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Author Topic: The Super Dooper Funny Thread  (Read 34495 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #52 on: July 13, 2008, 10:19:14 AM »
A lawyer and a blond woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blond is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game.  The lawyer asks the first question. "What' s the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blond doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Air phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.  After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blond and hands her $500. The blond takes the $500 and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The blond reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #53 on: July 22, 2008, 01:09:43 AM »
One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8PnRM-m7Dg

I thought of this because my partner and I have been looking for a standard poodle. We contacted a breeder near where my partner's parents live and it turns out the white standard poodle from Best in Show is one of their dogs. We were excited about the prospect of purchasing one of their puppies this autumn until we heard the price: $2500. I really don't want to spend that much money on a dog that we are not going to show or breed.

Offline Winiroo

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  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #54 on: July 23, 2008, 11:35:16 AM »
We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.
LOL


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline rondrond

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  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #55 on: July 24, 2008, 02:23:23 AM »
Ignore the Foreign language. Click Start. Then it will 3,2,1 and then give a sequence of numbers. Memorize from smallest to largest number..after 5-6 tests it will give your result. ...I was a 35 ..hit replay and was a 29....(it seems that life is easier when you know what to expect)...

All the colorful squares further down are other games...I like the one with the arrows..and the jigsaw....I've already done 5 of them...for some reason, I like hearing the jigsaw pieces 'click' together

unrolling the toilet paper game , I used my roller bar on the mouse.34seconds...the grab and drag was too strenuous.....
 

 
 
http://flashfabrica.com/f_learning/brain/brain.html


edited for typo..
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #56 on: July 24, 2008, 10:57:50 AM »
I got a 27. Had to read the directions twice though. LOL I should eat some breakfast NOW  ;D


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #57 on: August 03, 2008, 02:11:25 PM »
Report: Obama’s Slim Build Could Turn Off America’s Portly Voters

http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/03/report-obamas-slim-build-could-turn-off-americas-portly-voters/

At first I thought this must be The Onion but of course it is Fox News.  ::)

“He’s too new … and he needs to put some meat on his bones,” Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife
(and political expert) in Corpus Christi, Texas

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #58 on: August 14, 2008, 04:53:22 PM »
I took a photo of this unfortunately named shopping center on my lunch break. Now I can say I ate at Cum Park Plaza.


Offline Winiroo

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  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #59 on: August 14, 2008, 06:44:26 PM »
I took a photo of this unfortunately named shopping center on my lunch break. Now I can say I ate at Cum Park Plaza.



LMAO!


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #60 on: August 29, 2008, 03:41:37 AM »
Replacement windows....
 
    Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today,  I got a call from the contractor who installed them. 

He was  complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

      Hellloooo,...........just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

 So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year.  That 'in ONE YEAR these  windows would pay for themselves!'

    Helllooooo?  It's been a year! I told him.

  There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.  He never called back.

  Guess I won that stupid argument.

   I bet he felt like an idiot.

 
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #61 on: August 29, 2008, 12:36:10 PM »
LOL


We really did just had new windows installed.


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #62 on: August 29, 2008, 02:32:01 PM »

Offline Winiroo

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  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #63 on: August 29, 2008, 02:51:04 PM »
LOL


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #64 on: August 30, 2008, 12:43:11 AM »
Charlie and the Banana King....
 
Put a banana in you ear...
once it's in,
your gloom will disappear..
the bad in the world is hard to hear...
 
http://www.youtube.com/v/QFCSXr6qnv4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #65 on: August 30, 2008, 12:17:36 PM »
I cant believe I watched the whole thing. LOL

There was a cool spider this morning in my front yard so I decided to take pictures and make a musical slideshow to amuse myself.



http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #66 on: August 30, 2008, 08:11:45 PM »
Laughter IS the best medicine.

Get through the first minute and there's something for everyone!

Give it up for these two!  :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QujA8YYgTWU

This one was pretty good too, they didn't see it coming.........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT6InvLJUzA&feature=related

« Last Edit: August 30, 2008, 08:39:26 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #67 on: August 30, 2008, 08:42:06 PM »
LOL I love those

I thought it was going to be this one when I clicked on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImBaVm7K6Do&feature=related
I didnt realise there where so many people who made their first dance funny.
I could spend hours watching these LOL


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline Texan38

  • Member
  • Posts: 686
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #68 on: August 30, 2008, 10:57:20 PM »
I soooo love this thread!  It always gives me a laugh when I need one.
In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.
~ Lauren Bacall

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #69 on: August 30, 2008, 11:30:39 PM »
Charlie goes to Candy Mountain...
 
http://www.youtube.com/v/CsGYh8AacgY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param
 
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,918
  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #70 on: August 31, 2008, 11:41:18 AM »
Had to add this one, too!  It was a little boring at first, but then they got some.....help!   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XClUAPwE4Z0&feature=related

_______________________________________________________________
 :o   :o   :o  W..............T.....................F?

Evidently 17 million had clicked on this before I did.....   :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o&feature=related
___________________________________________________________

This does NOT look like cruel and unusual punishment.  Talk about getting your exercise at recess!  They loosen up at 3:30 or so..... cha-cha at 5:30 (LMAO!).  I wanna play, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKMTDYtFJl8&NR=1
_______________________________________________________________

O

M

G

 :o

"Jump!"  ....... and I was thinking Van Halen.  NOT!  ROTFLMAO!    :D   :D   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXbfCQ6eV_I&feature=related

These guys need to take their show on the road once they get out!!!!   ;)
« Last Edit: August 31, 2008, 12:16:05 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #71 on: August 31, 2008, 12:14:07 PM »
One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8PnRM-m7Dg


Someone mentioned this is McCain/Palin 2008, which makes it even funnier!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #72 on: August 31, 2008, 12:32:15 PM »
OMG, I thought I had seen the best of the guys in red suits, but you are going to love this!!

Remember, I'm a METAL HEAD, and even I like this............

C'mon, at least look at the beginning.............   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4aDnhfepI

Win, this one's for you!.................

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYp2Aloz-uE&feature=related

Do the Hustle!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-FhczpCZ84&feature=related
« Last Edit: August 31, 2008, 12:52:46 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

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  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #73 on: August 31, 2008, 02:23:28 PM »
I liked the Hustle. Those boys can gyrate LOL
Plus I have an affinity for 70's music.
I wonder how they manage to choreograph that many people. Seems like it would be tough.
Especially since assumabley those men don't want to be there. They are in a prison...

Talented prisoners  ;D

I wonder if their reform measures work.


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline Winiroo

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  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #74 on: August 31, 2008, 02:35:20 PM »


http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #75 on: August 31, 2008, 04:35:32 PM »
That was cute. :)

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #76 on: August 31, 2008, 09:09:06 PM »

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #77 on: September 01, 2008, 08:48:44 AM »
I liked those  :D
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

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    • http://winiroo.synthasite.com/
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #78 on: September 02, 2008, 12:43:11 PM »
How to speak southern


Addled:  Confused, disoriented, as in the case of Northern sociologists who try to make sense out of the South, "What's wrong with that Yankee? He acts right addled."

Afar:  In a state of combustion. "Call the far department. That house is afar."

Ahr:  What we breathe, also a unit of time made up of 60 minutes. "They should've been here about an ahr ago."

Ar:  Possessive pronoun. "That's AR dawg, not yours."

Ary:  Not any. "He hadn't got ary cent."

Awfullest:  The worst. "That's the awfullest lie you evr told me in your life."

Bad-mouth:  To disparage or derogate. "All these candidates have bad-mouthed each other so much I've about decided not to vote for any of 'em."

Baws:  Your employer. "The baws may not always be right, but he's always the baws."

Best:  Another baffling Southernism that is usually couched in the negative. "You best not speak to Bob about his car. He just had to spend $300 on it."

Braht:  Dazzing. "Venus is a braht planet."

Bud:  Small feathered crature that flies. "A robin sure is a pretty bud."

Cawse:  Cause, usually preceded in the South by the adjective "lawst" (lost). "The War Between the States was a lawst cawse."

Cayut:  A furry animal much beloved by little girls but detested by adults when it engages in mating rituals in the middle of the night. "Be sure to put the cayut out-side before you go to bed."

Chunk:  To throw. "Chunk it there, Leroy. Ole Leroy sure can chunk 'at ball, can't he? Best pitcher we ever had."

Clone:  A type of scent women put on themselves. "what's that clone you got on, honey?"

Contrary:  Obstinate, perverse. "Jim's a fine boy, but she won't have nothin' to do with him. She's just contrary, is all Ah can figure."

Daints:  A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the sound of music. "You wanna go to the daints with me Saturday night, Bobbie Sue?"

Danjuh:  Imminent peril. What John Paul Jones meant when he said, "Give me a fast ship, for I intend to put her in harm's way."

Deah:  A term of endearment, except in the sense Rhett Butler used it when he said to Scarlett O'Hara, "Frankly, my deah, Ah don't give a damn."

Didn't go to:  Did not intend to. "Don't whip Billy for knockin' his little sister down. He didn't go to do it."

Dollin:  Another term of endearment. (darling) "Dollin, will you marry me?"

Dreckly:  Soon. "He'll be along dreckly."

Effuts:  Exertions. "Lee made great effuts to defeat Grant."

Everthang:  All-encompassing. "everthang's all messed up."

Everhoo:  Another baffling Southernism - a reverse contraction of whoever."Everhoo one of you kids wants to go to the movie better clean up their room."

Fahn:  Excellent. "That sure is a fahn-lookin' woman."

Farn:  Anything that is not domestic. "Ah don't drink no farn liquor, specially Rooshin vodka."

Fetchin':  Attractive. "That's a mighty fetchin' woman. Think I'll ask her to daints."

Fixin' to:  About to. "I'm fixin' to go to the store."

Foolin' around:  Can mean not doing anything in particular or sex, usually of the extramarital variety. "Sue caught her husband foolin' around, so she divorced him."

Fummeer:  A place other than one's present location. "Where do we go fummeer?"

Gawn:  Departed. "Bo's not here. He's gawn out with somebody else."

Gone:  Going to. "You boys just git out there and play football. We gone make mistakes, but they are, too."

Got a good notion:  A statement of intent. "Ah got a good notion to cut a switch and whale the dickens out of that boy."

Grain of sense:  An appraisal of intelligence, invariably expressed in negative terms. "That boy ain't got a grain of sense."

Gummut:  A large institution operating out of Washington that consumes taxes at a fearful rate. "Bill's got it made. He's got a gummut job."

Hahr:  That which grows on your head and requires cutting periodically. "You need a hahrcut."

Hod:  Not soft, but meaning stubborn or willful when used to describe a Southern child's head. "That boy's so hod-headed it's pitiful."

Hot:  A muscle that pumps blood through the body, but also regarded as the center of emotion. "That gull (girl) has just broke his hot."

Hush yo' mouth:  An expression of pleased embarrassment, as when a Southern female is paid an extravagant compliment. "Honey, you're 'bout the sweetest, best-lookin' woman in Tennessee. Now hush yo' mouth, Jim Bob."

Ignert:  Ignorant. "Ah've figgered out what's wrong with Congress. Most of 'em are just plain ignert."

Ill:  Angry, testy. "What's wrong with Molly today? She's ill as a hornet."

Innerduce:  To make one person acquainted with another. "Lemme innerduce you to my cousin.  She's a little on the heavy side, but she's got a great personality."

Iont:  I don't. "Iont know if Ah can eat another bobbycue (barbecue) or not."

Jack-leg:  Self taught, especially in reference to automobile mechanics and clergy-men. "He's just a jack-leg preacher, but he sure knows how to put out the hellfire and brimstone."

Jewant:  Do you want. "Jewant to go over to the Red Rooster and have a few beers?"

Ka-yun:  A sealed cylinder containing food. "If that woman didn't have a kay-un opener, her family would starve to death."

Kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on:  A colorful Southern expression used as as evaluation of someone's ability to accomplish something. "He ain't got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on."

Kin:  Related to. An Elizabethan expression, one of many which survived in the South. "Are you kin to him?" "Yeah, He's my brother."

Klect:  To receive money to which one is entitled. "Ah don't think you'll ever klect that bill."

Laht:  A source of illumination. "This room's too doc (dark). We need more laht in here."

Lar:  One who tells untruths. "Not all fishermen are lars. It's just that a lot of lars fish."

Layin' up:  Resting or meditating. Or as Southern women usually put it, loafing. "Cecil didn't go to work today 'cause of a chronic case of laziness. He's been layin' up in the house all day, drivin' me crazy."

Let alone:  Much less. "He can't even hold a job and support himself, let alone support a family."

Let out:  Dismissed. "What time does school let out?"

Lick and a promise:  To do something in a hurried or perfunctory fashion. "We don't have time to clean this house so it's spotless. Just give it a lick and a promise."

Mahty raht:  Correct. "You mahty raht about that, Awficer. Guess Ah WAS speedin' a little bit."

Make out:  Yes, it means that in the South too, but it also means finish your meal. "You chirren (Children) hadn't had nearly enough to eat. Make out your supper."

Mind to:  To have the intention of doing something. "Ah got a mind to quit my job and just loaf for a while."

Nawth:  Any part of the country outside the South _Midwest, California or whatever.If it's not South, it's Nawth. "People from up Nawth sure do talk funny."

Nekkid:  To be unclothed. "Did you see her in that movie? She was nekkid as a jaybird."

Nemmine:  Never mind, but used in the sense of difference. "It don't make no nemmine to me."

Of a moanin:  Of a morning, meaning in the morning. "My daddy always liked his coffee of a moanin."

Ownliest:  The only one. "That's the ownliest one Ah've got left."

Parts:  Buccaneers who sailed under the dreaded skull and crossbones. "See that third baseman?  He just signed a big contrack with the Pittsburg Parts."

PEEcans:  Northerners call them peCONNS for some obscure reason. "Honey, go out in the yard and pick up a passel of PEEcans. Ah'm gonna make us a pie."

Pert:  Perky, full of energy. "You look mighty pert today."

Pick at:  To pester and annoy. "Jimmy, Ah told you not to pick at your little sister."

Purtiest:  The most pretty. "ain't she the purtiest thing you ever seen?"

Quar:  An organized choral group, usually connected with a church or school. "Did you hear the news? The preacher left his wife and run off with the quar director."

Raffle:  A long-barrelled firearm. "Dan'l Boone was a good shot with a raffle."

Rahtnaow:  At once. "Linda Sue, Ah want you to tell that boy it's time to go home and come in the house rahtnaow."

Ranch:  A tool used to lossen or tighten nuts and bolts. "Hand me that ranch, Homer."

Raut:  A method of getting from one place to another which Southerners pronounce to rhyme with "kraut". Yankees, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, pronounce "route" to rhyme with "root". Or worse still, "foot."

Restrunt:  A place to eat. "New Yorker's got a lot of good restrunts."

Retard:  No longer employed. "He's retard now."

Sass:  Another Elizabethan term derived from the word saucy, meaning to speak in an impertinent manner. "Don't sass me, young lady. You're not too old to get a whippin'."

Shainteer:  Indicates the absence of a female. "Is the lady of the house in?" "Nope. Shainteer."

Shudenoughta:  Should not. "You shudenoughta have another drink."

Spell:  An indetermined length of time. "Let's sit here and rest a spell."

Stain:  The opposite of leaving. "Ah hate this party, and Ah'm not stain much longer."

Supper:  The evening meal Southererners are having while Yankees are having dinner. "What's for supper, honey?

Take on:  To behave in a highly emotional manner. "Don't take on like that, Brenda Sue. He's not the only man in Lee County."

Tal:  What you dry off with after you take a share. "Would you bring me a tal, sweetheart?"

Tawt:  To instruct. "Don't pull that cat's tail. Ah tawt you better'n that."

Thank:  Think. "Ah thank Ah'll go to a movie tonight."

That ole dawg won't hunt no more:  That will not work. "You want to borrow $20 when you still owe me fifty? That ole dawg won't hunt no more."

Tore up:  Distraught, very upset. "His wife just left him, and he's all tore up about it."

Uhmewzin:  Funny, comical. "Few things are more uhmewzin than a Yankee tryin' to affect a Southern accent, since they invariably address one person as 'y'all when any Southern six-year-old knows 'y'all is always plural because it means 'all of you.'"

Unbeknownst:  Lacking knowledge of. "Unbeknownst to them, he had marked the cards."

Usta:  Used to. "Ah usta live in Savanah."

Vaymuch:  Not a whole lot, when expressed in the negative. "Ah don't like this ham vaymuch."

Wahn:  What Jesus turned the water into, unless you're Babdist who is persuaded it was only grape juice. "Could Ah have another glass of that wahn?"

Wars:  Slender strands of coated copper that carry power over long distances. "They're puttin' telephone wars underground now."

Wawk:  A method of non-polluting travel by foot. "Why don't we take an old-fashioned wawk?"

Wear out:  An expression used to describe a highly-effective method of behavior modification in children. "When Ah get ahold of that boy, Ah'm gonna wear him out."

Wender:  A glass-covered opening in a wawl. "Open that wender, It's too hot in here."

Yat:  A common greeting in the Irish Channel section of New Orleans. Instead of saying "hey" in lieu of "hello" the way most Southerners do, they say, "Where yat?"

Yew:  Not a tree, but a personal pronoun. "Yew wanna shoot some pool?"

Y'heah?:  A redundant expression tacked onto the end of sentences by Southerners. "Y'all come back soon, y'heah?"

Yontny:  Do you want any. "Yontny more cornbread?"

Yungins:  Also spelled younguns, meaning young ones. "Ah want all you yungins in bed in five minutes."

Zit:  Is it. "Zit already midnight, sugar? Tahm sure flies when you're having fun."



http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=winiroo&page=winiroo&album=21
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline Winiroo

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #79 on: September 10, 2008, 11:43:01 AM »
I love this new PSA

Click on the picture


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“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline fearless

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #80 on: September 11, 2008, 02:25:18 AM »
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational outcome - which (once again) appealed to readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding or subtracting or changing just one letter, so as to supply a new definition…

 

 The winners are:

 

1.    Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2.    Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3.    Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

4.    Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly .

5.    Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding politicians' brains that prevents logic from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6.    Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7.    Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8.    Sarchasm: The deep rift between the author of sarcastic wit and the target who doesn't get it.

9.    Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10.  Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11.  Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12.  Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer, man.

13.  Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things which are good for you.

14.  Glibido: All talk and no action.

15.  Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16.  Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17.  Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18.  Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

 

While you may already have seen most of these, The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

 

And the winners are:

 

1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 

 

Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline fearless

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #81 on: September 11, 2008, 02:26:39 AM »
It's likley only Jan and Matty (and any other Kiwi or Aussie) will get this. You need to know the accent.

Q. What did the Maori say to the Jew?

A. Hey bro'
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline penguin

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #82 on: September 11, 2008, 04:11:43 AM »

Q. What did the Maori say to the Jew?

A. Hey bro'

Boom! Boom! as basil brush might have said...

hehe   :D  :D

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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  • Cheech 2.2.94 - 4.23.10 We miss you so much!
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #83 on: September 11, 2008, 04:42:28 AM »
Fearless, those were good!  I like "decafalon" and "glibido!"   ;D    ;D
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Winiroo

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #84 on: September 12, 2008, 10:24:59 PM »
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!


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“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #85 on: September 12, 2008, 11:51:05 PM »
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm gonna remember that one! :D

Offline Winiroo

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #86 on: September 13, 2008, 09:34:45 PM »
Being a widow I always joke I never had to have a divorce I just kill my husbands.  ;D


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“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline Winiroo

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #87 on: September 13, 2008, 09:38:14 PM »
 
 
 
  Working On The Fourth Husband   
 
     A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
 
 



P.S.
I've only been married once....


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“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” Margaret Thatcher

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #88 on: September 25, 2008, 05:33:37 PM »
Speaking of mushrooms...


Offline Basquo

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #89 on: September 25, 2008, 10:53:19 PM »
What did the Cholo say to the house?

"Wassup, homes?"

What does a girl from (insert hillbilly state) say?

"Get off me, Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes!"

Offline rondrond

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #90 on: September 28, 2008, 12:20:13 AM »
   

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...


            This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse.
            Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
 Wal-Mart:
 

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
 
            Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

 

1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3) July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6) August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

            And last, but not least,

15) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
   
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #91 on: October 09, 2008, 12:05:47 PM »
Gas: It's America's Crack!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHYU3u0pPOM

WARNING: foul language.

Offline bear60

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Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #92 on: October 19, 2008, 12:01:31 PM »
Todays share of humor via email:
For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers
so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2009:


1..) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.
Grace Co. will merge and become:


Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

________________________________


2..) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and
become:

Poly, Warner Cracker.

________________________________


3..) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:

MMMGood.

________________________________


4.. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
and become:

ZipAudiDoDa.

________________________________


5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:

FedUP..

________________________________


6.. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:

Fairwell Honeychild.

________________________________


7.. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:

PouponPants.

________________________________


8.. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:

Knott NOW!

________________________________


And finally....


9.. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:

TittyTittyBangBang
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline rondrond

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  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #93 on: October 19, 2008, 12:28:59 PM »
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No! They eat the fingers separately!

What is a mummies favorite type of music?
Wrap.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2008, 12:44:24 PM by rondrond »
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #94 on: October 20, 2008, 11:25:15 AM »
Harry was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark and stormy Halloween night. The night was getting darker and the rain came harder, and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly Harry saw a car come toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, Harry got in the car and closed the door. Just as he realized there was nobody behind the wheel, the car started to move. As his panic set in, he looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared beyond belief, he started to pray, begging for his life. Just when the car got to the curve, and Harry thought it was all over, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel.

Harry was paralyzed in terror as he watched the hand appear every time the car got to a curve.

Gathering strength, Harry jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went to a bar and asked for two shots of rye. He started telling everyone about the horrible experience he went through. The crowd sat in an eerie silence when they realized that Harry was crying and wasn't intoxicated.

About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same cantina. One said to the other, "Look Pete, there's the jerk that got in the car when we were pushing it."
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,578
  • 'class' of '87
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #95 on: October 20, 2008, 02:27:35 PM »


A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nametag that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #96 on: October 20, 2008, 10:12:34 PM »
 :D that was a good one Alan.




What do you call the biggest baddest werewolf ever?

Mr. Werewolf
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #97 on: October 21, 2008, 09:50:08 PM »
 Three really old women are best friends. They spend most of their time together, until they finally all die in a car accident. When they get to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says, "Welcome to Heaven! There are no rules except you CANNOT step on the ducks!"

So the three old women spend the first few weeks enjoying heaven until the first woman accidentally steps on a duck. St Peter comes and says, "I told you not to step on the ducks! As punishment you must spend all eternity handcuffed to this gruesome looking man!" And so the first woman is handcuffed to an extremely ugly, old man.

A few months later, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck. St Peter comes and says, "I told you not to step on the ducks! As punishment you must spend all eternity handcuffed to this gruesome looking man!" And so the second woman is handcuffed to an extremely ugly, old man.

The last old woman spends the next few years being extremely careful not to step on the ducks. And so St. Peter comes with an extremely gorgeous young man and handcuffs him to the third woman. The woman asks, "Is this the reward I get for not stepping on the ducks?"

The handsome, young man replies, "I dont know, but I just stepped on a duck and here I am now."
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

Offline Mike89406

  • Member
  • Posts: 206
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #98 on: October 21, 2008, 11:38:26 PM »
« Last Edit: October 21, 2008, 11:40:21 PM by Mike89406 »

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,712
Re: The Super Dooper Funny Thread
« Reply #99 on: October 22, 2008, 12:09:46 AM »
On Oct. 31st, A bus full of ugly goblins was on their way to the ghoul convention when the bus wrecks and everyone dies and goes to hell.

The Devil hears about what happened to the goblins and felt bad about it. "I feel bad so im going to grant them one wish" He said to his secretary.

The first goblin enters hell and the Devil said to him "I feel bad for what happened, im going to grant you one wish". The goblin says "Ahhhhh,...errrmm... I wants to be handsome". "wish granted" and the devil makes him handsome.

The next goblin was a girl. The devil says to her "i feel bad for what happened, im going to grant you one wish" The goblin says "errrr..I wish i was beautiful". "wish Granted" and the Devil makes her beautiful. the rest of the goblins wished for the same thing till he got to the last one.

The last goblin was laughing his butt off. The Devil asks "what are you laughing at?" The goblins keeps laughing. "Okay. I feel bad for what happened, Ill grant you one wish". Says the devil.

And the Goblin goes ..

"Make them all ugly again."
« Last Edit: October 22, 2008, 12:11:19 AM by rondrond »
"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Sept '09  6 blood clots in left arm
Coumadin 5mgs
                                     
Atenolol/50mg/2x
Hydrochlorth 25mg/1x
Gemfibrozil/300mgs/2X
Symbicort
Proventil Inhaler
Potassium
Rhinocort


*APR 08~Viramune/Truvada
March08  CD4 330 23% VL 452.000 
*Jan09 Med change~Epzicom/Viramune

Aug09   CD4 523 23%  VL<48
Diagnosed: COPD
Dec 2013: CD4 645 45% VL 49
Med Change: Viramune/Epivir/Ziagen/Isentress

 


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