Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Lipodystrophy & Metabolic Problems


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No sweat, I stand happily corrected  ;)

aaaaaah REJECTION I know her well myself, wish we could all have her locked up for life. she is not needed or wanted in our life. but we are stuck with her. I went through the wasteing in my face, arms, legs and butt (ill see if i can find a pic and add it then) I even looked gross to myself so trust I didn't leave the house too often. then I started to filll out again with a switch in meds but no added meds or fillers, I still dont have my nice chip monk cheeks back, not much butt came back but at least my tail bone dont stick out so badly, the arms are still small but not too bad got my thighs back  ;D..... then I did the complete oposit and gained the gut  :'( now I look 6 months pregnate, now how many men want to date someone who looks pregnate? people will question whos child it is (even though none is in there)raises questions when your trying to introduce someone to your friends and family then what do you tell them? so even though I am not a gay man I know how you feel.

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Miss Philicia:
tee hee... I look 4 months pregnant myself.  All in the last 8 months.  I was always nice and thin before.  So now I look pregnant but have the wasted face = mess

the amusing and ironic thing is that my numbers are the best of my entire life

Rejection in any form is bias and a common flaw in human condition. We all face some forms of bias throughout our lives and it's really important we MUST learn to overcome this obstacle ourselves.

What gets me most are constant questions from people who know me before socially and professionally. They wonder why I lost so much weight and my sunken face don't help much either with simple answers of diet or being just sick. I used to be pretty buff like GSOgymrat [ he looks great btw..:) ] but have not been gymming to avoid unnecessary comments, some of which were really cruel.

It took me awhile to just accept it & deal with it. What really strengthened my resolve to accept and ignore judgement was something which I saw on The Oprah show. It featured the Woman without the Face , aptly renamed by Oprah as, The Woman who Survived. Those who know of that segment will know of an incredibly brave woman whose face was half blown off by her ex boyfriend. She recounted how so many so called friends left her and refused to be around her hideous condition. She will need at least 5 reconstructive major surgeries to just put a face back on, although it will never be of any semblance to a normal face. What moved me to tears was her incredible will to resist suicide and live; and her determination to just learn and cope. I salute her and those who serve as stars in our areas of darkness.

For those who can afford facial reconstructive fillers and procedures, that is great. For those who cannot, and this is not said lightly, be strong. U will attract better friends and your lives thereon will improve. Although I am currently still not on medication, I have facial wasting. I dun plan to get any fillers yet due to financial considerations. I have made a few new friends who know of my condition but is a non issue with them. I am grateful. For every 10 black marbles, I get a big white one. So find and use up those black ones really quickly and look for the next Big White around the corner. I have made my peace and I feel better. Day by day when I am in front of the mirror, I really do like what I see.

I like to share some words of wisdom to possibly help live your life the best way you know how.

Stay well. Blessed Be!

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centred; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, they may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It is NEVER between you and them anyway.

~~A poem Mother Teresa hung on a wall of the orphanage she founded in Calcutta.

I Love myself and feel I am a very good person, to have someone else Love you, you must first be able to Love yourself. now as far as liking how I look well I don't, my Face is not too bad no more and the pic I posted was 1 of the better ones, at that time I didn't allow too many photos, now I wish I had they make great references, not on how ridiculous we may have looked at 1 time but when some people complain to me about how rough they have it I would love to show them a little of what an hiv person can go through and looks are just 1 aspect of all the trauma and drama we can see in our life now. pictures in a book are not as good as pictures of yourself or someone you actually know going through it. then you have enough details to stop them in their tracks. then they say oh I am so sorry~~shoot don't pity me just stop complaining about your healthy life and look around you.

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