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Author Topic: I cant cry,ny mom is disapointedin me, my partner doesen't want sex, no friends,  (Read 5989 times)

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Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Hello, this is my story: Last year was really bad for me. I Kept getting sick and depressed. In Nov i found out I"m infected. Cd4 was at 3. This year I started taking med and my cd4 IS AT 279. I told my partner first and then m y mom. She cried and cried. What can I do? She said that she didn't hate me just real dissapointed. Then my partner doesnt want sex. What  can I do? I have no friends so I have noone to talk to?

Offline pozniceguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,181
  • Niceguy Dallas
Sorry about your situation...welcome to the best place you could find for support and reliable information......there are many people on here who have been where you are now  and I am sure they will chime in soon....try to get your partner and Mom to read some of the "lessons"  it should help with understanding and may help with the relationships...

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,213
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Hello vejgeta9, and welcome to the forums. 

First of all I'd say you should take comfort in the fact that you've climbed from 3 to 279 cd4 in a year of diagnosis/treatment -- that's actually quite good.  Many people take much longer to do this.

Secondly, it's unfortunate that the two people that you need for support in your first year aren't living up to your expectations.  That's a tricky one.  I agree with Nick that that they may need some education, and you can help them with that but you must be educated first to assist them.  It may help with your partner for both of you to seek some sort of joint counseling -- is your partner wary of sex because of perceived health/infection issues on his part, or is he just laying on a guilt trip?  Do you live somewhere that you have access to such counseling services?

It would probably help the board if you could tell us some more detail about the specific sticking points with both your partner and your mother.  What exactly have the conversations been with them and what have your responses been?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Sorry cant type to great... I used to could type 35 to 45 wpm but now... My partner in his words 'has alot on his mind now' and I cant but help think its me. Then theres my worry about possibly infecting him. I can't work because I can't consentrate.due to a brain problem that came up...  I don't know what to do.. Im so depressed..

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,213
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
So what about accessing some therapy for yourself first -- you didn't answer my question about that.  Do you live somewhere that this is available for you?  If you're so depressed that you're not able to deal with the partner/mother issues it would greatly help you to seek out something like that.  You need to have your head really clear to move up to that partner/mother problem.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Yes there is a place for help, but thats not the issue. As far as your question, we talk ax=bout alot of things, Mostly I hear "What did I tell you about him"... shit like tat for mom.

Offline OutOfDarkness

  • Member
  • Posts: 90
Welcome Vejgeta!
It's very difficult in the beginning.  I've had similar problems and now looking back the best thing I did was look for support by asking my doctors and nurses.  You have to ask a lot of questions and you have to learn a lot about so much and it may seem overwhelming, because it is!  Try to take one step at a time and worry about yourself and not others right now.  This is also a great place to check into for educating yourself about the disease and learning from others.  You will be ok.
2000 - seroconverted
2005 - cd4 350, VL 113,000
3/06 - started sustiva/truvada
3/08 - cd4 1,300 VL >50(undet.)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
Hey Vej,

I've read this whole thread.  You say getting yourself some counseling is not the issue, but I think it would help you immensely.  Like Philly said, you really have to deal with your depression before you can tackle the other problems in your life.  It sounds like you really could use the help, and I urge you to get it.  I've been in therapy myself for quite awhile and it's been invaluable.

Congratulations on your immune system's response to treatment.  It sounds like that's going very well.  Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
  Luv,
Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline FutureX

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Vej,

Do you live in a small town? I hate to hear you have no one to talk to


Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Its kinda of a small town. I stay in Fresno, Ca.

Offline FutureX

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
I guess this is another instance where I should have more gratitude than I do with my life,
I live in the Washington DC area and every 3rd person is poz it seems!
I wish there was something more than moral support I could do for you, but all I can say is just try, it does get better, with time.

Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
I'm  happy with that

I feel like everyone knows and their whispering about me

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,897
SO WHAT! if "they," whoever they are, do know and are whispering about you?

Is this how you're going to run your life? Guessing, wondering and worrying what others MIGHT be saying about you! What a way to make yourself nutz, no kidding.

As I see it the important things are what do you want and how to make them happen. 

Andy Velez

Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
mY THOUGHS  used to be that way.....

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,897
...and they can be again. No matter how down or discouraged you may feel,, it's amazing how taking even one positive action each day can get things going again. Just one little step that makes you feel better even for a moment. Those moments add up. But it does mean you have to be willing even when you are not feeling so great.

Andy Velez

Offline vejgeta9

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
cd4 is 400 +!!

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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