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Author Topic: Freaking out  (Read 2755 times)

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Offline chillaxin230

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  • Posts: 11
Freaking out
« on: June 24, 2008, 01:20:35 AM »
OK Im freaking out. In March I met a guy of unknown status and we hooked up...I was really drunk. I gave him head, we made out and then I blacked out. I've never been fucked before since I'm new to experiencing guy on guy. Since I blacked out that night I have been scared as hell that the guy could have fucked me. I didn't feel pain the next morning and I don't think he had lube on him. Three weeks later I felt pain on my ass and there were bumps on my anus and a little blood. It's possible that it could have been hemorrhoids since I have had that problem in the past.

My questions are - what is the likelihood I am infected with HIV? Would I have felt it the next morning if I had been fucked for the first time the night before?

Im really scared and don't know what to do. I'm goign to rush to get tested tomorrow. Am I overreacting or did I do something really stupid??? Please help

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2008, 04:26:09 AM »
chill,

Yes, believe me, if you are an anal virgin, you'd KNOW if you'd been fucked or not. And yes, I know this first-hand.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chillaxin230

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  • Posts: 11
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2008, 12:45:13 AM »
chill,

Yes, believe me, if you are an anal virgin, you'd KNOW if you'd been fucked or not. And yes, I know this first-hand.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann


Thanks so much Ann. I got tested today and am still very scared. The woman at Planned Parenthood made it sound like I was at high risk for HIV, and said I could have no idea that I was fucked the night before even being an anal virgin. So now she's got me worried even more.

Would I experience pain the next day, or just an uncomfortable feeling? Something tells me I would've sobered up really quick if I were bottoming, but I have no idea.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2008, 06:44:37 AM »
chill,

Maybe the lady at Planned Parenthood has a problem with men being sexual with each other. That's what it sounds like to me and you'll come across that from time to time, even amongst medical professionals who are supposed to leave their personal feelings at home.

And honey, if someone shoved their dick up your bottom when you were unprepared for it, you'd wake up alright. You'd know.

I fully expect you to collect a negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chillaxin230

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2008, 01:09:31 AM »
chill,

Maybe the lady at Planned Parenthood has a problem with men being sexual with each other. That's what it sounds like to me and you'll come across that from time to time, even amongst medical professionals who are supposed to leave their personal feelings at home.

And honey, if someone shoved their dick up your bottom when you were unprepared for it, you'd wake up alright. You'd know.

I fully expect you to collect a negative result.

Ann


Ann you are a wealth of information - thank you.

Offline chillaxin230

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2008, 09:54:37 PM »
Ann and others -

I have searched the forum on the risks of oral sex and it seems that some think it can lead to HIV, others don't. I have read your posts on it, Ann, but they are from last year I believe.

So, what is the deal on it? Is it safe for me to practice oral sex while I'm in my 'experimental stage' given I do not have any small sores or bleeding gums? My gums are sensitive and do tend to bleed sometimes when I brush hard - but I still have excellent oral hygiene. How at risk am I if, say worst case scenario, my gums are tender after brushing and there is a little blood?

Sorry if I'm asking the same question others are - I just don't know much about HIV other than what I've read on the welcome thread and in previous posts.

Thanks again for sharing your knowledge.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2008, 02:59:38 AM »
chill,

The risk where giving oral is concerned is more theoretical than actual. Having a meteorite fall on your head is also a theoretical risk in life. You have to decide whether that theoretical risk makes you stay indoors or not. (and a meteorite can still theoretically crash through the roof...)

The most important thing is that you make sure condoms are used for anal or vaginal intercourse. Every time, no exceptions.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chillaxin230

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2008, 07:57:17 PM »
chill,

The risk where giving oral is concerned is more theoretical than actual. Having a meteorite fall on your head is also a theoretical risk in life. You have to decide whether that theoretical risk makes you stay indoors or not. (and a meteorite can still theoretically crash through the roof...)

The most important thing is that you make sure condoms are used for anal or vaginal intercourse. Every time, no exceptions.

Ann




Thanks again Ann.

You say that I'd know it if I had received anal sex - how would I know? What does it feel like? And would being intoxicated relax the muscles enough so I wouldn't feel it the next day?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Freaking out
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2008, 08:25:55 PM »
Like Ann I would say you would definitely know if you had fucked in your ass.  Even if you were so drunk that you didn't wake up when being penetrated, (unlikely), then there would certainly have been some residual soreness.

You're really hanging out in the domain of "what ifs," which is never a good idea.

We aren't going to be able to give you absolute assurance about what happened. We can only give you our experienced judgement. If that is not enough to reassure you then get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I certainly expect will be a negative result. For sure if you keep looking elsewhere and surfing the net you are going to find plenty of stuff to stoke your fears. So control yourself and stop doing that is my serious suggestion.

This panic of yours is I suspect about having gotten more deeply into sex with another guy and not because penetration actually happened. You had some sexual play with a guy which apparently is relatively new for you. That's what the real issue is here and you're in an upset about it after the fact. If you can't cool down about it then maybe you ought to see a therapist or other professional and talk about it.

For sure you need to avoid excessive drinking in the future. Mixing that with impulsive/casual sex is a dangerous combination. Do whatever you want to do do with guys, but do it sober.

I don't see yours as an HIV situation. 
Andy Velez

Offline chillaxin230

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: Freaking out
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2008, 08:33:28 PM »
Like Ann I would say you would definitely know if you had fucked in your ass.  Even if you were so drunk that you didn't wake up when being penetrated, (unlikely), then there would certainly have been some residual soreness.

You're really hanging out in the domain of "what ifs," which is never a good idea.

We aren't going to be able to give you absolute assurance about what happened. We can only give you our experienced judgement. If that is not enough to reassure you then get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I certainly expect will be a negative result. For sure if you keep looking elsewhere and surfing the net you are going to find plenty of stuff to stoke your fears. So control yourself and stop doing that is my serious suggestion.

This panic of yours is I suspect about having gotten more deeply into sex with another guy and not because penetration actually happened. You had some sexual play with a guy which apparently is relatively new for you. That's what the real issue is here and you're in an upset about it after the fact. If you can't cool down about it then maybe you ought to see a therapist or other professional and talk about it.

For sure you need to avoid excessive drinking in the future. Mixing that with impulsive/casual sex is a dangerous combination. Do whatever you want to do do with guys, but do it sober.

I don't see yours as an HIV situation. 

Thanks Andy.

I don't need a therapist - I am just curious. I was very shaken at first (especially since the sexual contact happened in NYC) and then I found this forum. You guys have really calmed my fears.

Andy - what is your take on HIV transmission via oral sex, even with, say slightly bleeding gums?

Again I'm just curious. You all seem very knowledgeable and I'm trying to take advantage of that since I do enjoy what I experienced!!! :)

Offline chillaxin230

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Shot in eye - risk?
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2008, 08:13:39 PM »
Hello again all.

This is my second time on the forum. You guys put my mind at ease regarding oral sex - now I had a different encounter. I met a guy of unknown status and we kissed a little, and I let him ejaculate on my chest. Only problem is that I got a shot in the eye. I rubbed it, it burned, I was wearing contacts too. I wasn't able to take out my contacts because I didn't have solution on me.

I looked it up and on various sites it says "go get tested immediately" and others that have said "transmission has never happened this way, so don't worry."

I trust your opinions more than anywhere else on the net.

Do you think semen in the eye a risk for HIV, if the other male in fact was infected with the virus? Thanks for any help.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Shot in eye - risk?
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2008, 08:57:20 PM »
There is not a single documented case of HIV being transmitted this way. as a risk, it exists in the realm of theory and imaginative television. But in reality, has not ever been proven.

I would not recommend testing over this event. But I sympathize with the pain. Makes you want to consider goggles.

It never fails to sadden me when I hear about other sites who offer such an alarmist and outdated view of HIV (often parroting other sites and other, more outdated information). Fortunately, AIDSMEDS relies solely on the most current first-tiered peer-reviewed scientific data available. In that manner, we sort of created a first-rate transmission/prevention site from the ground up, and are the more credible for having done so.

I hope this has helped.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline chillaxin230

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Re: Shot in eye - risk?
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2008, 09:53:03 PM »
Yes it's helped a little.

I was thinking the split nano-second it was in the air would kill the virus, but then again, its a split second so I'm not sure.

Anyone else think I should test?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Freaking out
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2008, 10:02:11 PM »
First of all I have merged your new thread with your previous one. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

No, I don't think you need to get tested over this incident. I've never known of a case of transmission in this manner, although theoretically it could be possible. But theory and the real world of HIV are two different things.

I do note that you seem to have a lot of anxiety around the whole issue of sex and HIV. While it is a very serious concern, I suggest you might find it worthwhile to see a counselor or other professional to discuss how highly charged these experiences have been for you. Sex ought to be enjoyable and you can enjoy it the safer way as long as you consistently follow a pretty simple rule -- specifically always using a condom for intercourse.

I don't see cause for concern about this incident.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline chillaxin230

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Re: Freaking out
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2008, 10:05:45 PM »
Thanks Andy. Best wishes to you

 


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