HIV Transmission and Testing > Am I Infected?

whats wrong with me?

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takashi:
Exposure: Unplanned Insertive Oral (male masseur)

worried, scared, paranoid, distressed, depressed for 5 months and then went for a blood test. Private doctor performed the test under a diff. name..came back negative for HIV 1. Thanks for your support for the last 3-4 months...which stopped me from going crazy. NOW, I am back to the starting line again!!!!!!!

I am tired all the time...a jittery (sp?) feeling.....like a rush of blood or a lack of sugar etc. SCARED that I am showing signs of HIV without having the antibodies (absolutely ridiculous - and Yes I agree) I am thinking what about HIV 2? (I am in the US) What about Hepatitis B or C? I can  not get this tired feeling out of my system, sleepy...don't have the energy. I can't take it anymore. I am numbed by the fear that I am infecting my family as well. I slept with my wife (with protection) and now I am worried I have infected her. I understand the science, I agree with what you are saying....but ....what about this being tired all the time...my legs feel like they are going to give up!

I thought this journey was over...I can not believe I am doubting my HIV 1 test....now worrying about HIV 2 and Hepatitis..Hopeless and ridiculous. I can not live like this. Why am I not excited about my test results...I got this numb feeling after the results came out. I see people get so excited about their results and move on...I am stuck in my own prison.

Hope Ann, Andy, Jonathan - you are all well.

jkinatl2:
<<Exposure: Unplanned Insertive Oral (male masseur)>>

Whatever your troubles, they absolutely are not HIV. ANY HIV. Of that you can be certain. I hope you and your doctor find out and treat whats wrong with you.

Andy Velez:
Tak, you were never at risk for HIV in t he situation you are concerned about.

You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Along with discussing with your doctor about what the possible causes of your symptoms maybe, I also suggest that you consider seeing a therapist or other such professional to get some support with the emotional aspects of your situation. Perhaps you are having some guilt about the experience. I don't know, but that often happens when someone is married and goes straying.

What I do know is that from what you have reported you have absolutely no basis for any concern about HIV.

Cheers, 

takashi:
Ann and Guys...what should I do? 23 days after being intimate with my wife (with protection, checked and re-checked condom for holes etc post usage) now she is sick in bed. Headache, 101 fever and just tired. Is this ARS??? how can this be such a coincidence? 23 days and now she is showing all these symptoms. We did travel and currently in a foreign country...my feeling is she is just tired and picked up a bug somewhere...but I can not get the ARS thing out of my head.....what should I do???? I can not take it anymore...this is so stressful. I ...OK can accpet HIV, now if I infect her.. I have nothing else to do but kill myself. What a miserable situation....I didnt even solicit this encounter where this all started in Jan. I know you will say guilt, I can not give her something I dont have, condoms provide protection to HIV etc as a solution to this problem....but wierd things do happen - no? like the rash cream accident in Australia. I wish I could show you my heart...it is bleeding with remorse that I have done this to her!!  I can not take this anymore...what should I do?

ScienceGuy25:

--- Quote from: takashi on August 08, 2006, 09:58:20 PM --- I know you will say guilt, I can not give her something I dont have, condoms provide protection to HIV etc as a solution to this problem....but wierd things do happen - no? like the rash cream accident in Australia. I wish I could show you my heart...it is bleeding with remorse that I have done this to her!!  I can not take this anymore...what should I do?

--- End quote ---

You've already been told you didn't have a risk with insertive oral sex.  On top of that you tested conclusively negative from a no-risk situation.  Do you have any idea how many other (much more common) afflictions could be causing your wive's symptoms? You have heard of that thing called influenza (flu) virus?

Your issue is not an HIV one and from your post, the only option for you is to seek the help of a mental health care professional.  Anxiety/depression are other real physical condition that often go untreated because people are ashamed to seek help.  Do your self a favor and find a professional to help you through these irrational thoughts.

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