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Author Topic: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!  (Read 4826 times)

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Offline raroy273

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FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« on: July 07, 2008, 04:37:32 PM »
I tried to do something nice for my Grandparents 55th anniversay, but my Dad's Sister ruins it.  I am at the point that I dont want to see her again or be at any function that she will be attending.  The phrase she is upset over is "This is not an optional even."  The only reason I put that is, is because a family member told me that they did not want to participate.  The idea of all of us (22 mind you) in all black would look worse then the 6 familes.  Two colors never to wear when takeing pictures....white and black.  Below is the email that I sent and the one she sent back to me.  I dont even know how to respond to her or if I should.  I am livid!!!!!



Ryan,
There is no need to talk to me this way.  We have NO problem having our picture taken with the family but I think you might take a different attitude when asking people.  When Nana told us about getting our picture taken together, everyone thought it was a great idea. 
As for colors, our family will be wearing black.  To have that many people in one picture and all those colors -- I think it will be a bit much.  Your family may wear what they want.
Aunt Gloria
 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ryan Roy
Subject: Family Pictures


This year marks Nana and Papa's 55th Anniversary and I thought that it would be nice to have a family picture taken.  This is not an optional event.  We will be heading to Portrait Innovations in Superior.  What I need from you all right now is your schedules, most likely we will do this on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Attire:  Casual, NO SHORTS, NO T-SHIRTS w/ graphics or sayings.  Acceptable attire is polo shirts, jeans, khaki's.  Please dress your family in the same color, so we should have 6 different colors to represent the 6 different families.  If you have questions about anything please contact myself or Christine.  Please pass this email along to anyone that I do not have an email address for. 

 Congratulations to Nana and Papa on 55 years together! 

6/8/07 VL = 86,000 CD4 = 135
6/14/07 Started Combivir/Kaletra
6/29/07 VL = 364 CD4 = 351
8/30/07 VL =<50 CD4 = 156
9/19/07 VL=<50 CD4 = 361
12/3/07 VL = <50 CD4 = 250 14.3%
5/2/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 491 25%
8/4/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 292 21%
9/8/08 VL = <50 CD4= 331

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2008, 04:42:52 PM »
Honey,

If this is the sort of thing is what makes you livid, then no you shouldn't respond to your aunty.

MtD

Offline MarcoPoz

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2008, 04:45:48 PM »
Color-coded families and dress codes for pictures...hmmm...anyone ever suggest a bit of 'un-clenching'?  I tease because I love ;-)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2008, 04:52:59 PM »
No Marco, you tease because you're right. The whole colour coding thing has me more than a bit icked out too.

Ryan, the idea of a family portrait for your rapidly aging grandparents is a lovely one. The idea that each branch of your family has to be colour coded is, frankly, more than just a bit creepy. One would presume that your elderly relatives are already able to tell their kin one from another so I can't see why you'd want to do this.

And if you think we're being inappropriate or less than sensitive by pointing this out to you, remember you posted it in a public forum and invited comment so really you're getting what you asked for.

MtD

Offline BT65

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2008, 04:54:40 PM »
Raroy, I'm not trying to upset you further, but we don't (and can't) control other people.  Let it go and have a good time with your grandparents.  This is really about them, afterall.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline raroy273

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2008, 04:54:49 PM »
Color-coded families and dress codes for pictures...hmmm...anyone ever suggest a bit of 'un-clenching'?  I tease because I love ;-)

Thanks Marco!  Just did not want them showing up in shorts and seeing hairry legs (nothing wrong w/ em, but not family members! YUCK!) or a tee-shirt with a skull on it.  And yes, that side of the family would do that.  
6/8/07 VL = 86,000 CD4 = 135
6/14/07 Started Combivir/Kaletra
6/29/07 VL = 364 CD4 = 351
8/30/07 VL =<50 CD4 = 156
9/19/07 VL=<50 CD4 = 361
12/3/07 VL = <50 CD4 = 250 14.3%
5/2/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 491 25%
8/4/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 292 21%
9/8/08 VL = <50 CD4= 331

Offline raroy273

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2008, 05:01:09 PM »
This is really about them, afterall.

True.  I need to focus on them.  Took it as a personal attack from her. 

Matty,

The color coded thing was chosen because we did it for my Mom's side a few years ago and it came out really nice.  Was a neat visual effect seeing how many family were represented from the two of them.  It is more for others to see how the family has grown.  And I fully expected and appreciate the bluntness and honesty from all of you.  Sometimes this is what I need and from an outside source. 
6/8/07 VL = 86,000 CD4 = 135
6/14/07 Started Combivir/Kaletra
6/29/07 VL = 364 CD4 = 351
8/30/07 VL =<50 CD4 = 156
9/19/07 VL=<50 CD4 = 361
12/3/07 VL = <50 CD4 = 250 14.3%
5/2/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 491 25%
8/4/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 292 21%
9/8/08 VL = <50 CD4= 331

Offline Basquo

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2008, 06:47:14 PM »
I do like the color-coding idea, because it will be easy for them to show their friends and say, "..and the ones in green are Ryan's family..." but your tone was a little demanding. 

That being said, your aunt's response, especially the "no need to talk to me this way," tells me that she knows exactly what her brood is capable of, and she feels guilty about it. She feels singled out because it's true. If you do respond, you might gently explain that you were talking to everybody, not just her. But since she's basically said they'll be there, maybe you should just let it be. Let them wear black. Let them be floating heads for Nana and Papa.
« Last Edit: July 07, 2008, 07:45:04 PM by Basquo »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2008, 07:01:48 PM »
Would it help to think of the ones in black as dead? Just asking....

The important thing is to get the photo. Let the colors fall where they may....

Hope you have a good time!
Andy Velez

Offline PeteNYNJ

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2008, 07:57:59 PM »
Ryan

Don't sweat it.  I come from a drama family too and if you let everyone upset you, you will just be upset all the time.  I am sure your Grandparents just want a drama free day so take the high road.  I know it is annoying but if they want to look like assholes in the picuture just let them.  That is why God invented Photoshop.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2008, 08:45:59 PM »
Honestly, if one of my relatives sent me a note demanding I participate a family photo session, not only telling me what not to wear but enforcing a color code, I would send flowers congratulating the happy couple with my regrets that I would be unable to attend.

Offline Robert

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2008, 08:52:04 PM »

The idea that each branch of your family has to be colour coded is, frankly, more than just a bit creepy. One would presume that your elderly relatives are already able to tell their kin one from another so I can't see why you'd want to do this.
MtD

Actually I think this is a pretty good idea.  I had never thought of it before (which isn't too unusual in itself).  If his family is anything like my family, these big family photo ops tend to linger and be handed down from time to time.  I have a picture of my mother and her family,  her brother and his family, my grandparents and a  bunch of other people.  They're all family but I have no idea how we are all related or who is related to whom.

robert
..........

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2008, 09:02:00 PM »
My mom had a bunch of sisters, the oldest ones raised the youngest ones because the parents died.  My mom was raised by one of her sisters and had a niece who was close to her age, she has a daughter my age and we are inseparable.  She has an Aunt on her fathers side of the family who is also near our age.

It was not unusual for us to be in the first grade together and talking to our Aunt Linda who was in the second grade.

The day after my mothers funeral, my sister showed up with a truck and cleaned out our parents house, she took alll the photos.  That was 20 years agpo and I have never seen a one of them.  There were two pictures of my mom and all of her sisters.  One was taken in the early 50's and I took the other.

Watch the family now because when the elder members of the family die, the holy one can certainly load a truck fast.   ;D

When the cousin who was raised with my mom died, her children went on the war path.  I was hired by the Trust to type 36 notebooks of conversation and all activity within the Trust.  After 10 years, the Trustee is terrified to leave her house because of the treats on her life by her brother and his children.

On that side of the family, there was a huge Family Reunion, much like yours and a big family photo.  It was outdoor and summer, they were all casual.

My fathers family had a reunion and I was told not to come.  ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2008, 09:09:38 PM »
Ryan

Don't sweat it.   That is why God invented Photoshop.

OMFG, you can be in the picture without being there and change everyones clothes.

I was asked a couple of years ago to cast a spell to turn someones family into frogs...  I said I could do it but it would take some effort.  I offered to turn all the men in his family into fat bald frogs and all the women into fat matronly frogs with their hair in a bun and wearing black dresses.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline MarcoPoz

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2008, 10:06:42 AM »
Hell what do I know about fashion--I wear KILTS for gawd's sake LOL

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2008, 10:16:32 AM »
Hell what do I know about fashion--I wear KILTS for gawd's sake LOL

Seriously, the jokes just write themselves. :)

MtD

Offline dixieman

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2008, 11:14:27 AM »
Well I think your being overly sensitive. Why not have everyone wear formal attire. When color coding did you pick each family already a color? and what happens if two different or more sets of the family show up with several types of blues? Black is a great color for a photgraph... The main thing about the photograph is remembering your grandparents for being together 55 years... everyone one else is a backdrop to their occassion... plus one can always have the photograph changed... touched up to ones liking from manipulation on a computer... Have a Great celebration and try to chill out!

Offline weasel

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2008, 05:43:09 PM »
HEY RYAN ,
                 HAVE A NICE TIME , OLD WOMAN LIKE TO RULE !
   SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE "PINK" HAIR DIE , AND A LIFETIME OF BEING BOSSY BITCHES !

  I WOULD DEFINATELY HAVE TO ALTER HER FAMILY , JUST AS A JOKE !,BUT DO GIVE THEM A REAL PHOTO AFTER SHE FAINTS !   LOL

I'M SURE SHE IS A LAUGH AND A HALF , I KNOW THE TYPE !. IF THEY THINK THEY ARE IN CHARGE
THEY WILL RUIN EVERYONE'S GOOD TIME ,THEN GO HOME AND TALK ABOUT YOU .
MAKE A NICE TIME FOR ALL . PLEASE RISE ABOVE THE RUDE CRUDE OLD BAG !
I WISH I FOLLOWED MY OWN ADVICE , I HAVE A WHOLE  IN-LAW -FROM HELL THING GOING ON .

                                               PARTY  ON !
                                                                     KARL
" Live and let Live "

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: July 16, 2008, 12:58:48 AM »
I have another FAMILY STORY, I wish to tell  ;D

When I was 26, my best friend Wes was planning on getting married.  I was the Best Man, the Bride was 16 and the sister of one of our other life friends.  Mind you in California in the 70's the parents of the Bride had to sign for the marriage license and they had.  They kept trying to tell their daughter it was not too late to change her mind.  It was a morning ceremony in the Lutheran Church.  Doctor Watson was there and as Best Man, I did have the chance to answer Dr. Watson with, "Elementary, my dear Watson."  and I will never have that chance again.

The Maid of Honor was my Date and she was also 16.  we were not getting married.  After the Wedding, we all went roaring down Main Street in loud cars enroute to the reception.

This was a morning reception with no breakfast and plenty of champagne.

After a couple of hours of merryment, the brother of the Groom jumped up on a picnic table and yelled out, "The bride is a slut and I will fight anyone who denyies it."   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Winiroo

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: July 16, 2008, 01:39:14 PM »
Just to make peace I'd suggest you send an apology to Aunt Gloria. Even if you don't mean it. It would likely smooth her feathers out and make the day less stressful for your family.

You could say. I'm sorry I offended you. I didn't mean to. I look forward to seeing you on Saturday.
Something to that effect...

Offline Lisa

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: July 16, 2008, 02:11:16 PM »
Wouldn't I like to be a fly on the wall for Thanksgiving, or Christmas with your gang.  :P   ;) ;)
 ;)
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline minismom

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: July 16, 2008, 07:42:08 PM »
I, personally, thought the color-coding was a good idea.  Have everyone e-mail you their various sizes and go out and buy them solid colored t-shirts they can slip on just before the picture and then take it off after.  Or, have several poses taken and let the happy couple pick out which one they want.  Let them know when the pictures will be ready and present them with a gift certificate for the studio.  That way, they can get the poses and sizes they want.

Mum (who LOVES men in kilts - especially the ones from Castleknock)
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"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline raroy273

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Re: FUCKING FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2008, 09:24:22 AM »
I'd have to go to Omar the Tent maker to get sizes large enough for all of them!  At this point, I dont care what they all wear.  She could fall off the face of the earth and I would not notice.  Yeah, I'm bitter, and tired of this pattern of treatment towards myslef, Mom, Dad and Sister.  She's going to do what she want and when the pictures come out looking like shit, she is the one to blame.  Oh well.  Her choice, I offered the suggestion and was shot down like a flaming Jap Zero....or is that a like a flaming queen?  ;D
6/8/07 VL = 86,000 CD4 = 135
6/14/07 Started Combivir/Kaletra
6/29/07 VL = 364 CD4 = 351
8/30/07 VL =<50 CD4 = 156
9/19/07 VL=<50 CD4 = 361
12/3/07 VL = <50 CD4 = 250 14.3%
5/2/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 491 25%
8/4/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 292 21%
9/8/08 VL = <50 CD4= 331

 


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