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Author Topic: The Super Dooper Funny Thread  (Read 37184 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« on: June 05, 2008, 04:52:13 PM »
Got anything funny to share?



P.S.
For those of you offended by the photo above please click the link below.

http://www.bluemountain.com/display.pd?prodnum=3132971&path=35075

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2008, 05:23:41 PM »

MtD

Offline BlueMoon

  • Member
  • Posts: 665
  • Calling from the Fun House
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2008, 08:50:59 PM »
With friends like these. . . .

[attachment deleted by admin]
...................VL.....CD4.....%
-----------------------------------------
08/10-- ......<40.....290.....42
05/10-- ......<48.....290.....46
02/10-- ......<48.....481.....44
10/09-- ......<48.....277.....46
07/09-- ......<48.....300.....38
05/09-- ........51.....449.....39
03/09-- Added Isentress
02/09-- ........65.....299.....34
11/08-- ........62.....242.....40
08/08-- ........66.....212.....29
05/08-- ......202.....217.....27
03/08-- ....5210.....187.....21
02/08-- Began Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir
12/07-- 273,000.....157.....22
11/07-- 229,000.....209.....22
10/07-- Diagnosis

It's a complex world.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2008, 08:58:54 PM »

MtD

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2008, 09:38:19 PM »
LOL I see a theme here

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2008, 09:41:54 PM »
Here a theme, there a theme, everywhere a theme-theme.


MtD

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2008, 02:29:46 PM »
Oh geez lol

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2008, 02:33:59 PM »

Offline chm02

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
    • id est

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2008, 05:37:12 PM »

MtD

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2008, 05:55:24 PM »
Confucius say:

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2008, 06:01:41 PM »
I thought so!

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2008, 06:03:59 PM »

MtD

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2008, 06:10:21 PM »
Proud home of Enduring Freedom Patriotic Pads....

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2008, 06:19:46 PM »

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2008, 06:59:20 PM »

MtD

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2008, 07:44:17 PM »
LOL those are all funny

Love the boobs on miss innocent  ;D

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #17 on: June 06, 2008, 08:59:05 PM »

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #18 on: June 06, 2008, 09:23:44 PM »

MtD

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #19 on: June 07, 2008, 08:02:25 AM »
Another reason to love kids....

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #20 on: June 07, 2008, 08:29:16 AM »
ANOTHER ROAD HAZARD TO BE AWARE OF:

I'm driving along on the highway
at 65 miles an hour
(the speed limit), minding my own business,
when outta nowhere there's
this big crack in my windshield!!

I swerved right,



and then left,



and it was still right there!!




"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #21 on: June 07, 2008, 11:15:04 AM »
Yesterday at work, I was the guy wearing the tie.  Long week....

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #22 on: June 07, 2008, 11:45:39 AM »

Offline chm02

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
    • id est
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #23 on: June 07, 2008, 03:40:35 PM »

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #24 on: June 08, 2008, 09:32:19 AM »
I'm quite certain there are a number of folks here who would agree....

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #25 on: June 08, 2008, 04:49:31 PM »
I'm quite certain there are a number of folks here who would agree....

Ha!  I actually LOL'd

 ;D

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2008, 07:47:01 PM »
Uh, yeah.

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #27 on: June 10, 2008, 07:48:56 PM »
.

[attachment deleted by admin]
08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #28 on: June 13, 2008, 10:20:06 AM »
ITS ALL ABOUT THE BLING:

 

An older, white haired gay man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a handsome young stud at his side.
He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
boyfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000" the jeweler
said.
The young man's eyes sparkled and his whole body trembled with
excitement.
The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by
check.  I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it
now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick
the ring up Monday afternoo n," he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. "Ther e's no money in
that account."
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about my weekend!"
 


[attachment deleted by admin]
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #29 on: June 13, 2008, 01:44:12 PM »
This is late to the party, but still funny.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rleUPHX8yfM&feature=related

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #30 on: June 13, 2008, 04:34:06 PM »

MtD

tendai

  • Guest
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #31 on: June 19, 2008, 07:21:09 AM »
 :D

[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: June 19, 2008, 07:28:02 AM by tendai »

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #32 on: June 19, 2008, 11:10:57 AM »
This is late to the party, but still funny.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rleUPHX8yfM&feature=related

LOL whoever edited that did a great job.

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #33 on: June 19, 2008, 11:31:25 AM »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g

labeled as extreme funny. I'd say it was cute funny.

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #34 on: June 20, 2008, 01:22:05 PM »
Old Timer Sex


The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

 

 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #35 on: June 20, 2008, 01:33:14 PM »
Jeromy and I have been laughing at this commercial which has been playing on Charlotte cable.

The most sophisticated piece of technology that you will ever pee on... :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GXskZFXbNY&feature=related

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #36 on: June 20, 2008, 01:42:55 PM »
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.

Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath.

One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on t he monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little "0ral sex" will do the trick & bring her out o f the coma.

"The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.

The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate.

The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure; maybe she choked."
 

 ;D

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #37 on: June 21, 2008, 01:59:57 AM »
You're gonna turn into a Chicken:

My little sister and I  were watching my grandmother fix chicken, again. She was always cooking chicken as it was the only meat we would eat. We did not like red meat very well, and grandmother would fuss and fuss stating that we needed to eat a variety meats.

One day she stated that eating too much chicken was not good for you as you would start to become what you ate. Intrigued, we asked her what did she mean.

She stated that you could start to grow feathers and such.

We thought about this for awhile, as we really, really liked chicken.

One day my little sister came running up to me stating that it had happened and she was turning into a chicken. Look.

She pulled down the front of her panties exposing the beginnings of 'feathers' growing out of her.

OMG, I exclaimed, look and see if I'm turning into a chicken too.

Pulling down my pants, she looked and the started moving her head side to side and clucking in dismay.

"What is it?" I cried.

"It's too late for you" she said. "Not only have you started growing the feathers, but you're growing the neck and gizzards too"

« Last Edit: June 21, 2008, 08:22:23 AM by rondrond »
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #38 on: June 21, 2008, 08:22:33 PM »
LOL

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #39 on: June 22, 2008, 12:16:54 PM »
I got everyone of these except the one for 'At the Electric Company'...I don't get it.... :-\



Sign over a Gynecologist' s Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
 
************ ********* *****
 
In a Podiatrist's office:
 
"Time wounds all heels."
 
************ ********* *****
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
 
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
************ ********* *****
 
At a Proctologist' s door:
 
"To expedite your visit please back in."
 
************ ********* *****
 
On a Plumber's truck:
 
"We repair what your husband fixed."
 
************ ********* *****
 
On another Plumber's truck:
 
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
************ ********* *****
 
On a Church's Billboard:
 
"7 days without God makes one weak."
 
************ ********* *****
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee  :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
 
************ ********* *****
 
At a Towing company:
 
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
************ ********* *****
 
On an Electrician' s truck:
 
"Let us remove your shorts."
 
************ ********* *****
 
In a Nonsmoking Area:
 
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
************ ********* *****
 
On a Maternity Room door:
 
"Push. Push. Push."
 
************ ********* *****
 
At an Optometrist' s Office:
 
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
************ ********* *****
 
On a Taxidermist' s window:
 
"We really know our stuff."
 
************ ********* *****
 
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
************ ********* *****
 
At a Car Dealership:
 
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
************ ********* *****
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
 
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
************ ********* *****
 
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
 
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
 
************ ********* *****
 
At the Electric Company
 
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
 
************ ********* *****
 
In a Restaurant window:
 
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
************ ********* *****
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
 
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
 

 
At a Propane Filling Station:
 
"Thank heaven for little grills."
 
************ ********* *****
 
 
And don't forget the sign at a
 
Chicago  Radiator Shop:
 
     "Best place in town to take a leak."
 
« Last Edit: June 22, 2008, 12:20:03 PM by rondrond »
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,941
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #40 on: June 22, 2008, 12:33:58 PM »


                  delighted = cut off power

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #41 on: June 22, 2008, 12:50:51 PM »

                  delighted = cut off power

pfftt...thanks, now I get it.  :D
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2008, 06:53:35 PM »
Dont feel bad, I had to read it a couple of times.

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #43 on: June 23, 2008, 01:32:11 PM »
THE BIBLE AS TOLD BY A CHILD

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, "The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, "Give me a light!" and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his  family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights everyday with manicotti. Then He gave them His top Ten Commandments.

These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor they father
and they mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound
very wise to me.

 

 

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't know much about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, "Close the door! Were you born in a barn" It would be nice to be able to say, "Yes mom, don't you remember, I was."

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

 

 

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stickup for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #44 on: June 24, 2008, 10:01:00 AM »
Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble.

DORMITORY: 
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: 
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER: 
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:  When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:  ! 
When you rearrange the letters: 
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters: 
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE  :
When you rearrange the letters: 
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: 
When you rearrange the letters: 
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: 
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: 
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: 
WOMAN HITLER
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #46 on: July 07, 2008, 03:39:17 AM »
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we  would all be driving cars with the following characteristic:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would  crash........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in  the road, you would have to buy a new car. 

3.  Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have  to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,  restart it and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason  you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuvre  such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,  in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh  would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast  and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. 

6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all  be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning  light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying. 

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out  and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,  turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a  new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over  again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old  car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine  off. 

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,002
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #47 on: July 07, 2008, 10:05:41 AM »
My first act as president won't be to end the war in Iraq or reforming healthcare but...

free frosty chocolate milkshakes for everyone! Woohoo!

Ford

http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=70QMK154dnW353PUu82f
« Last Edit: July 07, 2008, 10:09:14 AM by GSOgymrat »

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,643
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #48 on: July 07, 2008, 10:32:49 AM »

ford....I am so there.

Yesterday here in Red Bluff:  105'
Today:  106'

but...
free frosty chocolate milkshakes for everyone! Woohoo!
Ford
http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=70QMK154dnW353PUu82f

 Tomorrow:  110'  <sigh`~`~>
..........

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #49 on: July 11, 2008, 11:39:59 PM »
 Tech Support:   

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all othe r system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....
_____________________________________
 
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by I ts Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 .. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high mainte nance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs .. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

 


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