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Author Topic: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex  (Read 6750 times)

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Offline fearless

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The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« on: June 11, 2008, 08:43:22 PM »
Lot's has happened over the last couple of months, so I'd like to fill you in.

As many of you know, back in January I switched from Kaletra + Truvada to Prezista + Truvada. The change was instant and dramatic. No longer suffering the eternal squirts my interest in men and sex was reignited.

A couple of months back I met this nice guy, a negatron. Being the responsible thing I am  ;D I filled him in about things. He was OK with it and we spent a weekend of Timmy Thunter smooching and cuddling. Nothing major happened. We met again and tried to hit a home run. But alas, I just couldn't do it. I could not feel comfortable, that little HIV, HIV noise running round in my head. Mentally, I took a nose dive. I'd thought I was fairly comfortable with my status, but with this negatron I just felt dirty, diseased and simply not deserving. I crashed and burned. I took 3 weeks off work. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. Although not suicidal, I just wished I was dead. My life, I thought, was one big failure after another. I saw my doctor and he has referred me off to a shrink - first appointment is next week.

Anyway, at the end of my 3 week pity party I was online wasting time. This swarthy and kinda feral guy got in touch with me. A truly lovely man, a few years older than I and poz for 20 odd years. We met up and had a great weekend of full on dirty man sex  ;). He liked me, I liked him, and we liked what we did to/for each other. He's lives out in the sticks, on 140 acres about 4 hours from Sydney. In the 7 years that I have been single I've not managed to score a 2nd date so I was not confident that he would call me or that we would catch up again.

The waiting game, Monday no call, Tuesday no call. Wednesday, to my surprise, he did call. Not only did he call but he wanted to see me again. So, I nicked off from work early on Friday, caught the train and met up with him again. What a weekend. No phones, no tv, no electricity. Just a gas fridge and stove, log fire, and the most fantastic outdoor bathtub. After a day of bushwalkiing and chatting and working round the house, he had me chop the nights firewood. While he got the inside fire and dinner going, I filled the tub with water and got the fire underneath going. The water was hot and ready as night fell, as was I. He scrubbed me down under the bazillion stars that you only see in the country skies.  We spent the rest of the night by the fire and doing the things that men do together.  :P

I really enjoy his company, and so far, he feels the same. He arrived in Sydney again yesterday. I'm really looking forward to spending time with him again.

Life is good again.

Little Steve.

ps. I can't leave out my little adventure of Sunday just gone. It was a long weekend in Sydney which means parties everywhere. I didn't go out, but knew that on Sunday, the sex clubs would be pumping. I went to one of my old haunts, just to see what was going down  ;). On arrival, the doorman asked, "general admission or piss party". I asked what the difference was. He said general admission is $18, for an extra 5 I get 3 free beers. I took the general admission, which allowed me to access the piss party. Lol. What a few hours that was. I'm 99% sure I was the only person there not off his head on drugs or alcohol, and about the only one with clothes on. I've not been to one of these things before but the place was going off. I'll spare you the detail, but I learnt one thing on Sunday. Horned up guys full of alcohol and or drugs are very easy to manipulate when you are stone cold sober. hehehe  ;) :D ;D
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Longislander

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2008, 08:50:13 PM »
Few things-

Congrats on the new combo ;D
Hope you and the new guy get to spend lots of time together~
Glad life is good for you again~
I want your job~ ;)

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline thunter34

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2008, 08:59:35 PM »
Spare us the detail??  What the hell??

You surely know us better than that by now.   ;D

Lil' Steve...the rest of your post was a true delight to read.  I'm so happy for you.  Just enjoy it, babe! 

NOTHING beats smooching and cuddling.   ;)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2008, 09:15:49 PM »


NOTHING beats smooching and cuddling.   ;)

Actually I find that, generally speaking, a new pair of expensive shoes is much more enjoyable.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline anniebc

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2008, 09:20:25 PM »
Bathing under the stars, fresh country air and a good man..what else could you ask for, glad to hear you had a good time...country people are the salt of the earth... ;)

It's good to hear the combo is working out well for you, and things are looking up again for you.

Big hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2008, 11:19:11 PM »
I'm very happy for my little prezista sista.

Hal :-*

Offline Robert

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2008, 11:55:37 PM »
LS

sorry to hear about the downward spiral.  Those friggin' pity parties can be downright dangerous.  YOu get caught up in them and it's harder than hell to get out.  It's a shame it happened and I feel for you.

Nothing wrong with a little clean, country- living though.   As jan says, "salt of the earth" and all that.  But let me see if I have this right.  The guy has a bathtub outside (I can only assume it's one of those claw-legged tubs) and you had to chop wood to build the fire to warm the water.  Isn't it winter there?  Isn't it like 10'C there?  And you're giving each other baths?   I want it to sound so sexy....but brrrrrrr, it sounds cold.

and, finally, oh how I miss the sex clubs.  good times were had by all.

robert
..........

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2008, 01:18:57 AM »
dont worry robert, the water was steaming hot. a quick naked hop, skip and jump from the house and i was submerged. but, i think i was lucky and the evening quite mild.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2008, 11:36:42 PM »
I went bush again last week for a few days. Such a lovely time. Such a wonderful man.
I've attached a pic of the bath and some local scenery. The escarpment, which flanks the property on 3 sides, is about 500 metres above the valley floor. As the sun moves across the sky the cliff face goes through a most wonderful series of colour changes.
Pure bliss.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline anniebc

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2008, 12:00:17 AM »
Hi Steve

I'm pleased to hear you are having such a wonderful time, I love the photo's. specially the one with the bath and the good looking guy in the "Flanny"...it's good to see we have something in common when it comes to fashion.. ;).

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2008, 12:44:41 AM »
Thanks Jan.

I also get to fulfill my garden fantasies - he has 140 acres of land, of which about 3 or 4 are cleared and ready for gardening. We visited the tip on Saturday morning to dispose of some household waste. Lo and behold, the local power company had dumped a few large truckloads of mulch - shredded 'waste' from their trimming trees from the powerlines.

Needless to say, Saturday was spent doing trips to the tip to load up the ute with mulch. Sunday was spent spreading it around the garden. I tell ya, he got his monies worth this weekend. And poor me, well, I ache in those spots that only a weekend digging in the garden can bring on. Nice aches, I guess.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Robert

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2008, 02:41:05 AM »
I love the photos too.  I'm checking them out.  So, it's winter, right?  That looks pretty arid there.  How much rainfall do you get in the bottom of the canyon?  How are you going to water the gardens? Has he set up an irrigation system or will that be one of your projects this fall/spring? 

You know, I never thought I would end up where I am today but I gotta tell you, working a farm is the best thing that has happened to me.  Ditto Jan. 

robert
..........

Offline Cliff

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2008, 05:05:06 AM »
Nice pictures Steve.  A bit too rugged for me.  But peaceful looking.  Damn peaceful.

Offline Ann

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2008, 05:17:05 AM »
Such a wonderful man.
I've attached a pic of the bath and some local scenery.


But where's the pic of wonderful man?

I'm really happy for you.  :-*

xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2008, 09:17:20 AM »
Beautiful country. Thanks for sharing the pictures.

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2008, 09:42:33 AM »
Hey Steve,

First, congrats on the success with the Prezista. I remember the horrors you were having with Kaletra and am very glad those are history.

Second, the sex club description brought back wonderful memories for me. Thanks for that.

Third, this new man in your life sounds great. I loved the photos. I could learn to love living there very quickly.

I am very happy things are going so much better for you. Sweetie, you deserve only the best.

BIG HAPPY HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline dixieman

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #16 on: June 30, 2008, 11:17:38 AM »
Great photos.. wow finding a man who actually likes the great outdoors? In Alabama all I can find to go fishing with me are str8 guys and or lesbians... the butcher of the two happen to ber hands down for the women... they make the str8 men seem like big ole girls! LOL ...I love my friends though... Glad to hear your doing much better... John

Offline bear60

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #17 on: June 30, 2008, 12:48:33 PM »
I'm impressed ....outdoor bathing must be fun. Good going.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Iggy

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #18 on: June 30, 2008, 02:58:44 PM »
Steve,

Missed this thread when first posted, but I'm glad I caught it now.

The pics of the guy's place are beautiful and his property (and views) are just perfect!

Enjoy it.  You deserve it.

Offline woodshere

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  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2008, 06:32:34 PM »
Very nice, but is that a disco ball in one of the pics?
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #20 on: June 30, 2008, 07:52:30 PM »
Thanks for the lovely thoughts everyone.

I love the photos too.  I'm checking them out.  So, it's winter, right?  That looks pretty arid there.  How much rainfall do you get in the bottom of the canyon?  How are you going to water the gardens? Has he set up an irrigation system or will that be one of your projects this fall/spring? 
robert

After the first decent summer and autumn rains in years, it's actually really lush at the moment Robert. I'm guessning he gets about 700 mm (about 27 inches) of rain a year. The colours in the pic are just the colours of the Australian bush, browns and flat greens. It's a harsh landscape.

Although I did not take any pics of native flowers, the Australian bush tends to come to life during winter, having survived the harsh Australian summer. The wattle, bottlebrush, grevilleas and many other flowers were just starting to flower when I was there. Hopefully, things will be in full bloom when I'm there next.

Ann,
Here is the man himself. grrr
Bear,
Outdoor bathing under the bazillion stars in the night sky is awesome.
Woods,
You can take a man out of the disco, but you can't take the disco out of the man.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Tempeboy

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #21 on: June 30, 2008, 08:22:59 PM »
 :o

If prezista gets you this I want some.

Good work Steve.

Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Dean Kiley

Offline woodshere

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #22 on: June 30, 2008, 08:57:50 PM »
Does he have a twin?  He is fine!!!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #23 on: June 30, 2008, 09:22:47 PM »
::detects fisting activities::
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline next2u

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #24 on: June 30, 2008, 10:27:54 PM »
dude, steve, most awesome story! i am happy your shitter is back to it's regular shitting schedule. dude, your man is damn fine!!!! i know you are enjoying those starlite baths and wonderful man sex romps. good to know you got your fire back. those moments of doubt and self pity suck, here's a kudos to you for returning to yourself. oh, and if you want to elaborate on the filthy details of your healthy sex life fee free to : )

more pics are cool too buddy!!! take care.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline Ann

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #25 on: July 01, 2008, 08:40:12 AM »
Impressive, Steve, impressive.

Did I mention I'm really happy for you? Didn't I tell you ages ago there was someone out there for you? I'm glad you found each other.

xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Peter Staley

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #26 on: July 01, 2008, 01:20:09 PM »
 ;D

just wanted to say I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread.  You sound really happy, Steve!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #27 on: July 01, 2008, 01:35:05 PM »
Of course he's happy.  Did you see what's snaking down that man's inner leg?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline woodshere

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #28 on: July 01, 2008, 01:53:52 PM »
Of course he's happy.  Did you see what's snaking down that man's inner leg?

Didn't see that the first time.  OH MY!!!
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline justakuntrygul

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #29 on: July 01, 2008, 04:22:01 PM »
 :Dhaha I like the dirty man sex too. Hope that you get to hook up with your guy again. Take care!

Offline Iggy

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #30 on: July 01, 2008, 05:23:57 PM »
Ann,
Here is the man himself. grrr


Wow.  You got a good one there!  Enjoy!

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #31 on: July 01, 2008, 09:25:53 PM »
Of course he's happy.  Did you see what's snaking down that man's inner leg?

The pic doesn't do him justice in that regard, Philly.  :o
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline aztecan

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #32 on: July 01, 2008, 10:51:09 PM »
Oh MY! :o :o :o :o :o :o :o


GRRRRR!

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Robert

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #33 on: July 02, 2008, 12:13:31 AM »
I'm telling you steverino....life in the country ain't all bad.

  GRRRRR!

robert
..........

Offline mudman8

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #34 on: July 04, 2008, 03:08:46 PM »
Great story,  we never know when the left turn or knock at the door brings the most wonderful person into our lives.  I was a landscaper on Southern California for many years and we have some great Eucalyptus trees on freeways even tho they are toxic with oils.  I"ve seen a few new Grevillias come into nurseries and the Kangaroo paws are the in thing here now in Chartreuse yellow and red and now dwarf forms.

I envy your ability to garden  large acerage.  Here things are so tight you can't plant big stuff or have to keep trimming shrubs and trees.  I like natural full forms.  Make a deal with the tree company to dump their next load on your land and save the gas/effort. Nothing better than mulch and compost for dry lands. I love being in the big city of Los angeles but I'd be very tempted to homestead a nice acreage like that. Learn all you can about the native plants and environment. CA has some wonderful native plants too.

And the man looks mighty fit and fine.  Go have fun, physical intimacy is endlessly entertaining. Who needs TV and bad movies when you have a wonderful time in a bathtub under the stars.

I now do art work instead of landscaping but love to prune and get my hands dirty.  Try your hand at pollinating bulbs and wild flowers. Research botanists who can help you out. Life is what you make of it.
Life is analog

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #35 on: July 04, 2008, 11:01:25 PM »
The pic doesn't do him justice in that regard, Philly.  :o

Well provide some more, Miss Thing
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline fearless

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #36 on: July 28, 2008, 12:34:09 AM »
An update:

It's love I tell ya. Love, love, love.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #37 on: July 28, 2008, 12:44:53 AM »
Why you filthy, little AIDS victim you :)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Robert

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Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #38 on: July 28, 2008, 01:49:35 AM »
These are my all time favorite lyrics.  (One day in study hall I started out humming and by the time I got the end I was belting out 'I'm in love with a wonderful guy.)

I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!

                                   Oklahoma.

robert

(who happy for the little guy.)

..........

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #39 on: July 28, 2008, 10:54:28 AM »
How great, Steve.

Enjoy it!

Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #40 on: July 28, 2008, 01:47:34 PM »
Yowsa!

Mike

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,908
Re: The lows and highs of life with HIV, and dirty man sex
« Reply #41 on: July 28, 2008, 02:06:02 PM »
That's great, Steve.  Have a good ride! ;)
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

 


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