Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 20, 2014, 10:45:01 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 24010
  • Latest: menghi
Stats
  • Total Posts: 646704
  • Total Topics: 49269
  • Online Today: 276
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 158
Total: 160

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: feeling good, tired of looking sick!  (Read 1927 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline antibody

  • Member
  • Posts: 525
  • "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest"
feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« on: June 29, 2008, 03:46:23 PM »
i've been feeling really good lately. both physical and in pretty good mental spirit but i guess that does not show on the outside? I was having lunch at work, outside at some picnic tables and a homeless guy sits next to me and starts conversation. I don't really want to talk to him but i'm polite. anyways all in all he asks me if I am sick. I say no. I'm not and he goes into are you sure? you look sick man. you look like you have AIDS. I say nope. no AIDS. Are you sure he says. Positive! I say. It's none of his fucking business. but the thing that sticks out is i guess i do look sick. it sucks. i take my meds have 1100 tcells and undetectable but you would never know it. I have color to my face and don't look sick but if you look hard enough, I do.... I don't want to be sad. I was in a good mood but  it is hard to deal with it knowing I look sick to everybody else.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

Started Atripla  7/14/06
Switched to boosted Reyataz Truvada 3/28/07

*Ask me about Medical Marijuana and how it can help you!*

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,044
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2008, 05:14:26 PM »
I can relate to what you are experiencing. It is surprisingly upsetting when people, especially strangers, think you look sick. When people we know think we look "tired" or "not feeling well" it is easier to mentally write off because they care, they know us and they can identify when we don't look like ourselves. When a stranger points out that we look sick it is worse because we know they have no point of reference as to what we look like and we know we must look bad for a stranger to point it out. It is ironic because when I was at my worst medically I looked fine and when I had my best counts I looked my worst. I had a female clerk at Blockbuster casually tell me "Your face looks wierd. You look like a character from Star Trek or something." It ruined my whole day.

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2008, 05:48:31 PM »
My doctor pointed it out to an intern during one of my appointments...my facial wasting.
I wasn't even aware that I had much facial wasting.
I'm sure he can spot it more than a stranger on the street, and no one else has said anything to me--although if I drop a few pounds (like 10 lbs., which I would like to do...), that's when people start asking if I'm sick.
Sorry antibody.  I know it sucks, and it sure dings the self-confidence, and the overall sense of well-being, even when things are going well on the health front.

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,045
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2008, 06:00:09 PM »
Antibody, not to try to downplay what you're feeling, but I wouldn't put a lot of stock into what that man said.  Anyway, the important thing is how you're feeling.  Screw what other people think.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2008, 07:28:44 PM »
Antibody, not to try to downplay what you're feeling, but I wouldn't put a lot of stock into what that man said.  Anyway, the important thing is how you're feeling.  Screw what other people think.

Well said.  Who knows the mental status of this guy or what drugs he may be on (or not on if he needs them).  We're often our own harshest critics.  You know your status.  It's easy for you to say that you look sick.  How do YOU feel?  How do YOU feel about how you look?  Don't let the guy get to you.

On the other hand, I think sometimes we're more 'in tune' with HIV / AIDS.  I guess I'm trying to say that sometimes I think we can tell when another has HIV.  Perhaps the guy was HIV+ and 'felt' you were too.  There are numerous guys that I've felt were HIV+ and turned out to be (HIVdar). 

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline ANGEL42

  • Member
  • Posts: 40
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2008, 07:33:08 AM »
I look in the the Mirror every morning and say" I am Beautiful, no matter what they say"....My favorite Christine A. Song. Find the positive in the fact that your numbers are great and that your feeling well. Walk with your head held high and who cares what other people think. We are warriors, strong, confident and beautiful.

Positive Affirmations work, just say them everyday and it does get better...

 ;D ANGEL
" My Body Might Be Broken, but My Spirit and Soul are Alive and Well " my personal mantra

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2008, 11:32:01 AM »
I understand what your talking about... I'm fortunate to have good bone structure but, I've lost soooo much fat off my face and body I look like a human anatomy model... I now have the clint eastwood look and every vein in my body shows along with muscle... My sister mentioned to me about having some type of filler put into my face in key points... but, sooooo far I do not look sick as yet... I'm checking into possible pmma and or sculptura... and I think I'll try sculptura first because I think I only need alittle filler... we will see... be happy with yourself... outward appearences fade...

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2008, 03:13:53 PM »
I agree with Betty not to put too much stock into what the guy said because frankly a stranger offering you that kind of reflection on how you look has some form of motive that goes beyond altruistic observation.

Also, I used to get really angry when I worked at the bank and my boss would remark at times at how sick I looked - unfortunately she always did this whenever I had been really good about eating well, working out and sleeping a full night's rest.  >:(

All that said, I can't change your fear that your virus is showing (so to speak) other then to say that your mental fear of it is probably a lot worse then anything someone could probably spot with the naked eye.


Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2008, 03:53:51 PM »
a homeless guy sits next to me and starts conversation. I don't really want to talk to him but i'm polite. anyways all in all he asks me if I am sick. I say no. I'm not and he goes into are you sure? you look sick man. you look like you have AIDS.

I think the person was trying to push your buttons.

Also, I used to get really angry when I worked at the bank and my boss would remark at times at how sick I looked - unfortunately she always did this whenever I had been really good about eating well, working out and sleeping a full night's rest.  >:(

She was definitely trying to push buttons. If someone tries to push buttons with me I just say "You can't push my buttons." (and smile) And of course they'll say "What do you mean?" (which is further pushing of buttons) Then you just repeat your first answer over and over with a smile. :)

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: feeling good, tired of looking sick!
« Reply #9 on: July 04, 2008, 08:57:18 PM »
This is why i had plastic (PMMA) placed under my cheeks. Gave me a full set of cheeks again.
It was not only HIV related fat loss but decades of on-off-on-off alcohol, drugs, and R&R which aged me a pace faster than my genetics would have.
Anyway, I looked like I was sick. I did suffer mentally because of it. So I had the procedure(s) and it helped tremendously.
Tremendously.

Mike

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.