the condom was not on.  Having been drunk it was very hard to tell that it was there.  She then tells me she took it off because she "can't stand the taste of condoms." She could tell I was beginning to worry and she then told me that I had nothing to worry about, that she had a boyfriend and all that, but that doesn't really mean anything.  So I worried for a while, but being knowledgable enough to know that uprotected BJ's do not transmit the HIV virus. I was able to move on.

Now this is where the scare comes.  My wife, has supposedly tested positive for Lyme disease.  She has never seen or felt a tick bite.  Her test result revealed a low level of exposure, but enough to go on treatment.  SO she is thinking about a false positive, so we research it, and it says that an HIV positive person could trigger a false positive on the ELIZA lyme disease test.  So automatically my anxiety is through the roof!!!!!!!!   Now I'm thinking that maybe i could have potentially had unprotected vaginal sex with the stripper.  I honestly don't think so, because I really didn't black out per say, but it just makes me very worried.  I havent been able to sleep, depressed, worried about insurance, my wife not letting me see our daughter, just straight up scared of this.    I've been looking at the worst case scenerios in this situation, me engaging in uprotected sex.  Now say I did, but I really don't think I did, what are the chances an insertive partner contracts HIV from a one time incident of unprotected sex?  One DR on a HIV related site said that he has seen many male test positive, but only after they have been exposed through repeated exposures.  Having been in regular relationships.  But never from a one time exposure.  Does this sound correct????  Also, why isn't PEP recommended for all potential vaginal exposures?   I'm sure mine situation would have not recommended it.
Thank you for your time!!
Andy, Ann, Matt  and everyone! all of your advice and comments would be greatly appreciated!!


WB








Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2008, 05:27:56 PM »
Jeeez.

Look, you can't contract HIV from receiving a blow-job. Doesn't matter who gives it to you. You can't contract HIV from a blow-job. Unless something else has gone on you've not told us about, you and your wife don't have to be concerned about HIV from this.

HIV is a fragile virus which is difficult to transmit, particularly from female to male through vaginal sex. PEP is only (or should only be) used when one partner is known to be HIV positive and there was a real and present risk of transmisison, ie anal or vaginal sex or sharing contaminated injecting equipment.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2008, 05:35:24 PM »
You also need to know that in the entire history of HIV epidemic no case of transmission has ever been confirmed to a guy from getting a blowjob. Not one! And you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Whatever is going with your wife, whether it's lyme disease or something else, it is absolutely not HIV.

You're worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

Offline worriedB

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2008, 06:18:22 PM »
Thanks Matty and Andy for the prompt reply.  What I've told you is what I remember.  I only remember the protected and unproctected oral.  My questions were really based on the "what if, " because i was intoxicated.  It just kills me that I did this, so out of character, and behind wife's back.  Thanks again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2008, 06:46:07 PM »
This forum does not do "what ifs."

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2008, 07:51:36 AM »
Well, mixing alcohol and casual sex is a mighty dangerous combination. And something definitely to be avoided.

Allowing yourself to indulge in "what ifs" and feeding your lingering suspicions is a very bad idea.

Take a breath and get on with your life. You don't have an HIV problem. Period.

 
Andy Velez

Offline worriedB

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2008, 08:51:58 AM »
Thanks again Andy for your comments.  I'm trying to stay confident, and focused.  It's just with this recent test my wife had made me have some doubt on what had happend that night.  I know alcohol and sex with random people is a recipe for a disaster.  I will obivious avoid this in the future.  Thank you very much for your taking the time to answer my questions, I appreciate it. 

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Back again, apologies
« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2013, 10:20:05 AM »
I want to first begin by apologizing for not being able to remember my password, and now that I have a new email, I could not retrieve it. 

My story was about 5 years ago (here) about my nightmare of a bachelor party.  Well, with recent anxiety and that fact that I was drunk that night I decided to test using the in home oral swab test. The only thing I remember that night was unprotected oral. Now with the knowledge I have and with info from many here, I was able to move on. I've taken the test 3 times in the last 6 months, and all were negative, not even a faint line next to the "t" area.   But, the fact that I was intoxicated, and really can't guarantee that there was no penetrative vaginal sex, I decided to take this test.  The "potential" exposure would have been about 8-9 years ago.  Here are my questions, and I thank you all for your replies, and taking the time out of your already busy lives.  Here are my questions:


After 8-9 years, would these three (3) negatives be considered conclusive?
Would this be considered late infection and now are all false negatives?

Thank you again for your valuable time.

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Back again, apologies
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2013, 10:30:49 AM »
You are not allowed to have multiple accounts , what was the user name on your old account account and I will direct you to it ? . 

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Re: Back again, apologies
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2013, 10:43:52 AM »
Jeff,
Sorry for the inconvenience, the old name was "worriedB."

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2013, 11:02:36 AM »
You are not allowed two accounts , so that will be fixed in due time . You have already used your three questions but I will go as far to say that you are HIV negative and can count on your negative test results as accurate .

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2013, 11:12:30 AM »
Thanks again Jeff,

This is a such a relief!  I believed I had a seven day subscription and could write within the thread for seven days?  Not sure if that applies anymore.


Thanks again!!!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #12 on: May 01, 2013, 07:25:48 AM »
Worried,

ONLY because 1) you were honest about your previous account and 2) you took out a subscription before you posted with your new account, I will simply disable your original account and leave you with your new account.

Keep your password safe and easy to remember this time because if you create yet another account, you WILL be permanently banned. We take multiple accounts very seriously here - and you've been coming here long enough to know that.

Yes, you can post as long as your subscription lasts - however, be warned that the excessive posting rule (see the Welcome Thread) will still apply.



Provided you have not had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse in the three months before your last test, you are conclusively hiv negative.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week or more negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

You are conclusively negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2013, 07:46:51 AM »
Ann,

Thank you for letting me continue to post for the time being.  I promise not to continue to post excessively.  Hopefully this is my last question as I'm trying to move on.  Do your closing remarks pertain to my current situation?

"Provided you have not had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse in the three months before your last test, you are conclusively hiv negative.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week or more negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

You are conclusively negative. "

Thanks again.  I'm just trying to move on from this.

WB

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #14 on: May 01, 2013, 07:50:59 AM »
Worried,

Of course my closing remarks relate to your latest posts - but you're still fretting about a NO RISK BLOWJOB that happened years ago at a bachelor party. Give it up man, you didn't get hiv from that night.

You are conclusively hiv negative. Get on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #15 on: May 01, 2013, 01:20:32 PM »
Ann/All,

Sorry I'm not trying to be a pain.  I do understand that the BJ is non factor. I just couldn't guarantee that there was no penetrative sex, as I was intoxicated. After 8-9 years I took the in home oral test, and was wondering if I could consider those 3 negatives as conclusive?  I've just read a few posts and concerns of others and it being late infections (8-9) years and the oral test not picking up antibodies.  I took these 3 in home tests within the last 6 months and it's been 8-9 years after the incident.  No additional exposures. Again not, trying to be major pain, just wanting to move on with hopefully these conclusive results.

Thanks again,
WB

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #16 on: May 01, 2013, 01:46:16 PM »
You are being a major pain to yourself . We gave you the gift of absolute reassurance that you are HIV negative but you will not except it . Its like you really want to have aids and we wont let you .

Don't misinterpret my tone , Im only talking to you this way because you need to hear it .

HIV isn't your problem , you are obsessing over something that you have repeatably tested negative from , the fact that its almost been a decade and you cant except the news that you do not have Aids is very telling . You need to get into therapy to deal with your obsession on this issue .

It doesn't matter if you bought a subscription , we have nothing to do with that . We can not let you go on and on about this because its not good for you ... plain and simple .

I do want an update from you , I want to hear that you have made an appointment with a therapist or councilor . It may seem like I am being harsh with you , I promise from the bottom of my heart that Im not and if you follow through on what I have asked you to do you will thank me some day .   
   

Offline WorriedBAgain

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2013, 07:48:46 AM »
Jeff,

I truly and sincerely value your advice, and do not disagree, I do need therapy and will seek it.  With all this information it has become very overwhelming.  Maybe I'm just stuck on the validity of those oral tests, and reading the info of testing late may cause a false negative that may have lead me to these current feelings.  Again, I want to thank you for all that you have done, you are a wonderful person!



WB

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Bachleor Party Nightmare
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2013, 10:01:30 AM »
We're not going to continue an endless round of doubts and fears with you about HIV, none of which have any basis in HIV science. If you can't let go of your unwarranted concerns about HIV then get some professional help as has been suggested. We cannot help you with that in this setting. All we can say with certainty is that at this point HIV is not your problem. Period.
Andy Velez

 


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