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Author Topic: Very worried for my wife and children  (Read 2539 times)

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Offline aldo1973

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Very worried for my wife and children
« on: June 20, 2008, 03:38:33 AM »
Hi all, and thank you for the job you are doing here.

I'm sorry for my bad English (I'm Italian).

This is my story: 2 weeks ago after a night with friends I have got unprotected oral sex from a street prostitute.
I immediately realized I have made the biggest mistake of my life.

I haven't noticed bleeding in her mouth but it was dark, who can say.
I'm not circumcised and as far as I could see I hadn't any cut or sores on my penis after the event.
After that I told a lie to my wife (being cut with a needle on the ground) in order to take some precautions for the next 3 months and I'm extremely scared on even touching my 2 little daughters.
I've read the lessons and I'm aware I'm getting it in the wrong way, but the thing of being uncut and some thread from other sections of this forum are driving me crazy.

I've decided to test me after 4-6-13 weeks; what I would ask to you is "Is it paranoia?" "Should I look for some psychological help?"
I know the average sieroconversion period is 22 days, but do you know which are the percentages of sieroconversion after 4 and 6 weeks?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2008, 03:50:41 AM »
Well Aldo,

Receiving an unprotected blowjob is not a risk for HIV transmission and there really is no need for you to be tested for HIV at all.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,711
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2008, 08:06:05 AM »
You need to know that in the entire history of the HIV epidemic there has never been one cast confirmed of HIV transmission to a guy through his getting a blowjob.

It's safe to say you won't make history by becoming the first. There's no need for HIV testing. Period.

This is all about guilt and anxiety because you're a dog like a lot of us and you went straying. Take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline aldo1973

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2008, 08:30:16 AM »
Dear Matty and Andy,
thank you for your prompt and kind replies.

My concern here is that I can't accept that "I" have done such a thing to my wife (who till 2 weeks ago was the only women I had ever had sex with).
Now I can't accept even a theoretical risk of infecting her or my innocent daughters with something that I may have deserved ... they haven't.
I have accepted this "precautions" time like a quarantine to keep them safe and me a little less guilty.
What I'm asking is "do you know how may seropositives in % turned poz after 4 and 6 weeks?".
Somewhere I have read 5-10% after 4 weeks, but I'm not sure about that article and I couldn't find any statistics for 6 weeks.
Knowing these data could help me managing my fear after getting a (hopefully) negative result after 4 and 6 weeks. 

Thank you again
 

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2008, 08:39:05 AM »
You didn't have a risk. If you can't get over your anxiety I suggest you seek professional mental help.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2008, 10:21:18 AM »
aldo,

You didn't even have a theoretical risk of becoming infected from getting a blowjob. It just doesn't happen that way.

And by the way, even if you did have a risk and did get infected, unless you're in the habit of having uprotected intercourse with your daughters, there's no way you'd infect them. Hiv is transmitted via unprotected intercourse, not causual, everyday contact, or blowjobs.

You didn't have a risk.

If you need help working through your guilt associated with getting a blowjob outside your marriage, then I suggest you seek counseling. We cannot help you with your guilt here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline aldo1973

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2008, 03:06:11 AM »
This morning I have got the results of my 30 days test.
It's negative for HIV (Elisa-p24), HEP B, HEP C (I think the next time I will get tested for syphil too).

Now I'm more calm.

I would like to thank all of you for your support and the exceptional job you are doing here.

I will let you know the results of my tests on weeks 6 and 13.

Regards

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2008, 05:42:09 AM »
aldo,

There's no point in letting us know what your subsequent test results are. You will still be hiv negative.

Why?

Because you did NOT HAVE A RISK!

Getting a blowjob is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

You will not be allowed to use this forum to wring your hands over your blowjob.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline aldo1973

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2008, 10:14:02 AM »
Dear Ann,
I'm back again.
Please don't give me an alert (it is very hard to be rational when fear is driving you crazy).

Today I tested negative at day 44 and the doctor at the hospital told me I have better to repeat the test again at 3 months.
She told me that I had a very low risk and that I shouldn't live this situation with so much anxiety, nevertheless she suggested to test again at 3 months to get a conclusive result.

I know you will say "yours was a no risk situation" and to be honest I would like very much to belive it and let it go, but there is still that little voice in my mind saying that the doctor could be right and that I should do it for my own peace of mind.
I would like to ask you if people seroconverting after 6 weeks belong to any know category (i.e older than yy, using some drugs, therapy, suffering certain desease...) or is it just a "person by person" matter?

I would really appreciate any answer.

Thank you in advance

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2008, 10:20:52 AM »
What part of "You didn't have a risk is it that you don't understand?" If you cannot move on I recommend that you seek professional mental help in trying to find out why.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,711
Re: Very worried for my wife and children
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2008, 01:30:30 PM »
we've already clearly told you what we think.

Your anxiety is separate issue and perhaps as Rod suggested you need to see professional help about that.

Test if you want to at 13 weeks and collect another negative result. It's a slam dunk.

We have done what we can do for you here.
Andy Velez

 


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