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Author Topic: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug  (Read 2570 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« on: June 26, 2008, 05:02:44 PM »
The outdoor furniture of Ohio can finally relax. From NBC:

Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months

BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.

Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.


(source)

Take that North Carolina! :)

MtD

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2008, 05:40:27 PM »
LOL, I remember reading about that. I just wonder if the neighbor made any money off the DVD's?

Offline Ann

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2008, 05:55:49 PM »
This guy sounds like a real picnic-basket case.

Wonder if he's smarter than the average bear? Hey Yogi?

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2008, 06:47:11 PM »
How old was the table?

Not allowed any furniture in his cell?

What brand was it? Can't ya see the rush on July 4th sales.

Was he wearing a condom?

Questions, questions!
Andy Velez

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2008, 07:34:47 PM »
I wonder what the disseminating harmful material to juveniles charge was for.

Sex with a table is new to me. Maybe he should have made freinds with a Snapple bottle or something so he wouldnt get into trouble.  ;D

Offline lydgate

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2008, 07:50:05 PM »
Oh, all of you just don't understand the peculiar pressures of living in the Midwest. In times of severe weather -- winter storms, tornadoes, flooding -- a man's furniture is all that he has got; an inexorable bond, a loving bond, forms naturally. This man and his picnic table deserve our sympathy, our support and understanding, not our mockery! His example has emboldened me to say that my red couch and I... well, you can fill in the blanks, imagine the rest. Some shame remains, but I need your help in accepting that we are who we are; and that one day -- somewhere, sometime -- the world will celebrate our love instead of condemning us.

In sorrow and solidarity,
Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2008, 09:01:30 PM »
I just had a thought. What about chaffing? or abrasions?

I'm wondering if he has developed calluses.

Offline BT65

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2008, 10:44:27 PM »
Well, whatever turns a person on.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline lydgate

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2008, 11:40:30 PM »
Sometimes the comments posted by readers to a "weird news" story are even more entertaining than the story itself, as is the case with the comments to this local NBC news story (and certainly more funny than my feeble attempt at irony earlier).

I was trying to think which paraphilia, if any, this man could be diagnosed with -- well, besides, possibly, exhibitionism -- and at first I thought of "forniphilia": sexual objectification in which a person's body is incorporated into a piece of furniture. But that's not quite right, because this fetish involves having a dom use the sub as furniture. Which is not the case here, obviously. Maybe this is just good ol' fashioned fetishism: being attracted to an object not conventionally regarded as being sexual in nature.

Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2008, 11:56:29 PM »
To qualify as a fetish the object in question must be essential to the pervert achieving gratification.

MtD

Offline lydgate

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2008, 12:07:44 AM »
To qualify as a fetish the object in question must be essential to the pervert achieving gratification.

MtD

True. And we can't say that that's the case with this Ohioan.
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2008, 12:18:16 AM »
Mr Price's passion seems remarkably dull. That he (allegedly) gave copies of the DVDs to minors points to something darker.

MtD

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2008, 06:07:42 PM »
Ohhh I didn't see that part of the story. Man, that is just strange. I mean the whole thing is strange but to tape ones self screwing a table then distribute it to kids. bizarre.





He isn't exactly Brad Pitt. I've seen less atractive but I still wouldn't want to watch him take any furniture for a spin. 
Aside from the idiots that want to point and laugh who would want to watch?

Offline Bucko

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2008, 07:33:17 PM »
I feel bad for the chairs that just sat there without getting any.
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Dragonette

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline bear60

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2008, 01:09:33 PM »
quote ann  "This guy sounds like a real picnic-basket case.

Wonder if he's smarter than the average bear? Hey Yogi? "................

I resemble that!!!!

Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2008, 01:44:07 PM »
I read about a guy who had a fetish for auto exhaust pipes. It is amazing how esoteric these things can be.

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2008, 07:04:00 PM »
I have this old Shop-Vac.......
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline OutOfDarkness

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2008, 11:28:22 PM »
Hi Matt -
I am so sorry for not replying on your thread - but you don't need me to, really??  Of course I appreciate what you have shared here with all of us and let's just say it has been a good lesson in hijacking as well.  I won't forget it , ever!  Hey, at least the guy cleaned up after himself, ay?  Good manners makes it ok, I guess ;)
2000 - seroconverted
2005 - cd4 350, VL 113,000
3/06 - started sustiva/truvada
3/08 - cd4 1,300 VL >50(undet.)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Ohio Table Sexer Slung in Jug
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2008, 11:32:35 PM »
Gettin' n00bz to brown nose is so easy these days.

Heh.

MtD

 


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