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Author Topic: Handjob Fears  (Read 9737 times)

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Offline cinemascopic

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  • Posts: 4
Handjob Fears
« on: July 12, 2008, 10:40:48 AM »
Eight days ago I received a hand job from a man of unknown HIV status. I don't know if he had any precum on his hand but I am terrified if he did. I have a condition called hypospadia where my urethral opening is on the underside of my penis, exposing the urethra. I posted on medhelp and Dr. Handsfield said that it doesn't matter. I'm not at risk no matter whether or not he had precum on his hand and no matter the condition of my penis. He said that no one has ever contracted HIV through a hand job and I would not be the first. I'm terrified still because I don't understand the reasoning of why I have nothing to fear. Is it because HIV would have died in the time before he touched my skin? It would have been a matter of seconds before he touched my penis. About two days ago I thought my anxiety was waning but then I started having dizzy spells, a little fever, night sweats, and fatigue. All i want to do is sleep. I've restarted taking lexapro and xanax, so maybe that is causing my symptoms, but I am just terrified. Can I get tested at the two week mark? Am I so caught up in terrorizing anxiety that I can't see rationally?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2008, 11:44:31 AM »
The Dr. was correct, you were never at risk of contracting HIV via a handjob.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2008, 04:19:03 PM »
Cin, you are worrying needlessly. HIV is a fragile virus which requires a very receptive setting in which to be transmitted. Unprotected vaginal or anal sex provide that kind of setting.

A handjob, even if it's dripping with the other person's cum or precum or any variations on that scenario absolutely don't provide the necessary setting for transmission. We'd have known long before today if it was a risk since that's a very common sexual activity.

No record exists of any confirmed cases of transmission in that manner and you aren't going to make history by becoming the first. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline cinemascopic

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2008, 11:45:26 PM »
Thank you for responding. I have one follow up. Is that because the hiv virus dies when exposed to air so even though I have an exposed urethral opening, the virus would have died before making contact with me?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2008, 03:44:12 AM »
HIV is not transmitted outside its host.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2008, 07:45:13 AM »
The virus is fragile. It very quickly becomes ineffective when exposed to air. So even with your particular situation and an "exposed urethra," you would not be at risk in the kind of situation you have described. However, it does make it even more essential that you use a condom if you have either vaginal or anal intercourse and are the insertive partner.

This time you are worrying needlessly. 
Andy Velez

Offline cinemascopic

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2008, 10:12:48 PM »
Thank you both so much for responding. You are dealing with some very anxious peope on here and you are very kind and decent to spend your time putting people at ease. In my case, as someone with diagnosed OCD, you have contributed mightily toward easing my fears. I won't say I'm completely over my worries, but you have helped me move in that direction.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2008, 10:29:11 PM »
I'm glad you found our exchanges here to be helpful. Fortunately feelings are not facts. And the facts grounded in HIV science are that you have absolutely no basis to be concerned about HIV in relation to the incident that brought you here.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline cinemascopic

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2008, 11:33:51 PM »
Please forgive my remaining anxiety. I was looking at the transmission section of the welcome thread and it says that transmission happens through open cuts, sores, or mucuous membranes. Given my particular condition, that I have an exposed urethra, I started to panic again. I guess I just don't really understand transmission. Is it the case that transmission never happens outside of the body? Does the virus actually die outside the body or is it just weakened but could still infect another person? The transmission section also says that uncircumsized men are more likely to transmit the virus and the man who gave me a handjob was uncircumsized. Does that mean he was more likely to have had the virus?

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2008, 04:39:28 AM »
The answers are not going to change, you did not have a risk of contracting HIV from a handjob hypospadia or not.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob Fears
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2008, 07:49:25 AM »
You're hanging out in the domain of what ifs and maybes. Yes, transmission theoretically could occur in the ways you have read about in the lesson. Those are mentioned in the lesson as possible means of transmission. But in the real world of HIV we know it doesn't happen that way.

It is true that uncircumcized men are at higher risk because the foreskin is an additional means of transmission. But having a foreskin does not mean the man  you were with is HIV+. And in any case, masturbaton, singly or mutually is absolutely NOT a risk for transmission. Again, HIV is a fragile virus and once it hits the air it immediately becomes less viable.

You are worrying needlessly. Really.

Move on with your life.
Andy Velez

 


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