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Author Topic: Questionable follow-up  (Read 11057 times)

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Offline rooster

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Questionable follow-up
« on: June 23, 2008, 06:30:26 PM »
Hello,
I am a 31y/o gay male.  I started seeing someone new this year and it ended.
He claimed he was tested negative (for he had a physical with his MD) and was also getting vaccinated for Hep B as well.
I have no reason not to believe that he did test negative.  Our one and only encounter was more than 6 weeks ago (first week of May)

At the end of May (May 24th to be precise), I also had a brief sexual encounter, whereby I was the "top"....briefly penetrated another male, without ejaculation.
He had just moved to the area to work in a federal VA clinic and too had a recent physical back in February 08, and was more than helpful in saying that he too tested negative for HIV in Feb.

With all said, and the need to use condoms in the future (well understood), I am curious to know what your thoughts may be that I could still be infected.
I know that symptoms, or there lack of, are indicative of HIV infection, for I have had none.

I personally believe both persons would not lie about being tested, no less that does not mean that I will not get tested.
I wanted to test ideally @ 8 weeks using this Home Access test I have read about numerous times on this forum (through various posts I have read).
If tested negative @ 8 weeks, I will test again @ 12 weeks.   

Just want to know your thoughts.


Thank You.

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2008, 07:24:33 PM »
I know that symptoms, or there lack of, are indicative of HIV infection, for I have had none.

SHould read "I know that symptoms, or there lack of, are NOT indicative of HIV infection, for I have had none since either of the events.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2008, 07:29:41 PM »
Hi Rooster,

Your decision to test is the right one as unprotected anal sex is a risk for HIV transmission whether you're top or bottom. As you've worked out, the actual risk you face is quite small and I would expect you'll test negative but test you must.

If you test negative at 8 weeks then you're all but set to test negative at 12 weeks. Almost everyone who will test positive does so by the 6th week. Nevertheless an 8 week negative must be confirmed at 12 weeks to be deemed negative. So I think you're arrangement is a sound one.

In closing let me say that you're spot on about symptoms. Symptoms or the absence of them mean nothing when it comes to determining one's HIV status. You're right to focus on risk behaviours and testing at the appropriate time.

Do keep us updated,

Best regards,

MtD

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2008, 09:17:49 PM »
I was intending to start a new topic...because I received this notice:

"Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 60 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic."


Well, anyways.....I was tested on July 27th 2008.....and was tested negative...using the rapid test.
My last risk was on May 7th 2008.  So, I now know that it is past the 3 months thing.  (tested july 27th 2008- negative)


Anyways....
I foolishly...had a risk on July 29th...just days after...
I met someone...at his house.  He said he was negative..and was tested the week before.  So he says.

We fooled around......and one thing led to another.  He penetrated me anally..for about 5 minutes...without the use of a condom.
He asked if he could ejaculate inside me....I said "no".    He pulled out after the 5 min duration...and ejaculated on my stomach area. (Sorry for the graphic image)

Anyways.... today.  I tested using this Home Access test.  The test result today was negative. (After 4.3 weeks)

I cannot say I have had any symptoms...as many on here have said they have.  For I have not had any.

I spoke to this man online again back in early part of AUgust...and he im's me saying that he is "clean" and wanted to know if I was.
I said that was rude...and that I was tested negative pn July 27th of this year. 

I find out later, after meeting him...that he is a BOCES teacher and he was a former police officer and is 10 years older than he stated.
Now it has got me thinking.  I tried to contact him via email but he doesn't answer. 

Thoughts?

Thanks

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2008, 09:29:48 PM »
I thought my thread above may have been too confusing...here is the timeline of foolish events:

Beginning of May 08- unprotected sex as bottom
End of May 08-  Unprotected sex as top

tested-- negative on July 27th 08

July 29th 2008- last risk (stupid and I need to bring condoms)  unprotected "dipping" 5 min. penetration/ no ejaculation

tested---- negative using the Home Access test  August 26th 2008.  (this test reliable?)



thanks for your input. I will test again for reassurance in the future.

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2008, 09:37:48 PM »
BTW....and i am adding more....sorry.


I was wondering. If the negative Home Access test on August 26th 2008 was a clear negative. Would that mean that there was no "indeterminate" testing.  I heard that exists....if that means anything.  You all hear have heard of everything...and did wonder what you thought of that "indeterminate" answer...if there is such a one that exists.

Thanks again.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2008, 07:27:24 AM »
Rooster,

Is it going to take a positive result for you to understand that you need to be using condoms? Is it going to take a positive result for you to understand that not everyone knows - or is honest about - their hiv status? Lots of people only ASSUME they're negative. Get wise man, before it's too late!

Being penetrated is a lot more risky than being top. You're going to have to go the whole three months again for a conclusive result, although with that nearly five week negative in hand, the odds are in your favour that you'll continue to test negative. THIS time. Like I said, WISE UP and stop taking these chances before it's too late. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever. Remember that.

Yes, there is such a thing as an indeterminate hiv test result. It can happen when a person has begun to produce hiv antibodies, but hasn't produced enough to show a clear positive result. Sometimes indeterminate results are false. An indeterminate result should be followed with a second test in around a week's time.

Don't forget to confirm your negative result at three months.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2008, 05:46:43 PM »
Thanks for all your replies. And yes Ann, your right...I do need to get wise before it becomes too late.

I wanted to keep you abreast of testing.
I tested (as you know) @ 4 weeks and yet again at 6.5 weeks.  I used this Home test kit via Home Access...if you are familiar with it.  The 6.5 week test was negative.  I am hoping that is a good indicator.

Thanks again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2008, 06:24:38 PM »
A negative at 6 weeks is a very good indicator that you are most likely going to continue to test negative. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so by then.

Good luck with your 13 week test.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Rather quick question
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2008, 02:18:32 PM »
Though I could not remember how to access my previous thread....(had a hard time remembering screen name and password...luckily I saved it in my email).

Anyways...
Wondering.....would the Home Access kit be just as good testing @ 12 weeks as a Ora quick test (that test with your finger in 20 minutes)?

I took the Home Access test @ 11 weeks and because of the ridiculous notion that maybe  a "home" test is or may not be accurate....I wondered if the finger ora quick is perhaps more reliable.
Thoughts?

Thanks.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2008, 02:57:52 PM »
Rooster,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

The FDA approved Home Access test is reliable.

I assume you tested negative? You tested slightly inside the window and if you decide to test again outside the window, I don't expect the result to be any different.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #11 on: October 27, 2008, 08:13:14 PM »
I was tested last Tuesday, October 21, 2008 with a Unigold Biotech test?  some ten minute test. Test result was negative.   My risk was on July 27,2008.     Is this close enough to 13 weeks?

Not to mention the stern condom warning from Ann.  :)

Thanks ALL.
I owe you!

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2008, 05:26:35 AM »
Rooster,

Yes, you're conclusively negative. You tested past the twelve week point and that's sufficient. Here in the UK and in most of Europe the window is twelve weeks, using the same types of tests they use in the States. Twelve, thirteen, it doesn't really matter.

Now do NOT go out and have more unprotected intercourse! Please  learn your lesson without learning it the hard way. (er, no pun intended!)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2009, 08:46:39 PM »
Hello. May I ask a follow up...just for clarification and whether testing is warranted?

a. another guy performed oral on me (no reciprocation)
b. we mutually masturbated
c. I fingered his anus
d. I rimmed him
e. my penis rubbed around his anal area...I do not believe there was penetration.

he insisted on condom use...but we had no condoms.  I did not penetrated...but am more concerned about my penis rubbing around his anal area.  would i have to penetrate him to contract HIV?

thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2009, 09:38:08 PM »
Nothing you did with this guy put either of you at risk for transmission.

Rubbing around but not IN his anus is NOT a risk for transmission either.

No need for testing in relation to this incident.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2009, 01:46:08 PM »
Hello Everyone.
I want to say thanks for all the answers to questions I had in the past. I was tested last week..which was more than 3 months past the last incident...and test was negative.

If you have some patience to answer a follow-up question...it would be greatly appreciated.
I was working on a contract with another colleague...about 2 weeks ago.  As she sat next to me at a conference table, I noticed she was bleeding rather minutely,..but still bleeding (near her elbow-as she was wearing a short sleeved shirt).  Without thinking, I grabbed her arm to show her, as she was unware of her arm slightly bleeding.  Though I may have touched this part of the arm, I did look at my hand (left hand) to see if I had residual blood from her arm on me.  As strange as it may seem,...or is it?...does this quantify as a risk?  As far as I do remember, I did not have any cuts on my left hand (the hand that touched her elbow).  have people become infected this way...assuming that someone is HIV+? What conditions must exist?  I have re-read the "Read this before you post" ...numerous times,...and see no answer to this question.  I did my best to read through the archives under "search"...but to no avail.  I figure the best advice is right from the experts themselves.


  Thanks...and I appreciate all your efforts.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2009, 02:49:46 PM »
That was not a risk. Skin to skin contact is not a means for transmission. HIV is a fragile virus and requires the kind of setting which unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse provide to be transmitted. Theoretically if you had a freshly gaping wound and someone poured HIV + blood into it transmission could occur. But that is not even remotely what you have described.

You have no cause for concern nor for getting tested.

In ordinary life circumstances such as you have described or if you touched blood or had a nick in the barbershop those are not risks for transmission.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2009, 05:32:19 PM »
I do know what you mean by "everyday circumstances" such as these do NOT lead to infection.
Is it my understanding that she WOULD need to be bleeding a copious amount of blood AND any "minor" cuts that are not visible on my hand/fingers would NOT be considered a risk to my blood(stream).
But in all reality, do healthcare personnel ever run the risk such as this?  Do people get infected like this or can they? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2009, 07:01:56 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2009, 07:11:28 PM »
I am not interested in debating with you. I have already told you that you weren't at risk.  Period. So don't bother trying to get me or anyone else here into a semantic conversation.

You have no sound basis in HIV science to be concerned about your incident.

If you continue to come back here about this same thing or to attempt to debate more "what ifs" you are very quickly going to find yourself getting a 28 day time out.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #20 on: July 05, 2009, 07:39:18 PM »
ok. 
Thanks. I will consult a MD.
Best Wishes.

Offline rooster

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Been tested...Home Access...ok?
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2010, 10:47:26 AM »
THanks to all the kindly advice i have received on here in the past.
Follow -up.  A partner (former) and I were together last August 2009.  He and I went and got tested in August. Both negative.      I was tested last week Feb 12th, 2010 with one of the Home ACcess tests (over night things).   I had no sexual encounters since the August incident.   Would I be clear since the likelihood of being out of this "3 month" thing?

Thanks.

PS:  Am I reaching or can I rely on lab techs to make sure this test is done correctly?

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #22 on: February 19, 2010, 11:08:53 AM »
Rooster,

If you two didn't use condoms in August, as long as your friend wasn't in a window period when he tested you should be ok. If you went without condoms and he was in a window period, then your guess is as good as mine. 

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #23 on: February 19, 2010, 11:25:33 AM »
Thanks for the response.
I think my statement was somewhat convoluded..
I had not had sex since August 2009 with him.  He was tested negative then. 
I was tested last week via Home Access test.  We did have unprotected sex in Auigust.
I have abstained from sex since the August incident. The duration being 5.5 months.
Sorry for the confusion.  Your time/effort are appreciated.
thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #24 on: February 19, 2010, 01:27:06 PM »
Home Access Tests are FDA approved and your test is conclusive.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #25 on: February 19, 2010, 10:06:27 PM »
You are HIV negative. And you will stay that way if you consistently, without exception, use condoms everytime you have intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Follow up...question on only doing oral sex.
« Reply #26 on: February 25, 2010, 07:49:42 AM »
I want to give a thanks to all who have replied...thanks for doing so...and SO quickly. Awesome people on here.

As a gay male, I have decided to move away from anal sex (which often causes rather high anxiety for me) and move towards ONLY doing oral sex (both recep. and insert.)

As a curious question. I have known this other guy for a while.  On the same day that I received a cleaning from my dentist's office (no oral surgery involved)...just cleaning, I performed oral sex on him as well as he did on me.  He had quite a bit of pre-seminal fluids as I performed oral on him.  Does the fact that I had a cleaning at my dentists that day make factors more likely to contract HIV if he were HIV+?

Indeed I had asked him his status, and he says he gets routinely screened. 

Perhaps a "different twist" on oral sex question than most...otherwise I would not have wanted to waste anyone's time.  The concern for me was the cleaning at dentist's earlier that day.

Gracias.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #27 on: February 25, 2010, 09:22:41 AM »
Having an oral cleaning is not the same as having the theoretical risk of very poor oral care. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively present a barrier to the transmission of viable HIV. 
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2010, 12:04:54 PM »
Merely out of curiosity...and for anyone else that reads this...(Academic question)...

Is performing oral sex on a male riskier than a female due to the fact that a male can give pre-ejaculate into the partner's mouth...as opposed to a female?

I know you are barraged with numerous questions about oral sex....but what strikes odd is that if a male ejaculates into the recipients mouth (male or female)...why does this not pose a risk?? I understand the whole salva inhibiting part......but does an ACTUAL sore or cut need to be present?  IF so kindly elaborate...please do.   Any knowledge I can learn and tell others always helps.

TY.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2010, 12:56:30 PM »
We're really not much interested in academic questions here, Rooster. Our focus is on specific incidents and evaluating what level of risk, if any, has occured.

As far as oral sex is concerned if you want a flat out reassurance with regard to non-risk for giving oral, that is not something I am about to give to you. It is true that it is easier for someone giving oral to a man to get body fluids containing HIV into their mouth than someone giving oral to a woman. (The vaginal fluids which are likely to contain HIV are in the cervical area and not around the vaginal lips where oral sex will take place with a woman).

We continue from time to time to get reports of someone who insists their only sexual exposure prior to infection was giving oral. For various reasons those reports generally don't hold up when examined carefully. Certainly considering how common oral sex is we would have known long before today if it was what might be termed a serious risk for transmission. The evidence of longterm studies is unquestionably supportive of the position that giving oral is NOT a risk.

In terms of giving oral to me it falls under the heading of not doing anything sexually unless you are comfortable with some level of risk. In the final analysis the only 100% safe act sexually is self-masturbation. Everything else potentially could pose some risk.

You are responsible for your own actions sexually and otherwise. And if you want 100% assurance that you can perform oral safely, it is not our job here to give you that absolute assurance. We simply tell you what we know from scientific evidence and experience. The decision as to what to do and not do has to be yours.

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #30 on: February 27, 2010, 07:57:43 PM »

Is performing oral sex on a male riskier than a female due to the fact that a male can give pre-ejaculate into the partner's mouth...as opposed to a female?


Going down on a woman is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the *serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

*There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. These studies included (negative) people who gave blowjobs.

Ann
« Last Edit: February 27, 2010, 08:03:37 PM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #31 on: April 24, 2010, 07:40:04 PM »
Anne,
I love your elaborate answers.
I do want to say that I did get tested (8 weeks) after the oral sex situation on this male.
I tested negative.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #32 on: April 24, 2010, 08:32:02 PM »
That's good. Hopefully now you will drop this issue and just get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #33 on: July 29, 2010, 12:21:03 PM »
Since my last post...I just recently (last night), met one guy (35 y/o).
I am in the habit of asking men what their status was, and he clearly stated that he tested negative a year ago this Spring (Spring 2009).
I do know that people can lie,...but this is what had happened.

We used a condom during anal sex with lubrication.
He withdrew after completion...and clearly everything was ok with the condom.
He, still erect,.had the condom on...full of semen..
I masturbated him for like 5 minutes or so....
Without thinking clearly, We tried sex again...him again as the penetrative partner.
As he was about to enter me again...the tip of the condom tore at the top..releasing some of the semen.
He quickly withdrew...saying that he thought the condom had broken.  It did.

Noticing my anxiety, he calmed some fear saying that he was negative...of course he may not know since the year had past since he tested.
I immediately showered and cleaned the best in and around the anal area with soap...it did sting.
I do know that I should not have reused the same condom again..and never had one break...NOW I HAVE LEARNED WHY! Stupid of me.

My questions, since I know you are the professionals here:

1. How significant?
2. Should I seek PEP that I have heard about?
3. Would the HIV virus  (if he were HIV+) have stayed active in the condom throughout the duartion of the time between the first incident and the second?

I appreciate your effort in answering.

Thanks.

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #34 on: July 29, 2010, 03:18:18 PM »
I know time is of the essence...and I know you are all busy....but I have decided to head to the nearest ER to get PEP.



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #35 on: July 29, 2010, 04:20:58 PM »
What someone tells you about their HIV status is ultimately not ever to be relied upon. In this instance it's not quite clear if the condom tore after he re-entered you. If he was inside of you when it happened the risk was brief.

Because there was semen in the condom I consider this a coin toss as to whether or not to institute PEP. I'd say the risk was low but I don't have to live in your shoes. So if you and the doctor you consulted considered starting PEP to be a good decisioin, iI would go along with that. HIV is a fragile virus. Within the condom, although not directly exposed to the air, its viability would quickly be diminishing.

If risky at all I would consider yours to have been a low level risk. 
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 04:23:09 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #36 on: July 29, 2010, 04:36:33 PM »
thanks Andy for the reply...

I read your message simultaneously..while I was on the phone with my local ER.... They put me through to an ID (?)  doctor.

He simply stated he did not want to prescribe it due to toxicity??
ANyways...he went on the notion (and I had to write them down to restate them to you..as to compare your thoughts about what he said):

that first: the partner would have to be infected
secondly he stated that this would be a one-time risk..and gave an analogy of Magic Johnson and his wife who had sex for years..yet she never got it.
He also said as well...as true that most people would state that they are negative..many still do not know..or yes..could lie.  But he believes many HIV+ people would not go around purposely infecting others.
He does feel that even though the duration of time with the semen in the condom and the re-entrance..whereby the condom broke..was about 5 or so minutes...he felt the same way...that IF there were HIV+ semen..the virus is suseptible to quick changes (or something like that).

He went on about something regarding viral load...but that confused me.

Can you tell me what you think of his statements?



BTW...yes...the head of the penis was in the rectal area..just briefly when the side (near the tip)  broke.

THANKS!!! GOD!! I cannot even have sex correctly!

Offline rooster

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2010, 04:42:07 PM »
But yes...I do plan on retesting ...yet again..@  3 mos.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should I get tested?
« Reply #38 on: July 29, 2010, 05:02:45 PM »
Some of what he said I regard as irrelevant but I don't think it's necessary to get into a back and forth about each detail.

Basically I agree that instituting PEP would be an excessive reaction. The toxicity factor he may have been referring to is that PEP is no walk in the park and those potent drugs often have side effects.

Getting tested at 13 weeks just as a precaution is a good idea. I expect you to test negative. And now you know not to reuse a condom as well as of course using one everytime for intercourse whether pitching or catching

Good luck with your test.   
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Questionable follow-up
« Reply #39 on: November 19, 2010, 07:03:27 PM »
Ann or Andy,
Since my last post was over "60 Days', the website asked me if I wanted to start a new thread...so I did.

I recently tested negative since my last risk. (More than 3 mos.)

Anyways, I was wondering your thoughts on the following scenario.

Outside the 3 mos. possible risk, and have been tested negative, I met one guy since then. We kissed, he performed oral only on me. 

However during the process, he pressed the head of his unprotected penis against my anal area (the head of the penis against the entrance of the anus). I know he did have precum on the tip, as well as lube, but he never entered...I am thinking I would know, since I had anal sex before.  Understanding that I do not know his HIV status, would this have been a risk because the precum and head pressing against the anal entrance and the possibility of preseminal fluid entering the anal area/canal? 

I have had anal fissure in the past, and as far as I know it was not active.  When this instance happened (approx. 1-2 min), we ceased, whereby we masturbated one another. He ejaculated on my hand.  Sorry to be so graphic, just had to make the circumstance clear.

Thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #40 on: November 19, 2010, 07:52:15 PM »
 Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.


Offline Ann

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #41 on: November 20, 2010, 08:39:09 AM »
Rooster,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




As you say, if you were penetrated, you would have known. What you did is sometimes called frottage (rubbing genitals together or rubbing genitals against the anal area) and frottage is not a risk for hiv infection. You have not had a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #42 on: November 20, 2010, 08:49:54 AM »
Rubbing is not penetration. As long as you are clear that penetration did not take place then the other details you've thrown into the mix do not constitute a risk.

I'm also going to say something in general to you about your sexual activities. You have been coming here long enough to know that unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the transmission of HIV.

You need to apply the information we have given you a number of times now to your ongoing sex life rather than coming back again and again with more buts and what ifs. And if you are going to be super-anxious everytime you have sex of any kind then perhaps it's  time for you to spend some time with a therapist or other professional to discuss your thoughts and feelings about sex and HIV along with anything else that's on your mind. That's something we can't help you with in this setting.

Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with sexually. And as long as whoever is the insertive partner is using a condom for anal intercourse you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV. Keep it simple and yes, it really is that simple.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #43 on: August 05, 2011, 11:38:09 AM »
Hello everyone,
I know it has been sometime since I have posted, but wanted to ask a few questions.
I started seeing a HIV+ man. He told me upfront he is HIV+. I ‘believe’ I know all the possible risks for transmission but basically wanted to ask for reassurance in continuing to date this very nice guy. (He is 21 and is on meds and states he has an undetectable viral load).
Anyways....I invited him out for coffee and later we went to my place. We kissed, cuddled and he did perform some oral sex on me. My question is/was (because all the knowledge in the previous year went through my mind from the posts I have placed on here...weird...but I was thinking of Ann/Andy’s responses to my old questions prior to this sexual engagement).

Question 1:  He stayed the night,..and since he did not have a toothbrush..he gargled with Listerine. I had brushed my teeth just prior to any French kissing. I currently have braces on my teeth and the bottom center teeth do, on occasion bleed. Any potential risk? or irrational thinking?

Question 2: He did perform oral sex on me. Not to completion...but he did suck a bit and for a while. I had some precum on the tip of my penis. Risk? or irrational thinking?

Perhaps it is just the fact that the first time in my life I am wanting to date someone who is HIV+ and do not want the irrational fear of HIV to ruin this potential relationship.  Can you give me guidance on what to truly avoid ?  I know I do want to date him but do not want to be one of “those guys” who runs in the other direction for the fear of some remote fear of infection.    Did I do the right thing?  We did not have anal sex.   Thanks all.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #44 on: August 05, 2011, 12:48:41 PM »
Hello everyone,
I know it has been sometime since I have posted, but wanted to ask a few questions.
I started seeing a HIV+ man. He told me upfront he is HIV+. I ‘believe’ I know all the possible risks for transmission but basically wanted to ask for reassurance in continuing to date this very nice guy. (He is 21 and is on meds and states he has an undetectable viral load).
Anyways....I invited him out for coffee and later we went to my place. We kissed, cuddled and he did perform some oral sex on me. My question is/was (because all the knowledge in the previous year went through my mind from the posts I have placed on here...weird...but I was thinking of Ann/Andy’s responses to my old questions prior to this sexual engagement).

Question 1:  He stayed the night,..and since he did not have a toothbrush..he gargled with Listerine. I had brushed my teeth just prior to any French kissing. I currently have braces on my teeth and the bottom center teeth do, on occasion bleed. Any potential risk? or irrational thinking?

Question 2: He did perform oral sex on me. Not to completion...but he did suck a bit and for a while. I had some precum on the tip of my penis. Risk? or irrational thinking?

Perhaps it is just the fact that the first time in my life I am wanting to date someone who is HIV+ and do not want the irrational fear of HIV to ruin this potential relationship.  Can you give me guidance on what to truly avoid ?  I know I do want to date him but do not want to be one of “those guys” who runs in the other direction for the fear of some remote fear of infection.    Did I do the right thing?  We did not have anal sex.   Thanks all.


Kissing is not a risk no matter how deep or what details you throw into the mix.

Ditto for getting oral. It is one of the most common of sexual activities. In the entire history of the epidemic there has never a confirmed case of transmission in that manner. So whether you cum or not or whatever details you add on, you are not going to make history by becoming infected in that manner.

As long as you guys consistently use condoms if you decide to have anal intercourse, then you will be well protected against the transmission of HIV sexually. It really is that simple.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2011, 12:51:03 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #45 on: August 06, 2011, 12:39:18 PM »
Thanks Andy! I was really hoping for that response.  Just wanted to make sure I did not need PEP for either the kissing or oral recipient exposure. I automatically assume serodiscordant couples french kiss all the time anyways and the negative partner never gets exposed. Likewise with the oral experience. And as Ann always says "keep the condoms handy"...I certainly will if and when that time occurs. Thanks again!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #46 on: August 06, 2011, 05:30:54 PM »
You're welcome. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline rooster

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #47 on: August 07, 2011, 10:53:15 PM »
Again..thanks for everything you do....now..to one stupid question?
I decided to try a gay sauna for the first time in my life ...it is about an hour away from my residence.  Though I did not have sex with anyone...I wanted to tell you what happened ...and Please..let me know of any risk.
I was walking down a very dark hallway...closest to the wall..passing someone..when I stepped onto some sharp object. I attempted to turn around and see...but could not see anything on the floor..it was too damn dark.  I returned to the 'room' that they give you when you sign in....and I took off the sock ( I was wearing socks..b/c I was thinking I could get athletes foot). Anyways..no sign of blood ...but a small..almost needle sized prick near my pinky toe. It hurt when I stepped on it....but not later. I attempted to retrace the area again...but it was so damn dark and I did not want to pull out a cell phone to use as light (people would have looked at me strangely ).
1.  Could it have been a needle or syringe? I don't know the difference between the two.
2. HIV risk if it were a needle/syringe?..since it is a shady place.
3. Would I have bled from a puncture? There was no blood on the sock.

What a week of stupid mishaps I did!  Thanks again.

Offline Ann

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #48 on: August 08, 2011, 08:03:33 AM »
Rooster,

The whole idea of being infected with hiv from a needle lying around is an urban myth. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you are not going to be the first.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rooster

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Re: Questionable follow-up
« Reply #49 on: August 08, 2011, 09:23:22 AM »
thanks Ann.

I think in retrospect and would also realize:
a. I don't even know for sure if it WAS a needle or anything.
b. most people do not go around dropping syringes/needles
c. the person would have to have HIV IF it were a syringe/needle
d. enough blood would have to be there...AND be infectious.  (And had I been pricked...I assume blood would have come out of my foot?)
e. I would have felt the body of the needle..which I did not....It felt like a small stone.


 


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