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Author Topic: How many of you take anti-depressants?  (Read 52102 times)

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Offline Razorbill

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  • Posts: 622
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #100 on: June 17, 2007, 12:40:36 AM »
Was on antidepressants for years - got tired of the sexual dampening effects and tried to justify why I needed to take them.  Unlike others who suffer some serious mental challenges, I decided I was solid enough to go without.  I stopped them over a month ago - took two weeks to stop buy halving the dose each week.  Some interesting side effects - increased aggressive feelings - I stayed aware and let it out when practicable.  Occasional reboots of the brain - a hard one to describe really except to say I would feel that for a split second the world had just zipped left or right. Those effects passed.   And of course anxiety and worry, which I control with a deep breath, braking the thought and some rational thinking.  You know I've done a lot over time - Xanax, Lexapro, Effexor. Paxil, Ambien and Valium.  None of it made me healthier and none of it on balance made my world seem any better than it truly is.  I'm done with those drugs.  Period. 
PS - Anybody who is truly in need - I have 2 1/2 months leftover supply of 10mg Lexapro.

Offline appleboy

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #101 on: June 17, 2007, 01:16:02 AM »
Lexapro here.  I stopped for about a year but decided I really needed more than I thought I did.  Sexual side effects don't really bother me as I have not had sex in nearly a year.  But for those personal moments I can work with the side effects  :o
If you are walking down the street and your pants drop to your ankles bend over pick them up and keep on walking!
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Offline Iggy

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #102 on: June 17, 2007, 04:12:16 PM »
When I was in the most painful part of my therapy my therapist offered me to go on anti-depressants and his suggestion hurt me.  I felt like he was somehow rejecting me and what I needed to express - as if what I was going through was too much for him to handle.

The most wonderful thing happened the next session - he brought it up and said he believed that he had hurt me (I hadn't said anything directly about it at the time) and he apologized.

I wanted to deny that he had hurt me and just started to shrug it off, but I stopped myself and admitted what I felt...and this huge weight lifted.

For me I have tried to avoid antidepressants as I have seen a few of my friends on them for too long - and it scares me.  I know intellectually it is not true, but some irrational yet strong part of my beliefs is that I need to feel the pain of what I am working through as the the absolute darkness will not get cleared from my head until I explore it with eyes wide open and without any deaden senses.

Please understand that I know the antidepressants won't make me deaded - but just the fear of it is enough to make me want to work through my issues without them.

Offline antibody

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #103 on: June 17, 2007, 04:24:25 PM »
Zoloft works for me. i've used 150 mg but do ok on 100mg.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

Started Atripla  7/14/06
Switched to boosted Reyataz Truvada 3/28/07

*Ask me about Medical Marijuana and how it can help you!*

Offline Razorbill

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #104 on: June 17, 2007, 08:33:59 PM »
Amazing story Iggy.  Very powerful.

Offline racingmind

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  • Posts: 236
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #105 on: June 18, 2007, 04:28:34 PM »
I started Wellbutrin to stop smoking and have stayed on it even after I quit.  Sometimes, though, I feel like it's not strong enough....I find myself occasionally having little breakdowns...I don't know if that's normal or not.  I would like to maybe trade up to a higher mg or another antidepressant all together.  I'm going to ask my PCP about it on my next visit.
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline PaulinNJ

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  • Posts: 124
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #106 on: June 20, 2007, 10:13:46 PM »
I lost count, but was on them since my 30's (I'm 47 now) before I was diagnosed HIV in 2001. I tried Paxil, Wellbutrin, and others which names I can't recall right now, but am currently on Lexapro after trying a few antidepressants the last few years and Lexapro seems to do the trick. I take Provigil to fight fatigue (I notice another member mentioned fatigue) and also Klonipin for anxiety. After I was diagnosed I had bad panic attacks...I was always prone to them, but the diagnosis put me over the edge. I'm happy to say after six years (as of July 6th!) combined with weekly therapy, I am in a better place.
Paul
Laugh often - the alternative ain't worth it!
"Ain't I a stinker?" -- Bugs Bunny
From 120 t's, shingles and high VL in 2001
To 1200+ t's and undetectable in 2007.
2010 remain undedect. and 1000 CD4.

Offline Hard Times

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  • Posts: 113
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #107 on: June 20, 2007, 11:33:59 PM »
i almost tried them all,   whats left lithium !
green is the way to go,  pot wakes up my MIND, then the rest follows !
Your Body Is What You Are.
Your Soul Is Who You Are.

Offline SouthSam7

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  • Posts: 428
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #108 on: June 21, 2007, 01:51:24 AM »
sorry I couldn't read all of the many postings.  I take Xanax whenever I can, and Welbutrin about once a month as needed.  I don't like the funny feeling from the welbutrin so I don't take it all the time.  Xanax is the bomb.

Sam

Offline deltona1438

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  • Posts: 1
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #109 on: June 22, 2007, 11:43:38 AM »
Hi there,

I have been taking Cymbalta 60 mg once a day for about a year.  Helps with peripheral neuropathy as well as depression!  I took Effexor XR 75 mg three times a day for 5 years.  I also take Zyprexa 2.5 mg at bedtime.  I take this is for anxiety.  I have battled severe depression and anxiety for 20 years since I discovered I was poz in 1987.  Best advice I can give is to find a good shrink that is knowledgeable about psych meds and how they interact with antiretrovirals.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #110 on: June 22, 2007, 12:51:33 PM »
Hi Iggy,

As you found out therapists are very definitely human, and like a lot of people sometimes they too get uncomfortable when powerful feelings are expressed and may not want to know about them. Even though you were just putting it all  into words, it can stir a lot of anxiety and sometimes people don't want to tolerate having those feelings. For many the a separation between feeling, thought and going into action is hard to differentiate and therefore very scary. Which ends up with many looking for various ways to supress those feelings.

It's great that you expressed yourself and were then able to sort out something about what was going on with your therapist's response. And not sell yourself out by denying you felt hurt and misunderstood.

To his credit, he was able to acknowledge that truth as well. That's speaks well for a good working relationship.

Cheers,
« Last Edit: June 22, 2007, 12:54:23 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline raroy273

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  • Me
    • For amore about me....
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #111 on: June 22, 2007, 03:51:29 PM »
I have been on anti-depressants since I was 20, Im now 27.  I was just diagnosed May 18th.  I take Zoloft and it seems to work well for me.  My family history has depression all through it.  Its no big deal anymore, I know I need it to function. 
6/8/07 VL = 86,000 CD4 = 135
6/14/07 Started Combivir/Kaletra
6/29/07 VL = 364 CD4 = 351
8/30/07 VL =<50 CD4 = 156
9/19/07 VL=<50 CD4 = 361
12/3/07 VL = <50 CD4 = 250 14.3%
5/2/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 491 25%
8/4/08 VL = <50 CD4 = 292 21%
9/8/08 VL = <50 CD4= 331

Offline gatortony

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  • Posts: 26
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #112 on: June 22, 2007, 11:40:59 PM »
I take Seroquell, Klonopin and Wellbutrin (which I love too much, being a recovering anorexic...the buzz keeps me food free for days.  Have logged more than 22 years as a patient in psych wards.  I feel age (or having survived into middle age) has been the best therapy.  I long , one day, to float off the Benzos...too much memory loss and Pink Floyd-esque abandon of reality. 

Am lucky to have a doctor who believes the mere anxiety of an "042" diagnosis warrants my continued access to the good stuff.  As I no longer drink (recent move to sobriety) the anxiety medicines make it possible for me to breathe and not be terrified of the world around me.

Cheers,
Tony
Heureux, qui comme Ulysse a fait un beau voyage.....

Offline gordonh28

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Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #113 on: June 28, 2007, 09:38:40 PM »
I take 200 mg of Ellavil nightly before bed. Have done that for over 5 years, but I am not in that like most people category, I also take 2 /2mg time released zanax a day, and I am still a bit anxious and hyper. Go figure?????
Gordonh28 ( Al )

I have been in St Pete, Fl. for 9 years.
Moved here from Miami, I lived there for 12 years. (Diagnosed in 1995)

Labs
02/28/2008 VL>25    CD4>837 CD4%>37
05/08/2008 VL>25    CD4>875 CD4%>35
08/26/2008 VL>25    CD4>578 CD4%>38
11/04/2008 VL>25    CD4>879 CD4%>34
02/24/2009 VL>25    CD4>833 CD4%>36
05/04/2009 VL>25    CD4>762 CD4%>37
08/25/2009 VL>25    CD4>823 CD4%>37
10/21/2009 VL>25    CD4>1025 CD4%>34
03/13/2010 Vl>25     CD4>745  CD4%>34
04/06/2010 VL>25    CD4>877  CD4%>35
Norvir/Comb/Lexiva

Offline chm02

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    • id est
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #114 on: June 28, 2007, 11:09:55 PM »
Effexor and Wellbutrin. About 6 years now. I keep thinking that maybe I should stop the meds for a while and see if my depression has gone away yet. heh.

Offline bobino

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  • Posts: 264
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #115 on: July 03, 2007, 12:37:02 AM »

I've tried about nine different antidepressants, I think.  Now I'm stabilized on:

Trazodone:  450 mg/day
Xanax XR:    0.5 mg/day
Celexa:        20 mg/day

Oh, and since I live in San Francisco, there's also medical cannabis.  Trust me, it does wonders for anxiety.  It's the only thing that can really make me forget about HIV.

Suivons les rivières
Gardons les torrents
Restons en colère
Soyons vigilants

Offline NYCguy

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  • Posts: 180
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #116 on: July 08, 2007, 03:33:40 PM »
started Lexapro shortly after being diagnosed + and it really helped - snapped me out of a huge hole I was falling into, but made it so damn difficult to cum I couldn't wait to get off the stuff.  Tried adding Welbutrin to counteract the sexual side effects, but it just made me more anxious and didn't help at all.  Finally went off about 2 mo ago and doing fine.  Hub started taking it and helped him w/no side effects
11/9/06 = #$%^&!
sometime early Dec 2006:
CD4 530 20%/VL >250,000 (&*$$%!!)
started Reyataz300mg/Norvir/Truvada 12-27-06.
1/30/07 CD4 540 30%/VL <400
4/07 CD4 600+ 33%/VL <50
6/9/07 CD4 720 37%/VL <50
10/15/07 CD4 891 (!) %? VL <50
1/2010 CD4 599 (37%) VL<50 (drop due to acute HCV)
9/2010 - looks like HCV is gone for good! And I'm finally drinking again, thank GOD
2013 - considering a switch to Stribild. but I love my Kidneys (but I hate farting all the time!)...
June 2013 - switched to Stribild.  so far so good...

Offline steve1965

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  • Posts: 5
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #117 on: July 08, 2007, 04:07:36 PM »
I started Celexa (citaloram) at 10mg. and it  seems to be helping better than Wellbutrin. I take it in the morning because it tends to create sleep issues which I already have (Lunesta for sleep). My partner switched from Wellbutrin to Celexa too. It seems to be helping him quite a bit too. Better living thru pharmacuticals and retail therapy.
"Accentuate the positive, medicate the negative" Amy Sedaris, actress, comedian, as quoted in the New York Post

Offline dufusmaximus

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  • Posts: 34
Re: How many of you take anti-depressants?
« Reply #118 on: July 15, 2007, 10:41:18 PM »
I've been on paxil 10mg for almost 2 months, they even it all out.
I take trazadone (25-200mgs, depends on my day) to sleep at night, lately been skipping them.
I take ativan 1-2 mg for situations or dramas (long car trips, extra stressfull times)
i also go to therapy, worry about just taking drugs withought counseling

i'm not happy about taking the drugs and therapy, feel i should be able to 'fix myself'...but a series of events: middle age, bad numbers, bad relationship kinda all hit me at once...i also have been holding a lot of stuff in for years and years that are starting to surface  - no fun

i don't want to be one of the people who go to therapy for decades and go thru the whole alphabet of drugs, i'll try to stay hopeful that this current combo will help.

my hiv med is atripla, i know it has some side effects on sleep/dreams, other than some trippy days, i've been ok - hard to tell what is really doing what to my fragile little mind

don't feel bad if you are taking drugs to get your life on track, the options seem to be drinking or street drugs and i've yet to see those self treatments end well

good luck

 


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